mark twain, a biography, 1900-1907-第13章
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that when the chief officer approached the poker…table and told them they
were about to enter some important port he received peremptory orders to
〃sail on and not interrupt the game。〃 This； however； may be regarded as
more or less founded on fiction。
CCXX
MARK TWAIN AND THE PHILIPPINES
Among the completed manuscripts of the early part of 1902 was a North
American Review article （published in April）〃Does the Race of Man Love
a Lord？〃a most interesting treatise on snobbery as a universal
weakness。 There were also some papers on the Philippine situation。 In
one of these Clemens wrote：
We have bought some islands from a party who did not own them； with
real smartness and a good counterfeit of disinterested friendliness
we coaxed a confiding weak nation into a trap and closed it upon
them； we went back on an honored guest of the Stars and Stripes when
we had no further use for him and chased him to the mountains； we
are as indisputably in possession of a wide…spreading archipelago as
if it were our property； we have pacified some thousands of the
islanders and buried them； destroyed their fields； burned their
villages； and turned their widows and orphans out…of…doors；
furnished heartbreak by exile to some dozens of disagreeable
patriots； subjugated the remaining ten millions by Benevolent
Assimilation； which is the pious new name of the musket； we have
acquired property in the three hundred concubines and other slaves
of our business partner； the Sultan of Sulu； and hoisted our
protecting flag over that swag。
And so； by these Providences of Godthe phrase is the government's；
not minewe are a World Power； and are glad and proud； and have a
back seat in the family。 With tacks in it。 At least we are letting
on to be glad and proud； it is the best way。 Indeed； it is the only
way。 We must maintain our dignity； for people are looking。 We are
a World Power； we cannot get out of it now； and we must make the
best of it。
And again he wrote：
I am not finding fault with this use of our flag； for in order not
to seem eccentric I have swung around now and joined the nation in
the conviction that nothing can sully a flag。 I was not properly
reared； and had the illusion that a flag was a thing which must be
sacredly guarded against shameful uses and unclean contacts lest it
suffer pollution； and so when it was sent out to the Philippines to
float over a wanton war and a robbing expedition I supposed it was
polluted； and in an ignorant moment I said so。 But I stand
corrected。 I concede and acknowledge that it was only the
government that sent it on such an errand that was polluted。 Let us
compromise on that。 I am glad to have it that way。 For our flag
could not well stand pollution； never having been used to it； but it
is different with the administration。
But a much more conspicuous comment on the Philippine policy was the so…
called 〃Defense of General Funston〃 for what Funston himself referred to
as a 〃dirty Irish trick〃； that is to say； deception in the capture of
Aguinaldo。 Clemens； who found it hard enough to reconcile himself to…
any form of warfare； was especially bitter concerning this particular
campaign。 The article appeared in the North American Review for May；
1902； and stirred up a good deal of a storm。 He wrote much more on the
subjectvery much morebut it is still unpublished。
CCXXI
THE RETURN OF THE NATIVE
One day in April； 1902； Samuel Clemens received the following letter from
the president of the University of Missouri：
MY DEAR MR。 CLEMENS； Although you received the degree of doctor of
literature last fall from Yale； and have had other honors conferred upon
you by other great universities； we want to adopt you here as a son of
the University of Missouri。 In asking your permission to confer upon you
the degree of LL。D。 the University of Missouri does not aim to confer an
honor upon you so much as to show her appreciation of you。 The rules of
the University forbid us to confer the degree upon any one in absentia。
I hope very much that you can so arrange your plans as to be with us on
the fourth day of next June； when we shall hold our Annual Commencement。
Very truly yours；
R。 H。 JESSE。
Clemens had not expected to make another trip to the West； but a
proffered honor such as this from one's native State was not a thing to
be declined。
It was at the end of May when he arrived in St。 Louis； and he was met at
the train there by his old river instructor and friend； Horace Bixbyas
fresh； wiry； and capable as he had been forty…five years before。
〃I have become an old man。 You are still thirty…five；〃 Clemens said。
They went to the Planters Hotel； and the news presently got around that
Mark Twain was there。 There followed a sort of reception in the hotel
lobby； after which Bixby took him across to the rooms of the Pilots
Association； where the rivermen gathered in force to celebrate his
return。 A few of his old comrades were still alive； among them Beck
Jolly。 The same afternoon he took the train for Hannibal。
It was a busy five days that he had in Hannibal。 High…school
commencement day came first。 He attended； and willingly； or at least
patiently； sat through the various recitals and orations and
orchestrations； dreaming and remembering； no doubt； other high…school
commencements of more than half a century before； seeing in some of those
young people the boys and girls he had known in that vanished time。 A
few friends of his youth were still there； but they were among the
audience now； and no longer fresh and looking into the future。 Their
heads were white； and； like him； they were looking down the recorded
years。 Laura Hawkins was there and Helen Kercheval （Mrs。 Frazer and Mrs。
Garth now）； and there were others； but they were few and scattering。
He was added to the program； and he made himself as one of the graduates；
and told them some things of the young people of that earlier time that
brought their laughter and their tears。
He was asked to distribute the diplomas； and he undertook the work in his
own way。 He took an armful of them and said to the graduates：
〃Take one。 Pick out a good one。 Don't take two； but be sure you get a
good one。〃
So each took one 〃unsight and unseen〃 aid made the more exact
distributions among themselves later。
Next morning it was Saturdayhe visited the old home on Hill Street； and
stood in the doorway all dressed in white while a battalion of
photographers made pictures of 〃this return of the native〃 to the
threshold of his youth。
〃It all seems so small to me；〃 he said； as he looked through the house；
〃a boy's home is a big place to him。 I suppose if I should come back
again ten years from now it would be the size of a birdhouse。〃
He went through the rooms and up…stairs where he had slept and looked out
the window down in the back yard where； nearly sixty years before； Tom
Sawyer； Huck Finn； Joe Harper； and the restthat is to say； Tom
Blankenship； John Briggs； Will Pitts； and the Bowen boysset out on
their nightly escapades。 Of that lightsome band Will Pitts and John
Briggs still remained； with half a dozen othersschoolmates of the less
adventurous sort。 Buck Brown； who had been his rival in the spelling
contests； was still there； and John Robards； who had worn golden curls
and the medal for good conduct； and Ed Pierce。 And while these were
assembled in a little group on the pavement outside the home a small old
man came up and put out his hand； and it was Jimmy MacDaniel； to whom so
long before； sitting on the river…bank and eating gingerbread； he had
first told the story of Jim Wolfe and the cats。
They put him into a carriage； drove him far and wide； and showed the
hills and resorts and rendezvous of Tom Sawyer and his marauding band。
He was entertained that evening by the Labinnah Club （whose name was
achieved by a backward spelling of Hannib
