dk.nightchills-第9章

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ter　order　than　his　mother　had　kept　the　china　closet。
　Three　and　a　half　years　ago；　after　Annie　died　and　left　him　with　the　children；　his　need　for　order　and　neatness　had　bee　almost　neurotic。　On　a　Wednesday　afternoon；　ten　months　after　the　funeral；　when　he　caught　himself　rearranging　the　contents　of　a　cabinet　in　his　veterinary　clinic　for　the　seventh　time　in　two　hours；　he　realized　that　his　pulsion　for　neatness　could　bee　a　refuge　from　life　and　especially　from　grief。　Alone　in　the　clinic；　standing　before　an　array　of　instruments…forceps；　syringes；　scalpels…he　cried　for　the　first　time　since　he　learned　Annie　was　dead。　Under　the　misguided　belief　that　he　had　to　hide　his　grief　from　the　children　in　order　to　provide　them　with　an　example　of　strength；　he　had　never　given　vent　to　the　powerful　emotions　that　the　loss　of　his　wife　had　engendered。　Now　he　cried；　shook；　and　raged　at　the　cruelty　of　it。　He　rarely　used　foul　language；　but　now　he　strung　together　all　the　vile　words　and　phrases
　that　he　knew；　cursing　God　and　the　universe　and　life…and　himself。　After　that；　his　pulsive　neatness　ceased　to　be　a　neurosis　and　became；　again；　just　another　facet　of　his　character；　which　frustrated　some　people　and　charmed　others。
　Someone　knocked　on　the　bedroom　door。
　He　turned　away　from　the　window。　〃e　in。〃
　Rya　opened　the　door。　〃It's　seven　o'clock；　Daddy。　Suppertime。〃
　In　faded　red　jeans　and　a　short…sleeved　white　sweater；　with　her　dark　hair　falling　past　her　shoulders；　she　looked　startlingly　like　her　mother。　She　tilted　her　head　to　one　side；　just　as　Annie　use　to　do；　as　if　trying　to　guess　what　he　was　thinking。
　〃Is　Mark　ready？〃
　〃Oh；〃　she　said；　〃he　was　ready　an　hour　ago。　He's　in　the　kitchen；　getting　in　Sam's　way。〃
　〃Then　we'd　better　get　down　there。　Knowing　Mark's　appetite；　I'd　say　he　has　half　the　food　eaten　already。〃
　As　he　came　toward　her；　she　stepped　back　a　pace。　〃You　look　absolutely　marvelous；　Daddy。〃
　He　smiled　at　her　and　lightly　pinched　her　cheek。　If　she　had　been　plimenting　Mark；　she　would　have　said　that　he　looked　〃super；〃　but　she　wanted　him　to　know　that　she　was　judging　him　by　grown…up　standards；　and　she　had　used　grown…up　language。
　〃You　really　think　so？〃　he　asked。
　〃Jenny　won't　be　able　to　resist　you；〃　she　said。
　He　made　a　face　at　her。
　〃It's　true；〃　Rya　said。
　〃What　makes　you　think　I　care　whether　or　not　Jenny　can　resist　me？〃
　Her　expression　said　he　should　stop　treating　her　as　a　child。　〃When　Jenny　came　down　to　Boston　in　March；　you　were　altogether　different。〃
　〃Different　from　what？〃
　〃Different　from　the　way　you　usually　are。　For　two　whole　weeks；〃　she　said；　〃when　you　came　home　from　the　clinic；　you　didn't　once　grump　about　sick　poodles　and　Siamese　cats。〃
　〃Well；　that's　because　the　only　patients　I　had　for　those　two　weeks　were　elephants　and　giraffes。〃
　〃Oh；　daddy。〃
　〃And　a　pregnant　kangaroo。〃
　Rya　sat　on　the　bed。　〃Are　you　going　to　ask　her　to　marry　you？〃
　〃The　kangaroo？〃
　She　grinned；　partly　at　the　joke　and　partly　at　the　way　he　was　trying　to　evade　the　question。　〃I'm　not　sure　I'd　like　a　kangaroo　for　a　mother；〃　she　said。　〃But　if　the　baby　is　yours；　you're　going　to　have　to　marry　her　if　you　want　to　do　the　right　thing。〃
　〃I　swear　it's　not　mine；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　not　romantically　inclined　toward　kangaroos。〃
　〃Toward　Jenny？〃　she　asked。
　〃Whether　or　nor　I'm　attracted　to　her；　the　important　question　is　whether　Jenny　likes　me。〃
　〃You　don't　know？〃　Rya　asked。　〃Well　。　。　。　I'll　find　out　for　you。〃
　Teasing　her；　he　said；　〃How　will　you　do　that？〃
　〃Ask　her。〃
　〃And　make　me　look　like　Miles　Standish？〃
　〃Oh；　no；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　be　subtle　about　it。〃　She　got　up　from　the　bed　and　went　to　the　door。　〃Mark　must　have　eaten　three…fourths　of　the　food　by　now。〃
　〃Rya？〃
　She　looked　back　at　him。
　〃Do　you　like　Jenny？〃
　She　grinned。　〃Oh；　very　much。〃
　For　seven　years；　since　Mark　was　two　and　Rya　four；　the　Annendales　had　been　taking　their　summer　vacation　in　the　mountains　above　Black　River。　Paul　wanted　to　municate　to　his　children　his　own　love　of　wild　places　and　wild　things。　During　these　four…　and　six…week　vacations；　he　educated　them　in　the　ways　of　nature　so　that　they　might　know　the　satisfaction　of　being　in　harmony　with　it。　This　was　a　joyous　education；　and　they　looked　forward　to　each　outing。
　The　year　that　Annie　died；　he　almost　canceled　the　trip。　At
　first　it　had　seemed　to　him　that　going　without　her　would　only　make　their　loss　more　evident。　Rya　had　convinced　him　otherwise。　〃It's　like　Mommy　is　still　in　this　house；〃　Rya　had　said。　〃When　I　go　from　one　room　to　another；　I　expect　to　find　her　there；　all　pale　and　drawn　like　she　was　near　the　end。　If　we　go　camping　up　beyond　Black　River；　I　guess　maybe　I'll　expect　to　see　her　in　the　woods　too；　but　at　least　I　won't　expect　to　see　her　pale　and　drawn。　When　we　went　to　Black　River；　she　was　so　pretty　and　healthy。　And　she　was　always　so　happy　when　we　were　out　in　the　forest。〃　Because　of　Rya；　they　took　their　vacation　as　usual　that　year；　and　it　proved　to　be　the　best　thing　they　could　have　done。
　The　first　year　that　he　and　Annie　took　the　children　to　Black　River；　they　bought　their　dry　goods　and　supplies　at　Edison's　General　Store。　Mark　and　Rya　had　fallen　in　love　with　Sam　Edison　the　day　they　met　him。　Annie　and　Paul　came　under　his　spell　nearly　as　quickly。　By　the　end　of　their　four…week　vacation；　they　had　e　down　from　the　mountain　twice　to　have　dinner　at　Edison's；　and　when　they　left　for　home　they　had　promised　to　keep　in　touch　with　an　occasional　letter。　The　following　year；　Sam　told　them　that　they　were　not　to　go　up　into　the　mountains　to　set　up　camp　after　the　long　tiring　drive　from　Boston。　Instead；　he　insisted　they　spend　the　night　at　his　place　and　get　a　fresh　start　in　the　morning。　That　first…night　stop…over　had　bee　their　yearly　routine。　By　now　Sam　was　like　a　grandfather　to　Rya　and　Mark。　For　the　past　two　years；　Paul　had　brought　the　children　north　to　spend　Christmas　week　at　Edison's。
　Paul　had　met　Jenny　Edison　just　last　year。　Of　course；　Sam　fiad　mentioned　his　daughter　many　times。　She　had　gone　to　Columbia　and　majored　in　music。　In　her　senior　year　she　married　a　musician　and　moved　to　California　where　he　was　playing　in　a　band。　But　after　more　than　seven　years；　the　marriage　had　turned　sour；　and　she　had　e　home　to　get　her　wits　about　her　and　to　decide　what　she　wanted　to　do　next。　As　proud　a　father　as　he　had　been；　Sam　had　never　shown　pictures　of　her。　That　was　not　his　style。　On　his　first　day　in　Black　River　last　year；　walking　into　Edison's　where　she　was　waiting　on　children　at　the　candy
　counter…and　catching　sight　of　her…Paul　had　for　a　moment　been　unable　to　get　his　breath。
　It　happened　that　quickly　between　them。　Not　love　at　first　sight。　Something　more　fundamental　than　love。　Something　more　basic　that　had　to　e　first；　before　love　could　develop。　Instinctively；　intuitively；　even　though　he　had　been　certain　there　could　be　no　one　after　Annie；　he　had　known　that　she　was　right　for　him。　Jenny　felt　the　attraction　too；　powerfully；　immediately
　…but　almost　unwillingly。
　If　he　had　told　all　of　this　to　Rya；　she　would　have　said；　〃So　why　aren't　you　married？〃　If　life　were　only　that　simple　。
　After　dinner；　while　Sam　and　the　children　washed　the　dishes；　Paul　and　Jenny　retired　to　the　den。　They　propped　their　feet　up　on　an　antique　woodcarver's　bench；　and　he　put　his　arm　around　her　shoulder。　Their　conversation　had　been　free　and　easy　at　the　table；　but　now　it　was　stilted。　She　was　hard　and　angular　under　his　arm；　tense。　Twice；　he　leaned　over　and　kissed　her　gently　on　the　corner　of　the　mouth；　but　she　remained　stiff　and　cool。　He　decided　that　she　was　inhibited　by　the　possibility　that　Rya　or　Mark　or　her　father　might　walk　into　the　room　at　any　moment；　and　he　suggested　they　take　a　drive。
　〃I　don't　know　。　。
　He　stood　up。　〃e　on。　Some　fresh　night　air　will　be　good　for　you。〃
　Outside；　the　night　was　chilly。　As　they　got　in　the　car；　she　said；　〃We　almost　need　the　heater。〃
　〃Not　at　all；〃　he　said。　〃Just　snuggle　up　and　share　body　heat。〃　He　grinned　at　her。　〃Where　to？〃
　〃I　know　a　nice　quiet　little　bar　in　Bexford。〃
　〃I　thought　we　were　staying　out　of　public　places？〃
　〃They　don't　have　the　flu　in　Bexford；〃　she　said。
　〃They　don't？　It's　only　thirty　miles　down　the　road。〃
　She　shrugged。　〃That's　just　one　of　the　curiosities　of　this　plague。〃
　He　put　the　car　in　gear　and　drove　out　into　the　str