bill_the_galactic_hero_v1.1-第32章

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e　and　beady　eyes　lay　on　the　bottom　bunk　looking　intently　at　Bill。　Bill　looked　right　back　and　frowned。
　　　〃e　in；　Sarge；〃　the　little　man　said　as　he　scuttled　up　the　support　into　the　upper　bunk。　〃I　been　saving　the　lower　for　you；　yes　I　have。　The　name　is；　Blackey；　and　I'm　doing　ten　months　for　telling　a　second　looey　to　blow　it　out　。　。　。〃
　　　He　ended　the　sentence　with　a　slight　questioning　note　that　Bill　ignored。　Bill's　feet　hurt。　He　kicked　off　the　purple　boots　and　stretched　out　on　the　sack。　Blackey's　head　popped　over　the　edge　of　the　upper　bunk；　not　unlike　a　rodent　peering　out　the　landscape。　〃It's　a　long　time　to　chow…how's　about　a　Dobbin…　burger？〃　A　hand　appeared　next　to　the　head　and　slipped　a　shiny　package　down　to　Bill。　
　　After　looking　it　over　suspiciously　Bill　pulled　the　sealing　string　on　the　end　of　the　plastic　bag。　As　soon　as　the　air　rushed　in　and　hit　the　bustible　lining　the　burger　started　to　smoke　and　within　three　seconds　was　steaming　hot。　Lifting　the　bun　Bill　squirted　ketchup　in　from　the　little　sack　at　the　other　end　of　the　bag；　then　took　a　suspicious　bite。　It　was　rich；　juicy　horse。　
　　〃This　old　gray　mare　sure　tastes　like　it　used　to　be；〃　Bill　said；　talking　with　his　mouth　full。　〃How　did　you　ever　smuggle　this　into　the　stockade？〃
　　　Blackey　grinned　and　produced　a　broad　stage　wink。　〃Contacts。　They　bring　it　in　to　me；　all　I　gotta　do　is　ask。　I　didn't　catch　the　name　。　。　。　？〃
　　〃Bill。〃　Food　had　soothed　his　ruffled　temper。　〃A　year　and　a　day　for　sleeping　on　duty。　I　would　have　been　shot　for　desertion；　but　I　had　a　good　lawyer。　That　was　a　good　burger；　too　bad　there's　nothing　to　wash　it　down　with。〃
　　Blackey　produced　a　small　bottle　labeled　COUGH　SYRUP　and　passed　it　to　Bill。　〃Specially　mixed　for　me　by　a　friend　in　the　medics。　Half　grain　alcohol　and　half　ether。〃
　　〃Zoingg！〃　Bill　said；　dashing　the　tears　from　his　eyes　after　draining　half　the　bottle。　He　felt　almost　at　peace　with　the　world。　You're　a　good　buddy　to　have　around；　Blackey。〃
　　〃You　can　say　that　again；〃　Blackey　told　him　earnestly。　〃It　never　hurts　to　have　a　buddy；　not　in　the　troopers；　the　army；　the　navy；　anywheres。　Ask　old　Blackey；　he　knows。　You　got　muscles；　Bill？〃
　　Bill　lazily　flexed　Tembo's　muscles　for　him。
　　　〃That's　what　I　like　to　see；〃　Blackey　said　in　admiration。　〃With　your　muscles　and　my　brain　we　can　get　along　fine　。　。　。〃
　　〃I　have　a　brain　too！〃
　　　〃Relax　it！　Give　it　a　break；　while　I　do　the　thinking。　I　seen　service　in　more　armies　than　you　got　days　in　the　troopers。　I　got　my　first　Purple　Heart　serving　with　Hannibal；　there's　the　scar　right　there。〃　He　pointed　to　a　white　arc　on　the　back　of　his　hand。　〃But　I　picked　him　for　a　loser　and　switched　to　Romulus　and　Remus'　boys　while　there　was　still　time。　I　been　learning　ever　since；　and　I　always　land　on　my　feet。　I　saw　which　way　the　wind　was　blowing　and　ate　some　laundry　soap　and　got　the　trots　the　morning　of　Waterloo；　and　I　missed　but　nothing；　I　tell　you。　I。　saw　the　same　kind　of　thing　shaping　up　at　the　Somme…or　was　it　Ypres？…I　forget　some　of　them　old　names　now；　and　chewed　a　cigarette　and　put　it　into　my　armpit；　you　get　a　fever　that　way；　and　missed　that　show　too。　There's　always　an　angle　to　figure　I　always　say。〃
　　〃I　never　heard　of　those　battles。　Fighting　the　Chingers？〃
　　　〃No；　earlier　than　that；　a　lot　earlier　than　that。　Wars　and　wars　ago。〃
　　　〃That　makes　you　pretty　old；　Blackey。　You　don't　look　pretty　old。〃
　　〃I　am　pretty　old；　but　I　don't　tell　people　usually　because　they　give　me　the　laugh。　But　I　remember　the　pyramids　being　built；　and　I　remember　what　lousy　chow　the　Assyrian　army　had；　and　the　time　we　took　over　Wug's　mob　when　they　tried　to　get　into　our　cave；　rolled　rocks　down　on　them。〃
　　〃Sounds　like　a　lot　of　bowb；〃　Bill　said　lazily；　draining　the　bottle。　
　　〃Yeah；　that's　what　everybody　says；　so　I　don't　tell　the　old　stories　any　more。　They　don't　even　believe　me　when　I　show　them　my　good　luck　piece。〃　He　held　out　a　little　white　triangle　with　a　ragged　edge。　〃Tooth　from　a　pterodactyl。　Knocked　it　down　myself　with　a　stone　from　a　sling　I　had　just　invented　。　。　。〃
　　　〃Looks　like　a　hunk　of　plastic。〃
　　〃See　what　I　mean？　So　I　don't　tell　the　old　stories　any　more。　just　keep　re…　enlisting　and　drifting　with　the　tide。　。　。〃
　　Bill　sat　up　and　gaped。　〃Re…enlist！　Why；　that's　suicide　。　。　。〃
　　　〃Safe　as　houses。　Safest　place　during　the　war　is　in　the　army。　The　jerks　in　the　front　lines　get　their　heads　shot　off；　the　civilians　at　home　get　their　heads　blown　off。　Guys　in　between　safe　as　houses。　It　takes　thirty；　fifty；　maybe　seventy　guys　in　the　middle　to　supply　every　guy　in　the　line。　Once　you　learn　to　be　a　file　clerk　you're　safe。　Who　ever　heard　of　them　shooting　at　a　file　clerk？　I'm　a　great　file　clerk。　But　that's　just　in　wartime。　Peacetime；　whenever　they　make　a　mistake　and　there　is　peace　for　awhile；　it's　better　to　be　in　the　bat　troops。　Better　food；　longer　leaves；　nothing　much　to　do。　Travel　a　lot。〃
　　〃So　what　happens　when　the　war　starts？〃
　　　〃I　know　735　different　ways　to　get　into　the　hospitals。〃
　　〃Will　you　teach　me　a　couple？〃
　　　〃Anything　for　a　buddy；　Bill。　I'll　show　you　tonight；　after　they　bring　the　chow　around。　And　the　guard　what　brings　the　chow　is　being　difficult　about　a　little　favor　I　asked　him。　Boy；　I　wish　he　had　a　broken　arm！〃
　　　〃Which　arm？〃　Bill　cracked　his　knuckles　with　a　loud　crunch。
　　〃Dealer's　choice。〃
　　　The　Plastichouse　Stockade　was　a　transient　center　where　prisoners　were　kept　on　the　way　from　somewhere　to　elsewhere。　It　was　an　easy；　relaxed　life　enjoyed　by　both　guards　and　inmates　with　nothing　to　disturb　the　even　tenor　of　the　days。　There　had　been　one　new　guard；　a　real　eager　type　fresh　in　from　the　National　Territorial　Guard；　but　he　had　had　an　accident　while　serving　the　meals　and　had　broken　his　arm。　Even　the　other　guards　were　glad　to　see　him　go。　About　once　a　week　Blackey　would　betaken　away　under　armed　guard　to　the　Base　Records　Section　where　he　was　forging　new　records　for　a　light　colonel　who　was　very　active　in　the　black　market　and　wanted　to　make　millionaire　before　he　retired。　While　working　on　the　records　Mackey　saw　to　it　that　the　stockade　guards　received　undeserved　promotions；　extra　leave　time；　and　cash　bonuses　for　nonexistent　medals。　As　a　result　Bill　and　Blackey　ate　and　drank　very　well　and　grew　fat。　It　was　as　peaceful　as　could　possibly　be　until　the　morning　after　a　session　in　the　records　section　when　Blackey　returned　and　woke　Bill　up。
　　〃Good　news；〃　he　said。　〃We're　shipping　out。〃　
　　〃What's　good　about　that？〃　Bill　asked；　surly　at　being　disturbed　and　still　half…　stoned　from　the　previous　evening's　drinking　bout。　〃I　like　it　here。〃
　　〃It's　going　to　get　too　hot　for　us　soon。　The　colonel　is　giving　me　the　eye　and　a　very　funny　look；　and　I　think　he　is　going　to　have　us　shipped　to　the　other　end　of　the　galaxy；　where　there　is　heavy　fighting。　But　he's　not　going　to　do　anything　until　next　week　after　I　finish　the　books　for　him；　so　I　had　secret　orders　cut　for　us　this　week　sending　us　to　Tabes　Dorsalis　where　the　cement　mines　are。〃
　　　〃The　Dust　World！〃　Bill　shouted　hoarsely；　and　picked　Blackey　up　by　the　throat　and　shook　him。　〃A　world…wide　cement　mine　where　men　die　of　silicosis　in　hours。　Hellhole　of　the　universe　。　。　。〃
　　Blackey　wriggled　free　and…scuttled　to　the　other　end　of　the　cell。　
　〃Hold　it！〃　he　gasped。　〃Don't　go　off　half　cocked。　Close　the　cover　on　your　priming　pan　and　keep　your　powder　dryl　Do　you　think　I　would　ship　us　to　a　place　like　that？　That's　just　the　way　it　is　on　the　TV　shows；　but　I　got　the　inside　dope。　If　you　work　in　the　cement　mines；　roger；　it　ain't　so　good。　But　they　got　one　tremendous　base　section　there　with　a　lot　of　clerical　help；　and　they　use　trustees　in　the　motor　pool；　since　there　aren't　enough　troops　there。　While　I　was　working　on　the　records　I　changed　your　MS　from　fuse　tender；　which　is　a　suicide　job；　to　driver；　and　here　is　your　driver's　license　with　qualifications　on　everything　from　monocycle　to　atomic　89…ton　tank。　So　we　get　us　some　soft　jobs；　and　besides　the　whole　base　is　air…conditioned。〃
　　〃It　was　kind　of　nice　here；〃　Bill　said；　scowling　at　the　plastic　card　that　certified　to　his　aptitude　in　chauffeuring　a　number　…of　strange　vehicles；　most　of　which　he　had　never　seen。
　　〃They　e；　they　go；　they're　all　the　same；〃　Blackey　said；　packing　a　small　toilet　kit。
　　They　began　to　realize　that　something　was　wrong　when　the　column　of　prisoners　was　shackled　then　chained　togeth