rh.royalassassin-第86章

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When　he　came　back　to　me　a　while　later；　he　held　out　to　me　a　bloodied　medallion。　It　was　hammered　gold；　on　a　silver　chain。　A　crescent　moon。　When　I　did　not　reach　to　take　it　from　him；　he　looped　it　over　the　gory　head　of　my　ax。　〃It　was　Harek's；〃　he　said；　finding　the　Six　Duchies　words　slowly。　〃You　fought　him　well。　He　died　well。　He'd　want　you　to　have　it。　He　was　a　good　man；　before　the　Korriks　took　his　heart。〃　I　did　not　even　ask　him　which　one　had　been　Harek。　I　did　not　want　any　of　them　to　have　names。
　　　　　　　After　a　time　I　began　to　be　alive　again。　I　helped　to　clear　the　bodies　from　the　door　of　the　tower；　and　then　from　the　battlefield。　The　Raiders　we　burned；　the　Six　Duchies　men　we　laid　out　and　covered；　for　kin　to　claim。　I　remember　odd　things　about　that　long　afternoon。　How　a　dead　man's　heels　leave　a　snaking　trail　in　the　sand　when　you　drag　him。　How　the　young　watchman　with　the　dagger　in　him　wasn't　quite　dead　when　we　went　to　gather　him　up。　Not　that　he　lasted　long　afterward。　He　soon　was　just　one　more　body　to　add　to　a　row　that　was　too　long　already。
　　　　　　　We　left　our　warriors　with　what　was　left　of　the　tower　guard　to　help　fill　up　the　watches　until　more　men　could　be　sent　out。
　　　　　　　We　admired　the　vessel　we'd　captured。　Verity　would　be　pleased；　I　thought　to　myself。　Another　ship。　A　very　well…made　one。　I　knew　all　these　things；　but　felt　nothing　about　any　of　them。　We　returned　to　the　Rurisk；　where　a　pale　Justin　awaited　us。　In　a　numbed　silence；　we　launched　the　Rurisk　and　took　our　places　at　the　oars　and　headed　back　to　Buckkeep。
　　　　　　　We　encountered　other　boats　before　we　were　halfway　there。　A　hastily　organized　flotilla　of　fishing　vessels　laden　with　soldiers　hailed　us。　The　King…in…Waiting　had　sent　them；　at　Justin's　urgently　Skilled　behest。　They　seemed　almost　disappointed　to　find　that　the　fighting　was　over；　but　our　master　assured　them　they　would　be　weled　at　the　tower。　That；　I　think；　was　when　I　realized　I　could　no　longer　sense　Verity。　And　hadn't　for　some　time。　I　groped　after　Nighteyes　immediately；　as　another　man　might　grope　after　his　purse。　He　was　there。　But　distant。　Exhausted；　and　awed。　Never　have　I　smelled　so　much　blood；　he　told　me。　I　agreed。　I　still　stank　of　it。
　　　　　　　Verity　had　been　busy。　We　were　scarcely　off　the　Rurisk　before　there　was　another　crew　aboard　to　take　her　back　to　Antler　Island　Tower。　Watch　soldiers　and　another　crew　of　rowers　set　her　heavy　in　the　water。　Verity's　prize　would　be　tied　up　at　his　home　dock　by　this　night。　Another　open　boat　followed　them；　to　bring　our　slain　home。　The　master；　the　mate；　and　Justin　departed　on　provided　horses　to　report　directly　to　Verity。　I　felt　only　relief　that　I　hadn't　been　summoned　also。　Instead；　I　went　with　my　crew　mates。　Faster　than　I　would　have　thought　possible；　word　of　the　battle　and　our　prize　spread　through　Buckkeep　Town。　There　was　not　a　tavern　that　was　not　anxious　to　pour　us　full　of　ale　and　hear　our　exploits。　It　was　almost　like　a　second　battle　frenzy；　for　wherever　we　went；　folk　ignited　around　us　with　savage　satisfaction　in　what　we　had　done。　I　felt　drunk　on　the　surging　emotions　of　those　around　me　long　before　the　ale　overwhelmed　me。　Not　that　I　held　back　from　that。　I　told　few　tales　of　what　we　had　done；　but　my　drinking　more　than　made　up　for　it。　I　threw　up　twice；　once　in　an　alley；　and　later　in　the　street。　I　drank　more　to　kill　the　taste　of　the　vomit。　Somewhere　in　the　back　of　my　mind；　Nighteyes　was　frantic。　Poison。　That　water　is　poisoned。　I　couldn't　frame　a　thought　to　reassure　him。
　　　　　　　Sometime　before　morning；　Burrich　hauled　me　out　of　a　tavern。　He　was　stonily　sober；　and　his　eyes　were　anxious。　In　the　street　outside　the　tavern；　he　stopped　by　a　dying　torch　in　a　street　sconce。　〃There's　still　blood　on　your　face；〃　he　told　me；　and　stood　me　up　straight。　He　took　out　his　handkerchief；　dipped　it　in　a　rain　barrel；　and　wiped　my　face　as　he　had　not　since　I　was　a　child。　I　swayed　under　his　touch。　I　looked　into　his　eyes　and　forced　my　gaze　to　focus。
　　　　　　　〃I've　killed　before；〃　I　said　helplessly。　〃Why　is　this　so　different？　Why　does　it　sicken　me　like　this；　afterward？〃
　　　　　　　〃Because　it　does；〃　he　said　softly。　He　put　an　arm　around　my　shoulders；　and　I　was　surprised　we　were　of　a　height。　The　walk　back　to　Buckkeep　was　steep。　Very　long。　Very　quiet。　He　sent　me　to　the　baths　and　told　me　to　go　to　bed　afterward。
　　　　　　　I　should　have　stayed　in　my　own　bed；　but　I　had　not　the　sense。　Luckily　the　castle　was　abuzz；　and　one　more　drunk　clambering　up　a　staircase　was　not　remarkable。　Stupidly；　I　went　to　Molly's　room。　She　let　me　in。　But　when　I　tried　to　touch　her；　she　pulled　away　from　me。　〃You're　drunk；〃　she　told　me；　almost　crying。　〃I　told　you；　I　promised　myself　to　never　kiss　a　drunk。　Or　be　kissed　by　one。〃
　　　　　　　〃But　I'm　not　drunk　that　way；〃　I　insisted。
　　　　　　　〃There's　only　one　way　to　be　drunk；〃　she　told　me。　And　turned　me　out　of　her　rooms；　untouched。
　　　　　　　By　noon　the　next　day；　I　knew　how　much　I　had　hurt　her　by　not　ing　straight　to　her　to　find　fort。　I　could　understand　what　she　felt。　But　I　also　knew　that　what　I　had　carried　that　night　was　nothing　to　take　home　to　someone　you　loved。　I　wanted　to　explain　that　to　her。　But　a　boy　came　running　up　to　me　to　tell　me　I　was　needed　on　the　Rurisk；　and　right　now。　I　gave　him　a　penny　for　his　troubles　and　watched　him　dash　off　with　it。　Once；　I　had　been　the　boy　earning　the　penny。　I　thought　of　Kerry。　I　tried　to　remember　him　as　the　boy　with　the　penny　in　his　hand；　running　at　my　side；　but　forever　now　he　was　the　Forged　one　dead　on　a　table。　No　one；　I　told　myself；　had　been　taken　for　Forging　yesterday。
　　　　　　　Then　I　headed　down　to　the　docks。　On　the　way　I　stopped　at　the　stable。　I　gave　the　crescent　moon　over　into　Burrich's　hands。　〃Keep　this　safe　for　me；〃　I　asked　him。　〃And　there　will　be　a　bit　more；　my　crew　share　from　the　raid。　I　want　to　have　you　hold　it　for　me　。。。　what　I　make　at　doing　this。　It's　for　Molly。　So　if　ever　I　don't　e　back；　you　be　certain　she　gets　it。　She　doesn't　like　being　a　servant。〃
　　　　　　　I　hadn't　spoken　so　plainly　of　her　to　Burrich　in　a　long　time。　A　line　creased　his　brow；　but　he　took　the　bloodied　moon。　〃What　would　your　father　say　to　me？〃　he　wondered　aloud　as　I　turned　wearily　away　from　him。
　　　　　　　〃I　don't　know；〃　I　told　him　bluntly。　〃I　never　knew　him。　Only　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃FitzChivalry。〃
　　　　　　　I　turned　back　to　him。　Burrich　met　my　eyes　as　he　spoke。　〃I　don't　know　what　he'd　say　to　me。　But　I　know　I　can　say　this　for　him；　to　you。　I'm　proud　of　you。　It's　not　the　kind　of　work　a　man　does　that　says　he　can　be　proud　or　not。　It's　how　he　does　it。　Be　proud　of　yourself。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　will　try；〃　I　told　him　quietly。　I　went　back　to　my　ship。
　　　　　　　Our　next　encounter　with　a　Red…Ship　was　a　less　decisive　victory。　We　met　them　on　the　sea；　and　they　were　not　surprised；　for　they　had　seen　us　ing。　Our　master　stood　the　course；　and　I　think　they　were　surprised　when　we　began　the　engagement　by　ramming　them。　We　sheared　off　a　number　of　their　oars；　but　missed　the　steering　oar　we　had　targeted。　There　was　little　damage　to　the　ship　itself；　the　Red…Ships　were　as　flexible　as　fish。　Our　grapples　flew。　We　outnumbered　them；　and　the　master　intended　to　use　that　advantage。　Our　warriors　boarded　them；　and　half　our　oarsmen　lost　their　heads　and　jumped　in；　too。　It　became　a　chaos　that　spread　briefly　to　our　own　decks。　It　took　every　bit　of　will　I　could　muster　to　withstand　the　vortex　of　emotions　that　engulfed　us；　but　I　stayed　with　my　oar　as　I　had　been　ordered。　Nonge；　at　his　oar；　watched　me　strangely。　I　gripped　my　oar　and　ground　my　teeth　until　I　could　find　myself。　I　muttered　a　curse　when　I　discovered　that　I'd　lost　Verity　again。
　　　　　　　I　think　our　warriors　let　up　a　bit　when　they　knew　we　had　reduced　our　enemy's　crew　to　where　they　could　no　longer　manage　their　vessel。　It　was　a　mistake。　One　of　the　Raiders　set　fire　to　their　own　sail　while　a　second　one　attempted　to　chop　through　their　own　planking。　I　guess　they　hoped　the　fire　would　spread　and　they　could　take　us　down　with　them。　Certainly　at　the　end　they　fought　with　no　care　for　the　damage　they　took　to　their　ship　or　their　own　bodies。　Our　fighters　finally　finished　them；　and　we　got　the　fire　put　out；　but　the　prize　we　towed　back　to　Buckkeep　was　smoking　and　damaged；　and　man　for　man；　we　had　lost　more　lives　than　they　had。　Still；　it　was　a　victory；　we　told　ourselves。　This　time；　when　the　others　went　out　drinking；　I　had　the　sense　to　seek　out　Molly。　And