jefflong.yearzero-第67章
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her behavior had everything to do with the captivity she had endured since birth。 People kept alluding to her Neandertal differences； as if she were impaired or separate； and that stung Nathan Lee。 But the fact was that in the midst of one of her fits； Tara was a dangerous little brute； and she didn't belong mixing with other children in the city； not yet； maybe not ever。
And so； he brought her to the horse。 He would have brought the horse to her； in the yard； but she had never been allowed into the yard。 For one thing it was occupied by the other clones all day； every day； and the therapists…and Nathan Lee's instincts…ruled against introducing the girl to the men from Year Zero。 They might very well treat her like a little sister； but on the other hand they were walking wounded themselves。 At best； the insertion of a female child would probably have stirred expectations that their own womenfolk were about to arrive。 At worst； they were crucified men。 Nathan Lee was still uncertain about the extent of some of their crimes。
Tara's visit had been arranged in advance。 The Special Forces camp was set on several acres to the east of the abandoned testing facility； and for today's visit they had tethered the appaloosa in the middle of nowhere； far from any human distraction。 No one else was out there。
Nathan Lee and Tara took their time walking out across the warm tan soil。 She kept stopping； fascinated by the grasshoppers and ladybugs and rocks。 He rubbed sprigs of sagebrush for her to smell。 〃Look！〃 she kept saying。 He didn't tell her about the horse。 He let her discover the animal herself。
Tara grew very still at the sight of the appaloosa。 The horse was browsing clumps of dry grass； her long tail sailing back and forth。 They had saddled her。 Her mane was groomed。 She was beautiful。
〃Should we go a little closer？〃 Nathan Lee asked。
Tara held his hand。 She was fearful； the way any child would be； all wide eyes and quiet before the majesty of the giant animal。 She clutched her blond Barbie doll in one brown fist。
The appaloosa went on cropping the grass； though her ears swiveled at their approach。 They got close。
〃Touch her；〃 Nathan Lee said； running his hands along the white…and…black spotted flanks。 Tara laid a fingertip on the muscled bellows of a rib cage。 The horse lifted her head to see the small creature； and Tara shied against Nathan Lee。
〃She wants to get a look at you；〃 he said。 〃She wants to smell you。〃 The big nostrils flexed and blew。 〃I think she likes you。〃
Tara was speechless。
〃Look； you have the same hair；〃 said Nathan Lee。 He raised one forearm through the dirty white mane and let the coarse hair cascade off。 Tara worked her fingers through it； awestruck by her connection with the magical beast。
Nathan Lee had brought a treat from the farmer's market in Los Alamos。 People had built greenhouses on the tops of apartment buildings and dug plots in the parks and cleared spaces in the forest。 The growing season had been unusually long this year。 For the last several weeks； you could trade for peas in the pod； green and red chiles； ears of yellow and Indian corn； round cannonballs of cantaloupe that tasted like wet sugar； squash； heads of lettuce； basil； thyme； onions。。。and fat sticks of carrots。 〃Here。〃
He helped Tara with the first carrot。 Together they offered it to the horse； and she took it with muscular lips。 Her big teeth munched it。 She nuzzled for more。 After that Tara didn't need his help。 Horse and girl； they had found each other。
〃Should we ride her a little？〃
It was inprehensible to the child。 He might have saidlet's fly。 Nathan Lee got into the saddle first； then reached down for Tara。 Not yet five； and she must have weighed sixty pounds； all muscle。
With his arms around the child； Nathan Lee nudged the horse to motion。 The girl was trembling。 〃Should we stop？〃 he asked。
〃No；〃 she whispered。
They took a slow loop out to the mesa rim。 On the way back； he showed her how to hold the reins。 They dismounted。 〃Would you like a little more？〃 he said。
〃More；〃 she whispered。
He took the saddle off； and the blanket。 He lifted Tara onto the broad； warm back and walked the Appaloosa for miles。 At the end of the day； he led her to the Special Forces camp。 〃Can Tara e ride your horse again？〃 he asked the soldiers。
Tara was breathless； waiting up there。
One of them came over and stroked the appaloosa。 〃I think that would be a good idea。〃 The soldier pretended to talk to the horse。 〃What do you think？〃
Tara's eyes widened。 The animal could speak？
Just then a fly landed on the horse's nose。 The Appaloosa tossed her head up and down。 The answer was plain as day。 The little girl looked thunderstruck。 Nathan Lee let her sit up there for a while longer。 That night he dreamed of that happy day。
26
Wolves and Lambs
ONEWEEKLATER
Few of the crucified men talked about the manner of their dying or what came after。 Not unnaturally； the threatened citizens of Los Alamos were burning to know about it。 They pestered Nathan Lee on the streets； by e…mail or phone； asking him to ask more about that 〃death thing。〃 They wanted some glimpse of what it was like； 〃the king of terrors〃 as the Bible put it； 〃a little sleep； a little slumber； a little folding of the hands for sleep。〃 Nathan Lee dreaded to ask； though。 He had passed among the bones。 He had heard them whistle。
Over the summer Los Alamos had largely lost touch with America。 Information technology had not decayed limb by neat regional limb； as some had predicted。 The crash had been catastrophic。 One day they had transmissions from St。 George and Lincoln and Laramie； frightened talking heads； meandering video tours。 The next； their eyes were blind。 The transmissions just ceased。 There were sporadic bursts from shortwave guerrillas； and the satellites were jam…packed with backdated images and data they had yet to excavate。 But it was suddenly like nightfall out there； as if America had plunged into the darkness of Asia and Africa and Europe。 Even so； Nathan Lee clung to his hope。 He refused to believe silence meant emptiness。 People…towns； enclaves； tribes…were in hiding； that was all。 There was life out there。 And his daughter。 Life； that was the question he wanted answers for； not death。
The few times he did ask about the clones' deaths and what lay beyond； the men would evade answering。 〃You know as well as me；〃 they would say。 It wasn't that they'd forgotten。 Their faces grew dark。 Their eyes smoldered。 They remembered； but did not want to。 With time； Nathan Lee prehended that hanging from the cross had been a gruesome humiliation。 No matter how much agony they had endured on the cross； it was their memory of the shame that still hurt them most。 Naked and reviled； they had been stripped of their reputations； their names； and their lands。 Their families had been damned by their deaths； and they knew it。 And so they glossed over the dying part。
Nathan Lee was struck by their dignity。 As their scribe； he listened to them dictate letters home about their new life； and they generally treated their rebirth as a grand achievement； or a fresh start； a new land； an opportunity。 They viewed themselves as pioneers； or at least fellow travelers。 Their imprisonment by strange demons was simply part of the journey。 It wouldn't last forever。 They acted as if their herds and orchards and businesses were still intact back in the old life。 Some went into great detail about how they wanted their wives or brothers or sons to attend to daily affairs in their absence。 〃Pay no more than three shekels；〃 one instructed his wife； 〃and be sure not to speak with Elias。 I never trusted his eyes。 And whatever you do； don't invite him here。〃
All day long； Nathan Lee sat with his back against the tree； listening to their stories； taking notes。 By the fifth week； he could understand so much of their language that Izzy was freed for hours at a stretch。 This suited Izzy； who enjoyed slumming among the clones。 The courtyard would suddenly ring with laughter； and usually Izzy was at the center of it。 Later he would try to explain the jokes to Nathan Lee。 Often they had something to do with talking fish or traveling salesmen
