ericlustbader.the ninja-第68章
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'What are you thinking？'
His eyes focused to see her。 There was concern on her face。 'You shouldn't make sacrifices；' he said。 'Not for me； not for anybody。 It can be dangerous。'
'Damn it I I'm not making sacrifices。 Not any more。 I'm through with all that。 I won't give anything up for you。 Not until I'm quite certain it's what 7 want。' Her eyes glittered； fine pinpoints of energy in the darkness。 'Is it so awful that you satisfy me？ That I'm content with that？ Does part of you rebel against that notion？'
She had cut him to the quick without realizing it。 'Christ； what made you say that？' He sat up； feeling his heart hammering。
'Because it's true？' She tried to look in his eyes。 'I don't know。 But I do know how your body reacts to mine。 That's munication on the most basic level； the way it was done a million years ago before there were books to talk about or films or plays； any entertainment。 When people just had each other。 I want to know why you reject that out of hand。 Don't you trust your body to tell you what's right？ It knows better than your mind what's good for you。' She laughed。 'I can't believe it。 You of all people。 You've been working with your body all your life and still you don't trust it。〃
'You don't know anything about it；' he said shortly。
'Oh； I don't？' She sat up。 'Then you tell me。 Explain it to me simply so my poor female brain can understand。'
'Don't be childish。'
'It isn't me who's being childish； Nick。 Just listen to yourself。 You're terrified of revealing anything of yourself to someone。'
'Didn't you ever think there's a good reason for that？'
'Oh yes。 That's why I'm asking you what it is。'
'Maybe it's none of your business。'
'Right。 All right；' she flared。 'I can see how far I'm going to get with you。'
'Nowhere； Justine。 You don't own me。'
'This is what I get for being honest with you。'
'You want honesty？' Knew he shouldn't do it and didn't care。 'I met your father in the city today。'
Her head came up。 She looked incredulous。 'You met my father？ How？'
'He picked me up in his limo outside the station。 I got the first…class treatment。〃
She stood up。 'I don't want to hear about this。' Her voice was abruptly harsh。 She remembered San Francisco all too clearly。 Rage built up inside her。 She felt impotent against him。 Always had。 Always。
'I think you should；' he said cruelly。 Some part of him egged him on； reveling in the pained expression on her face。
'No！' she cried； putting her palms against her ears。 She wheeled away from him。 。
He got up and went after her； across the cool sand。 'He wanted to know all about us。 He knows all about you。 What you've been doing。 What you haven't。'
'God damn him！' She slipped at the crest of a dune； pulled herself up； whirled on him。 Her eyes were feral sparks； as large as beacons。 She was white with rage。
'Christ but you're both bastards！ Him for doing it and you for telling me。 You're a real sonovabitch； you know that？'
All he could think of was pushing her away now。 'He thought I might be another one like Chris …'
'Shut up！ Shut up； you cocksucker！'
But he pursued her relentlessly。 'He offered me a job； and you know； the joke of it is I took it。 I'm working for him now。'
'How could you do this to me？' she cried。 She wasn't talking about the job。 'My God！ My God！' Weeping； she hurled herself from him and； stumbling up the sandy steps to her house； she disappeared from his view。
Nicholas broke down and cried； falling to his knees in the unforgiving sand。
'He will soon be here；' said Ah Ma。 'Is everything in readiness？'
'Yes； Mother；' Penny said from her spot at Ah Ma's feet。 'Flower has just returned with the last of the 。。。 ah； items。' Penny's perfect； white face bent over a leather…bound ledger book in which she was writing Chinese characters in vertical lines。 She used a thin brush which she dipped periodically in
an open bottle of Higgins ink。 Her movements were deft and sure。
She considered her mistress's silence； then made a decision。 'Do you think we should be letting this man in here？' She kept her eyes on her writing and； for just an instant； felt her heart contract coldly in her chest at the thought of Ah Ma's possible outburst。
Ah Ma did nothing more； however； than sigh。 Penny was quite correct； of course。 In days gone by she would never have allowed this to happen。 She shrugged mentally。 Ah well； times had changed for them all and one must acmodate oneself as best one could。 Her voice； when she spoke； conveyed none of this inner dialogue。
'Penny； my precious one； there is； as you well know； a great deal of money involved。 I am not a prejudiced person； neither should you be。' But she knew these words to be false； although Penny never would。 Ah Ma； now in her late sixties； was Fukienese； from that district of coastal China midway between the cities of Hong Kong and Shanghai。 She was one of fifteen children but she had always felt quite apart from them。 Perhaps her name had something to do with that。 There was a legend of a poor Fukienese girl by that name who sought passage on a junk。 In all the port only one would grant her request。 Out of port they were beset by a furious typhoon and it had been Ah Ma who had brought the junk safely through。 There was a temple to her； Ah Ma knew； at the base of Barra Hill on the island of Macao。
She shifted in her chair and it creaked。 She felt the slide of silk against her arm。 Through the open window she could clearly hear the clatter from Doyers Street。 There was a fish market on the corner which stayed open late。 They sold marvellous squid at this time of year。 She heard several voices raised in argument and she winced at the Cantonese。 Up here in the large suite of apartments which took up the entire third floor of the building only Mandarin was spoken。 That was the way it had been in Ah Ma's house when she was a child； that was how it was now。
Ah Ma got up； padded silently over to the window； peering down at the narrow； crowded street。 She could； she knew； have had her pick of virtually any location in Manhattan。 Over the years there had been many attractive offers to move elsewhere。 She had always refused。 It seemed right to her that her business should be square in the heart of Chinatown。 The area was dim and slightly seedy but it was atmospheric。 In many ways it reminded Ah Ma of home。 That was what she wanted。 Now a millionairess； she was still no more fortable among the steel and glass towers of uptown Manhattan than she had been with structures like the Chrysler Building when she had first arrived in New York。
Yes； Ah Ma thought now； looking down at the night…dark street； the bright； bustling clutter of the throng； the intermittent odours of fresh fish in the early morning when the catch was brought in downstairs； the delicacy of the steamed dim sum from the dumpling house next door； I am very fortable here。 Very much so。
She sighed again。 Of course； the Chinatown Planning Council might not be too pleased with her if they knew her real business。 But the police were certainly happy with the thousand dollars they picked up each month。 She was careful to perform this duty herself and to serve them tea each time they came； it increased her face。
Her home in Foochow was always with her but； oddly； more so as she grew older。 Being in Chinatown gave her some small illusion of being home。 Not that she would ever consider going back now。 She had no great love for the munist Chinese and even now； when it might be feasible for her to return for a visit； she could not bring herself to contemplate the reality of it。
No； she had all that she wanted of Foochow right here。
Around the corner the red and blue neon lights of the restaurants turned the darkness watery with reflected light。 It was the Japanese； of course； whom she had learned to hate long before the munists。 They had e down the coast； those wealthy； arrogant businessmen； from their deals in Shanghai； already jaded with that city's night…life or just wanting to see a bit more of China。 They are so different from the Chinese； Ah Ma thought wonderingly。 But of course they do not have our centuries of history to learn from。 The Japanese are a relatively new
