jefflong.yearzero-第69章
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He knew something about traveling through the land of the dead。 With care； he might make it all the way around the planet。 The world would devour him； but not before he devoured it。
〃You're leaving？〃 she said。
〃Call it a dream；〃 he said。 To love someone who was living； for a change； or at least love someone within his reach。 He raced over his guilt； trying to get ahead of it。 It was a matter of momentum。 If he paused to think of what he was thinking； he would stall。
〃But you can't；〃 she said。
His heart lifted。 Was she reaching for him？ 〃I'd never be missed；〃 he tried。
〃What about the city？〃
Her disbelief backed him off。 He had never heard her say it like that； as if she held the life of this place in the palms of her hands。
〃Los Alamos？〃
〃Yes；〃 she insisted。 〃We need everyone here。 It's all here。〃
〃All what？〃
〃Everything。〃 She scooped at the air。 〃Salvation。〃
She was dead serious。 〃I thought you were going to say； you know； the last of civilization；〃 he teased。
〃That； too；〃 she added without a pause。 〃When all the other cities are dead； we'll be the last city。〃
〃I guess that's something to carve on the tombstone；〃 he said。 He wanted one final grand expedition through the ruins。 And she wanted to nurse civilization right up to its last gasp。 It made him feel lonely； for her as well as him。
〃Don't you see？〃 she said。 〃The survivors will e。〃
〃Ah； them；〃 he said。 The missing links。
〃The satellite teams have tracked over seven hundred survivor incidents now。 Campfires； mostly； but car headlights； too； and the heat signatures of engines。 They're out there； circling around； keeping alive。〃Inheriting the earth； thought Nathan Lee。Doing what I want to do。
〃They're all overseas；〃 he pointed out。 〃They'll never make it here。 They don't even know we exist。〃
〃But there will be American survivors。〃 Quietly； she said； 〃Once America dies off。 The disease will sort them out。〃
〃What makes you think they'll e here？〃
She gestured at the lights。 〃They'll see us from far away。〃
〃But who will they be； these survivors？〃
〃They could be our last hope；〃 she said。 It was like a mantra。 〃They may have developed antibodies to modern Corfu。。。。〃
〃No；〃 he interrupted。 〃I mean who will they be？〃
She was confused。 〃Americans。 Probably people from this land mass； maybe migrant groups drifting south from Canada。。。。〃
〃Be careful what you wish for；〃 he said。 〃You want them to be lambs。 But what if they're wolves？〃
She didn't answer。
〃You have no idea what it's like out there。〃
She looked away from him at her beloved city。
〃Maybe you should be afraid；〃 he said。
She stood up。 〃I expected better of you；〃 she said。 He listened to her footsteps crunch through the gravel。 The door shut behind her。 After she was gone； he continued sitting on the edge of the roof； wondering what was real outside of his desire。
AN HOUR LATER； he reached the outskirts of South Sector； breathing hard。 He came here often； always like this； stealing through the trees； covered in night。 It was cold； but the jog had warmed him。 As always； South Sector lay beyond the forest like an island of light。 For a place with such a dark reputation； it was ungodly bright。 Klieg lights blazed。 The fence line glittered like a a silvery wall。
It had bee a regular stand…off。 South Sector held Ochs。 Ochs held the secret of Grace。 Nathan Lee had the wire cutters and the knife to cut her free。 But not the courage。 It was more than that。 He had lost his direction。 The world had never seemed so immense。 What if Ochs was only an excuse to be lost？ What if Grace no longer existed？ He dueled with his doubts。
Nathan Lee edged through the trees。 The tops of scattered clusters of buildings stood above the gleaming dike of triple fence。 He drew closer。 The pound foreshortened。 At last he could see only guard towers and coils of razor wire and warning signs surrounding it。
The cleared earth blazed white。 There was no in…between in that no man's land。 No shadows allowed。 It was always like this。 The clones wanted out。 He wanted in。
They would catch him。 That was a given。 The clearing was marked。 It was mined and there were sensors and cameras and patrols。 Even so； he might have stepped into the light。 But he didn't trust his destiny。
〃Nathan Lee。〃
He ignored the whisper。 It was the forest。 The wind。
The voice whispered again。 This time； he ducked and turned； and it was Miranda。
She shifted in the screen of brush and woods。 The shadows striped her。 Her eyes were green lights in the darkness。
She had followed him。 He was flustered； as much by her stealth as by his carelessness。 You had to run to stay with her； but that was by day。 Where had she learned to move through the night？ There was no path in here。 From night to night he wasn't sure how he would approach。
〃What are you doing？〃 he whispered。
The forest changed her。 She was Miranda； but different。 She moved backward into the deeper shadows。 She was sure of herself。 His foot snapped a twig。 He lost sight of her。 She moved； and he found her again。 The shadows streamed like water。
He followed her further and further away from South Sector。 The light dwindled。 She paused。 She didn't stop； only let him catch up。 She stayed in motion； latticed by shadows。
〃How did you find me？〃 he said。
She tsk'ed。 He was easy stalking。 And it wasn't her first time。 It rattled him。 She had watched him slouching on the border of light。 He felt foolish。
〃I e here to think；〃 he said。
She wouldn't quit moving。 She paced。 He had to twist in circles to follow her。
〃Why throw yourself away？〃 she said。
〃I'm not。〃
〃You want to。〃
〃Want；〃 he said bitterly。 〃Everything I want； I can't have。 I'm faking it。〃
〃It's stupid。〃 She was angry。 Her hand shoved at him。 He stumbled。
She started to push him again； but this time Nathan Lee caught her wrist。 It felt like he was falling or holding on for dear life。 Miranda could have jerked from his grip。 Instead； she pulled； but not to pull away。 She drew him in。
Later they would make a game of it； each accusing the other of stealing the first kiss。 Then they would take turns laying claim to it。 Then they would start over with each other all over again； telling and retelling their beginning until finally it felt woven into the myth of them。 All lovers do it； creating the world fresh around them。 The only difference is that some have less time for it than others。 And so they hurried to catch up with themselves。
27
Golgotha
OCTOBER
Someone snuck into the yard one night and hung a crucifix in a crook of the tree。 By the time Nathan Lee arrived in next morning； the yard was empty。 The damage was done。 Izzy stood by the tree。
〃The clones took one look and bolted for the door；〃 Izzy told him。 〃Now they won't e out。〃
Nathan Lee plucked the crucifix from the crook of branches。 The little figurine had its arms cast wide。 The culprit had been Catholic； or stolen it from one。 Protestants worshipped empty crosses； the transformation not the suffering。 〃Who would go to the trouble？〃 He held the thing in his hands。 〃And why？〃
〃Maybe it was meant as a gift；〃 said Izzy。 〃Or a token of their Lord's Prayer； to declare solidarity。 Modern Christian to primitive Christian。 Probably nothing malicious。〃
His mind had been full of Miranda； her lean body； her green eyes。 He didn't want the interference。 He tossed the crucifix into the fire。 〃Now what？〃
〃Let's just explain it to them；〃 Izzy wisecracked。 〃Boys； we've made a religion about a corpse nailed on wood。〃
They had discussed it before。 Even the primal Christians in the group wouldn't buy it。 The worship of the crucifixion hadn't evolved for many centuries after the early Church began。 The actual practice had needed to end before its adoration could begin。
〃They think it's an omen of things to e；〃 said Izzy。 〃If they had doubts before； they don't anymore。 This is hell。 They're in the hands of demons。〃
The supernatural world was utterly real to them。 Nathan Lee had heard it over and over in their testimonies to home。 Demons were to blame for everything； for the cold air； for stomach and headaches； for strange noises on the far side of the co
