pgw.uneasymoney-第23章
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。 She was； moreover； delighted at Claire's engagement。 It seemed to her； for she had no knowledge of the existence of Lord Dawlish； a genuine manifestation of Love's Young Dream。 She liked Dudley Pickering and she was devoted to Claire。 It made her happy to think that it was she who had brought them together。
But of the other members of the party； Dudley Pickering was unhappy because he feared that burglars were about to raid the house； Roscoe Sherriff because he feared they were not； Claire because； now that the news of the engagement was out； it seemed to be everybody's aim to leave her alone with Mr Pickering； whose undiluted society tended to pall。 And Lord Wetherby was unhappy because he found Eustace； the monkey； a perpetual strain upon his artistic nerves。 It was Eustace who had driven him to his shack in the woods。 He could have painted far more fortably in the house； but Eustace had developed a habit of stealing up to him and plucking the leg of his trousers； and an artist simply cannot give of his best with that sort of thing going on。
Lady Wetherby wrote on。 She was not fond of letter…writing and she had allowed her correspondence to accumulate； but she was disposing of it in an energetic and conscientious way； when the entrance of Wrench； the butler； interrupted her。
Wrench had been imported from England at the request of Lord Wetherby； who had said that it soothed him and kept him from feeling home…sick to see a butler about the place。 Since then he had been hanging to the establishment as it were by a hair。 He gave the impression of being always on the point of giving notice。 There were so many things connected with his position of which he disapproved。 He had made no official pronouncement of the matter； but Lady Wetherby knew that he disapproved of her classical dancing。 His last position had been with the Dowager Duchess of Waveney； the well…known political hostess； whoeven had the somewhat generous lines on which she was built not prevented the possibility of such a thingwould have perished rather than dance barefooted in a public restaurant。 Wrench also disapproved of America。 That fact had been made plain immediately upon his arrival in the country。 He had given America one look； and then his mind was made uphe disapproved of it。
'If you please； m'lady！'
Lady Wetherby turned。 The butler was looking even more than usually disapproving； and his disapproval had； so to speak； crystallized； as if it had found some more concrete and definite objective than either barefoot dancing or the United States。
'If you please； m'ladythe hape！'
It was Wrench's custom to speak of Eustace in a tone of restrained disgust。 He disapproved of Eustace。 The Dowager Duchess of Waveney； though she kept open house for members of Parliament； would have drawn the line at monkeys。
'The hape is behaving very strange； m'lady；' said Wrench； frostily。
It has been well said that in this world there is always something。 A moment before； Lady Wetherby had been feeling pletely contented； without a care on her horizon。 It was foolish of her to have expected such a state of things to last； for what is life but a series of sharp corners； round each of which Fate lies in wait for us with a stuffed eel…skin？ Something in the butler's manner； a sort of gloating gloom which he radiated； told her that she had arrived at one of these corners now。
'The hape is seated on the kitchen…sink； m'lady； throwing new…laid eggs at the scullery…maid； and cook desired me to step up and ask for instructions。'
'What！' Lady Wetherby rose in agitation。 'What's he doing that for？' she asked； weakly。
A slight； dignified gesture was Wrench's only reply。 It was not his place to analyse the motives of monkeys。
'Throwing eggs！'
The sight of Lady Wetherby's distress melted the butler's stern reserve。 He unbent so far as to supply a clue。
'As I understand from cook； m'lady； the animal appears to have taken umbrage at a lack of cordiality on the part of the cat。 It seems that the hape attempted to fondle the cat； but the latter scratched him； being suspicious；' said Wrench； 'of his _bona fides_。' He scrutinized the ceiling with a dull eye。 'Whereupon；' he continued； 'he seized her tail and threw her with considerable force。 He then removed himself to the sink and began to hurl eggs at the scullery…maid。'
Lady Wetherby's mental eye attempted to produce a picture of the scene； but failed。
'I suppose I had better go down and see about it；' she said。
Wrench withdrew his gaze from the ceiling。
'I think it would be advisable； m'lady。 The scullery…maid is already in hysterics。'
Lady Wetherby led the way to the kitchen。 She was wroth with Eustace。 This was just the sort of thing out of which Algie would be able to make unlimited capital。 It weakened her position with Algie。 There was only one thing to doshe must hush it up。
Her first glance； however； at the actual theatre of war gave her the impression that matters had advanced beyond the hushing…up stage。 A yellow desolation brooded over the kitchen。 It was not so much a kitchen as an omelette。 There were eggs everywhere； from floor to ceiling。 She crunched her way in on a carpet of oozing shells。
Her entry was a signal for a renewal on a more impressive scale of the uproar that she had heard while opening the door。 The air was full of voices。 The cook was expressing herself in Norwegian； the parlour…maid in what appeared to be Erse。 On a chair in a corner the scullery…maid sobbed and whooped。 The odd…job man； who was a baseball enthusiast； was speaking in terms of high praise of Eustace's bined speed and control。
The only calm occupant of the room was Eustace himself； who； either through a shortage of ammunition or through weariness of the pitching…arm； had suspended active hostilities； and was now looking down on the scene from a high shelf。 There was a brooding expression in his deep…set eyes。 He massaged his right ear with the sole of his left foot in a somewhat _distrait_ manner。
'Eustace！' cried Lady Wetherby； severely。
Eustace lowered his foot and gazed at her meditatively； then at the odd…job man； then at the scullery…maid； whose voice rose high above the din。
'I rather fancy； m'lady；' said Wrench； dispassionately； 'that the animal is about to hurl a plate。'
It had escaped the notice of those present that the shelf on which the rioter had taken refuge was within fortable reach of the dresser； but Eustace himself had not overlooked this important strategic point。 As the butler spoke； Eustace picked up a plate and threw it at the scullery…maid； whom he seemed definitely to have picked out as the most hostile of the allies。 It was a fast inshoot； and hit the wall just above her head。
''At…a…boy！' said the odd…job man； reverently。
Lady Wetherby turned on him with some violence。 His detached attitude was the most irritating of the many irritating aspects of the situation。 She paid this man a weekly wage to do odd jobs。 The capture of Eustace was essentially an odd job。 Yet； instead of doing it； he hung about with the air of one who has paid his half…dollar and bought his bag of peanuts and has now nothing to do but look on and enjoy himself。
'Why don't you catch him？' she cried。
The odd…job man came out of his trance。 A sudden realization came upon him that life was real and life was earnest； and that if he did not wish to jeopardize a good situation he must bestir himself。 Everybody was looking at him expectantly。 It seemed to be definitely up to him。 It was imperative that； whatever he did； he should do it quickly。 There was an apron hanging over the back of a chair。 More with the idea of doing something than because he thought he would achieve anything definite thereby； he picked up the apron and flung it at Eustace。 Luck was with him。 The apron enveloped Eustace just as he was winding up for another inshoot and was off his balance。 He tripped and fell； clutched at the apron to save himself； and came to the ground swathed in it； giving the effect of an apron mysteriously endowed with life。 The triumphant odd…job man； pressing his advantage like a good general； gathered up the ends； converted it into a rude bag； and one more was added to the long l
