droll stories-3-第13章

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things；　an　infinite　number　of　modes；　methods；　and　manners　of

practicing　revenge。



Then　he　pointed　out　to　her　canonically　what　a　Christian　thing　it　is　to

revenge　oneself；　because　all　through　the　Holy　Scriptures　God　declares

Himself；　above　all　things；　to　be　a　God　of　vengeance；　and　moreover；

demonstrates　to　us；　by　his　establishment　in　the　infernal　regions；　how

royally　divine　a　thing　vengeance　is；　since　His　vengeance　is　eternal。

From　which　it　followed；　that　women　with　monks　ought　to　revenge

themselves；　under　pain　of　not　being　Christians　and　faithful　servants

of　celestial　doctrines。



This　dogma　pleased　the　lady　much；　and　she　confessed　that　she　had　never

understood　the　commandments　of　the　Church；　and　invited　her　well…

beloved　monk　to　enlighten　her　thoroughly　concerning　them。　Then　the

chatelaine；　whose　vital　spirits　had　been　excited　by　the　vengeance

which　had　refreshed　them；　went　into　the　room　where　the　jade　was

amusing　herself；　and　by　chance　found　her　with　her　hand　where　she；　the

chatelaine；　often　had　her　eyelike　the　merchants　have　on　their　most

precious　articles；　in　order　to　see　that　they　were　not　stolen。　They

wereaccording　to　President　Lizet；　when　he　was　in　a　merry　mooda

couple　taken　in　flagrant　delectation；　and　looked　dumbfounded；　sheepish

and　foolish。　The　sight　that　met　her　eyes　displeased　the　lady　beyond

the　power　of　words　to　express；　as　it　appeared　by　her　discourse；　of

which　to　roughness　was　similar　to　that　of　the　water　of　a　big　pond　when

the　sluice…gates　were　opened。　It　was　a　sermon　in　three　heads；

accompanied　with　music　of　a　high　gamut；　varied　in　tones；　with　many

sharps　among　the　keys。



〃Out　upon　virtue！　my　lord；　I've　had　my　share　of　it。　You　have　shown　me

that　religion　in　conjugal　faith　is　an　abuse；　this　is　then　the　reason

that　I　have　no　son。　How　many　children　have　you　consigned　to　this

common　oven；　this　poor…box；　this　bottomless　alms…purse；　this　leper's

porringer；　the　true　cemetery　of　the　House　of　Cande？　I　will　know　if　I

am　childless　from　a　constitutional　defect；　or　through　your　fault。　I

will　have　handsome　cavaliers；　in　order　that　I　may　have　an　heir。　You

can　get　the　bastards；　I　the　legitimate　children。〃



〃My　dear；〃　said　the　bewildered　lord；　〃don't　shout　so。〃



〃But；〃　replied　the　lady；　〃I　will　shout；　and　shout　to　make　myself

heard；　heard　by　the　archbishop；　heard　by　the　legate；　by　the　king；　by

my　brothers；　who　will　avenge　this　infamy　for　me。〃



〃Do　not　dishonour　your　husband！〃



〃This　is　dishonour　then？　You　are　right；　but；　my　lord；　it　is　not

brought　about　by　you；　but　by　this　hussy；　whom　I　will　have　sewn　up　in　a

sack；　and　thrown　into　the　Indre；　thus　your　dishonour　will　be　washed

away。　Hi！　there；〃　she　called　out。



〃Silence；　madame！〃　said　the　sire；　as　shamefaced　as　a　blind　man's　dog；

because　this　great　warrior；　so　ready　to　kill　others；　was　like　a　child

in　the　hands　of　his　wife；　a　state　of　affairs　to　which　soldiers　are

accustomed；　because　in　them　lies　the　strength　and　is　found　all　the

dull　carnality　of　matter；　while；　on　the　contrary；　in　woman　is　a　subtle

spirit　and　a　scintillation　of　perfumed　flame　that　lights　up　paradise

and　dazzles　the　male。　This　is　the　reason　that　certain　women　govern

their　husbands；　because　mind　is　the　master　of　matter。



（At　this　the　ladies　began　to　laugh；　as　did　also　the　king）。



〃I　will　not　be　silent；〃　said　the　lady　of　Cande　（said　the　abbot；

continuing　his　tale）；　〃I　have　been　too　grossly　outraged。　This；　then；

is　the　reward　of　the　wealth　that　I　brought　you；　and　of　my　virtuous

conduct！　Did　I　ever　refuse　to　obey　you　even　during　Lent；　and　on　fast

days？　Am　I　so　cold　as　to　freeze　the　sun？　Do　you　think　that　I　embrace

by　force；　from　duty；　or　pure　kindness　of　heart！　Am　I　too　hallowed　for

you　to　touch？　Am　I　a　holy　shrine？　Was　there　need　of　a　papal　brief　to

kiss　me？　God's　truth！　have　you　had　so　much　of　me　that　you　are　tired？

Am　I　not　to　your　taste？　Do　charming　wenches　know　more　than　ladies？　Ha！

perhaps　it　is　so；　since　she　has　let　you　work　in　the　field　without

sowing。　Teach　me　the　business；　I　will　practice　it　with　those　whom　I

take　into　my　service；　for　it　is　settled　that　I　am　free。　That　is　as　we

should　be。　Your　society　was　wearisome；　and　the　little　pleasure　I

derived　from　it　cost　me　too　dear。　Thank　God！　I　am　quit　of　you　and　your

whims；　because　I　intend　to　retire　to　a　monastery。〃　。　。　。　She　meant　to

say　a　convent；　but　this　avenging　monk　had　perverted　her　tongue。



〃And　I　shall　be　more　comfortable　in　this　monastery　with　my　daughter；

than　in　this　place　of　abominable　wickedness。　You　can　inherit　from　your

wench。　Ha；　ha！　The　fine　lady　of　Cande！　Look　at　her！〃



〃What　is　the　matter？〃　said　Amador；　appearing　suddenly　upon　the　scene。



〃The　matter　is；　my　father；〃　replied　she；　〃that　my　wrongs　cry　aloud　for

vengeance。　To　begin　with；　I　shall　have　this　trollop　thrown　into　the

river；　sewn　up　in　a　sack；　for　having　diverted　the　seed　of　the　House　of

Cande　from　its　proper　channel。　It　will　be　saving　the　hangman　a　job。

For　the　rest　I　will〃



〃Abandon　your　anger；　my　daughter；〃　said　the　monk。　〃It　is　commanded　us

by　the　Church　to　forgive　those　who　trespass　against　us；　if　we　would

find　favour　in　the　side　of　Heaven；　because　you　pardon　those　who　also

pardon　others。　God　avenges　himself　eternally　on　those　who　have　avenged

themselves；　but　keeps　in　His　paradise　those　who　have　pardoned。　From

that　comes　the　jubilee；　which　is　a　day　of　great　rejoicing；　because　all

debts　and　offences　are　forgiven。　Thus　it　is　a　source　of　happiness　to

pardon。　Pardon！　Pardon！　To　pardon　is　a　most　holy　work。　Pardon

Monseigneur　de　Cande；　who　will　bless　you　for　your　gracious　clemency；

and　will　henceforth　love　you　much；　This　forgiveness　will　restore　to

you　the　flower　of　youth；　and　believe；　my　dear　sweet　young　lady；　that

forgiveness　is　in　certain　cases　the　best　means　of　vengeance。　Pardon

your　maid…servant；　who　will　pray　heaven　for　you。　Thus　God；　supplicated

by　all；　will　have　you　in　His　keeping；　and　will　bless　you　with　male

lineage　for　this　pardon。〃



Thus　saying；　the　monk　took　the　hand　of　the　sire；　placed　it　in　that　of

the　lady；　and　added



〃Go　and　talk　over　the　pardon。〃



And　then　he　whispered　into　the　husband's　ears　this　sage　advice



〃My　lord；　use　your　best　argument；　and　you　will　silence　her　with　it；

because　a　woman's　mouth　it　is　only　full　of　words　when　she　is　empty

elsewhere。　Argue　continually；　and　thus　you　will　always　have　the　upper

hand　of　your　wife。〃



〃By　the　body　of　the　Jupiter！　There's　good　in　this　monk　after　all；〃

said　the　seigneur；　as　he　went　out。



As　soon　as　Amador　found　himself　alone　with　Perrotte　he　spoke　to　her；

as　follows



〃You　are　to　blame；　my　dear；　for　having　wished　to　torment　a　poor

servant　of　God；　therefore　are　you　now　the　object　of　celestial　wrath；

which　will　fall　upon　you。　To　whatever　place　you　fly　it　will　always

follow　you；　will　seize　upon　you　in　every　limb；　even　after　your　death；

and　will　cook　you　like　a　pasty　in　the　oven　of　hell；　where　you　will

simmer　eternally；　and　every　day　you　will　receive　seven　hundred

thousand　million　lashes　of　the　whip；　for　the　one　I　received　through

you。〃



〃Ah！　holy　Father；〃　said　the　wench；　casting　herself　at　the　monk's　feet；

〃you　alone　can　save　me；　for　in　your　gown　I　should　be　sheltered　from

the　anger　of　God。〃



Saying　this；　she　raised　the　robe　to　place　herself　beneath　it；　and

exclaimed



〃By　my　faith！　monks　are　better　than　knights。〃



〃By　the　sulphur　of　the　devil！　You　are　not　acquainted　with　the　monks？〃



〃No；〃　said　Perrotte。



〃And　you　don't　know　the　service　that　monks　sing　without　saying　a

word？〃



〃No。〃



Thereupon　the　monk　went　through　this　said　service　for　her；　as　it　is

sung　on　great　feast　days；　with　all　the　grand　effects　used　in

monasteries；　the　psalms　well　chanted　in　f　major；　the　flaming　tapers；

and　the　choristers；　and　explained　to　her　the　/Introit/；　and　also　the

/ite　missa　est/；　and　departed；　leaving　her　so　sanctified　that　the

wrath　of　heaven　would　have　great　difficulty　in　discovering　a