uleg.thetombsofatuan-第30章

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　　She　did　feel　it。　A　dark　hand　had　let　go　its　lifelong　hold　upon　her　heart。　But　she　did　not　feel　joy；　as　she　had　in　the　mountains。　She　put　her　head　down　in　her　arms　and　cried；　and　her　cheeks　were　salt　and　wet。　She　cried　for　the　waste　of　her　years　in　bondage　to　a　useless　evil。　She　wept　in　pain；　because　she　was　free。
　　What　she　had　begun　to　learn　was　the　weight　of　liberty。　Freedom　is　a　heavy　load；　a　great　and　strange　burden　for　the　spirit　to　undertake。　It　is　not　easy。　It　is　not　a　gift　given；　but　a　choice　made；　and　the　choice　may　be　a　hard　one。　The　road　goes　upward　towards　the　light；　but　the　laden　traveler　may　never　reach　the　end　of　it。
　　Ged　let　her　cry；　and　said　no　word　of　fort；　nor　when　she　was　done　with　tears　and　sat　looking　back　towards　the　low　blue　land　of　Atuan；　did　he　speak。　His　face　was　stern　and　alert；　as　if　he　were　alone；　he　saw　to　the　sail　and　the　steering；　quick　and　silent；　looking　always　ahead。
　　In　the　afternoon　he　pointed　rightward　of　the　sun；　towards　which　they　now　sailed。　〃That　is　Karego…At；〃　he　said；　and　Tenar　following　his　gesture　saw　the　distant　loom　of　hills　like　clouds；　the　great　island　of　the　Godking。　Atuan　was　out　of　sight　behind　them。　Her　heart　was　very　heavy。　The　sun　beat　in　her　eyes　like　a　hammer　of　gold。
　　Supper　was　dry　bread；　and　dried　smoked　fish；　which　tasted　vile　to　Tenar；　and　water　from　the　boat's　cask；　which　Ged　had　filled　at　a　stream　on　Cloud　Cape　beach　the　evening　before。　The　winter　night　came　down　soon　and　cold　upon　the　sea。　Far　off　to　northward　they　saw　for　a　while　the　tiny　glitter　of　lights；　yellow　firelight　in　distant　villages　on　the　shore　of　Karego…At。　These　vanished　in　a　haze　that　rose　up　from　the　ocean；　and　they　were　alone　in　the　starless　night　over　deep　water。
　　She　had　curled　up　in　the　stern；　Ged　lay　down　in　the　prow；　with　the　water　cask　for　a　pillow。　The　boat　moved　on　steadily；　the　low　swells　slapping　her　sides　a　little；　though　the　wind　was　only　a　faint　breath　from　the　south。　Out　here；　away　from　the　rocky　shores；　the　sea　too　was　silent；　only　as　it　touched　the　boat　did　it　whisper　a　little。
　　〃If　the　wind　is　from　the　south；〃　Tenar　said；　whispering　because　the　sea　did；　〃doesn't　the　boat　sail　north？〃
　　〃Yes；　unless　we　tack。　But　I've　put　the　mage…wind　in　her　sail；　to　the　west。　By　tomorrow　morning　we　should　be　out　of　Kargish　waters。　Then　I'll　let　her　go　by　the　world's　wind。〃
　　〃Does　it　steer　itself？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　Ged　replied　with　gravity；　〃given　the　proper　instructions。　She　doesn't　need　many。　She's　been　in　the　open　sea；　beyond　the　farthest　isle　of　the　East　Reach；　she's　been　to　Selidor　where　Erreth…Akbe　died；　in　the　farthest　West。　She's　a　wise　crafty　boat；　my　Lookfar。　You　can　trust　her。〃
　　In　the　boat　moved　by　magic　over　the　great　deep；　the　girl　lay　looking　up　into　the　dark。　All　her　life　she　had　looked　into　the　dark；　but　this　was　a　vaster　darkness；　this　night　on　the　ocean。　There　was　no　end　to　it。　There　was　no　roof。　It　went　on　out　beyond　the　stars。　No　earthly　Powers　moved　it。　It　had　been　before　light；　and　would　be　after。　It　had　been　before　life；　and　would　be　after。　It　went　on　beyond　evil。
　　In　the　dark；　she　spoke：　〃The　little　island；　where　the　talisman　was　given　you；　is　that　in　this　sea？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　his　voice　answered　out　of　the　dark。　〃Somewhere。　To　the　south；　perhaps。　I　could　not　find　it　again。〃
　　〃I　know　who　she　was；　the　old　woman　who　gave　you　the　ring。〃
　　〃You　know？〃
　　〃I　was　told　the　tale。　It　is　part　of　the　knowledge　of　the　First　Priestess。　Thar　told　it　to　me；　first　when　Kossil　was　there；　then　more　fully　when　we　were　alone；　it　was　the　last　time　she　talked　to　me　before　she　died。　There　was　a　noble　house　in　Hupun　who　fought　against　the　rise　of　the　High　Priests　in　Awabath。　The　founder　of　the　house　was　King　Thoreg；　and　among　the　treasures　he　left　his　descendants　was　the　half…ring；　which　Erreth…Akbe　had　given　him。〃
　　〃That　indeed　is　told　in　the　Deed　of　Erreth…Akbe。　It　says。。。　in　your　tongue　it　says；　‘When　the　ring　was　broken；　half　remained　in　the　hand　of　the　High　Priest　Intathin；　and　half　in　the　hero's　hand。　And　the　High　Priest　sent　the　broken　half　to　the　Nameless；　to　the　Ancient　of　the　Earth　in　Atuan；　and　it　went　into　the　dark；　into　the　lost　places。　But　Erreth…Akbe　gave　the　broken　half　into　the　hands　of　the　maiden　Tiarath；　daughter　of　the　wise　king；　saying：　〃Let　it　remain　in　the　light；　in　the　maiden's　dowry；　let　it　remain　in　this　land　until　it　be　rejoined。〃　So　spoke　the　hero　before　he　sailed　to　the　west。'　〃
　　〃So　it　must　have　gone　from　daughter　to　daughter　of　that　house；　over　all　the　years。　It　was　not　lost；　as　your　people　thought。　But　as　the　High　Priests　made　themselves　into　the　Priest…Kings；　and　then　when　the　Priest…Kings　made　the　Empire　and　began　to　call　themselves　Godkings；　all　this　time　the　house　of　Thoreg　grew　poorer　and　weaker。　And　at　last；　so　Thar　told　me；　there　were　only　two　of　the　lineage　of　Thoreg　left；　little　children；　a　boy　and　a　girl。　The　Godking　in　Awabath　then　was　the　father　of　him　who　rules　now。　He　had　the　children　stolen　from　their　palace　in　Hupun。　There　was　a　prophecy　that　one　of　the　descendants　of　Thoreg　of　Hupun　would　bring　about　the　fall　of　the　Empire　in　the　end；　and　that　frightened　him。　He　had　the　children　stolen　away；　and　taken　to　a　lonely　isle　somewhere　out　in　the　middle　of　the　sea；　and　left　there　with　nothing　but　the　clothes　they　wore　and　a　little　food。　He　feared　to　kill　them　by　knife　or　strangling　or　poison；　they　were　of　kingly　blood；　and　murder　of　kings　brings　a　curse　even　on　the　gods。　They　were　named　Ensar　and　Anthil。　It　was　Anthil　who　gave　you　the　broken　ring。〃
　　He　was　silent　a　long　while。　〃So　the　story　es　whole；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃even　as　the　ring　is　made　whole。　But　it　is　a　cruel　story；　Tenar。　The　little　children；　that　isle；　the　old　man　and　woman　I　saw。。。　They　scarcely　knew　human　speech。〃
　　〃I　would　ask　you　something。〃
　　〃Ask。〃
　　〃I　do　not　wish　to　go　to　the　Inner　Lands；　to　Havnor。　I　do　not　belong　there；　in　the　great　cities　among　foreign　men。　I　do　not　belong　to　any　land。　I　betrayed　my　own　people。　I　have　no　people。　And　I　have　done　a　very　evil　thing。　Put　me　alone　on　an　island；　as　the　king's　children　were　left；　on　a　lone　isle　where　there　are　no　people；　where　there　is　no　one。　Leave　me；　and　take　the　ring　to　Havnor。　It　is　yours；　not　mine。　It　has　nothing　to　do　with　me。　Nor　have　your　people。　Let　me　be　by　myself！〃
　　Slowly；　gradually；　yet　startling　her；　a　light　dawned　like　a　small　moonrise　in　the　blackness　before　her；　the　wizardly　light　that　came　at　his　mand。　It　clung　to　the　end　of　his　staff；　which　he　held　upright　as　he　sat　facing　her　in　the　prow。　It　lit　the　bottom　of　the　sail；　and　the　gunwales；　and　the　planking；　and　his　face；　with　a　silvery　glow。　He　was　looking　straight　at　her。
　　〃What　evil　have　you　done；　Tenar？〃
　　〃I　ordered　that　three　men　be　shut　into　a　room　beneath　the　Throne；　and　starved　to　death。　They　died　of　hunger　and　thirst。　They　died；　and　are　buried　there　in　the　Undertomb。　The　Tombstones　fell　on　their　graves。〃　She　stopped。
　　〃Is　there　more？〃
　　〃Manan。〃
　　〃That　death　is　on　my　soul。〃
　　〃No。　He　died　because　he　loved　me；　and　was　faithful。　He　thought　he　was　protecting　me。　He　held　the　sword　above　my　neck。　When　I　was　little　he　was　kind　to　me　…when　I　cried…〃　She　stopped　again；　for　the　tears　rose　hard　in　her；　yet　she　would　cry　no　more。　Her　hands　were　clenched　on　the　black　folds　of　her　dress。　〃I　was　never　kind　to　him；〃　she　said。　〃I　will　not　go　to　Havnor。　I　will　not　go　with　you。　Find　some　isle　where　no　one　es；　and　put　me　there；　and　leave　me。　The　evil　must　be　paid　for。　I　am　not　free。〃
　　The　soft　light；　grayed　by　sea　mist；　glimmered　between　them。
　　〃Listen；　Tenar。　Heed　me。　You　were　the　vessel　of　evil。　The　evil　is　poured　out。　It　is　done。　It　is　buried　in　its　own　tomb。　You　were　never　made　for　cruelty　and　darkness；　you　were　made　to　hold　light；　as　a　lamp　burning　holds　and　gives　its　light。　I　found　the　lamp　unlit；　I　won't　leave　it　on　some　desert　island　like　a　thing　found　and　cast　away。　I'll　take　you　to　Havnor　and　say　to　the　princes　of　Earthsea；　‘Look！　In　the　place　of　darkness　I　found　the　light；　her　spirit。　By　her　an　old　evil　was　brought　to　nothing。　By　her　I　was　brought　out　of　the　grave。　By　her　the　broken　was　made　whole；　and　where　there　was　hatred　there　will　be　peace。'〃
　　〃I　will　not；〃　Tenar　said　in　agony。　〃I　cannot。　It's　not　true！〃