ch.nativetongue-第6章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


dumpster；　for　example。　Or　one　of　Uncle　Ely's　Elves　smoking　a　joint。
　Which　is　what　Joe　Winder　saw　when　he　got　to　the　bottom　of　the　stairs。
　〃I'm　looking　for　Robbie　Raccoon；〃　he　said　to　the　elf；　who　wasn't　particularly　jolly　or　gnome　like。
　The　elf　belched　blue　smoke　and　asked　which　Robbie　Raccoon　he　was　looking　for；　since　there　were　three。
　〃The　one　who　was　on　duty　this　afternoon；〃　Winder　said。　〃The　one　who　fought　with　the　rat　robbers。〃
　The　big　elf　pointed　with　the　smoldering　end　of　the　joint。　〃Okay；　there's　a　locker　room　on　the　west　side。　Just　follow　the　orange　signs。〃　He　took　another　drag。　I'd　offer　you　a　hit；　but　I　got　this　nasty　chest　virus。　Hate　to　pass　it　along。〃
　〃Sure；〃　said　Joe　Winder。　〃No　problem。〃
　The　lockers　were　at　the　end　of　a　damp　concrete　tunnel　that　smelled　of　stale　laundry　and　ammonia。　Robbie　Raccoon　was　straddling　the　bench；　trying　to　unzip　his　head。　Winder　introduced　himself；　and　explained　that　he　was　from　the　Publicity　Department。
　〃I'm　writing　a　press　release　about　what　happened　earlier　today；〃　he　said。　〃A　few　quick　questions　is　all。〃
　〃Fire　away；〃　said　Robbie　Raccoon。　The　words　came　out　muffled；　from　a　small　opening　in　the　neck　of　the　costume。
　Winder　said；　〃I　can　barely　hear　you。〃
　With　a　grunt　Robbie　Raccoon　removed　his　head；　which　was　as　large　as　a　beach　ball。　Joe　Winder　was　startled　by　what　he　saw　beneath　it：　long　shimmering　blond　hair；　green　eyes　and　mascara。　Robbie　Raccoon　was　a　woman。
　She　said；　〃If　you're　going　to　make　a　joke；　get　it　over　with。〃
　〃No；　I　wasn't。〃
　〃Don't　think　this　is　my　life　ambition　or　anything。〃
　〃Of　course　not；〃　said　Joe　Winder。
　The　woman　said　her　name　was　Carrie　Lanier。　〃And　I　got　my　SAG　card；〃　she　said；　still　somewhat　defensive。　〃That's　the　only　reason　I　took　this　stupid　job。　I'm　going　to　be　an　actress。〃
　Mindlessly　Winder　said；　〃You've　got　to　start　somewhere。〃
　〃Darn　right。〃
　He　waited　for　Carrie　Lanier　to　remove　the　rest　of　the　raccoon　outfit；　but　she　didn't。　He　took　out　his　notebook　and　asked　her　to　describe　what　had　happened　at　the　Rare　Animal　Pavilion。
　Carrie　shrugged　in　an　exaggerated　way；　as　if　she　were　still　in　character。　〃It　was　two　men；　we're　talking　white　trash。　One　of　them　has　a　sledgehammer；　and　they're　both　walking　real　fast。　I　start　to　follow；　don't　ask　me　why…I　just　had　a　hunch。　All　of　a　sudden　the　one　with　the　hammer　smashes　out　the　glass　in　one　of　the　exhibits。〃
　〃And　you　tried　to　stop　him？〃
　〃Yeah；　I　jumped　the　guy。　Climbed　on　his　back。　He　turned　around　and　clobbered　me　pretty　solid。　Thank　God　for　this。〃　Carrie　knocked　on　the　crown　of　the　raccoon　head；　which　was　propped　face…up　on　the　bench。　Her　fist　made　a　sharp　hollow　sound。　〃Chicken　wire；　plaster　and　Kevlar；〃　she　explained。　〃They　say　it's　bulletproof。〃
　Joe　Winder　wrote　this　down；　even　though　Charles　Chelsea　would　never　let　him　use　it　in　the　press　release。　At　the　Amazing　Kingdom；　each　publicity　announcement　was　carefully　purged　of　all　intriguing　details。　Winder　was　having　a　tough　time　kicking　the　habit　of　taking　good　notes。
　Carrie　Lanier　said；　〃He　knocked　me　down　pretty　hard；　but　that's　about　it。　There　was　a　tour　group　from　Taiwan；　Korea；　someplace　like　that。　They　helped　me　off　the　ground；　but　by　then　the　two　dirtbags　were　long　gone。　I　could've　done　without　the　ambulance　ride；　but　Risk　Management　said　I　had　to。〃
　〃Can　I　say　you　suffered　a　slight　head　injury？〃　Joe　Winder　asked；　pen　poised。
　〃No；〃　said　Carrie　Lanier。　〃As　soon　as　the　X…rays　came　out　negative；　they　hauled　me　back　to　work。　I'm　fine。〃
　That　wouldn't　go　over　well　with　Charles　Chelsea；　the　vole　story　was　infinitely　more　dramatic　if　a　park　employee　had　been　wounded　in　the　rescue　attempt。
　〃Not　even　a　headache？〃　Winder　persisted。
　〃Yeah；　I've　got　a　headache；〃　Carrie　said。　〃I've　always　got　a　headache。　Take　a　whiff　of　this　place。〃　She　stood　up　and　yanked　on　the　fluffy　striped　raccoon　tail；　which　was　attached　to　the　rump　of　the　costume　by　a　Velcro　patch。　The　tail　made　a　ripping　sound　when　Carrie　took　it　off。　She　tossed　it　in　her　locker　and　said；　〃Why　would　anyone　steal　rats？〃
　〃Voles；〃　said　Joe　Winder。
　〃The　guys　who　did　it；　boy；　what　a　pair。　Scum　of　the　earth。〃
　Again　Winder　didn't　bother　to　write　this　down。
　〃It's　crazy；〃　said　Carrie　Lanier。　She　reached　beneath　her　left　armpit　and　found；　deep　in　the　fur；　another　zipper。　Carefully　she　unzipped　the　costume　lengthwise　down　to　her　ankle。　She　did　the　same　on　the　other　side。　As　she　stepped　out　of　the　animal　outfit；　Winder　saw　that　she　was　wearing　only　a　bra　and　panties。　He　tried　not　to　stare。
　Carrie　hung　the　costume　on　a　pair　of　hooks　in　the　locker。　She　said；　〃This　damn　thing　weighs　a　ton；　I　wish　you'd　write　that　down。　It's　about　a　hundred　twenty　degrees　inside；　too。　OSHA　made　them　put　in　air　conditioners；　but　they're　always　broken。〃
　Winder　stepped　closer　to　examine　the　raccoon　costume；　not　Carrie　Lanier　in　her　bra　（which　was　the　type　that　unhooked　in　the　front；　pink　with　lacy　cups）。
　Winder　held　up　the　animal　suit　and　said；　〃Where's　the　AC？〃
　〃In　the　back。　Here；　look。〃　Carrie　showed　him。　〃The　batteries　last　about　two　hours　max；　then　forget　about　it。　We　tried　to　call　the　feds　and　plain…what　a　joke。　They　haven't　been　out　here　since　the　day　Petey　Possum　died。〃
　〃Do　I　want　to　hear　this　story？〃
　〃Heart　attack；〃　Carrie　Lanier　went　on。　〃This　was　Sessums。　Billy　Sessums。　The　very　first　Petey　Possum。　He'd　been　twenty…two　years　with　Disneyland…Goofy；　Pluto；　you　name　it。　Billy　was　a　pro。　He　taught　me　plenty。〃
　〃So　what　happened？〃
　〃One　of　those　days。　Ninety…two　in　the　shade；　one　twelve　inside　the　possum　suit。　The　AC　went　out；　and　so　did　Billy。〃　Carrie　Lanier　paused　reflectively。　〃He　was　an　older　fella　but　still。。。〃
　〃I'm　sorry；〃　said　Joe　Winder。　He　put　his　notebook　away。　He　was　starting　to　feel　prickly　and　claustrophobic。
　Carrie　said；　〃You're　gonna　put　my　name　in　the　press　release？〃
　〃I'm　afraid　not。　It's　pany　policy　not　to　identify　the　actors　who　portray　the　animal　characters。　Mr。　Kingsbury　says　it　would　spoil　the　illusion　for　the　children。〃
　Carrie　laughed。　〃Some　illusion。　I've　had　kids　grab　my　boobs；　right　through　the　costume。　One　time　there　was　a　Shriner；　tried　to　goose　me　in　the　Magic　Mansion。〃
　Winder　said；　〃How'd　they　know　you　were　a　woman？〃
　〃That's　the　scary　part。〃　Her　eyes　flashed　mischievously。　〃What　if　they　didn't　know　I　was　a　woman？　What　if　they　thought　I　was　a　real　raccoon？　What　would　Mr。　Francis　X。　Kingsbury　say　about　that？〃　She　took　a　pair　of　blue　jeans　out　of　the　locker　and　squirmed　into　them。　〃Anyhow；　I　don't　want　my　name　in　any　stupid　press　release；〃　she　said。　〃Not　for　this　place。〃
　〃Maybe　not；　but　you　did　a　brave　thing；〃　said　Winder。
　As　Carrie　buttoned　her　blouse；　she　said；　〃I　don't　want　my　folks　knowing　what　I　do。　You　blame　me？〃
　〃You　make　lots　of　little　children　happy。　What's　wrong　with　that？〃
　She　looked　at　him　evenly。　〃You're　new　here；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Yeah；〃　Joe　Winder　said。
　〃My　job's　crummy；　but　you　know　what？　I　think　your　job　is　worse。〃
　
　Joe　Winder　wrote　the　press　release　in　forty　minutes。　〃Theft　of　Rare　Animals　Stuns　Amazing　Kingdom。〃　Ten　paragraphs　on　the　crime　itself；　with　a　nod　to　the　heroics　of　Robbie　Raccoon　（〃who　barely　escaped　serious　injury〃）。　Three　paragraphs　of　official　reaction　（〃a　sad　and　shocking　event〃）　from　Francis　X。　Kingsbury；　chairman　and　president　of　the　park。　Three　graphs　more　of　scientific　background　on　the　blue…tongued　mango　vole；　with　a　suitable　quote　from　Dr。　Will　Koocher。　A　hundred　words　about　the　10；000　reward；　and　a　hundred　more　announcing　new　beefed…up　security　precautions　at　the　park。
　Winder　put　the　press　release　on　Charles　Chelsea's　desk　and　went　home。　By　the　time　he　called　Nina；　it　was　nearly　one　in　the　morning。　He　dialed　the　number　and　hoped　she　would　be　the　one　to　answer。
　〃Hello；　sugar；〃　Nina　said。
　〃It's　me。〃
　〃God；　I　need　to　talk　to　a　real　man；〃　she　said。　〃I　had　a　fantasy　that　got　me　so　hot。　We　were　on　the　bow　of　a　sailboat。　Making　love　in　the　sun。　I　was　on　top。　Suddenly　a　terrible　storm　came…〃
　〃Nina；　it's　me！〃
　〃…but　instead　of　hiding　in　the　cabin；　we　lashed　each　other　to　the　deck　and　kept　on　doing　it　in　the　lightning　and　thunder。　Afterwards　the　warm　rain　washed　the　salt　off　our　bodies。。。。〃
　〃For　Christ's　sake。〃
　〃Joe？〃