js&cs.thebridge-第52章

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to　himself　how　terrified　he　was；　how　pletely　and　utterly　his　life　would　be　destroyed　if　anything　happened　to　this　woman　or　the　beautiful　child　she　bore。　No　way　could　he　admit　to　himself　how　astonishingly　delicate　was　his　entire　world；　how　painfully　mortal　and　frail。
　　How　thoroughly　it　hinged　upon　that　love。
　　And　upon　that　love's　survival。
　　〃Put　her　on；〃　he　said；　in　a　voice　so　thick　it　could　barely　pronounce　the　words。　〃Please。〃
　　
　　Gwen　still　moved　a　little　unsteadily。　All　assurances　aside…all　understanding　aside；　as　affirmed　by　the　nurse　upon　her　release；　and　by　the　sound　of　her　baby's　heartbeat…she　still　felt　jittery　and　frightened　and　weird。　Of　course。　She　was　pregnant；　and　therefore　psychotic。
　　At　the　moment；　she　lived　for　the　sound　of　Gary's　voice。
　　〃Baby？〃　she　said。
　　〃I'm　here。〃
　　〃Oh；　baby；〃　she　said；　voice　tremulous　with　tears；　〃I'm　so　sorry　I　snapped　at　you　。。。　〃
　　〃It　don't　matter；　darlin'　。。。　〃
　　〃Oh　yes　it　does　。。。　〃
　　〃Oh　no　it　doesn't。　Listen。〃　Was　he　crying；　too？　No；　just　wired。　Taut。　〃Did　you　have　any　trouble　out　there？　Getting　home？〃
　　〃No；　but　。。。　〃　Hesitating　a　moment。
　　〃But　what？〃
　　〃　。。。　but　we　had　a　。。。　oh；　God；　I　guess　I　had　a　panic　attack　or　something　stupid。　I　was　sh…sure　that　。。。　that　the　。。。　that　S…Spike　。。。　〃　She　couldn't　even　bring　herself　to　say　it。　She　started　to　cry　harder。
　　〃Let　me　talk　to　Micki。〃
　　〃NO！〃　she　barked；　quickly　reigning　herself　in。　〃I…I'm　fine。〃　The　silence　on　the　other　end　was　palpable；　frightening。　〃The　people　at　the　hospital　said　I'm　fine。〃
　　〃Oh；　great　。。。　〃　His　voice　trailed　away　at　the　end。　〃Fuck！〃　She　could　just　see　him：　teeth　clenched；　fist　clenched；　struggling　with　his　own　posure。　Gary's　fear　always　translated　straight　into　anger；　then　pulled　back　to　simple　intensity。　There　was　nothing　to　do　but　ride　it　out。
　　〃Okay；〃　he　said　finally。　〃I　want　you　to　stay　right　where　you　are。　Don't　go　anywhere。　Just　wait　for　me。〃
　　A　deep；　shuddering　breath。　〃Are　you　ing　soon？〃
　　A　pause。　Then；　〃I'm　on　my　way。　And　listen。　You　take　real　good　care　of　yourself　and　Spike　till　I　get　back；　you　hear　me？〃
　　〃Okay　。。。　〃
　　〃You　promise？〃
　　She　smiled；　just　a　little。　Astounding。　〃Scout's　honor。〃
　　〃I　love　you　more　than　anything；　darlin'。　You　know　that。〃
　　〃I　know。〃
　　〃See　you　soon。〃
　　〃I　love　you　。。。　〃
　　He　blew　her　a　kiss。
　　And　hung　up　the　phone。
　　And　the　horrible　thing　was；　the　second　he　hung　up；　she　knew　that　she　was　never　going　to　see　him　again。　It　made　no　sense；　but　she　knew　it　was　true。　Cold；　terrible　certainty　flooded　her　core　like　the　mournful　peal　of　cathedral　bells；　filling　her　with　its　hollow　sound。
　　Of　course；　she'd　been　sure　about　the　baby；　too。
　　And　look　how　wrong　she'd　been　。。。
　　
　　Gary　stood　by　the　console；　the　receiver　still　hot　in　his　hands。　It　was　time　to　go。　Gwen　was　home；　Gwen　was　safe；　fuck　everything　else；　bye…bye　and　sayonara；　suckers！
　　So　why　wasn't　he　moving　already？
　　Damn　good　question；　he　told　himself。　The　fact　was；　Gary　couldn't　just　fuck　everything　else。　The　fact　was；　Gary　was　a　man　torn　between　the　urge　to　flee　and　the　need　to　take　care　of　business。　Not　just　any　business。　Not　business　as　usual；　at　any　rate。
　　No；　it　was　a　very　particular　business　that　Gary　had　in　mind。　The　kind　he　couldn't　leave　hanging。　The　kind　he　could　only　conduct　face…to…face。
　　The　kind　with　Kirk's　name　written　all　over　it。
　　What　are　you　talking　about？　his　rational　mind　screamed。　Gwen　is　home！　Get　back　there；　idiot！
　　But　the　truth　be　known；　he　just　couldn't。　It　surprised　no　one　as　much　as　himself。　Up　until　the　moment　he'd　heard　Gwen's　voice　his　priorities　were　clear　and　incontrovertible。　Find　Gwen。　Find　out　what　the　hell　was　going　on。　Then；　and　only　then：　get　Kirk；
　　One。　Two。　Three。
　　The　moment　he'd　spoken　to　her　and　knew　she　was　safe　and　sound；　however；　the　priority　list　had　neatly　flipped。　〃Find　out　what　the　hell　is　going　on〃　retained　its　pivotal　number　two　slot；　it　being　central　to　the　others　and　at　the　core　of　this　entire　situation。　〃Find　Gwen；〃　being　acplished；　went　to　the　end　of　the　line。　He　knew　where　she　was；　and　she　was　staying　put。
　　That　left　the　new　number　one；　with　a　bullet。
　　Get　Kirk　。。。
　　〃No；〃　Gary　told　himself；　〃I　gotta　go。〃　He　looked　at　his　legs；　as　if　expecting　them　to　auto…perambulate　across　the　control　room。　〃I'm　going　now；〃　he　reiterated；　and　took　three　decisive　steps　toward　the　door　before　stalling。
　　He　couldn't。
　　〃God　dammit；〃　Gary　hissed。　Bile　percolated　like　acid　in　his　belly；　demanding　vengeance。　Demanding　payback。　He　had　to　go。　He　had　to　stay。
　　Gary　stood　in　the　doorway；　listening　as　the　monitors　relayed　the　flow　of　life　as　he　knew　it。
　　And　waiting；　just　a　minute　longer。
　　For　Kirk　to　e　back　。。。
　　
　　
　　　Thirty…Eight
　　　
　　There　was　a　Rutter's　Farm　Store　on　Penn　Street；　just　around　the　corner　from　the　West　Side　Farmer's　Market。　Kirk　was　pretty　sure　they'd　have　a　pay　phone　he　could　try。　During　the　last　fifteen　minutes；　driving　aimlessly　around　town；　he'd　had　a　good　heart…to…heart　with　his　brand…new　personal　Savior；　and　while　Jesus　hadn't　actually　spoken；　neither　had　he　disagreed　when　Kirk　suggested　throwing　himself　upon　Laura's　tender　mercies。
　　The　entire　experience；　in　fact；　was　religious　as　hell。　It　had　flensed　him　of　his　foolish　pride；　left　him　chastened　and　humble　and　ready　to　serve。　Now　all　he　needed　was　a　working　phone；　that　he　might　plead　forgiveness　and　a　shot　at　his　old　job　back。　At　this　point；　he'd　happily　cover　mall　openings　for　the　rest　of　his　life。　No　problem　at　all。　High　school　graduations？　Pooper…scooper　repeal　laws？　You　got　it。　Anything。　Anything　at　all。
　　Anything　to　spare　him　from　the　agony　of　defeat。
　　Kirk　pulled　into　the　parking　lot　and　hopped　out；　left　the　engine　running。　He　didn't　even　notice　the　car　that　sidled　up　beside　him　at　the　curb。　He　had　his　quarter　in　the　slot　and　the　number　punched　up　in　the　time　it　took　to　blink。
　　When　the　prerecorded　operator's　voice　came　on　the　line；　he　nearly　tore　the　phone　off　the　wall。
　　〃God　damn　it！〃　he　raged；　frustration　and　fear　going　off　in　his　guts　like　a　napalm　rain　as　his　fist　went　WHAM　against　the　phone　booth's　safety　glass；　WHAM　until　it　bowed；　WHAM　WHAM　WHAM　in　two…fisted　rapid　succession　。。。
　　〃'Scuse　me；〃　said　the　voice；　and　before　he　could　turn；　there　was　somebody　else　in　the　booth　with　him：　pushing　in　behind　him；　pressing　him　face…first　against　the　wall。
　　〃HEY！〃　he　yelled；　but　it　was　too　late。　The　punk　was　already　reaching　for　him；　reaching　past　him　to　the　phone。　He　had　a　flat　colored　object　in　his　hand；　and　when　it　hit　the　phone's　coin　box；　it　adhered　to　its　surface；　proudly　flashing　its　circle　and　slash。
　　NO　FUTURE；　it　said。
　　〃Thanks；〃　the　kid　muttered；　sliding　back　out　with　the　same　casual　indifference　he'd　displayed　sliding　in。
　　Any　other　time；　Kirk　would　have　just　been　pissed。　But　the　fire　still　strafed　his　gut；　and　now　it　flooded　up　his　throat　as　well。　〃Hey！〃　he　hollered；　stepping　out　after　him。　〃What　the　fuck　is　the　matter　with　you？〃
　　The　kid　kept　walking；　heading　for　the　car。　His　jacket　bore　the　same　insignia　as　the　sticker。
　　〃HEY！！〃　He　could　feel　his　blood　pressure　rising；　the　first　throbbing　bloodrush　in　his　temples。
　　〃What！〃　The　tall　kid　stopped；　then　turned　around；　wearing　a　pained　what…now　expression。　〃Don't　blow　a　hose；　okay？　I　said　excuse　me。〃
　　Behind　him；　a　car　horn　tootled。　For　the　first　time；　Kirk　noticed　the　diseased　VW　parked　beside　the　ACTION…9　mobile。　There　was　an　odd；　very　interesting…looking　punky　girl　in　the　driver's　seat；　but　that　didn't　change　the　fact　that　she　was　sitting　in　the　ugliest　car　he'd　ever　seen　in　his　life。　She　looked　at　him　and　started　to　nod。
　　〃You're　Kirk　Bogarde；〃　the　girl　said；　smiling。
　　Kirk　froze。　All　his　professional　flags　went　up。　Do　I　know　them？　he　silently　asked　himself；　suddenly　imagining　tomorrow's　top　story　today：　EX…REPORTER　SUFFERS　MAJOR　MINIT　MARKET　BREAKDOWN。　Film　at　eleven　。。。
　　〃Oh；　yeah！〃　The　tall　kid　snapped　his　fingers；　rolled　his　eyes　and　tapped　his　forehead。　〃You're　that　dork　from　Channel　9。　The　pooper…scooper　dude。〃
　　Kirk　recoiled；　a　little　stung。
　　〃You　want　a　real　story？〃　the　girl　offered。