lecture03-第4章
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fluctuates; so the believer alternates between warmth and
coldness in his faith。 Other examples will bring this home to
one better than abstract description; so I proceed immediately to
cite some。 The first example is a negative one; deploring the
loss of the sense in question。 I have extracted it from an
account given me by a scientific man of my acquaintance; of his
religious life。 It seems to me to show clearly that the feeling
of reality may be something more like a sensation than an
intellectual operation properly so…called。
〃Between twenty and thirty I gradually became more and more
agnostic and irreligious; yet I cannot say that I ever lost that
'indefinite consciousness' which Herbert Spencer describes so
well; of an Absolute Reality behind phenomena。 For me this
Reality was not the pure Unknowable of Spencer's philosophy; for
although I had ceased my childish prayers to God; and never
prayed to IT in a formal manner; yet my more recent experience
shows me to have been in a relation to IT which practically was
the same thing as prayer。 Whenever I had any trouble; especially
when I had conflict with other people; either domestically or in
the way of business; or when I was depressed in spirits or
anxious about affairs; I now recognize that I used to fall back
for support upon this curious relation I felt myself to be in to
this fundamental cosmical IT。 It was on my side; or I was on Its
side; however you please to term it; in the particular trouble;
and it always strengthened me and seemed to give me endless
vitality to feel its underlying and supporting presence。 In
fact; it was an unfailing fountain of living justice; truth; and
strength; to which I instinctively turned at times of weakness;
and it always brought me out。 I know now that it was a personal
relation I was in to it; because of late years the power of
communicating with it has left me; and I am conscious of a
perfectly definite loss。 I used never to fail to find it when I
turned to it。 Then came a set of years when sometimes I found
it; and then again I would be wholly unable to make connection
with it。 I remember many occasions on which at night in bed; I
would be unable to get to sleep on account of worry。 I turned
this way and that in the darkness; and groped mentally for the
familiar sense of that higher mind of my mind which had always
seemed to be close at hand as it were; closing the passage; and
yielding support; but there was no electric current。 A blank was
there instead of IT: I couldn't find anything。 Now; at the age
of nearly fifty; my power of getting into connection with it has
entirely left me; and I have to confess that a great help has
gone out of my life。 Life has become curiously dead and
indifferent; and I can now see that my old experience was
probably exactly the same thing as the prayers of the orthodox;
only I did not call them by that name。 What I have spoken of as
'It' was practically not Spencer's Unknowable; but just my own
instinctive and individual God; whom I relied upon for higher
sympathy; but whom somehow I have lost。〃
Nothing is more common in the pages of religious biography than
the way in which seasons of lively and of difficult faith are
described as alternating。 Probably every religious person has
the recollection of particular crisis in which a directer vision
of the truth; a direct perception; perhaps; of a living God's
existence; swept in and overwhelmed the languor of the more
ordinary belief。 In James Russell Lowell's correspondence there
is a brief memorandum of an experience of this kind:
〃I had a revelation last Friday evening。 I was at Mary's; and
happening to say something of the presence of spirits (of whom; I
said; I was often dimly aware); Mr。 Putnam entered into an
argument with me on spiritual matters。 As I was speaking; the
whole system rose up before me like a vague destiny looming from
the Abyss。 I never before so clearly felt the Spirit of God in
me and around rue。 The whole room seemed to me full of God。 The
air seemed to waver to and fro with the presence of Something I
knew not what。 I spoke with the calmness and clearness of a
prophet。 I cannot tell you what this revelation was。 I have not
yet studied it enough。 But I shall perfect it one day; and then
you shall hear it and acknowledge its grandeur。〃'27'
'27' Letters of Lowell; i。 75。
Here is a longer and more developed experience from a
manuscript communication by a clergymanI take it from
Starbuck's manuscript collection:
〃I remember the night; and almost the very spot on the hill…top;
where my soul opened out; as it were; into the Infinite; and
there was a rushing together of the two worlds; the inner and the
outer。 It was deep calling unto deepthe deep that my own
struggle had opened up within being answered by the unfathomable
deep without; reaching beyond the stars。 I stood alone with Him
who had made me; and all the beauty of the world; and love; and
sorrow; and even temptation。 I did not seek Him; but felt the
perfect unison of my spirit with His。 The ordinary sense of
things around me faded。 For the moment nothing but an ineffable
joy and exultation remained。 It is impossible fully to describe
the experience。 It was like the effect of some great orchestra
when all the separate notes have melted into one swelling harmony
that leaves the listener conscious of nothing save that his soul
is being wafted upwards; and almost bursting with its own
emotion。 The perfect stillness of the night was thrilled by a
more solemn silence。 The darkness held a presence that was all
the more felt because it was not seen。 I could not any more have
doubted that HE was there than that I was。 Indeed; I felt myself
to be; if possible; the less real of the two。
〃My highest faith in God and truest idea of him were then born in
me。 I have stood upon the Mount of Vision since; and felt the
Eternal round about me。 But never since has there come quite the
same stirring of the heart。 Then; if ever; I believe; I stood
face to face with God; and was born anew of his spirit。 There
was; as I recall it; no sudden change of thought or of belief;
except that my early crude conception; had; as it were burst into
flower。 There was no destruction of the old; but a rapid;
wonderful unfolding。 Since that time no discussion that I have
heard of the proofs of God's existence has been able to shake my
faith。 Having once felt the presence of God's spirit; I have
never lost it again for long。 My most assuring evidence of his
existence is deeply rooted in that hour of vision in the memory
of that supreme experience; and in the conviction; gained from
reading and reflection; that something the same has come to all
who have found God。 I am aware that it may justly be called
mystical。 I am not enough acquainted with philosophy to defend
it from that or any other charge。 I feel that in writing of it I
have overlaid it with words rather than put it clearly to your
thought。 But; such as it is; I have described it as carefully as
I now am able to do。〃
Here is another document; even more definite in character; which;
the writer being a Swiss; I translate from the French
original。'28'
'28' I borrow it; with Professor Flournoy's permission; from his
rich collection of psychological documents。
〃I was in