rh.royalassassin-第66章
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I went straight to Verity's tower。 I knew he would be awaiting me； expecting to work with me on Skilling。 Somehow I would have to convince him that I needed to hunt Forged ones this day。 I climbed the stairs swiftly； wishing this day were over。 All of my life was presently focused on the moment when I could knock on King Shrewd's door and ask his permission to marry Molly。 The mere thought of her flooded me with such a strange bination of unfamiliar feelings that my strides on the stairs slowed as I tried to consider them all。 Then I gave it over as useless。 〃Molly；〃 I said aloud； but softly； to myself。 Like a magic word； it strengthened my resolve and spurred me on。 I stopped outside the door and rapped loudly。
I felt rather than heard Verity's permission to enter。 I pushed open the door and went inside。 I shut the door behind me。
Physically； the room was still。 A cool breeze sprang in from the open window and Verity sat enthroned before it on his old chair。 His hands rested idly on the windowsill and his eyes were fixed on the distant horizon。 His cheeks were pink； his dark hair mussed by the wind's fingers。 Save for the soft current from the window； the room was still and silent。 Yet I felt as if I had stepped into a whirlwind。 Verity's consciousness washed against me and I was drawn into his mind； swept along with his thoughts and his Skilling far out to sea。 He carried me with him on a dizzying tour of every ship within the range of his mind。 Here we brushed the thoughts of a merchant captain； 〃。。。 if the price is good enough； load up with oil for the return trip 。。。。〃 and then skipped from him to a net mender patching hastily； her fid flying； grumbling to herself as the captain railed at her to be faster about her task。 We found a pilot worrying about his pregnant wife at home； and three families out digging clams in the dim morning light before the tide came in to cover the beds again。 These and a dozen others we visited before Verity suddenly recalled us to our own bodies and place。 I felt as giddy as a small boy who has been boosted aloft by his father to perceive the whole chaos of the fair before being returned to his own feet and his child's view of knees and legs。
I approached the window to stand beside Verity。 He still stared out over the water to the horizons。 But I suddenly understood his maps and why he created them。 The network of lives he had touched so briefly for me were as if he had opened his palm to reveal he cupped a handful of priceless gems。 People。 His people。 It was not some rocky coast or rich pastureland that he stood watch over。 It was these folk； these bright glimpses of other lives unlived by him； but cherished all the same。 This was Verity's kingdom。 Geographical boundaries marked on parchment enclosed them for him。 For a moment I shared his bafflement that anyone could wish harm on these people； and shared； too； his fierce determination that not one more life should be lost to the Red…Ships。
The world steadied around me； as vertigo passing； and all was still in the tower top。 Verity did not look at me as he spoke。 〃So。 Hunting today。〃
I nodded； not caring that he did not see the gesture。 It didn't matter。 〃Yes。 The Forged ones are closer than we suspected even。〃
〃Do you expect to fight them？〃
〃You told me to go prepared。 I will try the poison first。
But they may not be as eager to gobble it down。 Or they may still try to attack me。 So I'm taking my blade； in case。〃
〃So I surmised。。 But take this one instead。〃 He lifted a sheathed sword from beside his chair and gave it into my hands。 For a moment I could only look at it。 The leather was fancifully tooled； the hilt had that beautiful simplicity possessed by weapons and tools made by a master。 At Verity's nod； I drew the blade in his presence。 The metal gleamed and shimmered； the hammering and folding that had given it strength recalled as a watery rippling of light down its length。 I held it out and felt it perch in my hand； weightless and waiting。 It was a much finer sword than my skill deserved。 〃I should present it to you with pomp and ceremony； of course。 But I give it to you now； lest for the lack of it you can't return later。 During Winterfest； I might ask it back of you so that I may present it to you properly。〃
I slipped it back into its sheath； then drew it out； swift as an indrawn breath。 I had never possessed anything so finely made。 〃I feel as if I should swear it to you or something；〃 I said awkwardly。
Verity permitted himself a smile。 〃No doubt Regal would require some such oath。 As for me； I don't think a man need swear his sword to me when he has already sworn me his life。〃
Guilt assaulted me。 I took my courage in both hands。 〃Verity； my prince。 I go forth today to serve you as an assassin。〃
Even Verity was taken aback。 〃Direct words；〃 he mused guardedly。
〃It is time for direct words； I think。 That is how I serve you today。 But my heart has grown weary of it。 I have sworn my life to you； as you say； and if you mand it； so must I continue。 But I ask that you find for me another way to serve you。〃
Verity was silent for what seemed a long time。 He rested his chin on his fist and sighed。 〃Were it only I you were sworn to； perhaps I could answer swiftly and simply。 But I am only king…in…waiting。 This request must be made of your king。 As must your request to wed。〃
The silence in the room now grew very wide and deep； making a distance between us。 I could not break it。 Verity spoke at last。 〃I showed you how to ward your dreams； FitzChivalry。 If you neglect to enclose your mind； you cannot blame others for what you divulge。〃
I pushed down my anger and swallowed it。 〃How much？〃 I asked coldly。
〃As little as possible； I assure you。 I am well used to guarding my own thoughts； less so to blocking out those of others。 Especially the thoughts of one as strongly； if erratically Skilled； as yourself。 I did not seek to be privy to your 。。。 assignation。〃
He was silent。 I did not trust myself to speak。 It was not just that my own privacy had been so badly betrayed。 But Molly！ How I was ever to explain this to Molly； I could not imagine。 Nor could I tolerate the idea of yet another silence masking an unspoken lie between us。 As always； Verity was as true as his name。 The carelessness had been mine。 Verity was speaking； very quietly。
〃Truth to tell； I envy you； boy。 Were it my choice； you should be wed today。 If Shrewd denies you permission today； hold this in your heart； and impart it to Lady Red…Skirts： when I am king； you will be free to marry when and where you choose。 I will not do to you what was done to me。〃
I think then that I grasped all that had been taken from Verity。 It is one thing to sympathize with a man whose wife was chosen for him。 It is another to e from the bed of one's beloved； and suddenly realize that a man you care for will never know the fullness of what I had experienced with Molly。 How bitter must it have been to glimpse what Molly and I shared； and what he must be forever denied。
〃Verity。 Thank you；〃 I told him。
He met my eyes briefly and gave me a wan smile。
〃Well。 I suppose。〃 He hesitated。 〃This is not a promise； so do not take it as such。 There may be something I can do about the other as well。 You might not have time to function as a 。。。 diplomat； if you were given other duties。 Duties more valuable to us。〃
〃Such as？〃 I asked cautiously。
〃My ships grow； day by day； taking shape under their masters' hands。 And again； I am denied what I most desire。 I will not be allowed to sail on them。 There is much mon sense to that。 Here； I am able to look out over all and direct all。 Here； my life is not risked to the violence of the Red…Ship pirates。 Here； I can coordinate the attacks of several vessels at once； and dispatch aid where it is most needed。〃 He cleared his throat。 〃On the other hand； I will not feel the wind or hear it snapping in the sail； and I will never be allowed to fight the Raiders as I long to； with a blade in my hand； killing swiftly and cleanly； taking blood for the blood they have taken。〃 Cold fury ro
