ericlustbader.the ninja-第90章

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　'If　that's　what　you　choose　to　call　it。〃
　'I　do。　I　have　no　trust。　Truly。　Can't　you　just　accept　me　for　what　I　am？　You　can't　make　me　over。〃
　'It's　not　a　question　of　that。　I　want　what　I　feel　is　inside　you　to　have　a　chance　to　e　out　…'
　^Oh；　Nicholas'　…　she　put　her　fingers　against　his　cheek　…　'why　torture　yourself　by　thinking　about　some　future　that　will　not　e　about。　Who　knows？　I　may　be　dead　in　a　year　…'
　'Shut　up；'　he　said　quickly。　'I　don't　want　to　hear　you　talking　like　that；　understand？'
　'Yes；'　she　said；　surprisingly　meekly。　Her　head　dipped　as　if　in　penance　and　her　thick　hair　slid　across　one　side　of　her　face　like　a　midnight　waterfall。　She　was　the　model　Japanese　wife　bowing　before　the　inevitable　authority　of　her　husband's　words。
　'And　anyway；　who　says　you're　not　brave？'　He　wasn't　used　to　this。　He　wanted　desperately　to　lean　over　the　table　and　kiss　her　half…open　shadowed　lips；　but　lacked　the　nerve。　'Just　think　of　what　you've　been　through；　growing　up　with　that　couple。　That　took　a　lot　of　strength。'
　'You　think　so？'　A　little　girl　now。
　The　waitress　rustled　in　and　knelt　by　the　side　of　the　low　table；　delivering　more　food　and　drink。　Nicholas　watched　her　leave　as　she　slipped　on　her　geta　at　the　threshold。
　'I　just　said　so；'　he　whispered　fiercely。　'What's　the　matter　with　you？'
　'I　don't　know。'　Dark　eyes　on　the　tabletop。　'I　don't　know。'　He　filled　her　porcelain　sake　cup；　white　and　tiny。
　They　went　put　walking；　she　chattering　on　animatedly　as　if　nothing　untoward　had　happened；　clutching　his　arm；　aimlessly　drifting　from　topic　to　topic。
　Stealing　the　dark；　hiding　it　in　their　side　pockets　as　they　filtered　through　the　honky…tonk　nightlife；　through　swirling　colours　and　blaring　noise。　The　air　smelt　of　incense　and　petrol　fumes；　the　walls　of　the　evening　brilliant　with　the　unrelenting　marquees　here　in　the　city　of　merchants；　erected　almost　overnight；　this　new　class　universally　despised　by　the　noble　samurai　and　the　lowly　peasant　alike。
　An　enormous　arcade　of　pinball　wizards　they　passed　up　after　staring　for　long　moments　like　the　most　ignorant　of　country　bumpkins　and；　farther　along；　the　electronicized　insistency　of　American　rock　V　roll；　a　quicksilver　pulse　projecting　from　a　music　store's　loudspeaker。　The　wail　of　harmonized　black　voices　drenched　by　a　wave　of　strings　and　the　backbeat；　always　the　backbeat　like　a　burnished　path　guiding　you　through　the　melodies。　They　dance　before　the　lighted　window　on　which　is　taped　a　black　and　white　publicity　photo；　streaked　by　reflected　light：　John；　Paul；　George；　Ringo。　Close　your　eyes　and　I'll　kiss　you/　Tomorrow　I'll　miss　you/Remember　I'll　always　be　true　。。。　Around　and　around。　And　then　while　I'm　away/I'll　write　home　every　day　。。。　Red　and　green　and　yellow　neon　bars；　swinging　her　from　one　to　the　other；　a　rock　'n'　roll　fan　overnight。　And　I'll　send　all　my　loving　to　you。。。
　'Who　are　they？'　says　Yukio；　slightly　out　of　breath。
　'The　Beatles；'　says　the　shopkeeper。　'A　new　band　from　England。'
　And　Nicholas　buys　her　the　record；　imported　and　exorbitant。
　But　down　the　next　block　they　heard　the　stentorian　tones　and　the　intermittent　music　of　the　samisan。　Culture　shock。　And　turned　in　to　investigate。
　It　was　the　Bunraku；　the　traditional　puppet　theatre；　indigenous　to　Osaka；　as　the　Kabuki　was　to　old　Edo。　Yukio　was　delighted　and；　clapping　her　hands　together　as　if　she　were　a　child；　implored　him　to　take　her　inside。　He　dug　into　his　pocket；　bought　them　two　tickets。
　The　theatre　was　nearly　full　and　they　had　some　difficulty　finding　their；　seats。　The　play　had　just　begun　but　Nicholas　knew　from　the　billboards　outside　that　it　was　famed　Chushingura；　'The　Loyal　Forty…Seven　Ronin　。
　The　puppets　were　magnificent；　the　principal　ones　dazzlingly　dressed；　so　plex　that　they　required　three　men　to　manipulate　them　successfully。　The　master　puppeteer　for　the　head；　body　and　right　arm；　a　second　for　the　left　arm　and　the　third　for　the　legs　or；　in　the　case　of　the　females；　the　kimono　skirts。
　They　were　seated　near　the　back　and；　some　time　after　they　arrived；　a　couple　of　marines　drifted　in。　Why　they　had　e　to　the　Bunraku　on　leave　Nicholas　could　not　imagine。　One　was　white；　the　other　black。　They　might　have　been　waiting　for　their　girls　or；　perhaps；　a　third　buddy。　The　white　man　slid　into　a　row　but　the　black　marine　turned；　stood　waiting　in　the　centre　aisle。
　Nicholas　saw　Yukio's　eyes　drifting　from　the　colour　of　the　stage。　He　saw　where　she　was　looking。　Like　a　retriever　on　point；　her'　gaze　locked　on　the　large　bulge　of　his　crotch。　Colours　swam　in　reflected　light；　reminding　Nicholas　of　an　aquarium　his　parents　had　taken　him　to　in　Tokyo。　It　all　seemed　so　unreal。　Her　lips　slightly　open；　he　saw　the　sharp　rise　and　fall　of　her　breasts　as　she　breathed；　as　she　watched。
　In　the　dimness　he　felt　her　fingers　between　his　thighs；　caressing；　the　zipper　of　his　fly　being　drawn　down；　the　heat　enveloping　him。　Hard。　And　still　she　stared；　never　turning　her　head；　her　eyes　wide　and　glittery。　His　loins　turned　to　water。　He　wanted　to　shout　to　her：　Stop！　But　he　could　not。　Had　she　blinked　in　all　this　time？　He　wanted　to　take　her　fingers　away　from　him　but　he　did　not。　Just　sat　there　watching　the　Bunraku；　the　black　marine's　crotch　in　the　periphery　of　his　vision；　ballooning　ominously。　How　big　was　he？　How　big　could　a　man　be？　Was　that　a　criterion　for　sex　appeal；　the　way　Americans　felt　about　big　breasts？　Did　it　drive　women　wild？
　The　samisan　played　on。　The　ronin　fought　with　proper　valour。　Yeah；　yeah。　Yeah
　'You　know　what　it　is　I　hate　about　being　Japanese？'　she　said。　Streetlight；　blue…white　through　the　blinds；　threw　angular　bars　of　light…shadow…light　across　the　top　of　the　far　wall　and　part　of　the　ceiling。
　He　turned　in　the　bed。　'What？'
　'Not　having　light　eyes。'　She　sighed　and　he　knew　her　wide；　sensual　lips　were　drawn　in　a　pout。　The　French　girls　I　see　in　Kyoto　and　the　American　ones；　too；　with　their　short　hairdos　and　their　blue　eyes。　Funny；　I've　always　dreamed　of　having　green　eyes　like　emeralds。'
　'Why　think　about　it？'
　'It　makes　me　realize；　I　think；　just　how　much　I　dislike　myself。　Here'　…　she　reached　out；　took　his　hand　in　hers；　guided　it　to　the　heat　between　her　legs　…　'this　is　the　only　thing　that　matters。　Right　here。'
　'No；'　he　said；　taking　his　fingers　away；　'that's　not　important　at　all。'
　She　turned　on　her　side；　her　voice　was　light　now。　'Not　even　a　little　bit？'
　He　laughed。　'All　right；　yes。　Just　a　bit；　then。'　He　rose　up；　leaning　over　her　slightly。　Her　skin　was　pale　in　the　half…light；　her　thick　hair　a　black　forest。　'Look；　Yukio；　I　was　interested　in　you　before　we　danced　that　night。'
　'Before　I　…'
　'Rubbed　yourself　all　over　me。'
　She　put　her　hand　out；　lightly　stroking　his　chest。　A　muscle　fluttered　and　he　felt　the　familiar　tightening　of　his　stomach。　It　felt　as　if　a　hand　were　pressing　against　his　lungs；　pushing　powerfully　down　so　that　he　had　difficulty　in　breathing。　He　might　have　been　an　asthmatic　in　fog。
　'What　is　it？'　she　said　just　before　he　whirled　away　to　sit　on　the　edge　of　the　bed。　'What　are　you　afraid　of？'　she　sat　up　and　he　felt　her　looking　at　him。　An　odd　way　to　put　it。　'Is　it　me；　Nicholas？　Are　you　afraid　of　me？'
　'I　don't　know；'　he　said　miserably。
　And　that　was　the　trouble。
　They　left　Osaka　on　an　old　pre…war　train　which；　despite　its　perfect　cleanliness；　was　in　marked　contrast　with　the　superliner　that　had　brought　them　to　the　city。
　There　were　rattles；　squeaks　and　a　fair　amount　of　jounces。　The　swaying；　too；　was　more　pronounced　but；　oddly；　the　added　vibration　produced　in　him　a　calming　effect。　His　mind　kept　returning　to　the　Bunraku　performance；　to；　more　accurately；　Yukio's　performance。　Was　she　a　nymphomaniac；　he　wondered？　But　how　could　he　tell？　He　did　not　even　know　the　clinical　definition。　Was　someone　who　was　sexually　insatiable　a　nympho？　Could　it　be　that　easy　to　define？　He　couldn't　even　say　that　Yukio　was　insatiable。　Her　sexual　thirst　could　be　slaked。　It　just　took　an　enormous　amount　of　energy。　And；　anyway；　what　if　she　was？　Would　that　make　any　difference　to　him？
　He　turned　away　from　her　presence；　staring　out　of　the　window。　Rattle；　rattle。　Someone　came　down　the　aisle；　half　fell　against　her　as　the　train　lurched　around　a　turning。　The　land　fell　away　in　a　sharp　gradient　here；　giving　onto　flat　fields　and　rice　paddies。　He　thought　he　saw　cattle　standing　motion