cb.imajica2-第75章

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　〃He　said　he　remembered　being　suckled。　That　was　the　first　thing　he　could　recall：　the　teat　at　his　mouth。〃
　Only　now　did　Gentle　grasp　the　subject　under　debate　here。　Once　again　his　memory　had　found　some　fragment　of　conversation　between　himself　and　the　mystif　pertinent　to　his　present　concerns。　They'd　talked　of　childhood　memories　in　this　very　room；　and　the　Maestro　had　been　plunged　into　the　same　distress　which　he　felt　now；　and　for　the　same　reason。
　〃But　to　remember　a　story；〃　Pie　was　saying。　〃Particularly　one　you　didn't　like…〃
　〃It　wasn't　that　I　didn't　like　it；〃　the　Maestro　said。　〃At　least；　it　didn't　frighten　me；　the　way　a　ghost　story　might　have　done。　It　was　worse　than　that。。。。〃
　〃We　don't　have　to　talk　about　this；〃　Pie　said；　and　for　a　moment　Gentle　thought　the　conversation　was　going　to　fizzle　out　there。　He　wasn't　altogether　certain　he'd　have　minded　if　it　had。　But　it　seemed　to　have　been　one　of　the　unwritten　rules　of　this　house　that　no　inquiry　was　ever　fled　from；　however　disfiting。
　〃No；　I　want　to　explain　if　I　can；〃　the　Maestro　said。　〃Though　what　a　child　fears　is　sometimes　hard　to　fathom。〃
　〃Unless　we　can　listen　with　a　child's　heart；〃　Pie　said。
　〃That's　harder　still。〃
　〃We　can　try；　can't　we？　Tell　me　the　story。〃
　〃Well；　it　always　began　the　same　way。　My　mother　would　say；　I　want　you　to　remember；　child；　and　I'd　know　right　away　what　was　going　to　follow。　There　was　a　woman　called　Nisi　Nirvana；　and　she　went　into　a　city　full　of　iniquities。。。。〃
　Now　Gentle　heard　the　story　again；　this　time　from　his　own　lips；　told　to　the　mystif。　The　woman；　the　city；　the　crime；　the　child；　and　then；　with　a　sickening　inevitability；　the　story　beginning　again　with　the　woman　and　the　city　and　the　crime。
　〃Rape　isn't　a　very　pretty　subject　for　a　nursery　tale；〃　Pie　observed。
　〃She　never　used　that　word。〃
　〃But　that's　what　the　crime　is；　isn't　it？〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said　softly；　though　he　was　unfortable　with　the　admission。　This　was　his　mother's　secret；　his　mother's　pain。　But　yes；　of　course；　Nisi　Nirvana　was　Celestine；　and　the　city　of　terrors　was　the　First　Dominion。　She'd　told　her　child　her　own　story；　encoded　in　a　grim　little　fable。　But　more　bizarrely　than　that；　she'd　folded　the　listener　into　the　tale；　and　even　the　telling　of　the　tale　itself；　creating　a　circle　impossible　to　break　because　all　of　its　constituent　elements　were　trapped　inside。　Was　it　that　sense　of　entrapment　that　had　so　distressed　him　as　a　child？　Pie　had　another　theory；　however；　and　was　voicing　it　from　across　the　years。
　〃No　wonder　you　were　so　afraid；〃　the　mystif　said；　〃not　knowing　what　the　crime　was；　but　knowing　it　was　terrible。　I'm　sure　she　meant　no　harm　by　it。　But　your　imagination　must　have　run　riot。〃
　Gentle　didn't　reply；　or；　rather；　couldn't。　For　the　first　time　in　these　conversations　with　Pie　he　knew　more　than　history　did；　and　the　discontinuity　fractured　the　glass　in　which　he'd　been　seeing　the　past。　He　felt　a　bitter　sense　of　loss；　adding　to　the　distress　he'd　carried　into　this　room。　It　was　as　though　the　tale　of　Nisi　Nirvana　marked　the　divide　between　the　self　who'd　occupied　these　rooms　two　hundred　years　before；　ignorant　of　his　divinity；　and　the　man　he　was　now；　who　knew　that　the　story　of　Nisi　Nirvana　was　his　mother's　story；　and　the　crime　she'd　told　him　about　was　the　act　that　had　brought　him　into　being。　There　could　be　no　more　dallying　in　the　past　after　this。　He'd　learned　what　he　needed　to　know　about　the　Reconciliation；　and　he　couldn't　justify　further　loitering。　It　was　time　to　leave　the　fort　of　memory；　and　Pie　with　it。
　He　picked　up　the　bottle　of　beer　and　struck　off　the　cap。　It　probably　wasn't　wise　to　be　drinking　alcohol　at　this　juncture；　but　he　wanted　to　toast　the　past　before　it　faded　from　view　entirely。　There　must　have　been　a　time〃；　he　thought；　when　he　and　Pie　had　raised　a　glass　to　the　millennium。　Could　he　conjure　such　a　moment　now　and　join　his　intention　with　the　past　one　last　time？　He　raised　the　bottle　to　his　lips　and；　as　he　drank；　heard　Pie　laughing　across　the　room。　He　looked　in　the　mystlf's　direction；　and　there；　fading　already；　he　caught　a　glimpse　of　his　lover；　not　with　a　glass　in　hand　but　a　carafe；　。　toasting　the　future。　He　lifted　the　beer　bottle　to　touch　the　carafe；　but　the　mystif　was　fading　too　fast。　Before　past　and　present　could　share　the　toast；　the　vision　was　gone。　It　was　time　to　begin。
　Downstairs；　Monday　was　back；　talking　excitedly。　Setting　the　bottle　down　on　the　mantelpiece；　Gentle　went　out　onto　the　landing　to　find　out　what　all　the　furor　was　about。　The　boy　was　at　the　door；　in　the　middle　of　describing　the　state　of　the　city　to　Clem　and　Jude。　He'd　never　seen　a　stranger　Saturday　night；　he　said。　The　streets　were　practically　empty。　The　only　thing　that　was　moving　was　the　traffic　lights。
　〃At　least　we'll　have　an　easy　trip；〃　Jude　said。
　〃Are　we　going　somewhere？〃
　She　told　him；　and　he　was　well　pleased。
　〃I　like　it　out　in　the　country；〃　he　said。　〃We　can　do　what　the　fuck　we　like。〃
　〃Let's　just　make　it　back　alive；〃　she　said。　〃He's　relying　on　us。〃
　〃No　problem；〃　Monday　said　cheerily。　Then；　to　Clem：　〃Look　after　the　boss…man；　huh？　If　things　get　weird；　we　can　always　call　on　Irish　and　the　rest。〃
　〃Did　you　tell　them　where　we　are？〃　Clem　said。
　〃They're　not　going　to　fetch　up　lookin'　for　a　bed；　don't　worry；〃　Monday　said。　〃But　the　way　I　reckon　it；　the　more　friends　we　got；　the　better。〃　He　turned　to　Jude。　〃I'm　ready　when　you　are；〃　he　said；　and　headed　back　outside。
　〃This　shouldn't　take　more　than　two　or　three　hours；〃　Jude　told　Clem。　〃Look　after　yourself。　And　him。〃
　She　glanced　up　the　stairs　as　she　spoke；　but　the　candles　at　the　bottom　threw　too　frail　a　light　to　reach　the　top；　and　she　failed　to　see　Gentle　there。　It　was　only　when　she'd　gone　from　the　step；　and　the　car　was　roaring　away　down　the　street；　that　he　made　his　presence　known。
　〃Monday's　e　back；〃　Clem　said。
　〃I　heard。〃
　〃Did　he　disturb　you？　I'm　sorry。〃
　〃No；　no。　I　was　finished　anyway。〃
　〃The　night's　so　hot；〃　Clem　said；　gazing　up　at　the　sky。
　〃Why　don't　you　sleep　for　a　while？　I　can　stand　guard。〃
　〃Where's　that　bloody　pet　of　yours？〃
　〃He's　called　Little　Ease；　Clem；　and　he's　on　the　top　floor；　keeping　watch。〃
　〃I　don't　trust　him；　Gentle。〃
　〃He'll　do　us　no　harm。　Go　and　lie　down。〃
　〃Have　you　finished　with　Pie？〃
　〃I　think　I've　learned　what　I　can。　Now　I've　got　to　check　on　the　rest　of　the　Synod。〃
　〃How'11　you　do　that？〃
　〃I'll　leave　my　body　upstairs　and　go　traveling。〃
　〃That　sounds　dangerous。〃
　〃I've　done　it　before。　But　my　flesh　and　blood'll　be　vulnerable　while　I'm　out　of　it。〃
　〃As　soon　as　you're　ready　to　go；　wake　me。　I'll　watch　over　you　like　a　hawk。〃
　〃Have　an　hour's　nap　first。〃
　Clem　picked　up　one　of　the　candles　and　went　to　look　for　a　place　to　lie　down；　leaving　Gentle　to　take　over　his　post　at　the　front　door。　He　sat　on　the　step　with　his　head　laid　against　the　door　frame　and　enjoyed　what　little　breeze　the　night　could　supply。　There　were　no　lamps　working　in　the　street。　It　was　the　light　of　the　moon；　and　the　stars　in　array　around　it；　that　picked　out　the　details　in　the　house　opposite　and　caught　the　pale　undersides　of　the　leaves　when　the　wind　lifted　them。　Lulled；　he　fell　into　a　doze　and　missed　the　shooting　stars。
　
　〃Oh；　how　beautiful；〃　the　girl　said。　She　couldn't　have　been　more　than　sixteen；　and　when　she　laughed；　which　her　beau　had　made　her　do　a　lot　tonight；　she　sounded　even　younger。　But　she　wasn't　laughing　now。　She　was　standing　in　the　darkness　staring　up　at　the　meteor　shower；　while　Sartori　looked　on　admiringly。
　He'd　found　her　three　hours　earlier；　wandering　through　the　Midsummer　Fair　on　Hampstead　Heath；　and　had　easily　charmed　himself　into　her　pany。　The　fair　was　doing　poor　business；　with　so　few　people　out　and　about；　so　when　the　rides　closed　down；　which　they　did　at　the　first　sign　of　dusk；　he　talked　her　into　ing　into　the　City　with　him。　They'd　buy　some　wine；　he　said；　and　wander；　find　a　place　to　sit　and　talk　and　watch　the　stars。　It　was　a　long　time　since　he'd　indulged　himself　in　a　seduction…Judith　had　been　another　kind　of　challenge　entirely…but　the　tricks　of　the　trade　came　back　readily　enough；　and　the　satisfaction　of　watching　her　resistance　crumble；　plus　the　wine　he　imbibed；　did　much　to　assuage　the　pain　of　recent　defeats。
　The　girl…her　name　was　Monica…was　both　lovely　and　pliant。　She　met　his　gaze　only　coyly　at