mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-第30章
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P。 S。…I am hurrying them off to you because I dasn't read them
again！ I should blush to my heels to fill up with this unearned
gratitude again； pouring out of the thankful hearts of those poor
swindled people who do not suspect you； but honestly believe I gave
that money。
Mr。 Rogers hastily replied：
MY DEAR CLEMENS； The letters are lovely。 Don't breathe。 They are
so happy！ It would be a crime to let them think that you have in
any way deceived them。 I can keep still。 You must。 I am sending
you all traces of the crime； so that you may look innocent and tell
the truth； as you usually do when you think you can escape
detection。 Don't get rattled。
Seriously。 You have done a kindness。 You are proud of it； I know。
You have made your friends happy； and you ought to be so glad as to
cheerfully accept reproof from your conscience。 Joe Wadsworth and I
once stole a goose and gave it to a poor widow as a Christmas
present。 No crime in that。 I always put my counterfeit money on
the plate。 〃The passer of the sasser〃 always smiles at me and I get
credit for doing generous things。 But seriously again； if you do
feel a little uncomfortable wait until I see you before you tell
anybody。 Avoid cultivating misery。 I am trying to loaf ten solid
days。 We do hope to see you soon。
The secret was kept； and the matter presently （and characteristically）
passed out of Clemens's mind altogether。 He never remembered to tell
Twichell； and it is revealed here； according to his wish。
The Russian…Japanese war was in progress that summer； and its settlement
occurred in August。 The terms of it did not please Mark Twain。 When a
newspaper correspondent asked him for an expression of opinion on the
subject he wrote：
Russia was on the highroad to emancipation from an insane and
intolerable slavery。 I was hoping there would be no peace until
Russian liberty was safe。 I think that this was a holy war； in the
best and noblest sense of that abused term； and that no war was ever
charged with a higher mission。
I think there can be no doubt that that mission is now defeated and
Russia's chain riveted； this time to stay。 I think the Tsar will
now withdraw the small humanities that have been forced from him；
and resume his medieval barbarisms with a relieved spirit and an
immeasurable joy。 I think Russian liberty has had its last chance
and has lost it。
I think nothing has been gained by the peace that is remotely
comparable to what has been sacrificed by it。 One more battle would
have abolished the waiting chains of billions upon billions of
unborn Russians； and I wish it could have been fought。 I hope I am
mistaken； yet in all sincerity I believe that this peace is entitled
to rank as the most conspicuous disaster in political history。
It was the wisest public utterance on the subjectthe deep； resonant
note of truth sounding amid a clamor of foolish joy…bells。 It was the
message of a seerthe prophecy of a sage who sees with the clairvoyance
of knowledge and human understanding。 Clemens； a few days later； was
invited by Colonel Harvey to dine with Baron Rosen and M。 Sergius Witte；
but an attack of his old maladyrheumatismprevented his acceptance。
His telegram of declination apparently pleased the Russian officials； for
Witte asked permission to publish it； and declared that he was going to
take it home to show to the Tsar。 It was as follows：
To COLONEL HARVEY；I am still a cripple； otherwise I should be more than
glad of this opportunity to meet the illustrious magicians who came here
equipped with nothing but a pen； & with it have divided the honors of the
war with the sword。 It is fair to presume that in thirty centuries
history will not get done in admiring these men who attempted what the
world regarded as the impossible & achieved it。
MARK TWAIN。
But this was a modified form。 His original draft would perhaps have been
less gratifying to that Russian embassy。 It read：
To COLONEL HARVEY；I am still a cripple； otherwise I should be more
than glad of this opportunity to meet those illustrious magicians
who with the pen have annulled； obliterated； & abolished every high
achievement of the Japanese sword and turned the tragedy of a
tremendous war into a gay & blithesome comedy。 If I may； let me in
all respect and honor salute them as my fellow…humorists； I taking
third place； as becomes one who was not born to modesty； but by
diligence & hard work is acquiring it。
MARK。
There was still another form； brief and expressive：
DEAR COLONEL； No； this is a love…feast； when you call a lodge of sorrow
send for me。 MARK。
Clemens's war sentiment was given the widest newspaper circulation； and
brought him many letters； most of them applauding his words。 Charles
Francis Adams wrote him：
It attracted my attention because it so exactly expresses the views
I have myself all along entertained。
And this was the gist of most of the expressed sentiments which came to
him。
Clemens wrote a number of things that summer； among them a little essay
entitled； 〃The Privilege of the Grave〃that is to say； free speech。
He was looking forward； he said； to the time when he should inherit that
privilege； when some of the things he had said； written and laid away；
could be published without damage to his friends or family。 An article
entitled； 〃Interpreting the Deity；〃 he counted as among the things to be
uttered when he had entered into that last great privilege。 It is an
article on the reading of signs and auguries in all ages to discover the
intentions of the Almighty； with historical examples of God's judgments
and vindications。 Here is a fair specimen。 It refers to the chronicle
of Henry Huntington：
All through this book Henry exhibits his familiarity with the
intentions of God and with the reasons for the intentions。
Sometimes very often； in factthe act follows the intention after
such a wide interval of time that one wonders how Henry could fit
one act out of a hundred to one intention； and get the thing right
every time； when there was such abundant choice among acts and
intentions。 Sometimes a man offends the Deity with a crime； and is
punished for it thirty years later； meantime he has committed a
million other crimes： no matter； Henry can pick out the one that
brought the worms。 Worms were generally used in those days for the
slaying of particularly wicked people。 This has gone out now； but
in the old times it was a favorite。 It always indicated a case of
〃wrath。〃 For instance：
〃The just God avenging Robert Fitzhildebrand's perfidity； a worm
grew in his vitals which； gradually gnawing its way through his
intestines； fattened on the abandoned man till； tortured with
excruciating sufferings and venting himself in bitter moans； he was
by a fitting punishment brought to his end〃 （p。 400）。
It was probably an alligator； but we cannot tell； we only know it
was a particular breed； and only used to convey wrath。 Some
authorities think it was an ichthyosaurus； but there is much doubt。
The entire article is in this amusing； satirical strain； and might well
enough be printed to…day。 It is not altogether clear why it was
withheld； even then。
He finished his Eve's Diary that summer； and wrote a story which was
originally planned to oblige Mrs。 Minnie Maddern Fiske； to aid her in a
crusade against bullfighting in Spain。 Mrs。 Fiske wrote him that she had
read his dog story； written against the cruelties of vivisection； and
urged him to do something to save the horses that； after faithful
service； were sacrificed in the bull…ring。 Her letter closed：
I have lain awake nights very often wondering if I dare ask you to
