the notch on the ax and on being found out-第4章
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primed and loaded for a swoon; and ready to go off with hair…
triggers。 The two elder detached the Odd Girl on all expeditions
that were considered doubly hazardous; and she always established
the reputation of such adventures by coming back cataleptic。 If
Cook or Streaker went overhead after dark; we knew we should
presently hear a bump on the ceiling; and this took place so
constantly; that it was as if a fighting man were engaged to go
about the house; administering a touch of his art which I believe
is called The Auctioneer; to every domestic he met with。
It was in vain to do anything。 It was in vain to be frightened;
for the moment in one's own person; by a real owl; and then to show
the owl。 It was in vain to discover; by striking an accidental
discord on the piano; that Turk always howled at particular notes
and combinations。 It was in vain to be a Rhadamanthus with the
bells; and if an unfortunate bell rang without leave; to have it
down inexorably and silence it。 It was in vain to fire up
chimneys; let torches down the well; charge furiously into
suspected rooms and recesses。 We changed servants; and it was no
better。 The new set ran away; and a third set came; and it was no
better。 At last; our comfortable housekeeping got to be so
disorganised and wretched; that I one night dejectedly said to my
sister: 〃Patty; I begin to despair of our getting people to go on
with us here; and I think we must give this up。〃
My sister; who is a woman of immense spirit; replied; 〃No; John;
don't give it up。 Don't be beaten; John。 There is another way。〃
〃And what is that?〃 said I。
〃John;〃 returned my sister; 〃if we are not to be driven out of this
house; and that for no reason whatever; that is apparent to you or
me; we must help ourselves and take the house wholly and solely
into our own hands。〃
〃But; the servants;〃 said I。
〃Have no servants;〃 said my sister; boldly。
Like most people in my grade of life; I had never thought of the
possibility of going on without those faithful obstructions。 The
notion was so new to me when suggested; that I looked very
doubtful。
〃We know they come here to be frightened and infect one another;
and we know they are frightened and do infect one another;〃 said my
sister。
〃With the exception of Bottles;〃 I observed; in a meditative tone。
(The deaf stable…man。 I kept him in my service; and still keep
him; as a phenomenon of moroseness not to be matched in England。)
〃To be sure; John;〃 assented my sister; 〃except Bottles。 And what
does that go to prove? Bottles talks to nobody; and hears nobody
unless he is absolutely roared at; and what alarm has Bottles ever
given; or taken? None。〃
This was perfectly true; the individual in question having retired;
every night at ten o'clock; to his bed over the coach…house; with
no other company than a pitchfork and a pail of water。 That the
pail of water would have been over me; and the pitchfork through
me; if I had put myself without announcement in Bottles's way after
that minute; I had deposited in my own mind as a fact worth
remembering。 Neither had Bottles ever taken the least notice of
any of our many uproars。 An imperturbable and speechless man; he
had sat at his supper; with Streaker present in a swoon; and the
Odd Girl marble; and had only put another potato in his cheek; or
profited by the general misery to help himself to beefsteak pie。
〃And so;〃 continued my sister; 〃I exempt Bottles。 And considering;
John; that the house is too large; and perhaps too lonely; to be
kept well in hand by Bottles; you; and me; I propose that we cast
about among our friends for a certain selected number of the most
reliable and willingform a Society here for three monthswait
upon ourselves and one anotherlive cheerfully and sociallyand
see what happens。〃
I was so charmed with my sister; that I embraced her on the spot;
and went into her plan with the greatest ardor。
We were then in the third week of November; but; we took our
measures so vigorously; and were so well seconded by the friends in
whom we confided; that there was still a week of the month
unexpired; when our party all came down together merrily; and
mustered in the haunted house。
I will mention; in this place; two small changes that I made while
my sister and I were yet alone。 It occurring to me as not
improbable that Turk howled in the house at night; partly because
he wanted to get out of it; I stationed him in his kennel outside;
but unchained; and I seriously warned the village that any man who
came in his way must not expect to leave him without a rip in his
own throat。 I then casually asked Ikey if he were a judge of a
gun? On his saying; 〃Yes; sir; I knows a good gun when I sees
her;〃 I begged the favor of his stepping up to the house and
looking at mine。
〃SHE'S a true one; sir;〃 said Ikey; after inspecting a double…
barrelled rifle that I bought in New York a few years ago。 〃No
mistake about HER; sir。〃
〃Ikey;〃 said I; 〃don't mention it; I have seen something in this
house。〃
〃No; sir?〃 he whispered; greedily opening his eyes。 〃'Ooded lady;
sir?〃
〃Don't be frightened;〃 said I。 〃It was a figure rather like you。〃
〃Lord; sir?〃
〃Ikey!〃 said I; shaking hands with him warmly; I may say
affectionately; 〃if there is any truth in these ghost…stories; the
greatest service I can do you; is; to fire at that figure。 And I
promise you; by Heaven and earth; I will do it with this gun if I
see it again!〃
The young man thanked me; and took his leave with some little
precipitation; after declining a glass of liquor。 I imparted my
secret to him; because I had never quite forgotten his throwing his
cap at the bell; because I had; on another occasion; noticed
something very like a fur cap; lying not far from the bell; one
night when it had burst out ringing; and because I had remarked
that we were at our ghostliest whenever he came up in the evening
to comfort the servants。 Let me do Ikey no injustice。 He was
afraid of the house; and believed in its being haunted; and yet he
would play false on the haunting side; so surely as he got an
opportunity。 The Odd Girl's case was exactly similar。 She went
about the house in a state of real terror; and yet lied monstrously
and wilfully; and invented many of the alarms she spread; and made
many of the sounds we heard。 I had had my eye on the two; and I
know it。 It is not necessary for me; here; to account for this
preposterous state of mind; I content myself with remarking that it
is familiarly known to every intelligent man who has had fair
medical; legal; or other watchful experience; that it is as well
established and as common a state of mind as any with which
observers are acquainted; and that it is one of the first elements;
above all others; rationally to be suspected in; and strictly
looked for; and separated from; any question of this kind。
To return to our party。 The first thing we did when we were all
assembled; was; to draw lots for bedrooms。 That done; and every
bedroom; and; indeed; the whole house; having been minutely
examined by the whole body; we allotted the various household
duties; as if we had been on a gipsy party; or a yachting party; or
a hunting party; or were shipwrecked。 I then recounted the
floating rumors concerning the hooded lady; the owl; and Master B。:
with others; still more filmy; which had floated about during our
occupation; relative to some ridiculous old ghost of the female
gender who went up and down; carrying the ghost of a round table;
and also to an impalpable Jackass; whom nobody was ever able to
catch。 Some of these ideas I really believe our people below had
communicated to one another in some diseased way; without conveying
them in words。 We then gravely called one another to witness; that
we were not there to be deceived; or to deceivewhich we
considered pretty much the same thingand that; with a serious
sense of responsibility; we would be strictly true to one another;
and would strictly follow out the truth。 The understanding was
established; that any one who heard unusual noises in the night;
and who wished to trace them; should