anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第27章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


was　wholly　indifferent　with　regard　to　such　trivial　emoluments。　　You　had　better　ask　for　it　at　once；　and　so　take　your　trifles　with　content。'　　'Oh；　sir！'　replies　the　visitor；　'my　master　bid　me　have　as　much　as　I　pleased；　and　was　half　angry　when　I　talked　to　him　about　it。'　　'Then　pray；　sir；'　said　I；　'tease　me　no　more　about　such　airy　nothings；'　and　was　going　on　to　be　very　angry；　when　I　recollected　that　the　fellow　might　be　mad；　perhaps；　so　I　asked　him；　'When　he　left　the　counting…house　of　an　evening？'　　'At　seven　o'clock；　sir。'　　'And　when　do　you　go　to　bed；　sir？'　　'At　twelve　o'clock。'　　'Then；'　replied　I；　'I　have　at　least　learnt　thus　much　by　my　new　acquaintancethat　five　hours　of　the　four…and…twenty　unemployed　are　enough　for　a　man　to　go　mad　in；　so　I　would　advise　you；　sir；　to　study　algebra；　if　you　are　not　an　adept　already　in　it。　Your　head　would　get　less　MUDDY；　and　you　will　leave　off　tormenting　your　neighbours　about　paper　and　packthread；　while　we　all　live　together　in　a　world　that　is　bursting　with　sin　and　sorrow。'　　It　is　perhaps　needless　to　add　that　this　visitor　came　no　more。〃

Mr。　Johnson　had；　indeed；　a　real　abhorrence　of　a　person　that　had　ever　before　him　treated　a　little　thing　like　a　great　one；　and　he　quoted　this　scrupulous　gentleman　with　his　packthread　very　often；　in　ridicule　of　a　friend　who；　looking　out　on　Streatham　Common　from　our　windows；　one　day；　lamented　the　enormous　wickedness　of　the　times　because　some　bird…catchers　were　busy　there　one　fine　Sunday　morning。　　〃While　half　the　Christian　world　is　permitted；〃　said　he；　〃to　dance　and　sing　and　celebrate　Sunday　as　a　day　of　festivity；　how　comes　your　Puritanical　spirit　so　offended　with　frivolous　and　empty　deviations　from　exactness？　　Whoever　loads　life　with　unnecessary　scruples；　sir；〃　continued　he；　〃provokes　the　attention　of　others　on　his　conduct；　and　incurs　the　censure　of　singularity　without　reaping　the　reward　of　superior　virtue。〃

I　must　not；　among　the　anecdotes　of　Dr。　Johnson's　life；　omit　to　relate　a　thing　that　happened　to　him　one　day；　which　he　told　me　of　himself。　　As　he　was　walking　along　the　Strand　a　gentleman　stepped　out　of　some　neighbouring　tavern；　with　his　napkin　in　his　hand；　and　no　hat；　and　stopping　him　as　civily　as　he　could；　〃I　beg　your　pardon；　sir；　but　you　are　Dr。　Johnson；　I　believe？〃　〃　Yes；　sir。〃　　〃We　have　a　wager　depending　on　your　reply。　　Pray；　sir；　is　it　irr_e_parable　or　irrep_air_able　that　one　should　say？〃　　〃The　LAST；　I　think；　sir；〃　answered　Dr。　Johnson；　〃for　the　adverb　ought　to　follow　the　verb；　but　you　had　better　consult　my　'Dictionary'　than　me；　for　that　was　the　result　of　more　thought　than　you　will　now　give　me　time　for。〃　　〃No；　no；〃　replied　the　gentleman；　gaily；　〃the　book　I　have　no　certainty　at　all　of；　but　here　is　the　AUTHOR；　to　whom　I　referred。　　Is　he　not；　sir？〃to　a　friend　with　him。　　〃I　have　won　my　twenty　guineas　quite　fairly；　and　am　much　obliged　to　you；　sir；〃　and　so　shaking　Mr。　Johnson　kindly　by　the　hand；　he　went　back　to　finish　his　dinner　or　dessert。

Another　strange　thing　he　told　me　once　which　there　was　no　danger　of　forgetting；　how　a　young　gentleman　called　on　him　one　morning；　and　told　him　that　his　father　having；　just　before　his　death；　dropped　suddenly　into　the　enjoyment　of　an　ample　fortune；　he　（the　son）　was　willing　to　qualify　himself　for　genteel　society　by　adding　some　literature　to　his　other　endowments；　and　wished　to　be　put　in　an　easy　way　of　obtaining　it。　　Dr。　Johnson　recommended　the　university；　〃for　you　read　Latin；　sir；　with　FACILITY？〃　　〃　I　read　it　a　little；　to　be　sure；　sir。〃　　〃　But　do　you　read　it　WITH　FACILITY；　I　say？〃　〃Upon　my　word；　sir；　I　do　not　very　well　know；　but　I　rather　believe　not。〃　Mr。　Johnson　now　began　to　recommend　other　branches　of　science；　when　he　found　languages　at　such　an　immeasurable　distance；　and　advising　him　to　study　natural　history；　there　arose　some　talk　about　animals；　and　their　divisions　into　oviparous　and　viviparous。　　〃And　the　cat　here；　sir；〃　said　the　youth；　who　wished　for　instruction；　〃pray　in　what　class　is　she？〃　　Our　Doctor's　patience　and　desire　of　doing　good　began　now　to　give　way　to　the　natural　roughness　of　his　temper。　　〃You　would　do　well；〃　said　he；　〃to　look　for　some　person　to　be　always　about　you；　sir；　who　is　capable　of　explaining　such　matters；　and　not　come　to　us〃there　were　some　literary　friends　present；　as　I　recollect〃to　know　whether　the　cat　lays　eggs　or　not。　　Get　a　discreet　man　to　keep　you　company：　　there　are　so　many　who　would　be　glad　of　your　table　and　fifty　pounds　a　year。〃　　The　young　gentleman　retired；　and　in　less　than　a　week　informed　his　friends　that　he　had　fixed　on　a　preceptor　to　whom　no　objections　could　be　made；　but　when　he　named　as　such　one　of　the　most　distinguished　characters　in　our　age　or　nation；　Mr。　Johnson　fairly　gave　himself　up　to　an　honest　burst　of　laughter；　and　seeing　this　youth　at　such　a　surprising　distance　from　common　knowledge　of　the　world；　or　of　anything　in　it；　desired　to　see　his　visitor　no　more。

He　had　not　much　better　luck　with　two　boys　that　he　used　to　tell　of；　to　whom　he　had　taught　the　classics；　〃so　that；〃　he　said；　〃they　were　no　incompetent　or　mean　scholars。〃　　It　was　necessary；　however；　that　something　more　familiar　should　be　known；　and　he　bid　them　read　the　History　of　England。　　After　a　few　months　had　elapsed　he　asked　them；　〃If　they　could　recollect　who　first　destroyed　the　monasteries　in　our　island？〃　　One　modestly　replied　that　he　did　not　know；　the　other　said　JESUS　CHRIST！

Of　the　truth　of　stories　which　ran　currently　about　the　town　concerning　Dr。　Johnson　it　was　impossible　to　be　certain；　unless　one　asked　him　himself；　and　what　he　told；　or　suffered　to　be　told；　before　his　face　without　contradicting；　has　every　public　mark；　I　think；　of　real　and　genuine　authenticity。　　I　made；　one　day；　very　minute　inquiries　about　the　tale　of　his　knocking　down　the　famous　Tom　Osborne　with　his　own　〃Dictionary〃　in　the　man's　own　house。　　〃And　how　was　that　affair？　　In　earnest？　　Do　tell　me；　Mr。　Johnson？〃　　〃There　is　nothing　to　tell；　dearest　lady；　but　that　he　was　insolent；　and　I　beat　him；　and　that　he　was　a　blockhead；　and　told　of　it；　which　I　should　never　have　done。　　So　the　blows　have　been　multiplying　and　the　wonder　thickening　for　all　these　years；　as　Thomas　was　never　a　favourite　with　the　public。　　I　have　beat　many　a　fellow；　but　the　rest　had　the　wit　to　hold　their　tongues。〃

I　have　heard　Mr。　Murphy　relate　a　very　singular　story；　while　he　was　present；　greatly　to　the　credit　of　his　uncommon　skill　and　knowledge　of　life　and　manners。　　When　first　the　〃Ramblers〃　came　out　in　separate　numbers；　as　they　were　the　objects　of　attention　to　multitudes　of　people；　they　happened；　as　it　seems；　particularly　to　attract　the　notice　of　a　society　who　met　every　Saturday　evening　during　the　summer　at　Romford　in　Essex；　and　were　known　by　the　name　of　the　Bowling…Green　Club。　　These　men　seeing　one　day　the　character　of　Leviculus；　the　fortune…hunter；　or　Tetrica；　the　old　maid：　　another　day　some　account　of　a　person　who　spent　his　life　in　hoping　for　a　legacy；　or　of　him　who　is　always　prying　into　other　folks'　affairs；　began　sure　enough　to　think　they　were　betrayed；　and　that　some　of　the　coterie　sate　down　to　divert　himself　by　giving　to　the　public　the　portrait　of　all　the　rest。　　Filled　with　wrath　against　the　traitor　of　Romford；　one　of　them　resolved　to　write　to　the　printer；　and　inquire　the　author's　name。　　Samuel　Johnson；　was　the　reply。　　No　more　was　necessary；　Samuel　Johnson　was　the　name　of　the　curate；　and　soon　did　each　begin　to　load　him　with　reproaches　for　turning　his　friends　into　ridicule　in　a　manner　so　cruel　and　unprovoked。　　In　vain　did　the　guiltless　curate　protest　his　innocence；　one　was　sure　that　Aligu　meant　Mr。　Twigg；　and　that　Cupidus　was　but　another　name　for　neighbour　Baggs；　till　the　poor　parson；　unable　to　contend　any　longer；　rode　to　London；　and　brought　them　full　satisfaction　concerning　the　writer；　who；　from　his　own　knowledge　of　general　manners；　quickened　by　a　vigorous　and　warm　imagination；　had　happily　delineated；　though　unknown　to　himself；　the　members　of　the　Bowling…Green　Club。

Mr。　Murphy　likewise　used　to　tell　before　Dr。　Johnson；　of　the　first　time　THEY　met；　and　the　occasion　of　their　meeting；　which　he　related　thus。　　That　being　in　those　days　engaged　in　a　periodical　paper；　he　found　himself　at　a　friend's　house　out　of　town；　and　not　being　disposed　to　lose　pleasure　for　the　sake　of　business；　wished　rather　to　content　his　bo