malvina of brittany-第31章

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〃My　fault；〃　muttered　Abner。　　〃I　forget　you're　a　child。　　You　ask　all
sorts　of　questions　that　never　ought　to　enter　your　head；　and　I'm　fool
enough　to　answer　you。〃

One　small　tear　that　had　made　its　escape　unnoticed　by　her　was
stealing　down　her　cheek。　　He　wiped　it　away　and　took　one　of　her　small
paws　in　both　his　hands。

〃I　loved　your　mother　very　dearly；〃　he　said　gravely。　　〃I　had　loved
her　from　a　child。　　But　no　woman　will　ever　understand　the　power　that
beauty　has　upon　a　man。　　You　see　we're　built　that　way。　　It's　Nature's
lure。　　Later　on；　of　course；　I　might　have　forgotten；　but　then　it　was
too　late。　　Can　you　forgive　me？〃

〃But　you　still　love　her；〃　reasoned　Ann　through　her　tears；　〃or　you
wouldn't　want　him　to　come　here。〃

〃She　had　such　a　hard　time　of　it；〃　pleaded　Abner。　　〃It　made　things
easier　to　her；　my　giving　her　my　word　that　I　would　always　look　after
the　boy。　　You'll　help　me？〃

〃I'll　try；〃　said　Ann。　　But　there　was　not　much　promise　in　the　tone。

Nor　did　Matthew　Pole　himself；　when　he　arrived；　do　much　to　help
matters。　　He　was　so　hopelessly　English。　　At　least；　that　was　the　way
Ann　put　it。　　He　was　shy　and　sensitive。　　It　is　a　trying　combination。
It　made　him　appear　stupid　and　conceited。　　A　lonely　childhood　had
rendered　him　unsociable；　unadaptable。　　A　dreamy；　imaginative
temperament　imposed　upon　him　long　moods　of　silence：　　a　liking　for
long　solitary　walks。　　For　the　first　time　Ann　and　Mrs。　Travers　were
in　agreement。

〃A　sulky　young　dog；〃　commented　Mrs。　Travers。　　〃If　I　were　your　uncle
I'd　look　out　for　a　job　for　him　in　San　Francisco。〃

〃You　see；〃　said　Ann　in　excuse　for　him；　〃it's　such　a　foggy　country；
England。　　It　makes　them　like　that。〃

〃It's　a　pity　they　can't　get　out　of　it；〃　said　Mrs。　Travers。

Also；　sixteen　is　an　awkward　age　for　a　boy。　　Virtues；　still　in　the
chrysalis　state；　are　struggling　to　escape　from　their　parent　vices。
Pride；　an　excellent　quality　making　for　courage　and　patience；　still
appears　in　the　swathings　of　arrogance。　　Sincerity　still　expresses
itself　in　the　language　of　rudeness。　　Kindness　itself　is　apt　to　be
mistaken　for　amazing　impertinence　and　love　of　interference。

It　was　kindnessa　genuine　desire　to　be　useful；　that　prompted　him　to
point　out　to　Ann　her　undoubted　faults　and　failings；　nerved　him　to
the　task　of　bringing　her　up　in　the　way　she　should　go。　　Mrs。　Travers
had　long　since　washed　her　hands　of　the　entire　business。　　Uncle　Ab；
as　Matthew　also　called　him；　had　proved　himself　a　weakling。
Providence；　so　it　seemed　to　Matthew；　must　have　been　waiting
impatiently　for　his　advent。　　Ann　at　first　thought　it　was　some　new
school　of　humour。　　When　she　found　he　was　serious　she　set　herself　to
cure　him。　　But　she　never　did。　　He　was　too　conscientious　for　that。
The　instincts　of　the　guide；　philosopher；　and　friend　to　humanity　in
general　were　already　too　strong　in　him。　　There　were　times　when　Abner
almost　wished　that　Matthew　Pole　senior　had　lived　a　little　longer。

But　he　did　not　lose　hope。　　At　the　back　of　his　mind　was　the　fancy
that　these　two　children　of　his　loves　would　come　together。　　Nothing
is　quite　so　sentimental　as　a　healthy　old　bachelor。　　He　pictured　them
making　unity　from　his　confusions；　in　imagination　heard　the　patter　on
the　stairs　of　tiny　feet。　　To　all　intents　and　purposes　he　would　be　a
grandfather。　　Priding　himself　on　his　cunning；　he　kept　his　dream　to
himself；　as　he　thought；　but　under…estimated　Ann's　smartness。

For　days　together　she　would　follow　Matthew　with　her　eyes；　watching
him　from　behind　her　long　lashes；　listening　in　silence　to　everything
he　said；　vainly　seeking　to　find　points　in　him。　　He　was　unaware　of
her　generous　intentions。　　He　had　a　vague　feeling　he　was　being
criticised。　　He　resented　it　even　in　those　days。

〃I　do　try；〃　said　Ann　suddenly　one　evening　apropos　of　nothing　at　all。
〃No　one　will　ever　know　how　hard　I　try　not　to　dislike　him。〃

Abner　looked　up。

〃Sometimes；〃　continued　Ann；　〃I　tell　myself　I　have　almost　succeeded。
And　then　he　will　go　and　do　something　that　will　bring　it　all　on
again。〃

〃What　does　he　do？〃　asked　Abner。

〃Oh；　I　can't　tell　you；〃　confessed　Ann。　　〃If　I　told　you　it　would
sound　as　if　it　was　my　fault。　　It's　all　so　silly。　　And　then　he　thinks
such　a　lot　of　himself。　　If　one　only　knew　why！　　He　can't　tell　you
himself　when　you　ask　him。〃

〃You　have　asked　him？〃　queried　Abner。

〃I　wanted　to　know；〃　explained　Ann。　　〃I　thought　there　might　be
something　in　him　that　I　could　like。〃

〃Why　do　you　want　to　like　him？〃　asked　Abner；　wondering　how　much　she
had　guessed。

〃I　know；〃　wailed　Ann。　　〃You　are　hoping　that　when　I　am　grown　up　I
shall　marry　him。　　And　I　don't　want　to。　　It's　so　ungrateful　of　me。〃

〃Well；　you're　not　grown　up　yet；〃　Abner　consoled　her。　　〃And　so　long
as　you　are　feeling　like　that　about　it；　I'm　not　likely　to　want　you　to
marry　him。〃

〃It　would　make　you　so　happy；〃　sobbed　Ann。

〃Yes；　but　we've　got　to　think　of　the　boy；　don't　forget　that；〃　laughed
Abner。　　〃Perhaps　he　might　object。〃

〃He　would。　　I　know　he　would；〃　cried　Ann　with　conviction。　　〃He's　no
better　than　I　am。〃

〃Have　you　been　asking　him　to？〃　demanded　Abner；　springing　up　from　his
chair。

〃Not　to　marry　me；〃　explained　Ann。　　〃But　I　told　him　he　must　be　an
unnatural　little　beast　not　to　try　to　like　me　when　he　knew　how　you
loved　me。〃

〃Helpful　way　of　putting　it；〃　growled　Abner。　　〃And　what　did　he　say　to
that？〃

〃Admitted　it；〃　flashed　Ann　indignantly。　　〃Said　he　had　tried。〃

Abner　succeeded　in　persuading　her　that　the　path　of　dignity　and
virtue　lay　in　her　dismissing　the　whole　subject　from　her　mind。

He　had　made　a　mistake；　so　he　told　himself。　　Age　may　be　attracted　by
contrast；　but　youth　has　no　use　for　its　opposite。　　He　would　send
Matthew　away。　　He　could　return　for　week…ends。　　Continually　so　close
to　one　another；　they　saw　only　one　another's　specks　and　flaws；　there
is　no　beauty　without　perspective。　　Matthew　wanted　the　corners　rubbed
off　him；　that　was　all。　　Mixing　more　with　men；　his　priggishness　would
be　laughed　out　of　him。　　Otherwise　he　was　quite　a　decent　youngster；
clean　minded；　high　principled。　　Clever；　too：　　he　often　said　quite
unexpected　things。　　With　approaching　womanhood；　changes　were　taking
place　in　Ann。　　Seeing　her　every　day　one　hardly　noticed　them；　but
there　were　times　when；　standing　before　him　flushed　from　a　walk　or
bending　over　him　to　kiss　him　before　starting　for　some　friendly
dance；　Abner　would　blink　his　eyes　and　be　puzzled。　　The　thin　arms
were　growing　round　and　firm；　the　sallow　complexion　warming　into
olive；　the　once　patchy；　mouse…coloured　hair　darkening　into　a　rich
harmony　of　brown。　　The　eyes　beneath　her　level　brows；　that　had　always
been　her　charm；　still　reminded　Abner　of　her　mother；　but　there　was
more　light　in　them；　more　danger。

〃I'll　run　down　to　Albany　and　talk　to　Jephson　about　him；〃　decided
Abner。　　〃He　can　come　home　on　Saturdays。〃

The　plot　might　have　succeeded：　　one　never　can　tell。　　But　a　New　York
blizzard　put　a　stop　to　it。　　The　cars　broke　down；　and　Abner；　walking
home　in　thin　shoes　from　a　meeting；　caught　a　chill；　which；　being
neglected；　proved　fatal。

Abner　was　troubled　as　he　lay　upon　his　bed。　　The　children　were
sitting　very　silent　by　the　window。　　He　sent　Matthew　out　on　a
message；　and　then　beckoned　Ann　to　come　to　him。　　He　loved　the　boy；
too；　but　Ann　was　nearer　to　him。

〃You　haven't　thought　any　more；〃　he　whispered；　〃about〃

〃No；〃　answered　Ann。　　〃You　wished　me　not　to。〃

〃You　must　never　think；〃　he　said；　〃to　show　your　love　for　my　memory　by
doing　anything　that　would　not　make　you　happy。　　If　I　am　anywhere
around；〃　he　continued　with　a　smile；　〃it　will　be　your　good　I　shall　be
watching　for；　not　my　own　way。　　You　will　remember　that？〃

He　had　meant　to　do　more　for　them；　but　the　end　had　come　so　much
sooner　than　he　had　expected。　　To　Ann　he　left　the　house　（Mrs。　Travers
had　already　retired　on　a　small　pension）　and　a　sum　that；　judiciously
invested；　the　friend　and　attorney　thought　should　be　sufficient　for
her　needs；　even　supposingThe　friend　and　attorney；　pausing　to　dwell
upon　the　oval　face　with　its　dark　eyes；　left　the　sentence　unfinished。

To　Matthew　he　wrote　a　loving　letter；　enclosing　a　thousand　dollars。
He　knew　that　Matthew；　now　in　a　position　to　earn　his　living　as　a
journalist；　would　rather　have　taken　nothing。　　It　was　to　be　lo