dk.intensity-第57章

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wl　that　might　be　torn　off　and　cast　aside。　Profoundly　alone；　unloved　and　lost；　she　spiraled　down　into　a　mental　mirror　maze　without　even　her　father's　name　for　fort。
　After　a　while；　an　engine　roared。　She　heard　the　brassy　toot　of　a　horn：　two　short　blasts　and　then　two　more。
　Chyna　lifted　her　head；　looked　through　the　nearby　window；　and　saw　the　headlights　of　a　car　leaving　the　barn。　Her　vision　was　blurred　by　tears。　She　couldn't　see　the　car　itself　as　it　sped　past　the　house　in　the　gray　dusk；　but　it　must　be　driven　by　Vess；　of　course。　Then　it　was　gone。
　The　jaunty　toot　of　the　horn　mocked　her；　but　that　mockery　wasn't　enough　to　rekindle　her　anger。
　She　stared　out　at　the　gloaming　and　didn't　care　that　it　might　be　the　last　twilight　she　ever　saw。　She　cared　only　that　she　had　spent　too　much　of　her　twenty…six　years　alone；　with　no　one　at　her　side　to　share　the　sunsets；　the　starry　skies；　the　turbulent　beauty　of　storm　clouds。　She　wished　that　she　had　reached　out　to　people　more；　instead　of　retreating　inward；　wished　that　she　had　not　made　her　heart　into　a　sheltering　closet。　Now；　when　nothing　mattered　any　more；　when　the　insight　couldn't　do　her　any　damn　good　at　all；　she　realized　that　there　was　less　hope　of　survival　alone　than　with　others。　She'd　been　acutely　aware　that　terror；　betrayal；　and　cruelty　had　a　human　face；　but　she　had　not　sufficiently　appreciated　that　courage；　kindness；　and　love　had　a　human　face　as　well。　Hope　wasn't　a　cottage　industry；　it　was　neither　a　product　that　she　could　man…ufacture　like　needlepoint　samplers　nor　a　substance　she　could　secrete；　in　her　cautious　solitude；　like　a　maple　tree　producing　the　essence　of　syrup。　Hope　was　to　be　found　in　other　people；　by　reaching　out；　by　taking　risks；　by　opening　her　fortress　heart。
　This　insight　seemed　so　obvious；　the　simplest　of　wisdom；　yet　she　had　not　been　able　to　arrive　at　it　until　in　extremis。
　And　the　chance　had　long　ago　passed　to　act　upon　it。　She　would　die　as　she　had　lived…alone。　This　further　realization　might　have　wrung　greater　rivers　of　tears　from　her　but；　instead；　drove　her　into　a　bleaker　place　than　she'd　been　before；　an　interior　garden　of　stone　and　ashes。
　Then；　as　she　was　still　gazing　out　the　window；　she　saw　something　moving　in　the　last　of　the　dusk。　Though　it　was　blurred　by　her　tears；　she　could　see　that　it　was　too　large　to　be　a　Doberman。
　But　if　Vess　had　gone；　how　could　it　be　a　man？
　Chyna　blotted　her　eyes　on　the　sleeve　of　her　sweater；　and　she　blinked　until　the　mysterious　shape　resolved　out　of　tears　and　twilight　shadows。　It　was　an　elk。　A　female；　without　antlers。
　It　ambled　across　the　backyard；　from　the　forested　foothills　to　the　west；　pausing　twice　to　tear　up　a　mouthful　of　the　succulent　grass。　As　Chyna　knew　from　her　months　on　the　ranch　in　Mendocino　County　many　years　ago；　these　animals　were　highly　sociable　and　always　traveled　in　herds；　but　this　one　seemed　to　be　alone。
　The　Dobermans　should　have　been　after　this　intruder；　barking　and　snarling　and　excited　by　the　prospect　of　blood。　Surely　the　dogs　would　be　able　to　smell　it　even　from　the　farthest　corners　of　the　property。　Yet　no　Dobermans　were　in　sight。
　Likewise；　the　elk　should　have　caught　the　scent　of　the　dogs　and　galloped　at　once　for　safety；　wild…eyed　and　snorting。　Nature　had　made　its　kind　prey　to　mountain　lions　and　wolves　and　packs　of　coyotes；　as　dinner…on…the…hoof　to　so　many　predators；　elk　were　always　watchful　and　cautious。
　But　this　specimen　seemed　utterly　unconcerned　that　dogs　were　in　the　immediate　neighborhood。　Except　for　the　two　brief　pauses　to　graze　on　the　lush　grass；　it　came　directly　to　the　back　porch；　with　no　sign　of　skittishness。
　Although　Chyna　was　not　a　wildlife　expert；　this　seemed　to　her　to　be　a　coastal　elk；　the　same　type　she　had　encountered　in　the　grove　of　redwoods。　Its　coat　was　gray…brown；　and　it　had　the　familiar　white　and　black　markings　on　the　body　and　face。
　Yet　she　was　sure　that　this　place　was　too　far　from　the　sea　to　be　a　suitable　home　for　coastal　elk　or　to　provide　the　ideal　vegetation　for　their　diet。　When　she'd　gotten　out　of　the　motor　home；　she'd　had　an　impression　of　mountains　all　around。　Now　the　rain　had　stopped　and　the　mist　had　lifted；　in　the　west；　where　the　dregs　of　daylight　swiftly　drained　away；　the　black　silhouettes　of　high　peaks　pressed　against　tattered　clouds　and　electric…purple　sky。　With　a　mountain　range　of　such　formidable　size　between　here　and　the　Pacific　Ocean；　coastal　elk　could　not　have　found　their　way　so　far　inland；　for　they　were　basically　a　lowland　breed　partial　to　plains　and　gentle　hills。　This　must　be　a　different　type　of　elk…although　with　coloration　strikingly　similar　to　that　of　the　animals　she　had　seen　the　previous　night。
　The　imposing　creature　stood　outside　the　wooden　balustrade　of　the　shallow　porch；　no　more　than　eight　feet　away；　staring　directly　at　the　window。　At　Chyna。
　She　found　it　difficult　to　believe　that　the　elk　could　see　her。　With　the　lights　off；　the　kitchen　was　currently　darker　than　the　dusk　in　which　the　animal　stood。　From　its　perspective；　the　interior　of　the　house　should　have　been　unrelievedly　black。
　Yet　she　couldn't　deny　that　its　eyes　met　hers。　Large　dark　eyes；　shining　softly。
　Mie　remembered　Vess's　sudden　return　to　the　kitchen　this　morningHe'd　been　inexplicably　tense；　ceaselessly　turning　the　screwdriver　in　his　hand；　an　odd　light　in　his　eyes。　And　he'd　been　full　of　questions　about　the　elk　in　the　redwood　grove。
　Chyna　didn't　know　why　the　elk　mattered　to　Vess　any　more　than　she　could　imagine　why　this　one　stood　here；　now；　unchallenged　by　the　dogs；　studying　her　intently　through　the　window。　She　didn't　puzzle　long　over　this　mystery。　She　was　in　a　mood　to　accept；　to　experience；　to　admit　that　understanding　was　not　always　achievable。
　As　the　deep…purple　sky　turned　to　indigo　and　then　to　India　ink；　the　eyes　of　the　elk　grew　gradually　more　luminous。　They　were　not　red　like　the　eyes　of　some　animals　at　night；　but　golden。
　Pale　plumes　of　breath　streamed　rhythmically　from　its　wet　black　nostrils。
　Without　breaking　eye　contact　with　the　animal；　Chyna　pressed　the　insides　of　her　wrists　together　as　best　she　could　with　the　handcuffs　intervening。　The　steel　chains　rattled：　all　the　lengths　between　her　and　the　chair　on　which　she　sat；　between　her　and　the　table；　between　her　and　the　past。
　She　remembered　her　solemn　pledge；　earlier　in　the　day；　to　kill　herself　rather　than　be　a　witness　to　the　plete　mental　destruction　of　the　young　girl　in　the　cellar。　She　had　believed　that　she　would　be　able　to　find　the　courage　to　bite　open　the　veins　in　her　wrists　and　bleed　to　death。　The　pain　would　be　sharp　but　relatively　brief。。。　and　then　she　would　fade　sleepily　from　this　blackness　into　another；　which　would　be　eternal。
　She　had　stopped　crying。　Her　eyes　were　dry。　Her　heartbeat　was　surprisingly　slow；　like　that　of　a　sleeper　in　the　dreamless　rest　provided　by　a　powerful　sedative。
　She　raised　her　hands　in　front　of　her　face；　bending　them　backward　as　severely　as　possible　and　spreading　her　fingers　wide　so　she　could　still　gaze　into　the　eyes　of　the　elk。
　She　brought　her　mouth　to　the　place　on　her　left　wrist　where　she　would　have　to　bite。　Her　breath　was　warm　on　her　cool　skin。
　The　light　was　entirely　gone　from　the　day。　The　mountains　and　the　heavens　were　like　one　great　black　looming　swell　on　a　night　sea；　a　drowning　weight　ing　down。
　The　elk's　heart…shaped　face　was　barely　visible　from　a　distance　of　only　eight　feet。　Its　eyes；　however；　shone。
　Chyna　put　her　lips　against　her　left　wrist。　In　the　kiss；　she　felt　her　dangerously　steady　pulse。
　Through　the　gloom；　she　and　the　sentinel　elk　watctleci　eacn　otner；　and　she　didn't　know　whether　this　creature　had　mesmerized　her　or　she　had　mesmerized　it。
　Then　she　pressed　her　lips　to　her　right　wrist。　The　same　coolness　of　skin；　the　same　ponderous　pulse。
　She　parted　her　lips　and　used　her　teeth　to　pinch　a　thickness　of　flesh。　There　seemed　to　be　enough　tissue　gathered　between　her　incisors　to　make　a　mortal　tear。　Certainly　she　would　be　successful　if　she　bit　a　second　time；　a　third。
　On　the　brink　of　the　bite；　she　understood　that　it　required　no　courage　whatsoever。　Precisely　the　opposite　was　true。　Not　biting　was　an　act　of　valor。
　But　she　didn't　care　about　valor；　didn't　give　a　rat's　ass　about　courage。　Or　about　anything。　All　she　cared　about　was　putting　an　end　to　the　loneliness；　the　pain；　the　achingl