jdavid.footprintsofthunder-第14章

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　She　only　grew　flowers　now。　She　used　to　grow　vegetables　till　people　began　stealing　them。　She　wouldn't　have　minded　if　they　ate　them；　but　most　of　them　were　smashed　against　walls　or　thrown　through　windows。　Still；　the　flowers　were　pretty　and　a　stark　contrast　to　the　ugliness　of　the　asphalt　and　Dumpsters。　Mariel　loved　the　garden；　but　it　was　harder　to　grow　things　ever　since　the　high　rise　went　up　across　the　courtyard。　It　was　an　office　building；　all　glass　and　steel。　Mariel　hated　its　sealed　glass　windows。
　Once　long　ago；　Mariel　had　a　friend　who　lived　in　the　building　that　used　to　be　where　the　office　building　now　stood。　Sometimes　when　the　kids　were　at　school；　Marie！　would　meet　Gertie　for　coffee　and　talk。　In　the　summers　their　kids　played　in　the　courtyard　together；　and　Mariel　and　Gertie　would　visit　or　garden。　Gertie　moved　to　Florida　years　ago　and　was　long　dead　now；　and　the　building　she　lived　in　was　ten　years　gone。
　Mariel's　life　in　the　apartment　had　started　out　quietly；　just　her　and　Phillip。　Then　the　children　had　e；　filling　their　lives　with　activity　and　stress；　stress　she　missed　now。　When　the　three　children　were　growing　up　Mariel　had　lots　of　friends；　most　of　them　the　parents　of　their　children's　friends。　Phillip's　work　gave　them　friends　too。　There　was　business　entertaining　and　dinner　parties。　If　they　weren't　guests；　they　were　hosts。　They　were　involved　in　their　children's　schools　too。　School　plays；　music　lessons；　and　a　myriad　of　other　activities　kept　them　constantly　on　the　go。　Mariel　had　scarcely　a　minute　to　herself　in　those　days　and　relished　the　few　hours　a　week　she　could　sit　by　the　window　and　listen　to　the　sounds。　Then　the　children　had　grown。　Now　they　all　lived　in　other　states　and　called　infrequently。　She　had　Phillip　for　a　few　years　after　the　children　were　gone；　and　many　friends　still；　mostly　connected　with　Phillip's　work。　Then　Phillip　died　suddenly；　and　with　him　went　the　parties　and　many　of　her　friends。　Soon　all　Mariel　had　were　acquaintances；　no　friends。　Now　she　only　went　out　three　times　a　week；　and　then　only　to　do　shopping。　She　used　to　go　to　church　on　Sunday；　but　then　the　church　had　closed　and　moved　to　a　new　location　in　a　better　neighborhood。　Now　Mariel　watched　church　on　TV；　but　it　was　hard　to　make　church　friends　through　a　TV。　Her　life　was　quiet　now；　like　the　end　of　the　arguments　she　listened　to　over　the　years。　Mariel　longed　for　the　activity　again；　for　someone　to　argue　with。
　Mariel　looked　up　at　the　sky　for　stars。　But　the　bright　moon　and　city　lights　meant　she　couldn't　see　any。　The　city　wasn't　the　place　to　look　at　stars；　Mariel　knew。　She　never　had　a　good　view；　of　course；　but　when　she　had　something　to　do；　something　to　occupy　her　time；　she　never　thought　about　stars。
　Now　Mariel　thought　about　the　stars　and　the　moon；　and　other　things；　a　lot。　Her　oldest　son　wanted　her　to　move　to　Ohio　with　him。　She　could　see　the　stars　there；　he　assured　her。　But　she　didn't　want　that。　She　didn't　want　a　piece　of　his　life。　She　wanted　her　own　life；　even　if　it　was　mostly　memories　now。　No；　she　would　live　in　the　apartment　until　she　became　a　memory　too。
　Mariel　turned　on　the　TV　and　flipped　through　the　channels　with　the　remote　control。　As　usual　there　was　nothing　on　she　wanted　to　watch。　Sometimes　she　thought　of　getting　cable　TV。　The　television　guide　told　her　she　could　get　shows　like　〃Father　Knows　Best〃　and　〃Mr。　Ed〃　on　cable。　It　was　expensive；　though；　and　she　hated　paying　for　what　she　should　be　getting　for　free。　She　finally　settled　the　dial　on　a　situation　edy。　The　laugh　track　told　her　the　jokes　were　supposed　to　be　funny；　but　they　weren't。　They　were　bathroom　jokes　for　the　most　part；　and　Mariel　had　never　liked　that　kind　of　humor　and　she　didn't　appreciate　the　filthy　language　in　her　home。　She　turned　the　channel　to　a　TV　movie。　A　young　couple　were　kissing　open…mouthed。　The　woman　was　naked　from　the　waist　up；　and　Mariel　could　see　the　side　of　her　left　breast　pressed　up　against　the　man's　bare　chest。　Mariel　had　been　shocked　the　first　time　she　had　seen　this　on　TV；　but　now　it　was　routine　and　boring。　She　supposed　the　networks　would　soon　have　to　show　all　of　the　actress's　breast　to　keep　people　interested；　and　she　only　hoped　she　wouldn't　live　long　enough　to　have　that　on　her　TV　screen。　She　clucked　her　tongue　at　the　half…naked　couple；　then　turned　the　channel　just　as　the　couple　fell　onto　a　bed。　She　tried　the　rest　of　the　channels　but　it　was　more　of　the　same。
　Mariel　turned　off　the　TV　and　turned　on　the　radio。　There　was　lots　of　filth　on　the　radio　now　too；　but　you　could　still　find　something　worth　listening　to　if　you　searched。　They　ran　old　radio　shows　sometimes；　and　there　was　big　band　music　if　she　wanted　that。　Tonight；　though；　she　wanted　to　listen　to　talk；　and　there　was　lots　of　talk　on　the　New　York　City　airwaves。　Mariel　tuned　in　one　of　her　favorites。　She　wasn't　loyal　to　any　of　the　shows。　If　they　talked　of　sex　or　politics；　or　if　they　ran　down　religion；　she　would　tune　them　out。　Mariel　had　long　ago　settled　her　opinions　on　all　those　topics。
　Tonight　people　were　calling　in　with　movie　trivia　questions　or　just　to　talk　about　favorite　scenes　from　films。　Mariel　settled　in　to　listen。　For　a　while　they　talked　about　last　lines　in　movies。　Mariel　knew　the　last　line　in　The　Wizard　of　Oz　right　away；　it　was　〃Oh；　Auntie　Em；　there's　no　place　like　home。〃　She　also　knew　the　last　line　from　Gone　With　the　Wind；　but　it　took　three　callers　to　get　〃tomorrow　is　another　day。〃　Everyone　kept　guessing　〃Frankly；　my　dear；　I　don't　give　a　damn。〃　Mariel　was　enjoying　the　movie　memories；　trying　to　remember　where　and　with　whom　she　had　seen　the　movie。　Then　someone　changed　the　topic　to　actors　who　played　James　Bond。　Mariel　had　seen　some　of　the　James　Bond　movies　with　Phillip　but　never　liked　them。　They　were　too　violent；　and　Mr。　Bond　was　certainly　oversexed。　Still；　she　remembered　both　Sean　Connery　and　Roger　Moore　had　played　James　Bond。　Someone　called　in　to　say　that　David　Niven　had　played　James　Bond　too；　in　a　movie　called　Casino　Royal。　She'd　never　seen　it　but　couldn't　imagine　David　Niven　as　James　Bond。　David　Niven　was　a　gentleman；　he　wouldn't　behave　like　that　secret　agent。　She　would　have　searched　for　another　station；　but　she　was　waiting　to　hear　who　the　fourth　actor　was　who　played　James　Bond。　She　was　still　rocking；　crocheting；　and　listening　by　her　open　window　when　she　drifted　off　to　sleep。
　
　Mariel　woke　when　her　head　hit　the　floor；　but　she　kept　her　eyes　tightly　shut　till　the　pain　and　shock　subsided。　Opening　her　eyes　to　total　darkness；　Mariel　found　herself　and　her　chair　tipped　over　onto　the　floor；　and　the　only　light　was　moonlight　from　the　window。　The　power　was　out　again。　Mariel　still　hurt　from　the　fall…　and　because　she　was　old；　she　admitted　it　to　herself；　she　knew　there　was　real　danger　of　breaking　bones　from　even　a　small　fall。
　She　lay　still；　waiting　for　the　pain　to　seep　away　so　she　could　feel　her　bones；　but　now　she　began　to　think　she　was　deaf。　There　were　no　city　sounds　as　there　should　be　outside　her　window。　Mariel　felt　her　legs　and　arms。　She　would　be　sore　for　a　month　but　nothing　was　broken。　She　felt　around　on　the　floor　for　her　glasses；　found　them　in　one　piece；　and　put　them　on。　Then　she　got　slowly　to　her　feet。
　She　needed　candles　and　they　were　in　the　hall　linen　closet。　Mariel　started　forward；　confident　of　her　footing　even　in　the　dark；　but　she　took　only　two　steps　before　she　kicked　something　on　the　floor。　She　bent　down　and　picked　up　the　blue　vase　from　her　end　table。　Whatever　had　knocked　Mariel　over　had　knocked　off　her　vase；　Mariel　proceeded　cautiously　after　that　and　found　the　floor　littered　with　lamps；　pillows；　and　knickknacks。　The　contents　of　her　apartment　had　been　tossed　around；　as　if　by　a　hurricane。　Slowly　she　walked　down　the　hall　to　the　closet；　carefully　testing　the　floor　before　she　placed　each　foot。
　The　candles　were　where　they　should　be　and　she　found　a　holder　with　them。　Unfortunately　the　matches　were　in　the　kitchen。
　The　candlelight　lit　up　the　room　like　a　search　light。　It　was　a　mess。　Dishes　and　canned　goods　had　fallen　from　the　cupboards；　littering　the　floor　and　counters。　Mariel　lit　another　candle；　securing　it　with　dripped　wax　on　a　plate。　In　the　living　room　she　set　up　two　more　candles　and　then　used　the　one　in　the　holder　to　look　for　her　portable　radio　in　her　bedroom。
　There　she　found　broken　glass　all　over　her　bedspread　and　on　th