ch.nativetongue-第29章

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　Molly　chuckled　lightly。　〃Don't　be　silly。　No　one　will　recognize　you　dressed　the　way　you　are。〃
　She　had　bought　them　plete　golfing　outfits；　polyester　down　to　the　matching　socks。　Danny　Pogue's　ensemble　was　raspberry　red　and　Bud　Schwartz's　was　baby　blue。　The　pants　were　thin　and　baggy；　the　shirts　had　short　sleeves　and　loud　horizontal　stripes　and　a　tiny　fox　stitched　on　the　left　breast。
　Bud　Schwartz　said；　〃You　realize　we　look　like　total　dipshits。〃
　〃No；　you　look　like　tourists。〃
　〃It's　not　that　bad；〃　agreed　Danny　Pogue。
　〃Listen；〃　Molly　said　again。　〃When　you're　done　with　the　job；　get　in　the　Cutlass　and　e　straight　back　to　my　place。　The　phone　will　ring　at　one　sharp。　If　you're　not　there；　I'm　going　directly　to　the　post　office　and　mail　these　snapshots　to　the　police；　along　with　your　names。　Do　you　believe　me？〃
　〃Yeah；　sure；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。
　She　got　out　of　the　Cadillac　and　opened　the　doors　for　the　burglars。　〃How　is　your　hand？〃　she　asked　Bud　Schwartz。　〃Better　let　your　friend　carry　the　camera　bag。〃
　She　held　Danny　Pogue's　crutch　（mending　quickly；　he　was　down　to　one）　while　he　slipped　the　camera　bag　over　his　right　shoulder。　〃The　tram's　ing；〃　she　announced。　〃Better　get　moving。〃
　As　the　men　hobbled　away；　Molly　called　out　cheerfully　and　waved　good…bye；　as　if　she　were　their　mother；　or　a　loving　old　aunt。
　With　a　trace　of　fondness；　Danny　Pogue　said；　〃Look　at　her。〃
　〃Look　at　us；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃Real　fucking　pros。〃
　〃Well；　at　least　it's　for　a　good　cause。　You　know；　saving　them　butterflies。〃
　Bud　Schwartz　eyed　his　partner　in　a　clinical　way。　〃Danny；　you　ever　had　a　CAT　scan？〃
　〃A　what？〃
　〃Nothing。〃
　The　burglars　were　huffing　pretty　heavily　by　the　time　they　made　it　to　the　tram。　They　climbed　on　the　last　car；　along　with　a　family　of　nine　from　Minneapolis。　Every　one　of　them　had　sandy　hair　and　Nordic…blue　eyes　and　eyebrows　so　blond　they　looked　white　in　the　sunlight。
　A　little　girl　of　about　seven　turned　to　Danny　Pogue　and　asked　what　had　happened　to　his　foot。
　〃I　got　shot；〃　he　said　candidly。
　The　little　girl　flashed　a　glance　at　her　mother；　whose　eyes　widened。
　〃A　tetanus　shot；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃He　stepped　on　a　rusty　nail。〃
　The　mother's　eyes　softened　with　relief。　〃Where　are　you　from？〃　she　asked　the　men。
　〃Portugal；〃　said　Danny　Pogue；　trying　to　live　up　to　the　tourist　act。
　〃Portugal；　Ohio；〃　Bud　Schwartz　said；　thinking：　There　is　no　hope　for　this　guy；　he　simply　can't　be　allowed　to　speak。
　The　tiny　blond　girl　piped　up：　〃We　heard　on　the　radio　that　the　whale　died　yesterday。　Orky　the　whale。〃
　〃Oh　no；〃　said　Danny　Pogue。　〃You　sure？〃
　The　tram　rolled　to　a　stop　in　front　of　the　main　gate；　where　the　burglars　got　off。　Nodding　good…bye　to　the　blond　Minneapolitans；　Bud　Schwartz　and　Danny　Pogue　slipped　into　the　throng　and　located　the　shortest　line　at　the　ticket　turnstiles。
　In　a　gruff　tone；　Bud　Schwartz　said；　〃Portugal？　What　kind　of　fuckhead　answer　is　that？〃
　〃I　don't　know；　Bud。　I　don't　know　a　damn　thing　about　tourists　or　where　they　e　from。〃
　〃Then　don't　say　anything；　you　understand？〃　Bud　Schwartz　got　out　the　money　that　Molly　had　given　them　to　buy　the　admission　tickets。　He　counted　out　thirty…six　dollars　and　handed　the　cash　to　his　partner。
　〃Just　hold　up　one　finger；　that's　all　you　gotta　do；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃One　finger　means　one　ticket。　Don't　say　a　goddamn　thing。〃
　〃All　right；〃　Danny　Pogue　said。　〃Man；　I　can't　believe　the　whale　croaked；　can　you？〃
　〃Shut　up；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃I'm　not　kidding。〃
　Danny　Pogue　didn't　seem　the　least　bit　nervous　about　returning　to　the　scene　of　their　crime。　To　him　the　Amazing　Kingdom　of　Thrills　was　a　terrific　place；　and　he　strutted　around　with　a　permanent　grin。　Bud　Schwartz　thought：　He's　worse　than　these　damn　kids。
　Outside　the　Magic　Mansion；　Danny　Pogue　stopped　to　shake　hands　with　Petey　Possum。　A　tourist　lady　from　Atlanta　took　a　photograph；　and　Danny　Pogue　begged　her　to　send　him　a　copy。　At　this　point　Bud　Schwartz　considered　ditching　the　dumb　shit　altogether　and　pulling　the　job　alone。
　Golf　duds　and　all；　Bud　Schwartz　was　antsy　about　being　back　on　the　premises　so　soon　after〃　the　rat…napping；　it　went　against　his　long…standing　aversion　to　dumb　risk。　He　wanted　to　hurry　up　and　get　the　hell　out。
　It　wasn't　easy　locating　Francis　X。　Kingsbury's　office　because　it　didn't　appear　on　any　of　the　colorful　maps　or　diagrams　posted　throughout　the　amusement　park。　Bud　Schwartz　and　Danny　Pogue　checked　closely；　there　was　the　Cimarron　Trail　Ride；　Orky's　Undersea　Paradise；　the　Wet　Willy；　the　Jungle　Jerry　Amazon　Boat　Cruise；　Bigfoot　Mountain；　Excitement　Boulevard；　and　so　on；　with　no　mention　of　the　administration　building。　Bud　Schwartz　decided　Kingsbury's　headquarters　must　be　somewhere　in　the　geographic　center　of　the　Amazing　Kingdom　of　Thrills；　and　for　security　reasons　probably　wasn't　marked。
　〃Why　don't　we　ask　somebody？〃　Danny　Pogue　suggested。
　〃Very　smart；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃I　got　a　better　idea。　Why　don't　we　just　paint　the　word　'thief'　in　big　red　letters　on　our　goddamn　foreheads？〃
　Danny　Pogue　wasn't　sure　why　his　partner　was　in　such　a　lousy　mood。　The　Kingdom　was　awesome；　fantastic；　sensational。　Everywhere　they　went；　elves　and　fairy　princesses　and　happy　animal　characters　waved　or　shook　hands　or　gave　a　hug。
　〃I　never　seen　so　much　friendliness；〃　he　remarked。
　〃It's　the　crutch；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。
　〃No　way。〃
　〃It's　the　damn　crutch；　I'm　tellin'　you。　They're　only　being　nice　because　they　got　to；　Danny。　Anytime　there's　a　customer　on　crutches；　they　make　a　special　point。　You　know；　in　case　he's　dying　a　some　fatal　disease。〃
　Danny　Pogue　said；　〃You　go　to　hell。〃
　〃Ten　bucks　says　it's　right　in　the　training　manual。〃
　〃Bud；　I　swear　to　God。〃
　〃Gimme　the　crutch　and　I'll　prove　it。〃
　Danny　Pogue　said；　〃You're　the　one's　always　on　my　ass　about　attitude。　And　now　just　listen　to　yourself…all　because　people're　actin'　nice　to　me　and　not　to　you。〃
　〃That's　not　it；〃　said　Bud　Schwartz；　but　when　he　turned　around　his　partner　was　gone。　He　found　him　on　line　at　the　Wild　Bill　Hiccup　rodeo　ride；　Danny　Pogue　had　stashed　his　crutch　in　the　men's　room　and　was　determined　to　give　Wild　Bill　Hiccup　a　go。　Bud　Schwartz　was　tired　of　bickering。
　The　ride　was　set　up　in　an　indoor　corral　that　had　been　laboriously　fabricated；　from　the　brown…dyed　dirt　to　the　balsa　fence　posts　to　the　polyethylene　cowshit　that　lay　in　neat　regular　mounds；　free　of　flies。　Twenty…five　mechanical　bulls　（only　the　horns　were　real）　jumped　and　bucked　on　hidden　tracks　while　a　phony　rodeo　announcer　described　the　action　through　a　realistically　tinny　megaphone。
　During　this　particular　session；　the　twenty…five　bulls　were　mounted　by　twenty…three　tourists　and　two　professional　crooks。　Before　the　ride　began；　Bud　Schwartz　leaned　over　to　Danny　Pogue　and　told　him　to　be　sure　and　fall　off。
　〃What？〃
　〃You　heard　me。　And　make　it　look　good。〃
　When　the　bell　rang；　Bud　Schwartz　hung　on　with　his　good　hand　and　bounced　back　and　forth　for　maybe　a　minute　without　feeling　anything　close　to　excitement。　Danny　Pogue；　however；　was　launched　almost　instantly　from　the　sponge　hump　of　his　motorized　Brahma…a　tumble　so　spectacular　that　it　brought　three　pany　Cowpokes　out　of　the　bronco　chute　at　a　dead　run。　They　surrounded　Danny　Pogue；　measured　his　blood　pressure；　palpated　his　ribs　and　abdomen；　listened　to　his　heart；　shined　a　light　in　his　eyeballs　and　finally　shoved　a　piece　of　paper　under　his　nose。
　〃Why　don't　you　put　your　name　on　this；　li'l　pardner？〃　said　one　of　the　Cowpokes。
　Danny　Pogue　examined　the　document；　shook　his　head　and　handed　it　to　Bud　Schwartz　for　interpretation。
　〃Release　of　liability；〃　Bud　Schwartz　said。　He　looked　up　with　a　dry　smile。　〃This　means　we　can't　sue；　right？〃
　〃Naw；〃　said　the　solicitous　Cowpoke。　〃All　it　means　is　your　buddy's　not　hurt。〃
　〃Says　who？〃　said　Bud　Schwartz。　〃Bunch　a　dumb　cowboy　shit…kickers。　Thanks；　but　I　think　we'll　try　our　luck　with　an　actual　doctor。〃
　The　Cowpokes　didn't　look　so　amiable　anymore；　or　so　Western。　In　fact；　they　were　starting　to　look　like　pissed…off　Miami　insurance　men。　Danny　Pogue　got　to　his　feet；　dusted　off　his　butt　and　said；　〃Hell；　Bud；　it's　my　fault　anyhow…〃
　〃Not　another　word。〃　Bud　Schwartz　seized　his　partner　by　the　elbow；　as　if　to　prop　him　up。　Then　he　announced　to　the　Cowpokes：　〃We'd　like　to　file　a　plaint　about　this　ri