cb.imajica2-第9章
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nd so tall that the lights blazing in the walls to illuminate its sole occupant receded like cat's eyes in a highway till sheer distance dimmed then erased them。 An extraordinary sight： but nothing beside the monolith around which the tower had been constructed。 Gentle had been steeling himself for an assault when the door was opened： the tone he'd heard in his skull as he'd crept along the passage below rattling his teeth； the charge burning in his fingers。 But there was nothing； not even a murmur； which was in its way more distressing。 The Pivot knew he was here in its chamber but was keeping its counsel； silently assessing him as he assessed it。
There were several shocks。 The first； and the least； how beautiful it was； its sides the color of thunderclouds； hewn so that seams of brightness flowed in them like hidden lightning。 The second； that it was not set on the ground but hovered； in all its enormity； ten feet from the floor of the tower； casting a shadow so dense that the dark air was almost a plinth。
〃Impressive； huh？〃 Sartori remarked； his cocky tone as inappropriate as laughter at an altar。 〃You can walk underneath it。 Go on。 It's quite safe。〃
Gentle was reluctant； but he was all too aware that his other was watching for his weaknesses； and any sign of fear now might be used against him later。 Sartori had already seen him sickened and down on his knees； he didn't want the bastard to get another glimpse of frailty。
〃Aren't you ing with me？〃 he said； glancing around at the Autarch。
〃It's a very private moment；〃 the other replied； and stood back to let Gentle venture into the shadow。
It was like stepping back into the wastes of the Jokalaylau。 Cold cut him to the marrow。 His breath was snatched from his lungs and appeared before him in a bitter cloud。 Gasping； he turned his face to the power above him； his mind divided between the rational urge to study the phenomenon and the barely controllable desire to drop to his knees and beg it not to crush him。 The heaven above him had five sides； he saw。 One for each Dominion； perhaps。 And like the hewn flanks； flickers of lightning appeared in it here and there。 But it wasn't simply a trick of seam and shadow that gave the stone the look of a thundercloud。 There was motion in it； the solid rock roiling above him。 He threw a glance towards Sartori； who was standing at the door； casually putting a cigarette between his lips。 The flame he struck to light it with was a world away； but Gentle didn't envy him its warmth。 Icy as this shadow was； he wanted the stone sky to unfurl above him and deliver its judgment down； he wanted to see whatever power the Pivot possessed unleashed； if only to know that such powers and such judgments existed。 He looked away from Sartori almost contemptuously； the thought shaping in his head that for all the other's talk of possessing this monolith； the years it had spent in this tower were moments in its incalculable span； and he and Sartori would have e and gone； their little mark eroded by those that followed； in the time it took the stone to blink its cloudy eye。
Perhaps it read that thought from his cortex and approved； because the light； when it came； was kind。 There was sun in the stone as well as lightning； warmth as well as a killing fire。 It brightened the mantle； then fell in shafts； first around him； then upon his upturned face。 The moment had antecedents： events in the Fifth that had prophesied this； their parent's； ing。 He'd stood on Highgate Hill once； when the city road was still a muddy track； and looked up to see the clouds drop glory down as they were doing now。 He'd gone to the window of his room in Gamut Street and seen the same。 He'd watched the smoke clear after a night of bombing…1941； the Blitz at its height…and seeing the sun burn through； had known in some place too tender to be touched that he'd forgotten something momentous； and that if he ever remembered…if a light like this ever burned the veil away…the world would unravel。
That conviction came again； but this time there was more than a vague unease to support it。 The tone that had sounded in his skull had e again； attendant on the light； and in it； described by the subtlest variation in its monotony； he heard words。
The Pivot was addressing him。
Reconciler； it said。
He wanted to cover his ears and shut the word out。 Drop to the ground like a prophet begging to be unburdened of some divine duty。 But the word was inside as well as out。 There was no escaping it。
The work's not finished yet； the Pivot said。
〃What work？〃 he said。
You know what work。
He did； of course。 But so much pain had e with that labor； and he was ill equipped to bear it again。
Why deny it？ the Pivot said。
He stared up into the brightness。 〃I failed before； and so many people died。 I can't do it again。 Please。 I can't。〃
What did you e here for？ the Pivot asked him； its voice so tenuous he had to hold his breath to catch the shape of the words。 The question took him back to Taylor's bedside； to that plea for prehension。
〃To understand 。。。〃 he said。
To understand what？
〃I can't put it into words 。。。 it sounds so pitiful。。。。〃
Say it。
〃To understand why I was born。 Why anybody's born。〃
You know why you were born。
〃No； I don't。 I wish I did； but I don't。〃
You're the Reconciler of Dominions。 You 're the healer of the Imajica。 Hide from that； and you hide from understanding。 Maestro； there's a worse anguish than remembering； and another suffers it because you leave your work unfinished。
Go back into the Fifth Dominion and plete what you began。 Make the many One。 This is the only salvation。
The stone sky began to roil again； and the clouds closed over the sun。 With the darkness； the cold returned； but he didn't relinquish his place in the Pivot's shadow for several seconds； still hoping some crack would open and the God speak a last consoling word； a whisper perhaps； of how this onerous duty might be passed to another soul more readily equipped to acplish it。 But there was nothing。 The vision had passed； and all he could do was wrap his arms around his shuddering frame and stumble out to where Sartori stood。 The other's cigarette lay smoking at his feet； where it had dropped from his fingers。 By the expression on his face it was apparent that even if he'd not prehended every detail of the exchange that had just taken place； he had the gist。
〃The Unbeheld speaks；〃 he said； his voice as flat as the God's。
〃I don't want this；〃 Gentle said。
〃I don't think this is any place to talk about denying Him；〃 Sartori said； giving the Pivot a queasy glance。
〃I didn't say I was denying Him；〃 Gentle replied。 〃Just that I didn't want it。〃
〃Still better discussed in private；〃 Sartori whispered； turning to open the door。
He didn't lead Gentle back to the mean little room where they'd met； but to a chamber at the other end of the passageway； which boasted the only window he'd seen in the vicinity。 It was narrow and dirty； but not as dirty as the sky on the other side。 Dawn had begun to touch the clouds； but the smoke that still rose in curling columns from the fires below all but canceled its frail light。
〃This isn't what I came for；〃 Gentle said as he stared out at the murk。 〃I wanted answers。〃
〃You've had 'em。〃
〃I have to take what's mine； however foul it is？〃
〃Not yours； ours。 The responsibility。 The pain〃…he paused…〃and the glory； of course。〃
Gentle glanced at him。 〃It's mine；〃 he said simply。
Sartori shrugged； as though this were of no consequence to him whatsoever。 Gentle saw his own wiles working in that simple gesture。 How many times had he shrugged in precisely that fashion…raised his eyebrows； pursed his lips； looked away with feigned indifference？ He let Sartori believe the bluff was working。
〃I'm glad you understand；〃 he said。 〃The burden's mine。〃
〃You've failed before。〃
〃But I came close；〃 Gentle said； feigning access to a memory he didn't yet have in the hope of coaxing an informative rebuttal。
〃Close isn't good enough；〃 Sartori said。 〃Close is lethal。 A tragedy。 Look what it did to you。 The great Maestro。 You crawl back here with half your wits missing。〃
〃The Pivot trusts me。〃
That struck a t
