mp.godfather-第96章

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rned　toward　her；　and　Kay　said　in　contrition；　〃Oh；　Mike；　I　don't　even　notice　that　stupid　thing；　I　swear　I　don't。〃
　
　〃I　know；〃　Michael　said　laughing。　〃I　like　having　it　now　except　that　it　makes　the　snot　drip　out　of　my　nose。〃
　
　〃You　said　be　serious；〃　Kay　went　on。　〃If　we　get　married　what　kind　of　a　life　am　I　supposed　to　lead？　Like　your　mother；　like　an　Italian　housewife　with　just　the　kids　and　home　to　take　care　of？　And　what　about　if　something　happens？　I　suppose　you　could　wind　up　in　jail　someday。〃
　
　〃No；　that's　not　possible；〃　Michael　said。　〃Killed；　yes；　jail；　no。〃
　
　Kay　laughed　at　this　confidence；　it　was　a　laugh　that　had　a　funny　mixture　of　pride　with　its　amusement。　〃But　how　can　you　say　that？〃　she　said。　〃Really。〃
　
　Michael　sighed。　〃These　are　all　the　things　I　can't　talk　to　you　about；　I　don't　want　to　talk　to　you　about。〃
　
　Kay　was　silent　for　a　long　time。　〃Why　do　you　want　me　to　marry　you　after　never　calling　me　all　these　months？　Am　I　so　good　in　bed？〃
　
　Michael　nodded　gravely。　〃Sure；〃　he　said。　〃But　I'm　getting　it　for　nothing　so　why　should　I　marry　you　for　that？　Look；　I　don't　want　an　answer　now。　We're　going　to　keep　seeing　each　other。　You　can　talk　it　over　with　your　parents。　I　hear　your　father　is　a　real　tough　guy　in　his　own　way。　Listen　to　his　advice。〃
　
　〃You　haven't　answered　why；　why　you　want　to　marry　me；〃　Kay　said。
　
　Michael　took　a　white　handkerchief　from　the　drawer　of　the　night　table　and　held　it　to　his　nose。　He　blew　into　it　and　then　wiped。　〃There's　the　best　reason　for　not　marrying　me；〃　he　said。　〃How　would　that　be　having　a　guy　around　who　always　has　to　blow　his　nose？〃
　
　Kay　said　impatiently；　〃e　on；　be　serious；　I　asked　you　a　question。〃
　
　Michael　held　the　handkerchief　in　his　hand。　〃OK；〃　he　said；　〃this　one　time。　You　are　the　only　person　I　felt　any　affection　for；　that　I　care　about。　I　didn't　call　you　because　it　never　occurred　to　me　that　you'd　still　be　interested　in　me　after　everything　that's　happened。　Sure；　I　could　have　chased　you；　I　could　have　conned　you；　but　I　didn't　want　to　do　that。　Now　here's　something　I'll　trust　you　with　and　I　don't　want　you　to　repeat　it　even　to　your　father。　If　everything　goes　right；　the　Corleone　Family　will　be　pletely　legitimate　in　about　five　years。　Some　very　tricky　things　have　to　be　done　to　make　that　possible。　That's　when　you　may　bee　a　wealthy　widow。　Now　what　do　I　want　you　for？　Well；　because　I　want　you　and　I　want　a　family。　I　want　kids；　it's　time。　And　I　don't　want　those　kids　to　be　influenced　by　me　the　way　I　was　influenced　by　my　father。　I　don't　mean　my　father　deliberately　influenced　me。　He　never　did。　He　never　even　wanted　me　in　the　family　business。　He　wanted　me　to　bee　a　professor　or　a　doctor；　something　like　that。　But　things　went　bad　and　I　had　to　fight　for　my　Family。　I　had　to　fight　because　l　love　and　admire　my　father。　I　never　knew　a　man　more　worthy　of　respect。　He　was　a　good　husband　and　a　good　father　and　a　good　friend　to　people　who　were　not　so　fortunate　in　life。　There's　another　side　to　him；　but　that's　not　relevant　to　me　as　his　son。　Anyway　I　don't　want　that　to　happen　to　our　kids。　I　want　them　to　be　influenced　by　you。　I　want　them　to　grow　up　to　be　All…American　kids；　real　All…American；　the　whole　works。　Maybe　they　or　their　grandchildren　will　go　into　politics。〃　Michael　grinned。　〃Maybe　one　of　them　will　be　President　of　the　United　States。　Why　the　hell　not？　In　my　history　course　at　Dartmouth　we　did　some　background　on　all　the　Presidents　and　they　had　fathers　and　grandfathers　who　were　lucky　they　didn't　get　hanged。　But　I'll　settle　for　my　kids　being　doctors　or　musicians　or　teachers。　They'll　never　be　in　the　Family　business。　By　the　time　they　are　that　old　I'll　be　retired　anyway。　And　you　and　I　will　be　part　of　some　country　club　crowd；　the　good　simple　life　of　well…to…do　Americans。　How　dote　that　strike　you　for　a　proposition？〃
　
　〃Marvelous；〃　Kay　said。　〃But　you　sort　of　skipped　ones　the　widow　part。〃
　
　〃There's　not　much　chance　of　that。　I　just　mentioned　it　to　give　a　fair　presentation。〃　Michael　patted　his　nose　with　the　handkerchief。
　
　〃I　can't　believe　it；　I　can't　believe　you're　a　man　like　that；　you're　just　not；〃　Kay　said。　Her　face　had　a　bewildered　look。　〃I　just　don't　understand　the　whole　thing；　how　it　could　possibly　be。〃
　
　〃Well；　I'm　not　giving　any　more　explanations；〃　Michael　said　gently。　〃You　know；　you　don't　have　to　think　about　any　of　this　stuff；　it　has　nothing　to　do　with　you　really；　or　with　our　life　together　if　we　get　married。〃
　
　Kay　shook　her　head。　〃How　can　you　want　to　marry　me；　how　can　you　hint　that　you　love　me；　you　never　say　the　word　but　you　just　now　said　you　loved　your　father；　you　never　said　you　loved　me；　how　could　you　if　you　distrust　me　so　much　you　can't　tell　me　about　the　most　important　things　in　your　life？　How　can　you　want　to　have　a　wife　you　can't　trust？　Your　father　trusts　your　mother。　I　know　that。〃
　
　〃Sure；〃　Michael　said。　〃But　that　doesn't　mean　he　tells　her　everything。　And；　you　know；　he　has　reason　to　trust　her。　Not　because　they　got　married　and　she's　his　wife。　But　she　bore　him　four　children　in　times　when　it　was　not　that　safe　to　bear　children。　She　nursed　and　guarded　him　when　people　shot　him。　She　believed　in　him。　He　was　always　her　first　loyalty　for　forty　years。　After　you　do　that　maybe　I'll　tell　you　a　few　things　you　really　don't　want　to　hear。〃
　
　〃Will　we　have　to　live　in　the　mall？〃　Kay　asked。
　
　Michael　nodded。　〃We'll　have　our　own　house；　it　won't　be　so　bad。　My　parents　don't　meddle。　Our　lives　will　be　our　own。　But　until　everything　gets　straightened　out；　I　have　to　live　in　the　mall。〃
　
　〃Because　it's　dangerous　for　you　to　live　outside　it；〃　Kay　said。
　
　For　the　first　time　since　she　had　e　to　know　him；　she　saw　Michael　angry。　It　was　cold　chilling　anger　that　was　not　externalized　in　any　gesture　or　change　in　voice。　It　was　a　coldness　that　came　off　him　like　death　and　Kay　knew　that　it　was　this　coldness　that　would　make　her　decide　not　to　marry　him　if　she　so　decided。
　
　〃The　trouble　is　all　that　damn　trash　in　the　movies　and　the　newspapers；〃　Michael　said。　〃You've　got　the　wrong　idea　of　my　father　and　the　Corleone　Family。　I'll　make　a　final　explanation　and　this　one　will　be　really　final。　My　father　is　a　businessman　trying　to　provide　for　his　wife　and　children　and　those　friends　he　might　need　someday　in　a　time　of　trouble。　He　doesn't　accept　the　rules　of　the　society　we　live　in　bgcause　those　rules　would　have　condemned　him　to　a　life　not　suitable　to　a　man　like　himself；　a　man　of　extraordinary　force　and　character。　What　you　have　to　understand　is　that　he　considers　himself　the　equal　of　all　those　great　men　like　Presidents　and　Prime　Ministers　and　Supreme　Court　Justices　and　Governors　of　the　States。　He　refuses　to　live　by　rules　set　up　by　others；　rules　which　condemn　him　to　a　defeated　life。　But　his　ultimate　aim　is　to　enter　that　society　with　a　certain　power　since　society　doesn't　really　protect　its　members　who　do　not　have　their　own　individual　power。　In　the　meantime　he　operates　on　a　code　of　ethics　he　considers　far　superior　to　the　legal　structures　of　society。〃
　
　Kay　was　looking　at　him　incredulously。　〃But　that's　ridiculous；〃　she　said。　〃What　if　everybody　felt　the　same　way？　How　could　society　ever　function；　we'd　be　back　in　the　times　of　the　cavemen。　Mike；　you　don't　believe　what　you're　saying；　do　you？〃
　
　Michael　grinned　at　her。　〃I'm　just　telling　you　what　my　father　believes。　I　just　want　you　to　understand　that　whatever　else　he　is；　he's　not　irresponsible；　or　at　least　not　in　the　society　which　he　has　created。　He's　not　a　crazy　machine…gunning　mobster　as　you　seem　to　think。　He's　a　responsible　man　in　his　own　way。〃
　
　〃And　what　do　you　believe？〃　Kay　asked　quietly。
　
　Michael　shrugged。　〃I　believe　in　my　family；〃　he　said。　〃I　believe　in　you　and　the　family　we　may　have。　I　don't　trust　society　to　protect　us；　I　have　no　intention　of　placing　my　fate　in　the　hands　of　men　where　only　qualification　is　that　they　managed　to　con　a　block　of　people　to　vote　for　them。　But　that's　for　now。　My　father's　time　is　done。　The　things　he　did　can　no　longer　be　done　exeept　wilt　a　great　deal　of　risk。　Whether　we　like　it　or　not　the　Corleone　Family　has　to　join　that　society。　But　when　they　do　I'd　like　us　to　join　it　with　plenty　of　our　own　power；　that　is；　money　and　ownership　of　other　valuables。　I'd　like　to　make　my　children　as　secure　as　possible　before　the