rz.thegunsofavalon-第12章
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〃That wasn't me；〃 I said。 〃It was one of my shadows。〃
But she shook her head and said； 〃Corwin of Amber； I am what I am；〃 and she rose and left me then。
〃What was it？〃 asked Ganelon； ignoring her departure。 〃What was the thing in the tower？〃
〃Mine；〃 I said； 〃one of those things which was released when I laid my curse upon Amber。 I opened the way then for that which lies beyond Shadow to enter the real world。 The paths of least resistance are followed in these things； through the shadows to Amber。 Here； the path was the Circle。 Elsewhere； it might be some different thing。 I have closed their way through this place now。 You may rest easy here。〃
〃That is why you came here？〃
〃No；〃 I said。 〃Not really。 I was but passing on the road to Avalon when I came upon Lance。 I could not let him lie there； and after I took him to you I became involved in this piece of my handiwork。〃
〃Avalon？ Then you lied when you said it was destroyed？〃
I shook my head。
〃Not so。 Our Avalon fell； but in Shadow I may find its like once more。〃
〃Take me with you。〃
〃Are you mad？〃
〃No； I would look once again on the land of my birth； no matter what the peril。〃
〃I do not go to dwell there；〃 I said； 〃but to arm for battle。 In Avalon there is a pink powder the jewelers use。 I ignited a sample of it one time in Amber。 I go there only to obtain it and to build guns that I may lay siege to Amber and gain the throne that is mine。〃
〃What of those things from beyond Shadow you spoke of。〃
〃I will deal with them afterwards。 Should I lose this time； then they are Eric's problem。〃
〃You said that he had blinded you and cast you into the dungeons。〃
〃That is true。 I grew new eyes。 I escaped。〃
〃You are a demon。〃
〃This has often been said。 I no longer deny it。〃
〃You will take me with you？〃
〃If you really wish to e。 It will differ from the Avalon you knew； however。〃
〃To Amber！〃
〃You are mad！〃
〃No。 Long have I wished to look upon that fabled city。 After I have seen Avalon once again I will want to turn my hand to something new。 Was I not a good general？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Then you will teach me of these things you call guns； and I will help you in the greatest battle。 I've not too many good years remaining before me； I know。 Take me with you。〃
〃Your bones may bleach at the foot of Kolvir； beside my own。〃
〃What battle is certain？ I will chance it。〃
〃As you would。 You may e。〃
〃Thank you； Lord。〃
We camped there that night； rode back to the keep in the morning。 Then I sought after Lorraine。 I learned that she had run off with one other former lovers； an officer named Melkin。 Although she had been upset； I resented the fact that she had not given me the opportunity to explain something of which she only knew rumors。 I decided to follow them。
I mounted Star； turned my stiff neck in the direction they had supposedly taken； and rode on after。 In a way； I could not blame her。 I had not been received back at the keep as the slayer of the horned one might have been were he anyone else。 The stories of their Corwin lingered on； and the demon tag was on all of them。 The men I had worked with； fought beside； now looked at me with glances holding something more than fear… glances only； for they quickly dropped their eyes or turned them to another thing。 Perhaps they feared that I wished to stay and reign over them。 They might have been relieved； all save Ganelon； when I took to the trail。 Ganelon； I think； feared that I would not return for him as I had promised。 This； I feel； is the reason that he offered to ride with me。 But it was a thing that I had to do by myself。
Lorraine had e to mean something to me； I was surprised to discover； and I found myself quite hurt by her action。 I felt that she owed me a hearing before she went her way。 Then if she still chose her mortal captain； they could have my blessing。 If not； I realized that I wanted to keep her with me。 Fair Avalon would be postponed for so long as it took me to resolve this to ending or continuance。
I rode along the trail and the birds sang in the trees about me。 The day was bright with a sky…blue； tree…green peace； for the scourge had been lifted from the land。 In my heart； there was something like a bit of joy that I had undone at least a small portion of the rottenness I had wrought。 Evil？ Hell； I've done more of it than most men； but I had picked up a conscience too； somewhere along the way； and I let it enjoy one of its rare moments of satisfaction。 Once I held Amber； I could allow it a little more leeway； I felt。 Ha！
I was heading north； and the terrain was foreign to me。 I followed a clearly marked trail； which bore the signs of two riders' recent passage。 I followed all that day； through dusk and into evening； dismounting periodically to inspect the way。 Finally； my eyes played too many tricks on me； so I located a small glen … several hundred yards to the left of the trail … and there I camped for the night。 It was the pains in my neck； doubtless； that made me dream of the horned one and relive that battle。 〃Help us now； and we will restore to you that which is yours；〃 it said。 I awoke suddenly at that point； with a curse on my lips。
When morning paled the sky； I mounted and continued on。 It had been a cold night； and the day still held me in hands out of the north。 The grasses sparkled with a light frost and my cloak was damp from having been used as a bedroll。
By noon； something of warmth had returned to the world and the trail was fresher。 I was gaining on them。
When I found her； I leaped down from my mount and ran to where she lay； beneath a wild rosebush without flowers； the thorns of which had scratched her cheek and shoulder。 Dead； she had not been so for long； for the blood was still damp upon her breast where the blade had entered； and her flesh yet warm。
There were no rocks with which to build her a cairn； so I cut away the sod with Grayswandir and laid her there to rest。 He had removed her bracelets； her rings； and her jeweled bs； which had held all she possessed of fortune。 I had to close her eyes before I covered her over with my cloak； and here my hand faltered and my own eyes grew dim。 It took me a long while。
I rode on； and it was not long before I overtook him； riding as though he were pursued by the Devil； which he was。 I spoke not a word when I unhorsed him； nor afterward； and I did not use my blade； though he drew his own。 I hurled his broken body into a high oak tree； and when I looked back it was dark with birds。
I replaced her rings； her bracelets； her bs； before I closed the grave； and that was Lorraine。 All that she had ever been or wanted to be had e to this； and that is the whole story of how we met and how we parted； Lorraine and I； in the land called Lorraine； and it is like onto my life； I guess； for a Prince of Amber is part and party to all the rottenness that is in the world； which is why whenever I do speak of my conscience； something else within me must answer； 〃Ha！〃 In the mirrors of the many judgments； my hands are the color of blood。 I am a part of the evil that exists in the world and in Shadow。 I sometime fancy myself an evil which exists to oppose other evils。 I destroy Melkins when I find them； and on that Great Day of which prophets speak but in which they do not truly believe； on that day when the world is pletely cleansed of evil； then I； too； will go down into darkness； swallowing curses。 Perhaps even sooner than that； I now judge。 But whatever。。。 Until that time； I shall not wash my hands nor let them hang useless。
Turning； I rode back to the Keep of Ganelon； who knew but would never understand。
Chapter 4
Riding； riding； through the wild； weird ways that led to Avalon； we went； Ganelon and I； down alleys of dream and of nightmare； beneath the brass bark of the sun and the hot； white isles of night； till these were gold and diamond chips and the moon swam like a swan。 Day belled forth the green of spring； we crossed a mighty river and the mountains before us were frosted by night。 I unleashed an arrow of my desire into the midnight and it took fire overhead； burned its way like a meteor into the north。 The only dragon we encountered was lame and limped away quic
