cpatricia.unnaturalexposure-第55章

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　I　was　clamping　on　my　five…point　harness　and　noting　the　oxygen　mask　hanging　by　each　chair。
　'I'm　going　to　be　down　here　and　will　check　on　you　from　time　to　time；'　the　lieutenant　went　on。　'It's　about　three　hours　to　Utah；　and　the　landing　shouldn't　be　too　abrupt。　They　got　a　runway　long　enough　for　the　space　shuttle；　or　that's　what　they　say。　You　know　how　the　Army　brags。'
　She　went　back　downstairs　as　pilots　talked　in　jargon　and　codes　that　meant　nothing　to　me。　We　began　to　take　off　a　mere　thirty　amazing　minutes　after　the　plane　had　landed。
　'We're　going　on　the　runway　now；'　a　pilot　said。　'Load？'　I　assumed　he　meant　the　loadmaster　below。　'Is　everything　secure？'
　'Yes；　sir；'　the　voice　sounded　in　my　headset。
　'Have　we　got　that　checklist　pleted？'
　'Yes。'
　'Okay。　We're　rolling。'
　The　plane　surged　forward；　bumping　over　the　field　with　gathering　power　that　was　unlike　any　takeoff　I　had　ever　known。　It　roared　more　than　a　hundred　miles　an　hour；　pulling　up　into　the　air　at　an　angle　so　sharp　it　flattened　me　against　the　back　of　my　chair。　Suddenly；　stars　spangled　the　sky；　the　lights　of　Maryland　a　winking　network。
　'We're　going　about　two　hundred　knots；'　a　pilot　said。　'mand　Post　aircraft　3060I。　Flaps　up。　Execute。'
　I　glanced　over　at　Lucy；　who　was　behind　the　co…pilot　and　trying　to　see　what　he　was　doing　as　she　listened　to　every　word；　probably　mitting　it　to　memory。　Laurel　returned　with　cups　of　coffee；　but　nothing　would　have　kept　me　up。　I　drifted　to　sleep　at　thirty…five　thousand　feet　as　the　jet　flew　west　at　six　hundred　miles　an　hour。　I　came　to　as　a　tower　was　talking。
　We　were　over　Salt　Lake　City　and　descending；　and　Lucy　would　never　e　to　earth　again　as　she　listened　to　cockpit　talk。　She　caught　me　looking　but　was　not　to　be　distracted；　and　I　had　never　really　known　anyone　like　her；　not　in　my　entire　life。　She　had　a　voracious　curiosity　about　anything　that　could　be　put　together；　taken　apart；　programmed　and；　in　general；　made　to　do　something　she　wanted。　People　were　about　the　only　thing　she　couldn't　figure　out。
　Clover　Control　turned　us　over　to　Dugway　Range　Control；　and　then　we　were　receiving　instructions　about　landing。　Despite　what　we　had　been　told　about　the　length　of　the　runway；　it　felt　like　we　were　going　to　be　torn　out　of　our　seats　as　the　jet　crescendoed　over　a　tarmac　blinking　with　miles　of　lights；　air　roaring　against　raised　slats。　The　stop　was　so　abrupt；　I　didn't　see　how　it　was　physically　possible；　and　I　wondered　if　the　pilots　might　have　been　practicing。
　'Tally　ho；'　one　of　them　said　cheerfully。
　
　
　15
　
　DUGWAY　WAS　THE　size　of　Rhode　Island　with　two　thousand　people　living　on　the　base。　But　we　could　see　nothing　when　we　got　in　at　half　past　five　A。M。　Laurel　turned　us　over　to　a　soldier；　who　put　us　in　a　truck　and　drove　to　a　place　where　we　could　rest　and　freshen　up。　There　wasn't　time　for　sleep。　The　plane　would　be　taking　off　later　in　the　day；　and　we　needed　to　be　on　it。
　Lucy　and　I　were　checked　into　the　Antelope　Inn；　across　from　the　munity　Club。　We　had　a　room　with　twin　beds　on　the　first　floor；　furnished　with　light　oak　and　wall…to…wall　carpet；　everything　blue。　It　offered　a　view　of　barracks　across　the　green；　where　lights　were　already　beginning　to　e　on　with　the　dawn。
　'You　know；　there　really　doesn't　seem　any　point　in　taking　a　shower　since　we'll　have　to　put　on　the　same　dirty　things；'　Lucy　said；　stretching　out　on　top　of　her　bed。
　'You're　absolutely　right；'　I　agreed；　taking　off　my　shoes。　'You　mind　if　I　turn　this　lamp　off？'
　'I　wish　you　would。'
　The　room　was　dark　and　I　suddenly　felt　silly。　'This　is　like　a　slumber　party。'
　'Yeah；　the　one　from　hell。'
　'Remember　when　you　used　to　e　stay　with　me　when　you　were　little？'　I　said。　'Sometimes　we　stayed　up　half　the　night。　You　never　wanted　to　go　to　sleep；　always　wanting　me　to　read　one　more　story。　You　wore　me　out。'
　'I　remember　it　the　other　way　around。　I　wanted　to　sleep　and　you　wouldn't　leave　me　alone。'
　'Untrue。'
　'Because　you　doted　on　me。'
　'Did　not。　I　could　scarcely　tolerate　being　in　the　same　room；'　I　said。　'But　I　felt　sorry　for　you　and　wanted　to　be　kind。'
　A　pillow　sailed　through　the　dark　and　hit　me　on　the　head。　I　threw　it　back。　Then　Lucy　pounced　from　her　bed　to　mine；　and　when　she　got　there　didn't　quite　know　what　to　do；　because　she　was　no　longer　ten　and　I　wasn't　Janet。　She　got　up　and　went　back　to　her　bed；　loudly　fluffing　pillows　behind　her。
　'You　sound　like　you're　a　lot　better；'　she　said。
　'Better；　but　not　a　lot。　I'll　live。'
　'Aunt　Kay；　what　are　you　going　to　do　about　Benton？　You　don't　even　seem　to　think　about　him　anymore。'
　'Oh　yes　I　do；'　I　answered。　'But　things　have　been　a　little　out　of　control　of　late；　to　say　the　least。'
　'That's　always　the　excuse　people　give。　I　should　know。　I　heard　it　all　my　life　from　my　mother。'
　'But　not　from　me；'　I　said。
　'That's　my　point。　What　do　you　want　to　do　about　him？　You　could　get　married。'
　The　mere　thought　unnerved　me　again。　'I　don't　think　I　can　do　that；　Lucy。'
　'Why　not？'
　'Maybe　I'm　too　set　in　my　ways；　on　a　track　I　can't　get　off。　Too　much　is　demanded　of　me。'
　'You　need　to　have　a　life；　too。'
　'I　feel　like　I　do；'　I　said。　'But　it　may　not　be　what　everybody　else　thinks　it　should　be。'
　'You've　always　given　me　advice；'　she　said。　'Maybe　now　it's　my　turn。　And　I　don't　think　you　should　get　married。'
　'Why？'　I　was　more　curious　than　surprised。
　'I　don't　think　you　ever　really　buried　Mark。　And　until　you　do；　you　shouldn't　get　married。　All　of　you　won't　be　there；　you　know？'
　I　felt　sad　and　was　glad　she　could　not　see　me　in　the　dark。　For　the　first　time　in　our　lives；　I　talked　to　her　as　a　trusted　friend。
　'I　haven't　gotten　over　him　and　probably　never　will；'　I　said。　'I　guess　he　was　my　first　love。'
　'I　know　all　about　that；'　my　niece　went　on。　'I　worry　that　if　something　happens；　there　will　never　be　anybody　else　for　me；　either。　And　I　don't　want　to　go　the　rest　of　my　life　not　having　what　I've　got　now。　Not　having　someone　you　can　talk　to　about　anything；　someone　who　cares　and　is　kind。'　She　hestitated；　and　what　she　said　next　was　honed　to　an　edge。　'Someone　who　doesn't　get　jealous　and　use　you。'
　'Lucy；'　I　said；　'Ring　won't　wear　a　badge　again　in　this　lifetime；　but　only　you　can　strip　Carrie　of　her　power　over　you。'
　'She　has　no　power　over　me。'　Lucy's　temper　flared。
　'Of　course　she　does。　And　I　can　understand　it。　I'm　furious　with　her；　too。'
　Lucy　got　quiet　for　a　moment；　and　then　she　spoke　in　a　smaller　voice。　'Aunt　Kay；　what　will　happen　to　me？'
　'I　don't　know；　Lucy；'　I　said。　'I　don't　have　the　answers。　But　I　promise　I　will　be　with　you　every　step　of　the　way。'
　The　twisted　path　that　had　led　her　to　Carrie　eventually　bent　us　back　around　to　Lucy's　mother；　who；　of　course；　was　my　sister。　I　wandered　the　ridges　and　rills　of　my　growing…up　years；　and　was　honest　with　Lucy　about　my　marriage　to　her　ex…uncle　Tony。　I　spoke　of　how　it　felt　to　be　my　age　and　know　I　probably　would　not　have　children。　By　now；　the　sky　was　lighting　up；　and　it　was　time　to　start　the　day。　The　base　mander's　driver　was　waiting　in　the　lobby　at　nine；　a　young　private　who　barely　needed　to　shave。
　'We　got　one　other　person　who　came　in　right　after　you　did；'　the　private　said；　putting　on　Ray…Bans。　'From　Washington；　the　FBL'
　He　seemed　to　be　very　impressed　with　this　and　clearly　had　no　idea　what　Lucy　was；　nor　did　the　expression　change　on　her　face　when　I　asked；　'What　does　he　do　with　the　FBI？'
　'Some　scientist　or　something。　Pretty　hot　stuff；'　he　said；　eyeing　Lucy；　who　was　striking…looking　even　when　she'd　been　up　all　night。
　The　scientist　was　Nick　Gallwey；　head　of　the　Bureau's　Disaster　Squad；　and　a　forensic　expert　of　considerable　reputation。　I　had　known　him　for　years；　and　when　he　walked　into　the　lobby；　we　gave　each　other　a　hug；　and　Lucy　shook　his　hand。
　'A　pleasure；　Special　Agent　Farinelli。　And　believe　me；　I've　heard　a　lot　about　you；'　he　said　to　her。　'So　Kay　and　I　are　going　to　do　the　dirty　work　while　you　play　with　the　puter。'
　'Yes；　sir；'　she　sweetly　said。
　'Is　there　anywhere　to　have　breakfast　around　here？'　Gallwey　asked　the　private；　who　was　tangled　in　confusion　and　suddenly　shy。
　He　drove　us　in　the　base　mander's　Suburban　beneath　an　endless　sky。　Unsettled　western　mountain　ranges　surrounded　us　in　the　distance；　high　desert　flora　like　sage；　scrub　pine　and　firs；　dwarfed　by　lack　of　rain。　The　nearest　tr