volume01-第12章

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ions　of　his　Son。　　Then　lay　aside　your　fears；　Speak　to　me　with　openness：　　Speak　to　me；　Rosario；　and　say　that　you　will　confide　in　me。　　If　my　aid　or　my　pity　can　alleviate　your　distress。　。　。　。'

'Yours　can！　　Yours　only　can！　　Ah！　　Father；　how　willingly　would　I　unveil　to　you　my　heart！　　How　willingly　would　I　declare　the　secret　which　bows　me　down　with　its　weight！　But　Oh！　　I　fear！　　I　fear！'

'What；　my　Son？'

'That　you　should　abhor　me　for　my　weakness；　That　the　reward　of　my　confidence　should　be　the　loss　of　your　esteem。'

'How　shall　I　reassure　you？　　Reflect　upon　the　whole　of　my　past　conduct；　upon　the　paternal　tenderness　which　I　have　ever　shown　you。　　Abhor　you；　Rosario？　　It　is　no　longer　in　my　power。　　To　give　up　your　society　would　be　to　deprive　myself　of　the　greatest　pleasure　of　my　life。　　Then　reveal　to　me　what　afflicts　you；　and　believe　me　while　I　solemnly　swear。　。　。　。'

'Hold！'　interrupted　the　Novice；　'Swear；　that　whatever　be　my　secret；　you　will　not　oblige　me　to　quit　the　Monastery　till　my　Noviciate　shall　expire。'

'I　promise　it　faithfully；　and　as　I　keep　my　vows　to　you；　may　Christ　keep　his　to　Mankind。　　Now　then　explain　this　mystery；　and　rely　upon　my　indulgence。'

'I　obey　you。　　Know　then。　。　。　。　　Oh！　how　I　tremble　to　name　the　word！　　Listen　to　me　with　pity；　revered　Ambrosio！　　Call　up　every　latent　spark　of　human　weakness　that　may　teach　you　compassion　for　mine！　　Father！'　continued　He　throwing　himself　at　the　Friar's　feet；　and　pressing　his　hand　to　his　lips　with　eagerness；　while　agitation　for　a　moment　choaked　his　voice；　'Father！'　continued　He　in　faltering　accents；　'I　am　a　Woman！'

The　Abbot　started　at　this　unexpected　avowal。　Prostrate　on　the　ground　lay　the　feigned　Rosario；　as　if　waiting　in　silence　the　decision　of　his　Judge。　　Astonishment　on　the　one　part；　apprehension　on　the　other；　for　some　minutes　chained　them　in　the　same　attitudes；　as　had　they　been　touched　by　the　Rod　of　some　Magician。　　At　length　recovering　from　his　confusion；　the　Monk　quitted　the　Grotto；　and　sped　with　precipitation　towards　the　Abbey。　　His　action　did　not　escape　the　Suppliant。　　She　sprang　from　the　ground；　She　hastened　to　follow　him；　overtook　him；　threw　herself　in　his　passage；　and　embraced　his　knees。　　Ambrosio　strove　in　vain　to　disengage　himself　from　her　grasp。

'Do　not　fly　me！'　She　cried；　'Leave　me　not　abandoned　to　the　impulse　of　despair！　　Listen；　while　I　excuse　my　imprudence；　while　I　acknowledge　my　Sister's　story　to　be　my　own！　　I　am　Matilda；　You　are　her　Beloved。'

If　Ambrosio's　surprise　was　great　at　her　first　avowal；　upon　hearing　her　second　it　exceeded　all　bounds。　　Amazed；　embarrassed；　and　irresolute　He　found　himself　incapable　of　pronouncing　a　syllable；　and　remained　in　silence　gazing　upon　Matilda：　　This　gave　her　opportunity　to　continue　her　explanation　as　follows。

'Think　not；　Ambrosio；　that　I　come　to　rob　your　Bride　of　your　affections。　　No；　believe　me：　　Religion　alone　deserves　you；　and　far　is　it　from　Matilda's　wish　to　draw　you　from　the　paths　of　virtue。　　What　I　feel　for　you　is　love；　not　licentiousness；　I　sigh　to　be　possessor　of　your　heart；　not　lust　for　the　enjoyment　of　your　person。　　Deign　to　listen　to　my　vindication：　　A　few　moments　will　convince　you　that　this　holy　retreat　is　not　polluted　by　my　presence；　and　that　you　may　grant　me　your　compassion　without　trespassing　against　your　vows。'She　seated　herself：　　Ambrosio；　scarcely　conscious　of　what　He　did；　followed　her　example；　and　She　proceeded　in　her　discourse。

'I　spring　from　a　distinguished　family：　　My　Father　was　Chief　of　the　noble　House　of　Villanegas。　　He　died　while　I　was　still　an　Infant；　and　left　me　sole　Heiress　of　his　immense　possessions。　　Young　and　wealthy；　I　was　sought　in　marriage　by　the　noblest　Youths　of　Madrid；　But　no　one　succeeded　in　gaining　my　affections。　　I　had　been　brought　up　under　the　care　of　an　Uncle　possessed　of　the　most　solid　judgment　and　extensive　erudition。　　He　took　pleasure　in　communicating　to　me　some　portion　of　his　knowledge。　　Under　his　instructions　my　understanding　acquired　more　strength　and　justness　than　generally　falls　to　the　lot　of　my　sex：　　The　ability　of　my　Preceptor　being　aided　by　natural　curiosity；　I　not　only　made　a　considerable　progress　in　sciences　universally　studied；　but　in　others；　revealed　but　to　few；　and　lying　under　censure　from　the　blindness　of　superstition。　　But　while　my　Guardian　laboured　to　enlarge　the　sphere　of　my　knowledge；　He　carefully　inculcated　every　moral　precept：　　He　relieved　me　from　the　shackles　of　vulgar　prejudice；　He　pointed　out　the　beauty　of　Religion；　He　taught　me　to　look　with　adoration　upon　the　pure　and　virtuous；　and；　woe　is　me！　　I　have　obeyed　him　but　too　well！

'With　such　dispositions；　Judge　whether　I　could　observe　with　any　other　sentiment　than　disgust　the　vice；　dissipation；　and　ignorance；　which　disgrace　our　Spanish　Youth。　　I　rejected　every　offer　with　disdain。　　My　heart　remained　without　a　Master　till　chance　conducted　me　to　the　Cathedral　of　the　Capuchins。　　Oh！　surely　on　that　day　my　Guardian　Angel　slumbered　neglectful　of　his　charge！　　Then　was　it　that　I　first　beheld　you：　　You　supplied　the　Superior's　place；　absent　from　illness。　　You　cannot　but　remember　the　lively　enthusiasm　which　your　discourse　created。　　Oh！　how　I　drank　your　words！　　How　your　eloquence　seemed　to　steal　me　from　myself！　　I　scarcely　dared　to　breathe；　fearing　to　lose　a　syllable；　and　while　you　spoke；　Methought　a　radiant　glory　beamed　round　your　head；　and　your　countenance　shone　with　the　majesty　of　a　God。　　I　retired　from　the　Church；　glowing　with　admiration。　　From　that　moment　you　became　the　idol　of　my　heart；　the　never…changing　object　of　my　Meditations。　　I　enquired　respecting　you。　　The　reports　which　were　made　me　of　your　mode　of　life；　of　your　knowledge；　piety；　and　self…denial　riveted　the　chains　imposed　on　me　by　your　eloquence。　　I　was　conscious　that　there　was　no　longer　a　void　in　my　heart；　That　I　had　found　the　Man　whom　I　had　sought　till　then　in　vain。　　In　expectation　of　hearing　you　again；　every　day　I　visited　your　Cathedral：　　You　remained　secluded　within　the　Abbey　walls；　and　I　always　withdrew；　wretched　and　disappointed。　　The　Night　was　more　propitious　to　me；　for　then　you　stood　before　me　in　my　dreams；　You　vowed　to　me　eternal　friendship；　You　led　me　through　the　paths　of　virtue；　and　assisted　me　to　support　the　vexations　of　life。　　The　Morning　dispelled　these　pleasing　visions；　I　woke；　and　found　myself　separated　from　you　by　Barriers　which　appeared　insurmountable。　　Time　seemed　only　to　increase　the　strength　of　my　passion：　　I　grew　melancholy　and　despondent；　I　fled　from　society；　and　my　health　declined　daily。　　At　length　no　longer　able　to　exist　in　this　state　of　torture；　I　resolved　to　assume　the　disguise　in　which　you　see　me。　　My　artifice　was　fortunate：　　I　was　received　into　the　Monastery；　and　succeeded　in　gaining　your　esteem。

'Now　then　I　should　have　felt　compleatly　happy；　had　not　my　quiet　been　disturbed　by　the　fear　of　detection。　　The　pleasure　which　I　received　from　your　society；　was　embittered　by　the　idea　that　perhaps　I　should　soon　be　deprived　of　it：　and　my　heart　throbbed　so　rapturously　at　obtaining　the　marks　of　your　friendship；　as　to　convince　me　that　I　never　should　survive　its　loss。　　I　resolved；　therefore；　not　to　leave　the　discovery　of　my　sex　to　chance；　to　confess　the　whole　to　you；　and　throw　myself　entirely　on　your　mercy　and　indulgence。　　Ah！　Ambrosio；　can　I　have　been　deceived？　　Can　you　be　less　generous　than　I　thought　you？　　I　will　not　suspect　it。　　You　will　not　drive　a　Wretch　to　despair；　I　shall　still　be　permitted　to　see　you；　to　converse　with　you；　to　adore　you！　　Your　virtues　shall　be　my　example　through　life；　and　when　we　expire；　our　bodies　shall　rest　in　the　same　Grave。'

She　ceased。　　While　She　spoke；　a　thousand　opposing　sentiments　combated　in　Ambrosio's　bosom。　　Surprise　at　the　singularity　of　this　adventure；　Confusion　at　her　abrupt　declaration；　Resentment　at　her　boldness　in　entering　the　Monastery；　and　Consciousness　of　the　austerity　with　which　it　behoved　him　to　reply；　such　were　the　sentiments　of　which　He　was　aware；　But　there　were　others　also　which　did　not　obtain　his　notice。　　He　perceived　not；　that　his　vanity　was　flattered　by　the　praises　bestowed　upon　his　eloquence　and　virtue；　that　He　felt　a　secret　pleasure　in　reflecting　that　a　young　and　seemingly　lovely　Woman　had　for　his　sake　abandoned　the　world；　and　sacrificed　every　other　passion　to　that　which