5 midnigh+sun-第38章
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morning。 I'd remembered oil this time； and the window now moved silently out of my
way。
I could tell by the way her hair lay smooth across the pillow that she'd had a less
restless night than the last time I was here。 She had her hands folded under her cheek like
a small child； and her mouth was slightly open。 I could hear her breath moving slowly in
and out between her lips。
It was an amazing relief to be here； to be able to see her again。 I realized that I
wasn't truly at ease unless that was the case。 Nothing was right when I was away from
her。
Not that all was right when I was with her； either； though。 I sighed； letting the
thirst fire rake through my throat。 I'd been away from it too long。 The time spent
without pain and temptation made it all the more forceful now。 It was bad enough that I
was afraid to go kneel beside her bed so that I could read the titles of her books。 I wanted
to know the stories in her head； but I was afraid of more than my thirst； afraid that if I let
myself get that close to her； I would want to be closer still？
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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Her lips looked very soft and warm。 I could imagine touching them with the tip
of my finger。 Just lightly？
That was exactly the kind of mistake that I had to avoid。
My eyes ran over her face again and again； examining it for changes。 Mortals
changed all the time—I was sad at the thought of missing anything？
I thought she looked？tired。 Like she hadn't gotten enough sleep this weekend。
Had she gone out？
I laughed silently and wryly at how much that upset me。 So what if she had？ I
didn't own her。 She wasn't mine。
No； she wasn't mine—and I was sad again。
One of her hands twitched； and I noticed that there were shallow； barely healed
scrapes across the heel of her palm。 She'd been hurt？ Even though it was obviously not
a serious injury； it still disturbed me。 I considered the location； and decided she must
have tripped。 That seemed a reasonable explanation； all things considered。
It was comforting to think that I wouldn't have to puzzle over either of these
small mysteries forever。 We were friends now—or； at least； trying to be friends。 I could
ask her about her weekend—about the beach； and whatever late night activity had made
her look so weary。 I could ask what had happened to her hands。 And I could laugh a
little when she confirmed my theory about them。
I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not she had fallen in the ocean。 I
wondered if she'd had a pleasant time on the outing。 I wondered if she'd thought about
me at all。 If she'd missed me even the tiniest portion of the amount that I'd missed her。
I tried to picture her in the sun on the beach。 The picture was incomplete； though；
because I'd never been to First Beach myself。 I only knew how it looked in pictures？
I felt a tiny qualm of unease as I thought about the reason why I'd never once
been to the pretty beach located just a few minutes run from my home。 Bella had spent
the day at La Push—a place where I was forbidden； by treaty； to go。 A place where a few
old men still remembered the stories about the Cullens； remembered and believed them。
A place where our secret was known？
I shook my head。 I had nothing to worry about there。 The Quileutes were bound
by treaty； too。 Even had Bella run into one of those aging sages； they could reveal
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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nothing。 And why would the subject ever be broached？ Why would Bella think to voice
her curiosity there？ No—the Quileutes were perhaps the one thing I did not have to
worry about。
I was angry with the sun when it began to rise。 It reminded me that I could not
satisfy my curiosity for days to come。 Why did it choose to shine now？
With a sigh； I ducked out her window before it was light enough for anyone to see
me here。 I meant to stay in the thick forest by her house and see her off to school； but
when I got into the trees； I was surprised to find the trace of her scent lingering on the
trail there。
I followed it quickly； curiously； becoming more and more worried as it led deeper
into the darkness。 What had Bella been doing out here？
The trail stopped abruptly； in the middle of nowhere in particular。 She'd gone just
a few steps off the trail； into the ferns； where she'd touched the trunk of a fallen tree。
Perhaps sat there？
I sat where she had； and looked around。 All she would have been able to see was
ferns and forest。 It had probably been raining—the scent was washed out； having never
set deeply into the tree。
Why would Bella have come to sit here alone—and she had been alone； no doubt
about that—in the middle of the wet； murky forest？
It made no sense； and； unlike those other points of curiosity； I could hardly bring
this up in casual conversation。
So； Bella； I was following your scent through the woods after I left your room
where I'd been watching you sleep？ Yes； that would be quite the ice breaker。
I would never know what she'd been thinking and doing here； and that had my
teeth grinding together in frustration。 Worse； this was far too much like the scenario I'd
imagined for Emmett—Bella wandering alone in the woods； where her scent would call
to anyone who had the senses to track it？
I groaned。 Not only did she have bad luck； but she courted it。
Well； for this moment she had a protector。 I would watch over her； keep her from
harm； for as long as I could justify it。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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I suddenly found myself wishing that Peter and Charlotte would make an
extended stay。
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
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8。 Ghost
I did not see much of Jasper's guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks。 I
only went home at all so that Esme wouldn't worry。 Otherwise； my existence seemed
more like that of a specter than a vampire。 I hovered； invisible in the shadows； where I
could follow the object of my love and obsession—where I could see her and hear her in
the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her；
sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own。 She never reacted
to such contact； their hands were just as warm as hers。
The enforced absence from school had never been a trial like this before。 But the
sun seemed to make her happy； so I could not resent it too much。 Anything that pleased
her was in my good graces。
Monday morning； I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the potential to
destroy my confidence and make the time spent away from her a torture。 As it ended up；
though； it rather made my day。
I had to feel some little respect for Mike Newton； he had not simply given up and
slunk away to nurse his wounds。 He had more bravery than I'd given him credit for。 He
was going to try again。
Bella got to school quite early and； seeming intent on enjoying the sun while it
lasted； sat at one of the seldom used picnic benches while she waited for the first bell to
ring。 Her hair caught the sun in unexpected ways； giving off a reddish shine that I had
not anticipated。
Mike found her there； doodling again； and was thrilled at his good luck。
It was agonizing to only be able to watch； powerless； bound to the forest's
shadows by the bright sunlight。
She greeted him with enough enthusiasm to make him ecstatic； and me the
opposite。
See； she likes me。 She wouldn't smile like that if she didn't。 I bet she wanted to
go to the dance with me。 Wonder what's so important in Seattle？
？ 2008 Stephenie Meyer
158
He perceived the change in her hair。 〃I never noticed before—your hair has red in
it。〃
I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he
pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers。
〃Only in the sun；〃 she said。 To my deep satisfaction； she cringed away from him
slightly when he tucked the strand behind her ear。
It took Mike a minute to build up his courage； wasting some time on small talk。
She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday。 From the faintly
smug expression on her face； hers was already done。 He'd forgotten altogether； and t
