da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第15章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　〃Shut　up　and　get　us　out　of　here；　fast　fast　fast。〃
　　〃Sure　thing；　fella；　where　do　you　want　to　go？〃
　　〃Anywhere；　doesn't　matter；〃　shouted　Zaphod；　〃yes　it　does！〃　he　said　again；　〃we　want　to　go　to　the　nearest　place　to　eat！〃
　　〃Sure　thing；〃　said　the　puter　happily　and　a　massive　explosion　rocket　the　bridge。
　　When　Zarniwoop　entered　a　minute　or　so　later　with　a　black　eye；　he　regarded　the　four　wisps　of　smoke　with　interest。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　14
　　
　　Four　inert　bodies　sank　through　spinning　blackness。　Consciousness　had　died；　cold　oblivion　pulled　the　bodies　down　and　down　into　the　pit　of　unbeing。　The　roar　of　silence　echoed　dismally　around　them　and　they　sank　at　last　into　a　dark　and　bitter　sea　of　heaving　red　that　slowly　engulfed　them；　seemingly　for　ever。
　　After　what　seemed　an　eternity　the　sea　receded　and　left　them　lying　on　a　cold　hard　shore；　the　flotsam　and　jetsam　of　the　stream　of　Life；　the　Universe；　and　Everything。
　　Cold　spasms　shook　them；　lights　danced　sickeningly　around　them。　The　cold　hard　shore　tipped　and　span　and　then　stood　still。　It　shone　darkly　…　it　was　a　very　highly　polished　cold　hard　shore。
　　A　green　blur　watched　them　disapprovingly。
　　It　coughed。
　　〃Good　evening；　madam；　gentlemen；〃　it　said；　〃do　you　have　a　reservation？〃
　　Ford　Prefect's　consciousness　snapped　back　like　elastic；　making　his　brain　smart。　He　looked　up　woozily　at　the　green　blur。
　　〃Reservation？〃　he　said　weakly。　〃Yes；　sir；〃　said　the　green　blur。
　　〃Do　you　need　a　reservation　for　the　afterlife？〃
　　In　so　far　as　it　is　possible　for　a　green　blur　to　arch　its　eyebrows　disdainfully；　this　is　what　the　green　blur　now　did。
　　〃Afterlife；　sir？〃　it　said。
　　Arthur　Dent　was　grappling　with　his　consciousness　the　way　one　grapples　with　a　lost　bar　of　soap　in　the　bath。
　　〃Is　this　the　afterlife？〃　he　stammered。
　　〃Well　I　assume　so；〃　said　Ford　Prefect　trying　to　work　out　which　way　was　up。　He　tested　the　theory　that　it　must　lie　in　the　opposite　direction　from　the　cold　hard　shore　on　which　he　was　lying；　and　staggered　to　what　he　hoped　were　his　feet。
　　〃I　mean；〃　he　said；　swaying　gently；　〃there's　no　way　we　could　have　survived　that　blast　is　there？〃
　　〃No；〃　muttered　Arthur。　He　had　raised　himself　on　to　his　elbows　but　it　didn't　seem　to　improve　things。　He　slumped　down　again。
　　〃No；〃　said　Trillian；　standing　up；　〃no　way　at　all。〃
　　A　dull　hoarse　gurgling　sound　came　from　the　floor。　It　was　Zaphod　Beeblebrox　attempting　to　speak。　〃I　certainly　didn't　survive；〃　he　gurgled；　〃I　was　a　total　goner。　Wham　bang　and　that　was　it。〃
　　〃Yeah；　thanks　to　you；〃　said　Ford；　〃We　didn't　stand　a　chance。　We　must　have　been　blown　to　bits。　Arms；　legs　everywhere。〃
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Zaphod　struggling　noisily　to　his　feet。
　　〃If　the　lady　and　gentlemen　would　like　to　order　drinks。。。〃　said　the　green　blur；　hovering　impatiently　beside　them。
　　〃Kerpow；　splat；〃　continued　Zaphod；　〃instantaneously　zonked　into　our　ponent　molecules。　Hey；　Ford；〃　he　said；　identifying　one　of　the　slowly　solidifying　blurs　around　him；　〃did　you　get　that　thing　of　your　whole　life　flashing　before　you？〃
　　〃You　got　that　too？〃　said　Ford；　〃your　whole　life？〃
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃at　least　I　assume　it　was　mine。　I　spent　a　lot　of　time　out　of　my　skulls　you　know。〃
　　He　looked　at　around　him　at　the　various　shapes　that　were　at　last　being　proper　shapes　instead　of　vague　and　wobbling　shapeless　shapes。
　　〃So。。。〃　he　said。
　　〃So　what？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃So　here　we　are；〃　said　Zaphod　hesitantly；　〃lying　dead。。。〃
　　〃Standing；〃　Trillian　corrected　him。
　　〃Er；　standing　dead；〃　continued　Zaphod；　〃in　this　desolate。。。〃
　　〃Restaurant；〃　said　Arthur　Dent　who　had　got　to　his　feet　and　could　now；　much　to　his　surprise；　see　clearly。　That　is　to　say；　the　thing　that　surprised　him　was　not　that　he　could　see；　but　what　he　could　see。
　　〃Here　we　are；〃　continued　Zaphod　doggedly；　〃standing　dead　in　this　desolate。。。〃
　　〃Five　star。。。〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃Restaurant；〃　concluded　Zaphod。
　　〃Odd　isn't　it？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Er；　yeah。〃
　　〃Nice　chandeliers　though；〃　said　Trillian。
　　They　looked　about　themselves　in　bemusement。
　　〃It's　not　so　much　an　afterlife；〃　said　Arthur；　〃more　a　sort　of　apres　vie。〃
　　The　chandeliers　were　in　fact　a　little　on　the　flashy　side　and　the　low　vaulted　ceiling　from　which　they　hung　would　not；　in　an　ideal　Universe；　have　been　painted　in　that　particular　shade　of　deep　turquoise；　and　even　if　it　had　been　it　wouldn't　have　been　highlighted　by　concealed　moodlighting。　This　is　not；　however；　an　ideal　Universe；　as　was　further　evidenced　by　the　eye…crossing　patterns　of　the　inlaid　marble　floor；　and　the　way　in　which　the　fronting　for　the　eighty…yard　long　marble…topped　bar　had　been　made。　The　fronting　for　the　eighty…yard　long　marble…topped　bar　had　been　made　by　stitching　together　nearly　twenty　thousand　Antarean　Mosaic　Lizard　skins；　despite　the　fact　that　the　twenty　thousand　lizards　concerned　had　needed　them　to　keep　their　insides　in。
　　A　few　smartly　dressed　creatures　were　lounging　casually　at　the　bar　or　relaxing　in　the　richly　coloured　body…hugging　seats　that　were　deployed　here　and　there　about　the　bar　area。　A　young　Vl'Hurg　officer　and　his　green　steaming　young　lady　passed　through　the　large　smoked　glass　doors　at　the　far　end　of　the　bar　into　the　dazzling　light　of　the　main　body　of　the　Restaurant　beyond。
　　Behind　Arthur　was　a　large　curtained　bay　window。　He　pulled　aside　the　corner　of　the　curtain　and　looked　out　at　a　landscape　which　under　normal　circumstances　would　have　given　Arthur　the　creeping　horrors。　These　were　not；　however；　normal　circumstances；　for　the　thing　that　froze　his　blood　and　made　his　skin　try　to　crawl　up　his　back　and　off　the　top　of　his　head　was　the　sky。　The　sky　was。。。
　　An　attendant　flunkey　politely　drew　the　curtain　back　into　place。
　　〃All　in　good　time；　sir；〃　he　said。
　　Zaphod's　eyes　flashed。
　　〃Hey；　hang　about　you　dead　guys；〃　he　said；　〃I　think　we're　missing　some　ultra…important　thing　here　you　know。　Something　somebody　said　and　we　missed　it。〃
　　Arthur　was　profoundly　relieved　to　turn　his　attention　from　what　he　had　just　seen。
　　He　said；　〃I　said　it　was　a　sort　of　apres。。。〃
　　〃Yeah；　and　don't　you　wish　you　hadn't？〃　said　Zaphod；　〃Ford？〃
　　〃I　said　it　was　odd。〃
　　〃Yeah；　shrewd　but　dull；　perhaps　it　was。。。〃
　　〃Perhaps；〃　interrupted　the　green　blur　who　had　by　this　time　resolved　into　the　shape　of　a　small　wizened　dark…suited　green　waiter；　〃perhaps　you　would　care　to　discuss　the　matter　over　drinks。。。〃
　　〃Drinks！〃　cried　Zaphod；　〃that　was　it！　See　what　you　miss　if　you　don't　stay　alert。〃
　　〃Indeed　sir；〃　said　the　waiter　patiently。　〃If　the　lady　and　gentlemen　would　care　to　order　drinks　before　dinner。。。〃
　　〃Dinner！〃　Zaphod　exclaimed　with　passion；　〃Listen；　little　green　person；　my　stomach　could　take　you　home　and　cuddle　you　all　night　for　the　mere　idea。〃
　　〃。。。　and　the　Universe；〃　concluded　the　waiter；　determined　not　to　be　deflected　on　his　home　stretch；　〃will　explode　later　for　your　pleasure。〃
　　Ford's　head　swivelled　towards　him。　He　spoke　with　feeling。
　　〃Wow；〃　he　said；　〃What　sort　of　drinks　do　you　serve　in　this　place？〃
　　The　waiter　laughed　a　polite　little　waiter's　laugh。
　　〃Ah；〃　he　said；　〃I　think　sir　has　perhaps　misunderstood　me。〃
　　〃Oh；　I　hope　not；〃　breathed　Ford。
　　The　waiter　coughed　a　polite　little　waiter's　cough。
　　〃It　is　not　unusual　for　our　customers　to　be　a　little　disoriented　by　the　time　journey；〃　he　said；　〃so　if　I　might　suggest。。。〃
　　〃Time　journey？〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃Time　journey？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Time　journey？〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃You　mean　this　isn't　the　afterlife？〃　said　Arthur。
　　The　waiter　smiled　a　polite　little　waiter's　smile。　He　had　almost　exhausted　his　polite　little　waiter　repertoire　and　would　soon　be　slipping　into　his　role　of　a　rather　tight　lipped　and　sarcastic　little　waiter。
　　〃Afterlife　sir？〃　he　said；　〃No　sir。〃
　　〃And　we're　not　dead？〃　said　Arthur。
　　The　waiter　tightened　his　lips。
　　〃Aha；　ha；〃　he　said；　〃Sir　is　most　evidently　alive；　otherwise　I　would　not　attempt　to　serve　sir。〃
　　In　an　extraordinary　gesture　which　is　pointless　attempting　to　describe；　Zaphod　Beeblebrox　slapped　both　his　foreheads　with　two　of　his　arms　and　one　of　his　thighs　with　the　other。
　　〃Hey　guys；〃　he　said；　〃This　is　crazy。　We　finally　did　it。　We　finally　got　to　where　we　were　go