jg.skippingchristmas-第11章

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Christmas。
　〃Are　they　Jewish？〃　she　asked。
　〃No。〃　
　〃Buddhist　or　anything　like　that？〃
　〃No；　not　at　all。　Methodist　actually。　They're　trying　to　avoid　Christmas　this　year。〃
　〃Do　what？〃
　〃You　heard　me。〃　Walt　was　standing　next　to　the　driver's　door；　all　smiles。　〃He's　kind　of　a　weird　one。　Skipping　Christmas　so　he　can　save　his　money　for　a　cruise。〃
　The　driver　and　the　minister's　wife　looked　long　and　hard　at　the　Krank　home　across　the　street。　The　kids　in　the　back　had　stopped　singing　and　were　listening　to　every　word。　Wheels　were　turning。
　〃I　think　some　Christmas　carolers　would　do　them　good；　Scheel　added　helpfully。　〃Go　on。〃
　The　truck　emptied　as　the　choir　rushed　onto　the　sidewalk。　They　stopped　near　the　Kranks'　mailbox。　〃Closer；　Scheel　yelled。　〃They　won't　mind。〃
　They　lined　up　near　the　house；　next　to　Luther's　favorite　flower　bed。　Scheel　ran　to　his　front　door　and　told　Bev　to　call　Frohmeyer。
　Luther　was　scraping　the　sides　of　his　yogurt　container　when　a　racket　menced　very　close　to　him。　The　carolers　struck　quick　and　loud　with　the　opening　stanza　of　〃God　Rest　Ye　Merry　Gentlemen；〃　and　the　Kranks　ducked　for　cover。　Then　they　darted　from　the　kitchen；　staying　low；　Luther　in　the　lead　with　Nora　on　his　back；　into　the　living　room　and　close　to　the　front　window；　where；　thankfully；　the　curtains　were　closed。
　The　choir　waved　excitedly　when　Luther　was　spotted　peeking　out。
　〃Christmas　carolers；〃　Luther　hissed；　taking　a　step　back；　〃Right　out　there　next　to　our　junipers。〃
　〃How　lovely；〃　Nora　said　very　quietly。
　〃Lovely？　They're　trespassing　on　our　property。　It's　a　setup。〃
　〃They're　not　trespassing。〃
　〃Of　course　they　are。　They're　on　our　property　without　being　invited。　Someone　told　them　to　e；　probably　Frohmeyer　or　Scheel。〃
　〃Christmas　carolers　are　not　trespassers；〃　Nora　insisted；　practically　whispering。
　〃I　know　what　I'm　talking　about。〃
　〃Then　call　your　friends　down　at　the　police　department。〃
　〃I　might　do　that；〃　Luther　mused；　peeking　out　again。　
　〃Not　too　late　to　buy　a　calendar。〃
　The　entire　Frohmeyer　clan　came　running；　Spike　leading　the　pack　on　a　skateboard；　and　by　the　time　they　fell　in　behind　the　carolers　the　Trogdons　had　heard　the　noise　and　were　joining　the　motion。　Then　the　Beckers　with　the　mother…in…law　in　tow　and　Rocky　the　dropout　lagging　behind　her。
　〃Jingle　Bells〃　was　next；　a　lively　and　loud　rendition；　no　doubt　inspired　by　the　excitement　being　created。　The　choir　director　motioned　for　the　neighbors　to　join　in；　which　they　happily　did；　and　by　the　time　they　began　〃Silent　Night〃　their　number　had　ballooned　to　at　least　thirty。　The　carolers　hit　most　of　their　notes；　the　neighbors　couldn't　have　cared　less。　They　sang　loudly　so　that　old　Luther　in　there　would　squirm。
　After　twenty　minutes；　Nora's　nerves　gave　way；　and　she　went　to　the　shower。　Luther　pretended　to　read　a　magazine　in　his　easy　chair；　but　each　carol　was　louder　than　the　last。　He　fumed　and　cursed　under　his　breath。　The　last　time　he　peeked　out　there　were　people　all　over　his　front　lawn；　everyone　smiling　and　shrieking　at　his　house。
　When　they　started　with　〃Frosty　the　Snowman；〃　he　went　to　his　office　in　the　basement　and　found　the　cognac。
　
　
　Eight
　
　Luther's　morning　routine　hadn't　changed　in　the　eighteen　years　he'd　lived　on　Hemlock。　Up　at　six；　slippers　and　bathrobe；　brew　the　coffee；　out　the　garage　door；　down　the　driveway　where　Milton　the　paperboy　had　left　the　Gazette　an　hour　earlier。　Luther　could　count　the　steps　from　the　coffeepot　to　the　newspaper；　knowing　they　wouldn't　vary　by　two　or　three。　Back　inside；　a　cup　with　just　a　trace　of　cream；　the　Sports　section；　then　Metro；　Business；　and　always　last；　the　national　and　international　news。　Halfway　through　the　obituaries；　he　would　take　a　cup　of　coffee；　the　same　lavender　cup　every　day；　with　two　sugars；　to　his　dear　wife。
　On　the　morning　after　the　caroling　party　on　his　front　lawn；　Luther　shuffled　half…asleep　down　his　drive　and　was　about　to　pick　up　the　Gazette　when　he　saw　a　bright　collection　of　colors　out　of　the　corner　of　his　left　eye。　There　was　a　sign　in　the　center　of　his　lawn。　FREE　FROSTY　the　damned　thing　proclaimed；　in　bold　black　letters。　It　was　on　white　poster　board；　reds　and　greens　around　the　borders；　with　a　sketch　of　Frosty　chained　and　shackled　somewhere　in　a　basement；　no　doubt　the　Kranks'　basement。　It　was　either　a　bad　design　by　an　adult　with　too　much　time　to　spare；　or　a　rather　good　design　by　a　kid　with　a　mom　looking　over　his　shoulder。
　Luther　suddenly　felt　eyes　watching　him；　lots　of　eyes；　so　he　casually　stuck　the　Gazette　under　his　arm　and　strolled　back　into　the　house　as　if　he'd　seen　nothing。　He　grumbled　as　he　poured　his　coffee；　cursed　mildly　as　he　took　his　chair。　He　couldn't　enjoy　Sports　or　Metro…even　the　obituaries　couldn't　hold　his　attention。　Then　he　realized　that　Nora　should　not　see　the　poster。　She'd　worry　about　it　much　more　than　he　did。
　With　each　new　assault　on　his　right　to　do　as　he　pleased；　Luther　was　more　determined　to　ignore　Christmas。　He　was　concerned　about　Nora；　though。　He　would　never　break；　but　he　feared　she　would。　If　she　believed　the　neighborhood　children　were　now　protesting；　she　just　might　collapse。
　He　struck　quickly…slinking　through　the　garage；　cutting　around　the　corner；　high…stepping　across　the　lawn　because　the　grass　was　wet　and　practically　frozen；　yanking　the　poster　from　the　ground；　and　tossing　it　into　the　utility　room；　where　he'd　deal　with　it　later。
　He　took　Nora　her　coffee；　then　settled　once　again　at　the　kitchen　table；　where　he　tried　in　vain　to　concentrate　on　the　Gazette。　He　was　angry；　though；　and　his　feet　were　frozen。　Luther　drove　to　work。
　He　had　once　advocated　closing　the　office　from　the　middle　of　December　until　after　January　1。　No　one　works　anyway；　he'd　argued　rather　brilliantly　at　a　firm　meeting。　The　secretaries　needed　to　shop　so　they　left　for　lunch　early；　returned　late；　then　left　an　hour　later　to　run　errands。　Simply　make　everyone　take　their　vacations　in　December；　he　had　said　forcefully。　Sort　of　a　two…week　layoff；　with　pay　of　course。　Billings　were　down　anyway；　he　had　explained　with　charts　and　graphs　to　back　him　up。　Their　clients　certainly　weren't　in　their　offices；　so　no　item　of　business　could　ever　be　finalized　until　the　first　week　of　January。　Wiley　&　Beck　could　save　a　few　bucks　by　avoiding　the　Christmas　dinner　and　the　office　party。　He　had　even　passed　out　an　article　From　The　Wall　Street　Journal　about　a　big　firm　in　Seattle　that　had　adopted　such　a　policy；　with　outstanding　results；　or　so　said　the　Journal。
　It　had　been　a　splendid　presentation　by　Luther。　The　firm　voted　eleven　to　two　against　him；　and　he'd　stewed　for　a　month。　Only　Yank　Slader'd　hung　in　there　with　him。
　Luther　went　through　the　motions　of　another　morning；　his　mind　on　last　night's　concert　by　his　junipers　and　the　protest　sign　in　his　front　yard。　He　enjoyed　life　on　Hemlock；　got　on　well　with　his　neighbors；　even　managing　to　be　cordial　to　Walt　Scheel；　and　was　unfortable　now　being　the　target　of　their　displeasure。
　Biff；　the　travel　agent；　changed　his　mood　when　she　waltzed　into　his　office　with　barely　a　knock…Dox；　his　secretary；　was　lost　in　catalogs…and　presented　their　flight　and　cruise　tickets；　along　with　a　handsome　itinerary　and　an　updated　brochure　on　the　Island　Princess。　She　was　gone　in　seconds；　much　too　brief　a　stay　to　suit　Luther；　who；　when　he　admired　her　figure　and　tan；　couldn't　help　but　dream　of　the　countless　string　bikinis　he　would　soon　encounter。　He　locked　his　door　and　was　soon　lost　in　the　warm　blue　waters　of　the　Caribbean。
　For　the　third　time　that　week　Luther　sneaked　away　just　before　lunch　and　raced　to　the　mall。　He　parked　as　far　away　as　possible　because　he　needed　the　hike；　down　eight　pounds　now　and　feeling　very　fit；　and　entered　through　Sears　with　a　mob　of　other　noontime　shoppers。　Except　Luther　was　there　for　a　nap。
　Behind　thick　sunshades；　he　ducked　into　Tans　Forever　on　the　upper　concourse。　Daisy　with　the　copper　skin　had　been　relieved　by　Daniella；　a　pale　redhead　whose　constant　tanning　had　only　made　her　freckles　expand　and　spread。　She　punched　his　card；　assigned　him　to　Salon　2；　and；　with　all　the　wisdom　of　a　highly　skilled　dermatologist；　said；　〃I　think　twenty…two　minutes　should　do　it　today；　Luther。〃　She　was　at　least　thirty　years　his　junior；　but　had　no　problem　addressing　him　simply　as　Luther。　A　kid　working　a　temporary　job　for