alistairmaclean.icestationzebra-第28章

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　 〃Maybe　my　eyes　are　acting　up；　too；〃　I　admitted。　〃But；　damn　it；　I'm　still　not　sure　that　I'm　not　right。〃
　 〃e　on；　Doc；　let's　go。〃
　 〃Go　where？〃
　 〃I　don't　know。〃　His　teeth　chattered　so　uncontrollably　in　that　intense　cold　that　I　could　scarcely　follow　his　words。　〃I　guess　it　doesn't　matter　very　much　where〃
　 With　breath…taking　abruptness；　almost　in　the　center　of　my　imagined　patch　of　luminescence　and　not　more　than　400　yards　away；　a　swiftly　climbing　rocket　burst　through　the　rushing　river　of　ice　spicules　and　climbed　high　into　the　clear　sky　trailing　behind　it　a　fiery　tail　of　glowing　red　sparks。　Five　hundred　feet　it　climbed；　perhaps　600；　then　burst　into　a　brilliantly　incandescent　shower　of　crimson　stars；　stars　that　fell　lazily　back　to　earth　again；　streaming　away　to　the　west　on　the　wings　of　the　gale　and　dying　as　they　went；　till　the　sky　was　colder　and　emptier　than　ever　before。
　 〃You　still　say　it　doesn't　matter　very　much　where　we　go？〃　I　asked　Hansen。　〃Or　maybe　you　didn't　see　that　little　lot？〃
　 〃What　I　just　saw；〃　he　said　reverently；　〃was　the　prettiest　ole　sight　that　Ma　Hansen's　little　boy　ever　did　seeor　ever　will　see。〃　He　thumped　me　on　the　back；　so　hard　that　I　had　to　grab　him　to　keep　my　balance。　〃We　got　it　made；　Doc！〃　he　shouted。　〃We　got　it　made。　Suddenly　I　have　the　strength　of　ten。　Home　sweet　home；　here　we　e。〃
　 Ten　minutes　later　we　were　home；
　
　
　 〃God；　this　is　wonderful；〃　Hansen　sighed。　He　stared　in　happy　bemusement　from　the　captain　to　me　to　the　glass　in　his　hand　to　the　water　dripping　from　the　melting　ice　on　his　furs　onto　the　corticene　decking　of　the　captain's　tiny　cabin。　〃The　warmth；　the　light；　the　fort　and　home　sweet　home。　I　never　thought　I'd　see　any　of　it　again。　When　that　rocket　went　up；　skipper；　I　was　just　looking　around　to　pick　a　place　to　lay　me　down　and　die。　And　don't　think　I'm　joking；　because　I'm　not。〃
　 〃And　Dr。　Carpenter？〃　Swanson　smiled。
　 〃Defective　mental　equipment　somewhere；〃　Hansen　said。　〃He　doesn't　seem　to　know　how　to　go　about　giving　up。　I　think　he's　just　mule…headed。　You　get　them　like　that。〃
　 Hansen's　slightly　off…beat；　slightly　irrational　talk　had　nothing　to　do　with　the　overwhelming　relief　and　relaxation　that　e　after　moments　of　great　stress　and　tension。　Hansen　was　too　tough　for　that。　I　knew　that　and　I　knew　that　Swanson　knew　it；　too。　We'd　been　back　for　almost　twenty　minutes　now；　we'd　told　our　story；　the　pressure　was　off；　a　happy　ending　for　all　seemed　in　sight；　and　normalcy　was　again　almost　the　order　of　the　day。　But　when　the　strain　is　oft　and　conditions　are　back　to　normal；　a　man　has　time　to　start　thinking　about　things　again。　I　knew　only　too　well　what　was　in　Hansen's　mind's　eye：　that　charred　and　huddled　shapelessness　that　had　once　been　my　brother。　He　didn't　want　me　to　talk　about　him；　and　for　that　I　didn't　blame　him；　he　didn't　want　me　even　to　think　about　him；　although　he　must　have　known　that　that　was　impossible。　The　kindest　men　nearly　always　are　like　that；　hard　and　tough　and　cynical　on　the　outside；　men　who　have　been　too　kind　and　showed　it。
　 〃However　it　was；〃　Swanson　smiled；　〃you　can　consider　yourselves　two　of　the　luckiest　men　alive。　That　rocket　you　saw　was　the　third　last　we　had；　it's　been　a　regular　fourth　of　July　for　the　past　hour　or　so。　And　you　think　Rawlings；　Zabrinski；　and　the　survivors　on　Zebra　are　safe　for　the　present？〃
　 〃Nothing　to　worry　about　for　the　next　couple　of　days；〃　Hansen　nodded。　〃They'll　be　okay。　Cold；　mind　you；　and　a　good　half　of　them　desperately　in　need　of　hospital　treatment；　but　they'll　survive。〃
　 〃Fine。　Well；　this　is　how　it　is。　This　lead　here　stopped　closing　in　about　half　an　hour　ago。　but　it　doesn't　matter　now：　we　can　drop　down　any　time　and　still　hold　our　position。　What　does　matter　is　that　we　have　located　the　fault　in　the　ice　machine。　It's　a　damned　tricky　and　plicated　job；　and　I　expect　it　will　take　several　hours　yet　to　fix。　But　I　think　we'll　wait　until　it　is　fixed　before　we　try　anything。　I'm　not　too　keen　on　this　idea　of　making　a　dead…reckoning　approach　to　this　lead　near　Zebra；　then　letting　off　a　shot　in　the　dark。　Since　there's　no　desperate　hurry；　I'd　rather　wait　till　we　got　the　ice　fathometer　operating　again；　make　an　accurate　survey　of　this　lead　then　fire　a　torpedo　up　through　the　middle。　If　the　ice　is　only　four　or　five　feet　thick　there；　we　shouldn't　have　much　trouble　blowing　a　hole　through。〃
　 〃That　would　be　best；〃　Hansen　agreed。　He　finished　off　his　medicinal　alcoholan　excellent　bourbonrose　stiffly　to　his　feet；　and　stretched。　〃Well；　back　to　the　old　treadmill　again。　How　many　torpedoes　in　working　order？〃
　 〃Four；　at　the　last　count。〃
　 〃I　may　as　well　go　help　young　Mills　load　them　up　now。　If　that's　okay　by　you；　skipper。〃
　 〃It　is　not　okay　by　me；〃　Swanson　said　mildly；　〃and　if　you'll　take　a　quick　gander　at　that　mirror　there；　you'll　understand　why。　You're　not　fit　to　load　a　slug　into　an　air　rifle；　much　less　a　torpedo　into　its　tube。　You　haven't　just　been　on　a　Sundayafternoon　stroll；　you　know。　A　few　hours'　sleep；　John；　then　we'll　see。〃
　 Hansen　didn't　argue。　I　couldn't　imagine　anyone　arguing　with　mander　Swanson。　He　made　for　the　door。　〃ing；　Doc？〃
　 〃In　a　moment。　Sleep　well。〃
　 〃Yeah。　Thanks。〃　He　touched　me　lightly　on　the　shoulder　and　smiled　through　bloodshot　and　exhausted　eyes。　〃Thanks　for　everything。　Good　night；　all。〃
　 When　he　was　gone　Swanson　said；　〃It　was　pretty　wicked　out　there　tonight？〃
　 〃I　wouldn't　remend　it　for　an　old　ladies'　home　Sundayafternoon　outing。〃
　 〃Lieutenant　Hansen　seems　to　imagine　he's　under　some　kind　of　debt　to　you；〃　he　went　on　inconsequentially。
　 〃Imagination；　as　you　say。　They　don't　e　any　better　than　Hansen。　You're　damned　lucky　to　have　him　as　an　exec。〃
　 〃I　know　that。〃　He　hesitated；　then　said　quietly：　〃I　promise　you　I　won't　mention　this　again；　but；　well；　I'm　damned　sorry；　Doctor。〃
　 I　looked　at　him　and　nodded　slowly。　I　knew　he　meant　it；　I　knew　he　had　to　say　it；　but　there's　not　much　you　can　say　in　turn　to　anything　like　that。　I　said：　〃Six　others　died　with　him；　mander。〃
　 He　hesitated　again。　〃Do　wedo　we　take　the　dead　back　to　Britain　with　us？〃
　 〃Could　I　have　another　drop　of　that　excellent　bourbon；　mander？　Been　a　very　heavy　run　on　your　medicinal　alcohol　in　the　past　few　hours；　I'm　afraid。〃　I　waited　till　he　had　filled　my　glass；　then　went　on：　〃We　don't　take　them　back　with　us。　They're　not　dead　men；　they're　just　unrecognizable　and　unidentifiable　lumps　of　charred　matter。　Let　them　stay　here。〃
　 His　relief　was　unmistakable　and　he　was　aware　of　it；　for　he　went　on　hurriedly；　for　something　to　say：　〃All　this　equipment　for　locating　and　tracking　the　Russian　missiles。　Destroyed？〃
　 〃I　didn't　check。〃　He'd　find　out　for　himself　soon　enough　that　there　had　been　no　such　equipment。　How　he'd　react　to　that　discovery　in　light　of　the　cock…and…bull　story　I'd　spun　to　him　and　Admiral　Garvie　in　the　Holy　Loch　I　couldn't　even　begin　to　guess。　At　the　moment　I　didn't　even　care。　It　didn't　seem　important；　nothing　seemed　important；　not　any　more。　All　at　once　I　felt　tired；　not　sleepy；　just　deathly　tired；　so　I　pushed　myself　stiffly　to　my　feet；　said　good　night；　and　left。
　
　
　 Hansen　was　in　his　bunk　when　I　got　back　to　his　cabin；　his　furs　lying　where　he　had　dropped　them。　I　checked　that　he　was　no　longer　awake；　slipped　off　my　own　furs；　hung　them　up；　and　replaced　the　Mannlicher…Schoenauer　in　my　case。　I　lay　down　in　my　cot　to　sleep；　but　sleep　wouldn't　e。　Exhausted　though　I　was；　I　had　never　felt　less　like　sleep　in　my　life。
　 I　was　too　restless　and　unsettled　for　sleep；　too　many　problems　ing　all　at　once　were　causing　a　first…class　log　jam　in　my　mind。　I　got　up；　pulled　on　a　shirt　and　denim　pants；　and　made　my　way　to　the　control　room。　I　spent　the　better　part　of　what　remained　of　the　night　there；　pacing　up　and　down；　watching　two　technicians　repairing　the　vastly　plicated　innards　of　the　ice　machine；　reading　the　messages　of　congratulation　which　were　still　ing　in；　talking　desultorily　to　the　officer　on　deck；　and　drinking　endless　cups　of　coffee。　It　passed　the　night　for　me；　and　although　I　hadn't　closed　an　eye。　I　felt　fresh　and　almost　relaxed　by　the　time　morning　came。
　 At　the　wardroom　breakfast　table　that　morning　everyone　seemed　quietly　cheerful。　They　knew　they　had　done　a　good　job；　the　whole　world　was　telling　them　they　had　done　a　magnificent　job；　and　you　could　see　that　they　all　regarde