cb.coldheart canyon-第86章
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〃Just the juicy bits。〃
〃Well after a time you get a feeling about what's true and what's not true。〃
〃Care to give me an example？〃
〃No。〃
〃Go on。〃
〃That's not fair。 I'm screwed whatever I say。 No！ Wait！ Here's one！ About two years ago they said you were going into a private hospital in Montreal to have your ding…a…ling enlarged。〃
〃My ding…a…ling！〃
〃You know what I mean。〃
〃Do you say ding…a…ling to Arnie？ It is Arnie； isn't it？〃
〃Yes it's Arnie and no I don't say ding…a…ling。〃
〃Tell me about him。〃
〃There isn't much to tell。〃
〃Why'd you marry him？ Tell me that。〃
〃Well it wasn't because of the size of his dick。〃
〃Dick！ That's what you call it： dick。〃
〃I guess I do；〃 Tammy said； amused； a little embarrassed to have let this slip。 〃Anyway； back to the story in The Enquirer。 They said you were in Montreal getting your thingie…your dick…made bigger。 Except I knew that wasn't true。〃
〃How e？〃
〃It just didn't make any sense。 Not after the articles I'd read about you。〃
〃Go on；〃 Todd said； fascinated。
〃Well。。。you know I read everything that's ever been written about you？ Everything in English。 And then if there's a really important interview in； say； Paris Match or Stern； I get it translated。〃
〃Jesus。 Really？ What for？〃
〃So I can keep up with your opinions。 And。。。sometimes in the foreign magazines they write the kind of things you wouldn't read in an American magazine。 One of them did a piece about your love…life。 About all the ladies you'd dated； and the things they'd said about you…〃
〃My acting？〃
〃No。 Your。。。other performances。〃
〃You're kidding。〃
〃No。 I thought you knew about these things。 I thought you probably signed off on them。〃
〃If I read every article in every magazine…〃
〃You'd never make another movie。〃
〃Exactly。 So； go back to the article。 The ladies； talking about me。 What does that have to do with the story in The Enquirer！〃
〃Oh just that here were all these women talking about you in bed…and a few of them were not exactly happy with the way you treated them…but none of them said； even vaguely intimated that。。。〃
〃I had a small dick。〃
〃Right。〃
〃So I thought； there's no way he's gone to Montreal to have his ding…a…ling enlarged because it's just fine as it is。 Now。 Can we move on； or shall I throw myself out of the window from sheer embarrassment？〃
Todd laughed。 〃You are an education； do you know that？〃
〃I am？〃
〃You are。〃
〃In a good way？〃
〃Oh yeah； it's all good。 It's all fine。〃
〃You realize； of course； that there's stuff being written about you right now； a lot of people upset and worried。〃
〃Why？〃
〃Because nobody knows what happened to you。 There are plenty of people； fans of yours； like me； who think of you practically as a member of the family。 Todd did this。 Todd did that。 And now； suddenly； Todd's missing。 And nobody knows where he's gone。 They start to fret。 They start to make up all kinds of ridiculous reasons。 I know I did。 It's not that they're crazy…〃
〃No； look。 I don't think you； or any of them； are crazy。 Or if you are； it's a good crazy。 I mean； what you did last night。。。none of my family would have done。〃
〃You'd be surprised how many people love you。〃
〃They love something but I don't think it's me； Tammy。〃
〃Why not？〃
〃Well for one thing； if you could get inside here； in my head with Todd Pickett； you wouldn't find much worth idolizing。 You really wouldn't。 I am painfully； excruciatingly； ordinary。 My brother； Donnie； on the other hand： he's worth admiring。 He's smart。 He's honest。 I was just the one with this。〃 He turned on his smile as he drove and gave her the benefit of its luminosity。 Then； just as easily； he turned it off。 〃See； you learn to do that；〃 he went on。 〃It's like a faucet。 You turn the smile on； and people bathe in it for a while； then you turn it off and you go home and wonder what all the fuckin' fuss was about。 It's not like I deserve the adulation of millions。 I can't act。 And I've got the reviews to prove it。〃 He chuckled at his self…deprecation。 〃That's not mine；〃 he said； 〃it was Victor Mature。〃
〃Okay； so you're not the best actor in Hollywood。 You're not the worst either。〃
〃No。 I grant you； there's worse。〃
〃A lot worse。〃
〃All right； a lot worse。 Still doesn't make me a good actor。〃
He obviously wasn't going to be moved on the subject； so Tammy left it where it was。 They drove on in silence for a while。 Then he swung the mirror round； and checked out his face。 〃You know I'm nervous？〃
〃Why？〃
〃In case there's anybody at Maxine's place。〃 He went back and forth between studying his face and checking the road。
〃You look fine；〃 Tammy told him。
〃I guess it's not so bad；〃 he said； assessing his features。
〃You just look a little different from the way you used to look。〃
〃Different enough that people will notice？〃
Tammy couldn't lie to him。 〃Sure they'll notice。 But maybe they'll say you look better。 I mean； when everything's properly healed and you've had a month's vacation。〃
〃You will e in with me； won't you？〃
〃To see Maxine？ My pleasure。〃
〃Mind if I smoke？〃 He didn't wait for a reply。 He just rolled down the window； pulled out a battered pack of cigarettes； and lit up。 The rush of nicotine made him whoop。 〃That's better！ Okay。 We're going to do this。 You and me。 We're going to ask Maxine a lot of very difficult questions； and figure out whether she's lying to us or not。〃
They had reached the Pacific Coast Highway； and the roar of the traffic through the open window made any further talk impractical for a time。 They drove north for perhaps five miles； before ing off the PCH and heading west。 The area wouldn't have been Tammy's idea of idyllic。 Somehow she'd imagined Malibu being more like a little slice of Hawaii； but in fact it was just a sliver of real estate two or three houses deep； with the incessant din of the Pacific Coast Highway on one side and a narrow strip of beach on the other。 They'd scarcely driven more than a quarter of a mile when they came to the Colony gates。 There was a guard…house； and a single guard； who was sitting with his booted feet up beside a small television。 The set went off as soon as they drove up； a broad smile appearing on the man's face。
〃Hey； Mr。 Pickett。 Long time； no see。〃
〃Ron； m'man。 How goes it？〃
〃It goes good； it goes good。〃
The guard was clearly delighted that his name had been remembered。
〃Are you going to Ms。 Frizelle's party？〃
〃Oh。。。yeah；〃 Todd said； throwing a panicked glance at Tammy。 〃We're here for that。〃
〃That's great。〃 He peered past Todd； at the passenger。 〃And this is？〃
〃Oh； this is Tammy。 Tammy； Ron。 Ron； Tammy。 Tammy's my date for the night。〃
〃Good goin'；〃 Ron said； to no one and about nothing in particular。 Just a general California yea…saying to the world。 〃Let me just call Ms。 Frizelle； and tell her you're on your way down。〃
〃Nah；〃 Todd said； sliding a twenty dollar bill into Ron's hand。 〃We're going to surprise her。〃
〃No problem；〃 Ron said； waving them by。 〃Good to see you； by the way…〃
It took Tammy a moment to realize that Ron was talking to her。
〃It's always good to meet a new friend of Mr。 Pickett's。〃 There didn't seem to be any irony in this： it was a genuine expression of feeling。
〃Well； thank you；〃 Tammy said； thrown a little off…kilter by this。
〃Fuck。 She's having a party；〃 Todd said to her as they left the guardhouse behind them。
〃So。〃
〃So there'll be lots of people。 Looking at me。〃
〃They've got to do it sooner or later。〃
Todd stopped the car in the middle of the street。
〃I can't。 I'm not ready for this。〃
〃Yes you are。 The more you put it off the more difficult it's going to be。〃
Todd sat there shaking his head saying： 〃No。 No。 I can't do it。〃
Tammy put her hand over his。 〃I'm just as nervous as you are；〃 she said。 〃Feel how clammy my hand is？〃
〃Yeah。〃
〃But we said we'd get answers。 And the longer we take to ask her the more lies she'll have ready。〃
〃You do know her； don't you？〃 he said。
〃She's my nightmare。〃
〃Really。 Why？〃
〃Because she stood between me and you。〃
〃Huh。〃
Silence
