lrh.fortuneoffear-第9章

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　　　The　Countess　was　looking　over　Mamie　Boomp's　list　to　see　if　she　had　missed　anything　important　like　the　right　color　necklace　to　go　with　the　breakfast；　sea…green　organdy；　casual　house　wrap。　Absently；　she　reached　into　a　pocket　of　her　cloak　and　handed　him　something。
　　　At　first；　I　thought　it　was　the　necklace。　I　couldn't　see　as　she　was　looking　at　the　list；　not　him。
　　　The　accounts　manager　said；　〃Jerome　Terrance　Wister；　Empire　State　Building？　That's　an　office。〃　She　must　have　given　him　the　scrap　on　which　I　had　written　Heller's　address。
　　　〃Yes；〃　said　the　Countess　absently。　〃I　suppose　it　is。　My　man　is　very　important。　He　is　here　to　make　the　planet　run　right　so　I　suppose　he　has　to　have　an　office。　Could
　　　I　add　an　aquamarine　necklace　to　that　list　here？　I　overlooked　it。〃
　　　The　accounts　manager　walked　away。　He　had　gone　into　another　office　to　phone。　They　always　do。　It　would　be　impolite；　even　nasty；　to　discuss　money　in　front　of　a　customer。
　　　I　tried　to　turn　my　sound　up　and　overhear。　All　I　got　was　a　jet　plane　taking　off　over　at　the　airport。
　　　Oh；　Heller；　you　might　have　been　in　trouble　before；　but　you're　really　over　your　head　now！　178；985。65　plus　New　York　tax　and　an　aquamarine　necklace！　You'll　drown！
　　　After　a　bit　the　accounts　manager　came　back。　〃Where　did　you　just　e　from；　Miss？〃
　　　Oho；　I　bet　that　had　been　a　surprise　to　Heller！　He　might　even　be　feeling　amazed。　But　he　sure　would　shortly　be　sick　if　the　accounts　manager　hadn't　yet　given　him　the　total！
　　　The　Countess　Krak　fished　around　in　her　pocket　and　came　up　with　the　messy　ticket　folder；　now　all　ripped　out。　〃Afyon；　Turkey；〃　she　said。　And　she　held　out　the　folder　with　that　on　it。
　　　〃The　identity　verifies；　then；〃　said　the　accounts　manager。　〃I　will　add　the　necklace　to　this　bill。　They　just　called　up　the　price。　So；　with　your　permission；　I　will　total　it。〃
　　　The　Countess　Krak　was　still　reverifying　her　list。
　　　The　accounts　manager　wrote　a　final　figure　on　an　invoice。　He　pushed　it　toward　the　Countess　Krak　and　tendered　her　a　pen。　〃If　you　please；〃　he　said；　〃your　signature。〃
　　　〃How　do　I　sign　this？〃　said　the　Countess　Krak；　taking　the　pen。
　　　〃Why；　just　like　this；　of　course。　Don't　change　it　in　any　way。　It　always　causes　a　terrible　row　when　they　do。〃
　　　He　put　down　the　item　I　had　written　Heller's　Earth　name　and　address　on。　Then　he　turned　it　over。
　　　The　Countess's　eyes　focused　on　Sultan　Bey　and/or　Concubine。　Roman　Villa。　Afyon；　Turkey。
　　　IT　WAS　MY　OWN　SQUEEZA　CREDIT　CARD！
　　　I　reeled。　There　must　be　some　awful　error！　I　yanked　the　pack　out　of　my　pocket　and　shuffled　rapidly　through　them。　The　Squeeza　card　was　GONE！
　　　Oh；　Gods；　in　my　haste　to　find　something　to　write　Heller's　address　on；　I　had　lucklessly　chosen　the　only　credit　card　in　the　deck　that　had　a　totally　blank　back　and　was　not　in　laminated　plastic！　And　it　was　a　credit　pany　whose　monthly　interest　charge；　in　one　month　of　unpaid　balance；　would　equal　the　original　bill！　The　worst　credit　hounder　of　the　mob！
　　　There　was　still　a　chance。　She　might　bungle　the　signing！　They　still　might　detect　she　was　not　Utanc；　not　the　〃concubine；〃　and　sling　her　in　jail　for　forgery。　I　held　my　breath。
　　　But　the　Countess　Krak　was　obeying　orders。　Penmanship　was　a　fitting　part　of　her　criminal　talents。　She　signed　it　just　like　she　had　been　told：　〃Sultan　Bey　and/or　Concubine。　Roman　Villa。　Afyon；　Turkey。〃
　　　With　a　sickening　surge；　I　suddenly　realized　that　she　had　thought　I　had　given　her　a　credit　card！　She　was　so　（bleeped）　stupid　she　didn't　even　realize　she　was　forging　anything！　She　would　have　that　as　a　defense　if　they　detected　it！
　　　But　the　manager　took　the　finished　product；　pared　it　expertly　to　the　card　and　nodded。　All　hope　died　within　me。
　　　〃Miss；〃　he　said　to　the　Countess　Krak；　〃according　to　the　accounts　and　credit　report　I　just　got　from　the　Central
　　　Credit　Card　Bureau；　your　master　is　always　easy　to　locate。　We　can　find　him　right　down　to　the　hour　and　minute　at　any　time。　But　you；　I　am　sorry　to　say；　having　a　WATS　phone　line　you　use　all　over　the　world；　can　never　be　spotted。　Please　tell　us　where　you　are　from　time　to　time。　You　see；　it　is　giving　our　downtown　store　problems。〃
　　　〃Oh；　I'm　sorry；〃　said　the　Countess　Krak；　undoubtedly　mystified　but　taking　this　strange　planet　in　stride。
　　　〃Yes。　We　always　send　our　best　customers　flowers　every　Saturday。　Your　favorite　black　orchids　have　been　ing　back　from　the　Bentley　Bucks　Deluxe　Arms　penthouse。　So　is　it　now　all　right　for　us　to　send　them　to　this　office　at　the　Empire　State　Building？〃
　　　〃Quite　all　right；〃　said　the　Countess　Krak　with　charm。　〃But　please　include　the　store　card　prominently　so　my　man　won't　think　they're　from　some　stupid　Apparatus　executive　and　kill　him。〃
　　　〃I　quite　understand；〃　said　the　accounts　executive　and　dutifully　made　a　note　of　it：　〃Must　not　plicate　extra…concubine　affairs。〃　Aloud；　he　said；　〃Discretion　must　always　be　our　watchword。　After　all；　we　have　no　interest　where　the　lady　spends　her　nights　off　or　even　in　her　travels。　It　is　the　man　we　are　interested　in。　His　whereabouts　down　to　the　last　square　inch　is　always　of　great　concern；　for；　after　all；　he　foots　the　bills。〃
　　　He　had　his　paperwork　done。　The　digital　counters　he　used　for　eyes　were　rolling。　The　crocodile　smile　stretched　his　lips。　He　was　changing　his　role　to　salesman。　〃The　Central　Credit　Card　Bureau　also　added　a　personal　note　about　you；　Miss。　According　to　Squeeza　reports　you　always　use　only　limousine　service。　So　when　you　are　through　with　your　coiffure　appointment　and　you　have　been　dressed　and　the　rest　is　ready　to　go；　we　insist　you　take　our　president's　limousine　into　town。　The　limousine　stewardess　needs　to　be　told　what　brand　of　drink　you　would　care　for　on　the　tedious　ride。〃
　　　〃Hot　jolt；〃　said　the　Countess　promptly。
　　　The　accounts　manager　wrote　down；　〃Bavarian　Mocha　Mint；　dash　of　champagne。〃　Inventive　fellow；　used　to　catering　to　the　bizarre　denizens　of　the　upper　crust。
　　　〃Now　I　must　inform　you；〃　he　said；　〃of　a　new　service　this　branch　of　Bonbucks　Teller　has　instituted。　It　is　called　'Central　Credit　Card　Spree　Buying　Titillating　Rare　and　mon　modity　Procurement　Service　for　the　Rich　Lady　Who　Is　Too　Busy　to　Go　Rooting　Crassly　About　in　Stores。'〃　He　gave　her　a　golden　card　with　a　phone　number　embossed　on　it。　〃Now　that　we　have　met　you　and　established　your　identity　and　acquired　your　gracious　patronage；　this　service　is　yours　to　mand。〃
　　　She　hadn't　put　the　golden　card　in　her　pocket　so　he　delicately　reached　across　and　made　sure　that　it　got　there。　〃We　are　trying　to　cure　the　public　impression　that　this　branch　of　Bonbucks　Teller　is　out　in　the　woods。　For　we；　here　next　to　the　mighty　jets　of　JFK；　are　an　open　door　to　all　the　stores　of　the　world。　Our　motto　is　'Serve　the　Ladies　at　Any　Cost　No　Matter　How　Great。'　We　can　spare　you　the　tedium　of　browsing　through　Tiffany's。　We　can　get　you　furs　from　Siberia　or　a　special　Rolls　Royce　off　the　British　assembly　line　in　the　flicker　of　an　eye　and　send　it　straight　to　you。　You　don't　need　to　undergo　these　boorish　formalities　again　with　us。　Just　call　the　number　on　the　golden　card　and　the　charge　will　at　once　be　picked　up　by　Squeeza　and　added　to　their　monthly　bill。　All　so　simple。　Just　a　call　and　state　your　heart's　desire。〃
　　　He　stood　up。　Her　hairdresser　was　twisting　curlers　at　the　door；　waiting　to　escort　her　to　his　salon　on　the　roof。
　　　The　credit　manager　took　both　her　hands　in　his。　He　squeezed　her　fingers　fervently。　〃It　is　SUCH　a　pleasure　to　do　business　with　a　customer　who；　by　every　report；　has　credit　that　is　absolutely　UNLIMITED！〃
　　　During　his　speeches　I　had　been　wildly　thinking　of　some　way　to　invalidate　the　signature；　invalidate　the　card；　point　out　that　a　HORRIBLE　mistake　had　been　made。　It　had　begun　to　be　borne　in　upon　me　that　I　could　not　without　exposing　my　true　hostility　to　the　Countess　Krak　and　my　actual　intentions　for　her　and　Heller。　They　would　kill　me　out　of　hand！
　　　But　at　those　horrible　words；　〃credit　that　is　absolutely　UNLIMITED；〃　I　lost　all　grip　on　hopes　and　senses。
　　　My　supply　of　adrenalin　was　all　used　up。
　　　I　fainted　dead　away！
　　　And　as　I　sank　into　the　swirling　mists；　a　voice　seemed　to　be　echoing　hollowly　as　in　a　tomb。　It　was　my　own；　telling　her　to　〃Buy！　Buy！　Buy！〃　that　very