rr.armageddonthemusical-第53章
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gus forting Gloria somewhat more than was necessary； Ms Vrillium cowering once more； Elvis standing noble and defiant； Rex doing likewise； perhaps a little more so。
Suddenly a telephone rang。 Dan snatched it up。 A recorded voice said； 'We regret that the Doomsday button has been disconnected due to a maintenance dispute。 It's hoped that meaningful negotiations between management and shop floor will shortly return it to full operational capability。 We hope that this temporary suspension of service has not inconvenienced you too much。 Have another day。'
'What？' Dan began to foam at the mouth。 'What？？？'
Rex looked toward Christeen。 She shrugged。 'Not me； I didn't。。。 oh no。。。'
The room was suddenly swallowed up by a blinding golden light which poured through the windows from all sides。 Rex screwed up his eyes and squinted into the glare。 A dazzling throne hovered beyond the west…facing window and even now a shining figure was stepping down from it。 The light dulled slightly in intensity as Christeen knotted her fists and kicked furniture。 'Him。 I should have known。 It had to be him。'
'Him who？' Dan turned to view the radiant figure who was now waving away the throne as one might a taxi。
The figure smoothed out the creases in his immaculate white suit and waved gaily toward the gaping group within。 'Hi； sis'；' he called。
'Oh bugger；' said Dan。
Christeen buried her face in her hands。 'Not fair；' she protested； stamping her feet。 'Not fair。' The windows parted of their own accord and the shining figure entered the room。
'God save all here；' said Jesus Christ； for it was none other。 He beamed around the room。 All； with the exception of Dan and Christeen； were now kneeling。 'Oh let's not be formal。' Such perfect diction。 'We're all friends here。 Well； nearly all。'
'My button；' said the disgruntled Dan。 'You broke my button。'
'Yes； sorry about that。 But we couldn't really have you killing everyone off just out of bad grace； could we？'
Dan sniffed。 'You can't pull a stroke like that。 No…one is going to swallow a Deus ex machina ending in this day and age。'
'A Deus what？' Elvis asked。 Such shoulder pads； he thought； who is this man's tailor？
'Deus ex machina；' Jesus said。 'I think； all things considered； that it's truly justified。 And if I think so； I can't see who's going to argue。 So you'll just have to lump it； won't you？'
'Well； really。' Dan folded his arms and got a huff on。
'He's such a tiresome little tick； isn't he？' As the question appeared to have been directed toward Rex； he nodded in ready response。
'Yes sir；' he said； as the warmth of Jesus's smile dried out his acne。
'Enough of that 〃sir〃 stuff； Rex。 You're almost one of the family。'
'I am？' Rex gazed up at the fantastic figure。 Even with the close…clipped beard and the designer sunglasses his resemblance to Christeen was undeniable。 God； what a handsome bloke； thought Gloria； I wonder if he's married yet。
'Christeen；' said Jesus kindly。 'Aren't you going to say hello to your brother？'
Christeen shook her beautiful head。 'It's not fair；' said she。 Jesus gazed about him； taking it all in。 Ms Vrillium watched him at it。 What a lovely mover； she thought。
'Why； thank you。' Jesus flashed her a smile which took twelve inches off her waistline。 'Now I see that the gang is almost all here。'
'Almost all？' gasped Mungo Madoc。 'There's more？'
'Almost all； Mungo。' Jesus replied。 'Does anybody know who's missing？' Faces were universally vacant。 'Oh e on；' Jesus urged。 'Surely you've been following the sub…plot？ No？' He looked imploringly out from the book。 'Shall we tell them； readers？'
PLEASE ENTER YOUR REPLY HERE。 YES 。。。 NO 。。。 SEARCH ME。。。
'Well； I'm going to tell them anyway。' Jesus took out a remote control from the waistcoat pocket of his Heavenly three…piece； aimed it at the ceiling； mid point of the erotic columns （which had now； unaccountably； toned down their dirty doings and were all hearts and flowers）； pressed a button and stood back。
'And tonight's star guest。 Mr Mystery himself。 e on down。'
An ethereal Hammond organ； of a generation now mercifully gone to dust； made with the showtime fanfares。 Lights flashed。 The special star buzzer buzzed and a section of ceiling drifted down。 Bearing upon it the famous Mastermind chair。 Perched upon this and making with the Royal hand waves sat 。。。
'Jspht；' said Fergus Shaman。 'Jovil Jspht。'
'Fergus；' said Jovil。 'This is a surprise。'
'Mr Shaman to you。 But how？ What？ You can't be here。 You're back in 1958。 How can you？ Oh dear； oh dear； oh dear。。。'
Jovil held up his waving hand。 'All in good time；' he checked his watch。 'Now I think I'm right in supposing that。。。'
A station menial of deathly aspect burst into the boardroom of Earthers Inc。 'Mr Madoc；' he wailed。 'Mr Madoc； the virus； the virus。 It has caught us up。。。' He might have had more to say； but he didn't get the chance。 He was trampled to oblivion beneath the mad lemming dash for the window。
'And so it's good night to all our viewers on Phnaargos；' said Jovil。 'You won't forget to turn off your sets now； will you？'
'You haven't；' gasped Fergus。
'Have too。 The Earthers just went off the air；'
'God's nose；' Fergus slumped into the nearest seat。
'Get off；' Gloria protested。
'I'm sorry to show my ignorance；' said Rex。 'But should I know this person？'
'That's the alien who jumped me back in fifty…eight。' Elvis gestured with his weapons。 'I nearly cashed in my chips at the Bates Motel because of him。 Luckily Barry threw in his lot with me and hauled me out in the nick of time。'
'Then how can he？'
'Honestly； Rex；' Jesus smiled again。 Rex felt new hair sprouting on his head。 'You really should have reasoned it out by now；'
'I should？'
'It's all right there in your pocket；'
'It is？' Rex patted at his multiple pocketry。 One bulged。 He unzipped it。 'The Book；' he said； recalling； as will the reader； that he had left it behind； hidden in his apartment。 'The Suburban Book of the Dead。'
'I've been here all along in the sub…plot； just like the Good Lord told you；' Jovil said。 'I got marooned back in fifty…eight。 But I could hardly die there； could I？ I hadn't even been born yet； back then；' Heads nodded thoughtfully。 Thoughts nodded doubtfully。 'So with my advanced knowledge I built an empire。 And with more than a little Divine guidance pieced a certain thing together。 And I was in on the genesis of this place。 My money built it。 I designed the MOTHER puter； the lot。 I went pletely underground when the big bang came in 1999。 The Phnaargs never knew it but I was the virus in their system。 By sending me back in time they had poisoned their own storage beds。 I never killed that operative； the system did it。 As I moved forward in time； changing the past； the cells mutated。 Now I am here； and so their whole system has collapsed； bio…feedback。'
'So where have you been for the last fifty years？' Rex asked。
'Up there； sitting in cryogenic suspension。 We Phnaargs are of vegetable origin； you know。 I've been in cold storage。 Just waiting for the big day to thaw out。'
'Big day？' Rex gazed down at his battered book。
'Sure； when the big secret would be disclosed。 You've read the book； what do you think it is？'
'I've tried to read it。 But from what I can gather it all seems to be some kind of quest。 A search for something which was never found。'
'He found it。' Jovil pointed towards Dan； who was seeking invisibility with no apparent success。
'Oh； I'm in this again； am I？' croaked the stinker。 'And what did I find； pray tell me； do？'
'It's all in Rex's book。 The book you killed his uncle to get your hands on。 The location of the K carbon containing the Ultimate Secret of the Universe。' （What else？ Rex thought。） 'It was the last item checked in by the Department Of Antiquities。 After you had it you closed down the mission。 So why didn't you use it？'
'Sorry to disappoint you； but I closed the mission down because they were all on the fiddle。 Of Universal Secrets my cupboard is bare。'
All faces now turned back to Jovil Jspht。
'I think not。' Jovil sprang from hi
