anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第17章

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ve　eyes；　　　　　　　　　That　saw　the　manners　in　the　face。〃

Mr。　Hogarth；　among　the　variety　of　kindnesses　shown　to　me　when　I　was　too　young　to　have　a　proper　sense　of　them；　was　used　to　be　very　earnest　that　I　should　obtain　the　acquaintance；　and　if　possible　the　friendship；　of　Dr。　Johnson；　whose　conversation　was；　to　the　talk　of　other　men；　〃like　Titian's　painting　compared　to　Hudson's；〃　he　said：　　〃but　don't　you　tell　people；　now；　that　I　say　so；〃　continued　he；　〃for　the　connoisseurs　and　I　are　at　war；　you　know；　and　because　I　hate　THEM；　they　think　I　hate　TITIANand　let　them！〃　Many　were　indeed　the　lectures　I　used　to　have　in　my　very　early　days　from　dear　Mr。　Hogarth；　whose　regard　for　my　father　induced　him；　perhaps；　to　take　notice　of　his　little　girl；　and　give　her　some　odd　particular　directions　about　dress；　dancing；　and　many　other　matters；　interesting　now　only　because　they　were　his。　　As　he　made　all　his　talents；　however；　subservient　to　the　great　purposes　of　morality；　and　the　earnest　desire　he　had　to　mend　mankind；　his　discourse　commonly　ended　in　an　ethical　dissertation；　and　a　serious　charge　to　me；　never　to　forget　his　picture　of　the　〃Lady's　last　Stake。〃　　Of　Dr。　Johnson；　when　my　father　and　he　were　talking　together　about　him　one　day；　〃That　man；〃　says　Hogarth；　〃is　not　contented　with　believing　the　Bible；　but　he　fairly　resolves；　I　think；　to　believe　nothing　BUT　the　Bible。　　Johnson；〃　added　he；　〃though　so　wise　a　fellow；　is　more　like　King　David　than　King　Solomon；　for　he　says　in　his　haste　that　'all　men　are　liars。'〃　　This　charge；　as　I　afterwards　came　to　know；　was　but　too　well　founded。　　Mr。　Johnson's　incredulity　amounted　almost　to　disease；　and　I　have　seen　it　mortify　his　companions　exceedingly。　　But　the　truth　is；　Mr。　Thrale　had　a　very　powerful　influence　over　the　Doctor；　and　could　make　him　suppress　many　rough　answers。　He　could　likewise　prevail　on　him　to　change　his　shirt；　his　coat；　or　his　plate；　almost　before　it　came　indispensably　necessary　to　the　comfort　of　his　friends。　　But　as　I　never　had　any　ascendency　at　all　over　Mr。　Johnson；　except　just　in　the　things　that　concerned　his　health；　it　grew　extremely　perplexing　and　difficult　to　live　in　the　house　with　him　when　the　master　of　it　was　no　more；　the　worse；　indeed；　because　his　dislikes　grew　capricious；　and　he　could　scarce　bear　to　have　anybody　come　to　the　house　whom　it　was　absolutely　necessary　for　me　to　see。　　Two　gentlemen；　I　perfectly　well　remember；　dining　with　us　at　Streatham　in　the　summer；　1782；　when　Elliot's　brave　defence　of　Gibraltar　was　a　subject　of　common　discourse；　one　of　these　men　naturally　enough　began　some　talk　about　red…hot　balls　thrown　with　surprising　dexterity　and　effect；　which　Dr。　Johnson　having　listened　some　time　to；　〃I　would　advise　you；　sir；〃　said　he；　with　a　cold　sneer；　〃never　to　relate　this　story　again；　you　really　can　scarce　imagine　how　VERY　POOR　a　figure　you　make　in　the　telling　of　it。〃　　Our　guest　being　bred　a　Quaker；　and；　I　believe；　a　man　of　an　extremely　gentle　disposition；　needed　no　more　reproofs　for　the　same　folly；　so　if　he　ever　did　speak　again；　it　was　in　a　low　voice　to　the　friend　who　came　with　him。　　The　check　was　given　before　dinner；　and　after　coffee　I　left　the　room。　　When　in　the　evening；　however；　our　companions　were　returned　to　London；　and　Mr。　Johnson　and　myself　were　left　alone；　with　only　our　usual　family　about　us；　〃I　did　not　quarrel　with　those　Quaker　fellows；〃　said　he；　very　seriously。　　〃You　did　perfectly　right；〃　replied　I；　〃for　they　gave　you　no　cause　of　offence。〃　　〃No　offence！〃　　returned　he；　with　an　altered　voice；　〃and　is　it　nothing；　then；　to　sit　whispering　together　when　_I_　am　present；　without　ever　directing　their　discourse　towards　me；　or　offering　me　a　share　in　the　conversation？〃　　〃That　was　because　you　frighted　him　who　spoke　first　about　those　hot　balls。〃　　〃Why；　madam；　if　a　creature　is　neither　capable　of　giving　dignity　to　falsehood；　nor　willing　to　remain　contented　with　the　truth；　he　deserves　no　better　treatment。〃

Mr。　Johnson's　fixed　incredulity　of　everything　he　heard；　and　his　little　care　to　conceal　that　incredulity；　was　teasing　enough；　to　be　sure；　and　I　saw　Mr。　Sharp　was　pained　exceedingly　when　relating　the　history　of　a　hurricane　that　happened　about　that　time　in　the　West　Indies；　where；　for　aught　I　know；　he　had　himself　lost　some　friends　too；　he　observed　Dr。　Johnson　believed　not　a　syllable　of　the　account。　　〃For　'tis　SO　easy；〃　says　he；　〃for　a　man　to　fill　his　mouth　with　a　wonder；　and　run　about　telling　the　lie　before　it　can　be　detected；　that　I　have　no　heart　to　believe　hurricanes　easily　raised　by　the　first　inventor；　and　blown　forwards　by　thousands　more。〃　　I　asked　him　once　if　he　believed　the　story　of　the　destruction　of　Lisbon　by　an　earthquake　when　it　first　happened。　　〃Oh！　not　for　six　months；〃　said　he；　〃at　least。　　I　DID　think　that　story　too　dreadful　to　be　credited；　and　can　hardly　yet　persuade　myself　that　it　was　true　to　the　full　extent　we　all　of　us　have　heard。〃

Among　the　numberless　people；　however；　whom　I　heard　him　grossly　and　flatly　contradict；　I　never　yet　saw　any　one　who　did　not　take　it　patiently　excepting　Dr。　Burney；　from　whose　habitual　softness　of　manners　I　little　expected　such　an　exertion　of　spirit；　the　event　was　as　little　to　be　expected。　　Mr。　Johnson　asked　his　pardon　generously　and　genteelly；　and　when　he　left　the　room；　rose　up　to　shake　hands　with　him；　that　they　might　part　in　peace。　　On　another　occasion；　when　he　had　violently　provoked　Mr。　Pepys；　in　a　different　but　perhaps　not　a　less　offensive　manner；　till　something　much　too　like　a　quarrel　was　grown　up　between　them；　the　moment　he　was　gone；　〃Now；〃　says　Dr。　Johnson；　〃is　Pepys　gone　home　hating　me；　who　love　him　better　than　I　did　before。　　He　spoke　in　defence　of　his　dead　friend；　but　though　I　hope　_I_　spoke　better　who　spoke　against　him；　yet　all　my　eloquence　will　gain　me　nothing　but　an　honest　man　for　my　enemy！〃　　He　did　not；　however；　cordially　love　Mr。　Pepys；　though　he　respected　his　abilities。　　〃I　know　the　dog　was　a　scholar；〃　said　he　when　they　had　been　disputing　about　the　classics　for　three　hours　together　one　morning　at　Streatham；　〃but　that　he　had　so　much　taste　and　so　much　knowledge　I　did　NOT　believe。　　I　might　have　taken　Barnard's　word　though；　for　Barnard　would　not　lie。〃

We　had　got　a　little　French　print　among　us　at　Brighthelmstone；　in　November；　1782；　of　some　people　skating；　with　these　lines　written　under：

　　　　　〃Sur　un　mince　chrystal　l'hyver　conduit　leurs　pas；　　　　　　　　　Le　precipice　est　sous　la　glace；　　　　　　　Telle　est　de　nos　plaisirs　la　legere　surface；　　　　　　　　　Glissez　mortels；　n'appayez　pas。〃

And　I　begged　translation　from　everybody。　　Dr。　Johnson　gave　me　this：

　　　　　〃O'er　ice　the　rapid　skater　flies；　　　　　　　　　With　sport　above　and　death　below；　　　　　　　Where　mischief　lurks　in　gay　disguise；　　　　　　　　　Thus　lightly　touch　and　quickly　go。〃

He　was；　however；　most　exceedingly　enraged　when　he　knew　that　in　the　course　of　the　season　I　had　asked　half…a…dozen　acquaintance　to　do　the　same　thing；　and　said；　〃it　was　a　piece　of　treachery；　and　done　to　make　everybody　else　look　little　when　compared　to　my　favourite　friends　the　PEPYSES；　whose　translations　were　unquestionably　the　best。〃　　I　will　insert　them；　because　he　DID　say　so。　　This　is　the　distich　given　me　by　Sir　Lucas；　to　whom　I　owe　more　solid　obligations；　no　less　than　the　power　of　thanking　him　for　the　life　he　saved；　and　whose　least　valuable　praise　is　the　correctness　of　his　taste：

　　　　　〃O'er　the　ice　as　o'er　pleasure　you　lightly　should　glide；　　　　　　　Both　have　gulfs　which　their　flattering　surfaces　hide。〃

This　other　more　serious　one　was　written　by　his　brother：

　　　　　〃Swift　o'er　the　level　how　the　skaters　slide；　　　　　　　　　And　skim　the　glitt'ring　surface　as　they　go：　　　　　　　Thus　o'er　life's　specious　pleasures　lightly　glide；　　　　　　　　　But　pause　not；　press　not　on　the　gulf　below。〃

Dr。　Johnson　seeing　this　last；　and　thinking　a　moment；　repeated：

　　　　　〃O'er　crackling　ice；　o'er　gulfs　profound；　　　　　　　　　With　nimble　glide　the　skaters　play；　　　　　　　O'er　treacherous　pleasure's　flow'ry　ground　　　　　　　　　Thus　lightly　skim；　and　haste　away。〃

Though　thus　uncommonly　ready　both　to　give　and　take　offence；　Mr。　Johnson　had　many　rigid　maxims　concerning　the　necessity　of　continued　softness　and　compliance　of　disposition：　　and　when　I　once　mentioned　Shenstone's　idea　that　some　little　quarrel　among　lovers；　relations；　and　friends　was　useful；　and　contributed　to　their　general