rh.royalassassin-第125章

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　constant　watchfulness　told　on　me　in　a　hundred　ways。　I　was　snappish　to　those　who　spoke　to　me　casually；　moody　when　I　checked　on　Burrich；　reticent　with　the　Queen。　Chade；　the　only　one　to　whom　I　could　have　unburdened　myself；　did　not　summon　me。　I　was　miserably　alone。　I　dared　not　go　to　Molly。　I　kept　my　visits　to　Burrich　as　brief　as　possible　for　fear　of　bringing　my　troubles　down　on　him。　I　could　not　openly　leave　Buckkeep　to　spend　time　with　Nighteyes；　and　I　feared　to　leave　by　our　secret　way　lest　I　be　watched。　I　waited　and　I　watched；　but　that　nothing　further　happened　to　me　became　a　sophisticated　torture　of　suspense。
　　　　　　　I　did　call　on　King　Shrewd　daily。　I　watched　him　dwindle　before　my　eyes；　saw　the　Fool　bee　daily　more　morose；　his　humor　more　acid。　I　longed　for　savage　winter　weather　to　match　my　mood；　but　the　skies　continued　blue　and　the　winds　calm。　Within　Buckkeep；　the　evenings　were　noisy　with　gaiety　and　revel。　There　were　masked　balls；　and　summonings　of　minstrels　to　pete　for　fat　purses。　The　Inland　Dukes　and　nobles　ate　well　at　Regal's　table；　and　drank　well　with　him　late　into　the　night。
　　　　　　　〃Like　ticks　on　a　dying　dog；〃　I　said　savagely　to　Burrich　one　day　as　I　was　changing　the　dressing　on　his　leg　for　him。　He　had　made　ment　that　it　was　no　trick　to　stay　awake　on　his　night　guard　duty　at　Kettricken's　door；　for　the　noise　of　the　revelry　would　have　made　it　difficult　to　sleep。
　　　　　　　〃Who's　dying？〃　he　asked。
　　　　　　　〃All　of　us。　One　day　at　a　time；　we're　all　dying。　Did　no　one　ever　tell　you　that？　But　this　is　healing；　and　surprisingly　well　for　all　you've　done　to　it。〃
　　　　　　　He　looked　down　at　his　bared　leg　and　cautiously　flexed　it。　The　tissue　pulled　unevenly；　but　held。　〃Maybe　the　gash　is　closed　up；　but　it　doesn't　feel　healed　inside；〃　he　observed。　It　was　not　a　plaint。　He　lifted　his　brandy　cup　and　drained　it　off。　I　eyed　it　narrowly。　His　days　had　a　pattern　now。　Once　he　left　Kettricken's　door　in　the　morning；　he　went　to　the　kitchen　and　ate。　Then　he　came　back　to　his　room　and　began　drinking。　After　I　appeared　and　helped　him　change　the　bandaging　on　his　leg；　he　would　drink　until　it　was　time　for　him　to　sleep。　And　wake　up　in　the　evening；　just　in　time　to　eat　and　then　go　guard　Kettricken's　door。　He　no　longer　did　anything　in　the　stables。　He　had　given　them　over　to　Hands；　who　went　about　looking　as　if　the　job　were　a　punishment　he　hadn't　deserved。
　　　　　　　Every　other　day　or　so；　Patience　sent　Molly　up　to　tidy　Burrich's　room　for　him。　I　knew　little　of　these　visits　other　than　that　they　happened；　and　that　Burrich；　surprisingly；　tolerated　them。　I　had　mixed　feelings　about　them。　No　matter　how　much　Burrich　drank；　he　always　treated　women　graciously；　yet　the　emptied　brandy　bottles　in　a　row　could　not　but　remind　Molly　of　her　father。　Still；　I　wished　them　to　know　one　another。　One　day　I　told　Burrich　that　Molly　had　been　threatened　because　of　her　association　with　me。　〃Association？〃　he　had　asked　sharply。
　　　　　　　〃Some　few　know　that　I　care　for　her；〃　I　admitted　gingerly。
　　　　　　　〃A　man　does　not　bring　his　problems　down　on　a　woman　he　cares　for；〃　he　told　me　severely。
　　　　　　　I　had　no　reply　to　that。　Instead　I　gave　him　the　few　details　Molly　had　recalled　about　her　attackers；　but　they　suggested　nothing　to　him。　For　a　time　he　had　stared　off；　right　through　the　walls　of　his　room。　After　a　time　he　picked　up　his　cup　and　drained　it。　He　spoke　carefully。　〃I　am　going　to　tell　her　that　you　are　worried　about　her。　I　am　going　to　tell　her　that　if　she　fears　danger；　she　must　e　to　me。　I　am　more　in　a　position　to　deal　with　it。〃　He　looked　up　and　met　my　eyes。　〃I　am　going　to　tell　her　that　you　are　wise　to　stay　away　from　her；　for　her　sake。〃　As　he　poured　himself　another　drink　he　had　added　quietly　to　the　tabletop；　〃Patience　was　right。　And　she　was　wise　to　send　her　to　me。〃
　　　　　　　I　blanched　to　consider　the　fill　implications　of　that　statement。　For　once；　I　was　smart　enough　to　know　when　to　be　quiet。　He　drank　his　brandy　down；　then　looked　at　the　bottle。　Slowly；　he　slid　it　across　the　table　toward　me。　〃Put　that　back　on　the　shelf　for　me；　will　you？〃　he　requested。
　　　　　　　Animals　and　winter　stores　continued　to　be　drained　from　Buckkeep。　Some　were　sold　off　cheaply　to　Inland　Duchies。　The　very　finest　of　the　hunting　and　riding　horses　were　barged　up　the　Buck；　to　an　area　near　Turlake。　Regal　announced　this　as　a　plan　to　preserve　our　best　breeding　stock　far　from　the　ravages　of　the　Red…Ships。　The　mutter　of　the　folk　in　Buckkeep　Town；　so　Hands　told　me；　was　that　if　the　King　could　not　hold　his　own　castle；　what　hope　was　there　for　them？　When　a　shipment　of　fine　old　tapestries　and　furniture　were　sent　upriver　as　well；　the　murmur　became　that　soon　the　Farseers　would　abandon　Buckkeep　entirely；　without　even　a　fight；　without　even　waiting　for　an　assault。　I　had　the　unfortable　suspicion　the　rumor　was　correct。
　　　　　　　Confined　as　I　was　to　Buckkeep；　I　had　little　direct　access　to　the　talk　of　the　mon　folk。　A　silence　greeted　my　entry　to　the　watchroom　now。　With；　my　restriction　to　the　Keep　had　e　gossip　and　speculation。　The　talk　that　had　flown　about　me　on　the　day　I　had　failed　to　save　the　little　girl　from　the　Forged　ones　found　new　life。　Few　of　the　guard　spoke　to　me　of　anything　other　than　the　weather　or　other　pleasantries。　While　they　did　not　make　me　a　total　pariah；　I　was　banished　from　the　easy　conversations　and　rambling　arguments　that　usually　filled　the　watchroom。　To　talk　to　me　had　bee　bad　luck。　I　wouldn't　inflict　that　on　men　and　women　I　cared　about。
　　　　　　　I　was　still　wele　about　the　stables；　but　I　strove　not　to　talk　to　any　one　person　too　much；　or　appear　too　close　to　any　of　the　beasts。　The　stable　workers　were　a　morose　lot　these　days。　There　was　not　enough　work　to　busy　them；　so　quarrels　were　more　frequent。　The　stable　hands　were　my　major　source　of　news　and　rumors。　None　of　it　was　cheery。　There　were　garbled　stories　of　raids　on　Bearns　towns；　gossip　about　brawls　in　the　taverns　and　on　the　docks　of　Buckkeep　Town；　and　accounts　of　folk　moving　south　or　inland　as　their　means　allowed。　What　talk　there　was　of　Verity　and　his　quest　was　demeaning　or　ridiculing。　Hope　had　perished。　Like　me；　the　folk　of　Buckkeep　were　waiting　in　suspense　for　disaster　to　e　to　their　doorsteps。
　　　　　　　We　had　a　month　of　stormy　weather；　and　the　relief　and　rejoicing　in　Buckkeep　were　more　destructive　than　the　preceding　period　of　tension　had　been。　A　waterfront　tavern　caught　fire　during　an　especially　wild　evening　of　revelry。　The　fire　spread；　and　only　the　drenching　rain　that　followed　the　gusting　winds　saved　it　from　spreading　to　the　dock　warehouses。　That　would　have　been　a　disaster　in　more　than　one　way；　for　as　Regal　drained　the　Keep　warehouses　of　grain　and　supplies；　folk　in　the　town　saw　little　reason　to　conserve　what　was　left。　Even　if　the　Raiders　never　came　to　Buckkeep　itself；　I　was　resigned　to　short　rations　before　the　winter　was　out。
　　　　　　　I　woke　one　night　to　stark　stillness。　The　howl　of　the　storm　winds　and　the　rattling　of　rain　had　stilled。　My　heart　sank。　A　terrible　premonition　filled　me；　and　when　I　rose　to　a　clear　blue　morning；　my　dread　increased。　Despite　the　sunny　day；　the　atmosphere　in　the　Keep　was　oppressive。　Several　times　I　felt　the　tickling　of　the　Skill　against　my　senses。　It　nearly　drove　me　mad；　for　I　did　not　know　if　it　was　Verity　attempting　better　contact；　or　Justin　and　Serene　prying。　A　late…afternoon　visit　to　King　Shrewd　and　the　Fool　disheartened　me　further。　The　King；　wasted　to　little　more　than　bones；　was　sitting　up　and　smiling　vaguely。　He　Skilled　feebly　toward　me　as　I　came　in　the　door；　and　then　greeted　me　with；　〃Ah；　Verity；　my　lad。　How　did　your　sword　lesson　go　today？〃　The　rest　of　his　conversation　made　as　much　sense。　Regal　appeared　almost　immediately　after　I　arrived。　He　sat　on　a　straight…backed　chair；　arms　crossed　on　his　chest；　and　looked　at　me。　No　words　were　exchanged　between　us。　I　could　not　decide　if　my　silence　were　cowardice　or　self…restraint。　I　escaped　him　as　soon　as　I　decently　could；　despite　a　rebuking　look　from　the　Fool。
　　　　　　　The　Fool　himself　looked　little　better　than　the　King。　On　so　colorless　a　creature　as　the　Fool；　the　dark　circles　under　his　eyes　looked　painted　on。　His　tongue　had　grown　as　still　as　the　clappers　in　his　bells。　When　King　Shrewd　died；　nothing　would　stand　between　the　Fool　and　Regal。　I　wondered　if　there　was　any　way　I　could　aid　him。
　　　　　　　As　if　I　could　aid　myself；　I　reflected　sourly。
　　　　　　　In