anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第24章
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No man but Shakespeare；〃 he said； 〃could have drawn Sir John。〃
His manner of criticising and commending Addison's prose was the same in conversation as we read it in the printed strictures； and many of the expressions used have been heard to fall from him on common occasions。 It was notwithstanding observable enough （or I fancied so） that he did never like； though he always thought fit to praise it； and his praises resembled those of a man who extols the superior elegance of high painted porcelain； while he himself always chooses to eat off PLATE。 I told him so one day； and he neither denied it nor appeared displeased。
Of the pathetic in poetry he never liked to speak； and the only passage I ever heard him applaud as particularly tender in any common book was Jane Shore's exclamation in the last act
〃Forgive me！ BUT forgive me！〃
It was not； however； from the want of a susceptible heart that he hated to cite tender expressions； for he was more strongly and more violently affected by the force of words representing ideas capable of affecting him at all than any other man in the world； I believe： and when he would try to repeat the celebrated Prosa Ecclesiastica pro Mortuis； as it is called； beginning 〃Dies irae； Dies illa；〃 he could never pass the stanza ending thus； 〃Tantus labor non sit cassus；〃 without bursting into a flood of tears； which sensibility I used to quote against him when he would inveigh against devotional poetry； and protest that all religious verses were cold and feeble； and unworthy the subject； which ought to be treated with higher reverence； he said； than either poets or painters could presume to excite or bestow。 Nor can anything be a stronger proof of Dr。 Johnson's piety than such an expression； for his idea of poetry was magnificent indeed； and very fully was he persuaded of its superiority over every other talent bestowed by heaven on man。 His chapter upon that particular subject in his 〃Rasselas〃 is really written from the fulness of his heart； and quite in his best manner； I think。 I am not so sure that this is the proper place to mention his writing that surprising little volume in a week or ten days' time； in order to obtain money for his journey to Lichfield when his mother lay upon her last sick…bed。
Promptitude of thought； indeed； and quickness of expression； were among the peculiar felicities of Johnson； his notions rose up like the dragon's teeth sowed by Cadmus all ready clothed； and in bright armour too； fit for immediate battle。 He was therefore （as somebody is said to have expressed it） a tremendous converser； and few people ventured to try their skill against an antagonist with whom contention was so hopeless。 One gentleman； however； who dined at a nobleman's house in his company； and that of Mr。 Thrale； to whom I was obliged for the anecdote； was willing to enter the lists in defence of King William's character； and having opposed and contradicted Johnson two or three times petulantly enough； the master of the house began to feel uneasy； and expect disagreeable consequences； to avoid which he said； loud enough for the Doctor to hear； 〃Our friend here has no meaning now in all this； except just to relate at club to…morrow how he teased Johnson at dinner to…daythis is all to do himself HONOUR。〃 〃No； upon my word；〃 replied the other； 〃I see no HONOUR in it； whatever you may do。〃 〃Well； sir！〃 returned Mr。 Johnson； sternly； 〃if you do not SEE the HONOUR； I am sure I FEEL the DISGRACE。〃
A young fellow； less confident of his own abilities； lamenting one day that he had lost all his Greek〃I believe it happened at the same time； sir；〃 said Johnson； 〃that I lost all my large estate in Yorkshire。〃
But however roughly he might be suddenly provoked to treat a harmless exertion of vanity； he did not wish to inflict the pain he gave； and was sometimes very sorry when he perceived the people to smart more than they deserved。 〃How harshly you treated that man today；〃 said I once； 〃who harangued us so about gardening。〃 〃I am sorry；〃 said he； 〃if I vexed the creature； for there is certainly no harm in a fellow's rattling a rattle…box； only don't let him think that he thunders。〃 The Lincolnshire lady who showed him a grotto she had been making； came off no better； as I remember。 〃Would it not be a pretty cool habitation in summer；〃 said she； 〃Mr。 Johnson？〃 〃I think it would； madam；〃 replied he； 〃for a toad。〃
All desire of distinction； indeed； had a sure enemy in Mr。 Johnson。 We met a friend driving six very small ponies； and stopped to admire them。 〃Why does nobody；〃 said our Doctor； 〃begin the fashion of driving six spavined horses； all spavined of the same leg？ It would have a mighty pretty effect； and produce the distinction of doing something worse than the common way。〃
When Mr。 Johnson had a mind to compliment any one he did it with more dignity to himself； and better effect upon the company； than any man。 I can recollect but few instances； indeed； though perhaps that may be more my fault than his。 When Sir Joshua Reynolds left the room one day； he said； 〃There goes a man not to be spoilt by prosperity。〃 And when Mrs。 Montague showed him some China plates which had once belonged to Queen Elizabeth； he told her 〃that they had no reason to be ashamed of their present possessor； who was so little inferior to the first。〃 I likewise remember that he pronounced one day at my house a most lofty panegyric upon Jones the Orientalist； who seemed little pleased with the praise； for what cause I know not。 He was not at all offended when； comparing all our acquaintance to some animal or other； we pitched upon the elephant for his resemblance； adding that the proboscis of that creature was like his mind most exactly； strong to buffet even the tiger； and pliable to pick up even the pin。 The truth is； Mr。 Johnson was often good humouredly willing to join in childish amusements； and hated to be left out of any innocent merriment that was going forward。 Mr。 Murphy always said he was incomparable at buffoonery； and I verily think； if he had had good eyes； and a form less inflexible； he would have made an admirable mimic。
He certainly rode on Mr。 Thrale's old hunter with a good firmness； and though he would follow the hounds fifty miles on end sometimes； would never own himself either tired or amused。 〃I have now learned；〃 said he； 〃by hunting； to perceive that it is no diversion at all； nor ever takes a man out of himself for a moment： the dogs have less sagacity than I could have prevailed on myself to suppose； and the gentlemen often call to me not to ride over them。 It is very strange； and very melancholy； that the paucity of human pleasure should persuade us ever to call hunting one of them。〃 He was； however； proud to be amongst the sportsmen； and I think no praise ever went so close to his heart as when Mr。 Hamilton called out one day upon Brighthelmstone Downs； 〃Why； Johnson rides as well； for aught I see； as the most illiterate fellow in England。〃
Though Dr。 Johnson owed his very life to air and exercise； given him when his organs of respiration could scarcely play； in the year 1766； yet he ever persisted in the notion that neither of them had anything to do with health。 〃People live as long；〃 said he； 〃in Pepper Alley as on Salisbury Plain； and they live so much happier； that an inhabitant of the first would； if he turned cottager； starve his understanding for want of conversation； and perish in a state of mental inferiority。〃
Mr。 Johnson； indeed； as he was a very talking man himself； had an idea that nothing promoted happiness so much as conversation。 A friend's erudition was commended one day as equally deep and strong。 〃He will not talk； sir；〃 was the reply； 〃so his learning does no good； and his wit； if he has it； gives us no pleasure。 Out of all his boasted stores I never heard him force but one word； and that word was RICHARD。〃 With a contempt not inferior he received the praises of a pretty lady's face and behaviour。 〃She says nothing； sir；〃 answers Johnson； 〃a talking blackamoor were better than a white creature who adds nothing to life； and by sitting down before one thus desperately silent； takes away the confidence one should have in the c
