the country doctor-第25章
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ng my house into an almshouse； in which old people who have not Moreau's fierce independence can end their days。 Part of the income of nine thousand francs brought in by the mill and the rest of my property will be devoted to giving outdoor relief in hard winters to those who really stand in need of it。
〃This foundation will be under the control of the Municipal Council； with the addition of the cure； who is to be president； and in this way the money made in the district will be returned to it。 In my will I have laid down the lines on which this institution is to be conducted； it would be tedious to go over them； it is enough to say that I have a fund which will some day enable the Commune to award several scholarships for children who show signs of promise in art or science。 So； even after I am gone； my work of civilization will continue。 When you have set yourself to do anything； Captain Bluteau； something within you urges you on； you see； and you cannot bear to leave it unfinished。 This craving within us for order and for perfection is one of the signs that point most surely to a future existence。 Now； let us quicken our pace； I have my round to finish； and there are five or six more patients still to be visited。〃
They cantered on for some time in silence； till Benassis said laughingly to his companion； 〃Come now； Captain Bluteau； you have drawn me out and made me chatter like a magpie； and you have not said a syllable about your own history； which must be an interesting one。 When a soldier has come to your time of life； he has seen so much that he must have more than one adventure to tell about。〃
〃Why； my history has been simply the history of the army；〃 answered Genestas。 〃Soldiers are all after one pattern。 Never in command； always giving and taking sabre…cuts in my place； I have lived just like anybody else。 I have been wherever Napoleon led us； and have borne a part in every battle in which the Imperial Guard has struck a blow； but everybody knows all about these events。 A soldier has to look after his horse； to endure hunger and thirst at times； to fight whenever there is fighting to be done； and there you have the whole history of his life。 As simple as saying good…day； is it not？ Then there are battles in which your horse casts a shoe at the outset； and lands you in a quandary； and as far as you are concerned； that is the whole of it。 In short； I have seen so many countries； that seeing them has come to be a matter of course； and I have seen so many men die； that I have come to value my own life at nothing。〃
〃But you yourself must have been in danger at times； and it would be interesting to hear you tell of your personal adventures。〃
〃Perhaps；〃 answered the commandant。
〃Well； then； tell me about the adventure that made the deepest impression upon you。 Come！ do not hesitate。 I shall not think that you are wanting in modesty even if you should tell me of some piece of heroism on your part； and when a man is quite sure that he will not be misunderstood； ought he not to find a kind of pleasure in saying； 'I did thus'？〃
〃Very well； then； I will tell you about something that gives me a pang of remorse from time to time。 During fifteen years of warfare it never once happened that I killed a man； save in legitimate defence of self。 We are drawn up in a line； and we charge； and if we do not strike down those before us； they will begin to draw blood without asking leave； so you have to kill if you do not mean to be killed； and your conscience is quite easy。 But once I broke a comrade's back； it happened in a singular way； and it has been a painful thing to me to think of afterwardsthe man's dying grimace haunts me at times。 But you shall judge for yourself。
〃It was during the retreat from Moscow；〃 the commandant went on。 〃The Grand Army had ceased to be itself； we were more like a herd of over… driven cattle。 Good…bye to discipline！ The regiments had lost sight of their colors； every one was his own master； and the Emperor （one need not scruple to say it） knew that it was useless to attempt to exert his authority when things had gone so far。 When we reached Studzianka； a little place on the other side of the Beresina； we came upon human dwellings for the first time after several days。 There were barns and peasants' cabins to destroy； and pits full of potatoes and beetroot； the army had been without vitual； and now it fairly ran riot； the first comers； as you might expect； making a clean sweep of everything。
〃I was one of the last to come up。 Luckily for me； sleep was the one thing that I longed for just then。 I caught sight of a barn and went into it。 I looked round and saw a score of generals and officers of high rank； all of them men who； without flattery； might be called great。 Junot was there； and Narbonne； the Emperor's aide…de…camp； and all the chiefs of the army。 There were common soldiers there as well； not one of whom would have given up his bed of straw to a marshal of France。 Some who were leaning their backs against the wall had dropped off to sleep where they stood； because there was no room to lie down； others lay stretched out on the floorit was a mass of men packed together so closely for the sake of warmth； that I looked about in vain for a nook to lie down in。 I walked over this flooring of human bodies； some of the men growled； the others said nothing； but no one budged。 They would not have moved out of the way of a cannon ball just then； but under the circumstances； one was not obliged to practise the maxims laid down by the Child's Guide to Manners。 Groping about； I saw at the end of the barn a sort of ledge up above in the roof； no one had thought of scrambling up to it； possibly no one had felt equal to the effort。 I clambered up and ensconced myself upon it； and as I lay there at full length； I looked down at the men huddled together like sheep below。 It was a pitiful sight； yet it almost made me laugh。 A man here and there was gnawing a frozen carrot； with a kind of animal satisfaction expressed in his face； and thunderous snores came from generals who lay muffled up in ragged cloaks。 The whole barn was lighted by a blazing pine log； it might have set the place on fire； and no one would have troubled to get up and put it out。
〃I lay down on my back； and； naturally； just before I dropped off； my eyes traveled to the roof above me； and then I saw that the main beam which bore the weight of the joists was being slightly shaken from east to west。 The blessed thing danced about in fine style。 'Gentlemen；' said I； 'one of our friends outside has a mind to warm himself at our expense。' A few moments more and the beam was sure to come down。 'Gentlemen！ gentlemen！' I shouted； 'we shall all be killed in a minute！ Look at the beam there！' and I made such a noise that my bed…fellows awoke at last。 Well； sir； they all stared up at the beam； and then those who had been sleeping turned round and went off to sleep again； while those who were eating did not even stop to answer me。
〃Seeing how things were； there was nothing for it but to get up and leave my place； and run the risk of finding it taken by somebody else； for all the lives of this heap of heroes were at stake。 So out I go。 I turn the corner of the barn and come upon a great devil of a Wurtemberger； who was tugging at the beam with a certain enthusiasm。 'Aho！ aho！' I shouted； trying to make him understand that he must desist from his toil。 'Gehe mir aus dem Gesicht； oder ich schlag dich todt！Get out of my sight； or I will kill you；' he cried。 'Ah！ yes； just so； Que mire aous dem guesit；' I answered； 'but that is not the point。' I picked up his gun that he had left on the ground； and broke his back with it； then I turned in again； and went off to sleep。 Now you know the whole business。〃
〃But that was a case of self…defence； in which one man suffered for the good of many； so you have nothing to reproach yourself with；〃 said Benassis。
〃The rest of them thought that it had only been my fancy； but fancy or no； a good many of them are living comfortably in fine houses to…day； without feeling their hearts oppressed by gratitude。〃
〃Then would you only do people a good turn in order to receive that exorbitant interest called gratitu
