a daughter of eve-第19章

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affairs。



〃The　paper　will　be　wretched　to…night；〃　he　thought；　as　he　walked　away。

〃No　article　of　mine；　and　only　the　second　number；　too！〃



Madame　Felix　de　Vandenesse　drove　three　times　to　the　Bois　de　Boulogne

without　finding　Raoul；　the　third　time　she　came　back　anxious　and

uneasy。　The　fact　was　that　Nathan　did　not　choose　to　show　himself　in　the

Bois　until　he　could　go　there　as　a　prince　of　the　press。　He　employed　a

whole　week　in　searching　for　horses；　a　phantom　and　a　suitable　tiger；

and　in　convincing　his　partners　of　the　necessity　of　saving　time　so

precious　to　them；　and　therefore　of　charging　his　equipage　to　the　costs

of　the　journal。　His　associates；　Massol　and　du　Tillet　agreed　to　this　so

readily　that　he　really　believed　them　the　best　fellows　in　the　world。

Without　this　help；　however；　life　would　have　been　simply　impossible　to

Raoul；　as　it　was；　it　became　so　irksome　that　many　men；　even　those　of

the　strongest　constitutions；　could　not　have　borne　it。　A　violent　and

successful　passion　takes　a　great　deal　of　space　in　an　ordinary　life；

but　when　it　is　connected　with　a　woman　in　the　social　position　of　Madame

de　Vandenesse　it　sucks　the　life　out　of　a　man　as　busy　as　Raoul。　Here　is

a　list　of　the　obligations　his　passion　imposed　upon　him。



Every　day；　or　nearly　every　day；　he　was　obliged　to　be　on　horseback　in

the　Bois；　between　two　and　three　o'clock；　in　the　careful　dress　of　a

gentleman　of　leisure。　He　had　to　learn　at　what　house　or　theatre　he

could　meet　Madame　de　Vandenesse　in　the　evening。　He　was　not　able　to

leave　the　party　or　the　play　until　long　after　midnight；　having　obtained

nothing　better　than　a　few　tender　sentences；　long　awaited；　said　in　a

doorway；　or　hastily　as　he　put　her　into　her　carriage。　It　frequently

happened　that　Marie；　who　by　this　time　had　launched　him　into　the　great

world；　procured　for　him　invitations　to　dinner　in　certain　houses　where

she　went　herself。　All　this　seemed　the　simplest　life　in　the　world　to

her。　Raoul　moved　by　pride　and　led　on　by　his　passion　never　told　her　of

his　labors。　He　obeyed　the　will　of　this　innocent　sovereign；　followed　in

her　train；　followed；　also；　the　parliamentary　debates；　edited　and　wrote

for　his　newspaper；　and　put　upon　the　stage　two　plays；　the　money　for

which　was　absolutely　indispensable　to　him。　It　sufficed　for　Madame　de

Vandenesse　to　make　a　little　face　of　displeasure　when　he　tried　to

excuse　himself　from　attending　a　ball；　a　concert；　or　from　driving　in

the　Bois；　to　compel　him　to　sacrifice　his　most　pressing　interests　to

her　good　pleasure。　When　he　left　society　between　one　and　two　in　the

morning　he　went　straight　to　work　until　eight　or　nine。　He　was　scarcely

asleep　before　he　was　obliged　to　be　up　and　concocting　the　opinions　of

his　journal　with　the　men　of　political　influence　on　whom　he　depended；

not　to　speak　of　the　thousand　and　one　other　details　of　the　paper。

Journalism　is　connected　with　everything　in　these　days；　with　industrial

concerns；　with　public　and　private　interests；　with　all　new　enterprises；

and　all　the　schemes　of　literature；　its　self…loves；　and　its　products。



When　Nathan；　harassed　and　fatigued；　would　rush　from　his　editorial

office　to　the　theatre；　from　the　theatre　to　the　Chamber；　from　the

Chamber　to　face　certain　creditors；　he　was　forced　to　appear　in　the　Bois

with　a　calm　countenance；　and　gallop　beside　Marie's　carriage　in　the

leisurely　style　of　a　man　devoid　of　cares　and　with　no　other　duties　than

those　of　love。　When　in　return　for　this　toilsome　and　wholly　ignored

devotion　all　he　won　were　a　few　sweet　words；　the　prettiest　assurances

of　eternal　attachment；　ardent　pressures　of　the　hand　on　the　very　few

occasions　when　they　found　themselves　alone；　he　began　to　feel　he　was

rather　duped　by　leaving　his　mistress　in　ignorance　of　the　enormous

costs　of　these　〃little　attentions；〃　as　our　fathers　called　them。　The

occasion　for　an　explanation　arrived　in　due　time。



On　a　fine　April　morning　the　countess　accepted　Nathan's　arm　for　a　walk

through　the　sequestered　path　of　the　Bois　de　Boulogne。　She　intended　to

make　him　one　of　those　pretty　little　quarrels　apropos　of　nothing；　which

women　are　so　fond　of　exciting。　Instead　of　greeting　him　as　usual；　with

a　smile　upon　her　lips；　her　forehead　illumined　with　pleasure；　her　eyes

bright　with　some　gay　or　delicate　thought；　she　assumed　a　grave　and

serious　aspect。



〃What　is　the　matter？〃　said　Nathan。



〃Why　do　you　pretend　to　such　ignorance？〃　she　replied。　〃You　ought　to

know　that　a　woman　is　not　a　child。〃



〃Have　I　displeased　you？〃



〃Should　I　be　here　if　you　had？〃



〃But　you　don't　smile　to　me；　you　don't　seem　happy　to　see　me。〃



〃Oh！　do　you　accuse　me　of　sulking？〃　she　said；　looking　at　him　with　that

submissive　air　which　women　assume　when　they　want　to　seem　victims。



Nathan　walked　on　a　few　steps　in　a　state　of　real　apprehension　which

oppressed　him。



〃It　must　be；〃　he　said；　after　a　moment's　silence；　〃one　of　those

frivolous　fears；　those　hazy　suspicions　which　women　dwell　on　more　than

they　do　on　the　great　things　of　life。　You　all　have　a　way　of　tipping　the

world　sideways　with　a　straw；　a　cobweb〃



〃Sarcasm！〃　she　said；　〃I　might　have　expected　it！〃



〃Marie；　my　angel；　I　only　said　those　words　to　wring　your　secret　out　of

you。〃



〃My　secret　would　be　always　a　secret；　even　if　I　told　it　to　you。〃



〃But　all　the　same；　tell　it　to　me。〃



〃I　am　not　loved；〃　she　said；　giving　him　one　of　those　sly　oblique

glances　with　which　women　question　so　maliciously　the　men　they　are

trying　to　torment。



〃Not　loved！〃　cried　Nathan。



〃No；　you　are　too　occupied　with　other　things。　What　am　I　to　you　in　the

midst　of　them？　forgotten　on　the　least　occasion！　Yesterday　I　came　to

the　Bois　and　you　were　not　here〃



〃But〃



〃I　had　put　on　a　new　dress　expressly　to　please　you；　you　did　not　come；

where　were　you？〃



〃But〃



〃I　did　not　know　where。　I　went　to　Madame　d'Espard's；　you　were　not

there。〃



〃But〃



〃That　evening　at　the　Opera；　I　watched　the　balcony；　every　time　a　door

opened　my　heart　was　beating！〃



〃But〃



〃What　an　evening　I　had！　You　don't　reflect　on　such　tempests　of　the

heart。〃



〃But〃



〃Life　is　shortened　by　such　emotions。〃



〃But〃



〃Well；　what？〃　she　said。



〃You　are　right；　life　is　shortened　by　them；〃　said　Nathan；　〃and　in　a　few

months　you　will　utterly　have　consumed　mine。　Your　unreasonable

reproaches　drag　my　secret　from　me　Ha！　you　say　you　are　not　loved；　you

are　loved　too　well。〃



And　thereupon　he　vividly　depicted　his　position；　told　of　his　sleepless

nights；　his　duties　at　certain　hours；　the　absolute　necessity　of

succeeding　in　his　enterprise；　the　insatiable　requirements　of　a

newspaper　in　which　he　was　required　to　judge　the　events　of　the　whole

world　without　blundering；　under　pain　of　losing　his　power；　and　so

losing　all；　the　infinite　amount　of　rapid　study　he　was　forced　to　give

to　questions　which　passed　as　rapidly　as　clouds　in　this　all…consuming

age；　etc。；　etc。



Raoul　made　a　great　mistake。　The　Marquise　d'Espard　had　said　to　him　on

one　occasion；　〃Nothing　is　more　naive　than　a　first　love。〃　As　he

unfolded　before　Marie's　eyes　this　life　which　seemed　to　her　immense；

the　countess　was　overcome　with　admiration。　She　had　thought　Nathan

grand；　she　now　considered　him　sublime。　She　blamed　herself　for　loving

him　too　much；　begged　him　to　come　to　her　only　when　he　could　do　so

without　difficulty。　Wait？　indeed　she　could　wait！　In　future；　she　should

know　how　to　sacrifice　her　enjoyments。　Wishing　to　be　his　stepping…stone

was　she　really　an　obstacle？　She　wept　with　despair。



〃Women；〃　she　said；　with　tears　in　her　eyes；　〃can　only　love；　men　act；

they　have　a　thousand　ways　in　which　they　are　bound　to　act。　But　we　can

only　think；　and　pray；　and　worship。〃



A　love　that　had　sacrificed　so　much　for　her　sake　deserved　a　recompense。

She　looked　about　her　like　a　nightingale　descending　from　a　leafy　covert

to　drink　at　a　spring；　to　see　if　she　were　alone　in　the　solitude；　if　the

silence　hid　no　witness；　then　she　raised　her　head　to　Raoul；　who　bent

his　own；　and　let　him　take　one　kiss；　the