lmb.shardsofhonor-第51章

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　Vorkosigan　blew　out　his　breath。　〃He's　been　dying　for　the　last　eleven　months。　Can't　he　die　a　little　longer？〃
　Vortala　chuckled。　〃Five　months；〃　he　corrected　absently；　then　frowned　speculation　at　Vorkosigan。　〃Hm。　Well；　it　has　been　very　convenient　for　him。　He's　flushed　more　rats　out　of　the　wainscotting　in　the　last　five　months　than　the　past　twenty　years。　You　could　practically　mark　the　shakedowns　in　the　Ministries　by　his　medical　bulletins。　One　week：　condition　very　grave。　Next　week：　another　deputy　minister　caught　out　on　charges　of　peculation；　or　whatever。〃　He　became　serious　again。　〃But　it's　the　real　thing；　this　time。　You　must　see　him　today。　Tomorrow　could　be　too　late。　Two　weeks　from　now　will　definitely　be　too　late。〃
　Vorkosigan's　lips　tightened。　〃What　does　he　want　me　for？　Did　he　say？〃
　〃Ah。。。　I　believe　he　has　a　post　in　mind　for　you　in　the　uping　Regency　government。　The　one　you　didn't　want　to　hear　about　at　your　last　meeting。〃
　Vorkosigan　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　think　there's　a　post　in　the　government　that　would　tempt　me　to　step　back　into　that　arena。　Well；　maybe…no。　Not　even　the　Ministry　of　War。　It's　too　damn　dangerous。　I　have　a　nice　quiet　life　here。〃　His　arm　circled　Cordelia's　waist　protectively。　〃We're　going　to　have　a　family。　I'll　not　risk　them　in　those　gladiator　politics。〃
　〃Yes；　I　can　just　picture　you；　whiling　away　your　twilight　years…at　age　forty…four。　Ha！　Picking　grapes；　sailing　your　boat…your　father　told　me　about　your　sailboat。　I　hear　they're　going　to　rename　the　village　Vorkosigan　Sourleau　in　your　honor；　by　the　way…〃
　Vorkosigan　snorted；　and　they　exchanged　an　ironic　bow。
　〃Anyway；　you　will　have　to　tell　him　so　yourself。〃
　〃I'd　be…curious；　to　see　the　man；〃　murmured　Cordelia。　〃If　it's　really　the　last　chance。〃
　Vortala　smiled　at　her；　and　Vorkosigan　yielded；　reluctantly。　They　returned　to　his　bedroom　to　dress；　Cordelia　in　her　most　formal　afternoon　wear；　Vorkosigan　in　the　dress　greens　he　had　not　worn　since　their　wedding。
　〃Why　so　jumpy？〃　asked　Cordelia。　〃Maybe　he　just　wants　to　bid　you　farewell　or　something。〃
　〃We're　talking　about　a　man　who　can　make　even　his　own　death　serve　his　political　purposes；　remember？　And　if　there's　some　way　to　govern　Barrayar　from　beyond　the　grave；　you　can　bet　he's　figured　it　out。　I've　never　e　out　ahead　on　any　dealing　I've　ever　had　with　him。〃
　On　that　ambiguous　note　they　joined　the　Prime　Minister　for　the　flight　back　to　Vorbarr　Sultana。
　The　Imperial　Residence　was　an　old　building；　almost　a　museum　piece；　thought　Cordelia；　as　they　climbed　the　worn　granite　steps　to　its　east　portico。　The　long　facade　was　heavy　with　stone　carving；　each　figure　an　individual　work　of　art；　the　aesthetic　opposite　of　the　modern；　faceless　Ministry　buildings　rising　a　kilometer　or　two　to　the　east。
　They　were　ushered　into　a　room　half　hospital；　half　antique　display。　Tall　windows　looked　out　on　the　formal　gardens　and　lawns　to　the　north　of　the　Residence。　The　room's　principal　inhabitant　lay　in　a　huge　carved　bed　inherited　from　some　splendor…minded　ancestor；　his　body　pierced　in　a　dozen　places　by　the　utilitarian　plastic　tubes　that　kept　him　alive　this　day。
　Ezar　Vorbarra　was　the　whitest　man　Cordelia　had　ever　seen；　as　white　as　his　sheets；　as　white　as　his　hair。　His　skin　was　white　and　wrinkled　over　his　sunken　cheeks。　His　eyelids　were　white；　heavy　and　hooded　over　hazel　eyes　whose　like　she　had　seen　once　before；　dimly　in　a　mirror。　His　hands　were　white；　with　blue　veins　standing　up　on　their　backs。　His　teeth；　when　he　spoke；　were　ivory　yellow　against　their　bloodless　backdrop。
　Vortala　and　Vorkosigan；　and　after　an　uncertain　beat　Cordelia；　went　down　on　one　knee　beside　the　bed。　The　Emperor　waved　his　attendant　physician　out　of　the　room　with　a　little　effortful　jerk　of　one　finger。　The　man　bowed　and　left。　They　stood；　Vortala　rather　stiffly。
　〃So；　Aral；〃　said　the　Emperor。　〃Tell　me　how　I　look。〃
　〃Very　ill；　sir。〃
　Vorbarra　chuckled；　and　coughed。　〃You　refresh　me。　First　honest　opinion　I've　heard　from　anyone　in　weeks。　Even　Vortala　beats　around　the　bush。〃　His　voice　cracked；　and　he　cleared　his　throat　of　phlegm。　〃Pissed　away　the　last　of　my　melanin　last　week。　That　damned　doctor　won't　let　me　out　into　my　garden　anymore　during　daylight。〃　He　snorted；　for　disapproval　or　breath。　〃So　this　is　your　Betan；　eh？　e　here；　girl。〃
　Cordelia　approached　the　bed；　and　the　white　old　man　stared　into　her　face；　hazel　eyes　intent。　〃mander　Illyan　has　told　me　of　you。　Captain　Negri；　too。　I've　seen　all　your　Survey　records；　you　know。　And　that　astonishing　flight　of　fancy　of　your　psychiatrist's。　Negri　wanted　to　hire　her；　just　to　generate　ideas　for　his　section。　Vorkosigan；　being　Vorkosigan；　has　told　me　much　less。〃　He　paused；　as　if　for　breath。　〃Tell　me　quite　truly；　now…what　do　you　see　in　him；　a　broken…down；　ah；　what　was　that　phrase？　Hired　killer？〃
　〃Aral　has　told　you　something；　it　seems；〃　she　said；　startled　to　hear　her　own　words　in　his　mouth。　She　stared　back　at　him　with　equal　curiosity。　The　question　seemed　to　demand　an　honest　answer；　and　she　struggled　to　frame　it。
　〃I　suppose…I　see　myself。　Or　someone　like　myself。　We're　both　looking　for　the　same　thing。　We　call　it　by　different　names；　and　look　in　different　places。　I　believe　he　calls　it　honor。　I　guess　I'd　call　it　the　grace　of　God。　We　both　e　up　empty；　mostly。〃
　〃Ah；　yes。　I　recall　from　your　file　that　you　are　some　sort　of　theist；〃　said　the　Emperor。　〃I　am　an　atheist；　myself。　A　simple　faith；　but　a　great　fort　to　me；　in　these　last　days。〃
　〃Yes；　I　have　often　felt　the　pull　of　it　myself。〃
　〃Hm。〃　He　smiled　at　that。　〃A　very　interesting　answer；　in　light　of　what　Vorkosigan　said　about　you。〃
　〃What　was　that；　sir？〃　asked　Cordelia；　her　curiosity　piqued。
　〃You　must　get　him　to　tell　you。　It　was　in　confidence。　Very　poetic；　too。　I　was　surprised。〃　He　waved　her　away；　as　if　satisfied；　and　motioned　Vorkosigan　closer。　Vorkosigan　stood　in　a　kind　of　aggressive　parade　rest。　His　mouth　was　sardonic　but　his　eyes；　Cordelia　saw；　were　moved。
　〃How　long　have　you　served　me；　Aral？〃　asked　the　Emperor。
　〃Since　my　mission；　twenty…six　years。　Or　do　you　mean　body　and　blood？〃
　〃Body　and　blood。　I　always　counted　it　from　the　day　old　Yuri's　death　squad　slew　your　mother　and　uncle。　The　night　your　father　and　Prince　Xav　came　to　me　at　Green　Army　Headquarters　with　their　peculiar　proposition。　Day　One　of　Yuri　Vorbarra's　Civil　War。　Why　is　it　never　called　Piotr　Vorkosigan's　Civil　War；　I　wonder？　Ah；　well。　How　old　were　you？〃
　〃Eleven；　sir。〃
　〃Eleven。　I　was　just　the　age　you　are　now。　Strange。　So　body　and　blood　you　have　served　me…damn；　you　know　this　thing　is　starting　to　affect　my　brain；　now。。。〃
　〃Thirty…three　years；　sir。〃
　〃God。　Thank　you。　Not　much　time　left。〃
　From　the　cynical　expression　on　his　face　Cordelia　gathered　that　Vorkosigan　was　not　in　the　least　convinced　of　the　Emperor's　self…proclaimed　senility。
　The　old　man　cleared　his　throat　again。　〃I　always　meant　to　ask　what　you　and　old　Yuri　said　to　each　other；　that　day　two　years　later　when　we　finally　butchered　him　in　that　old　castle。　I've　developed　a　particular　interest　in　Emperors'　last　words；　lately。　Count　Vorhalas　thought　you　were　playing　with　him。〃
　Vorkosigan's　eyes　closed　briefly；　in　pain　or　memory。　〃Hardly。　Oh；　I　thought　I　was　eager　for　the　first　cut；　until　he　was　stripped　and　held　before　me。　Then…I　had　this　impulse　to　strike　suddenly　at　his　throat；　and　end　it　cleanly；　just　be　done　with　it。〃
　The　Emperor　smiled　sourly；　eyes　closed。　〃What　a　riot　that　would　have　started。〃
　〃Mm。　I　think　he　knew　by　my　face　I　was　funking　out。　He　leered　at　me。　'Strike；　little　boy。　If　you　dare　while　you　wear　my　uniform。　My　uniform　on　a　child。'　That　was　all　he　said。　I　said；　'You　killed　all　the　children　in　that　room；'　which　was　fatuous；　but　it　was　the　best　I　could　e　up　with　at　the　time；　then　took　my　cut　out　of　his　stomach。　I　often　wished　I'd　said…said　something　else；　later。　But　mostly　I　wished　I'd　had　the　guts　to　follow　my　first　Impulse。〃
　〃You　looked　pretty　green；　out　on　the　parapet　in　the　rain。〃
　〃He'd　started　screaming　by　then。　I　was　sorry　my　hearing　had　e　back。〃
　The　Emperor　sighed。　〃Yes；　I　remember。〃
　〃You　stage…managed　it。〃
　〃Somebody　had　to。〃　He　paused；　resting；　then　added；　〃Well；　I　didn't　call　you　here　to　chat　over　old　times。　Did　my　Prime　Minister　tell　you　my　purpose？〃
　〃Something　about　a　post。　I　told　him　I　wasn't