cb.imajica2-第56章

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〃　He　put　his　hands；　which　were　clean；　on　the　table。　〃It's　only　me；　lovey。〃
　〃Dowd。。。。〃
　〃Ah！　To　be　remembered。　It　seems　such　a　little　thing；　doesn't　it？　But　it's　not。　Really；　it's　not。〃
　The　old　theatricality　was　still　in　his　manner；　but　the　mellifluous　quality　had　gone　from　his　voice。　He　sounded；　and　indeed　looked；　like　a　parody　of　himself；　his　face　a　mask　carved　by　a　hack。
　〃Do　join　us；　lovey；〃　he　said。　〃We're　in　this　together；　after　all。〃
　Startled　as　she　was　to　see　him　（though　hadn't　Oscar　warned　her　that　his　type　was　difficult　to　kill？）　she　didn't　feel　intimidated　by　him。　She'd　seen　his　tricks　and　deceits　and　performances；　she'd　seen　him　hanging　over　an　abyss；　begging　for　life。　He　was　ridiculous。
　〃I　wouldn't　touch　Godolphin；　by　the　way；〃　he　said。
　She　ignored　the　advice　and　went　to　the　table。
　〃His　life's　hanging　by　a　thread；〃　Dowd　went　on。　〃If　he's　moved；　I　swear　his　innards　will　just　drop　out。　My　advice　is　let　him　lie。　Enjoy　the　moment。〃
　〃Enjoy？〃　she　said；　the　revulsion　she　felt　surfacing；　though　she　knew　it　was　exactly　what　the　bastard　wanted　to　hear。
　〃Not　so　loud；　sweetie；〃　Dowd　said；　as　if　pained　by　her　volume。　〃You'll　wake　the　baby。〃　He　chuckled。　〃He　is　a　baby；　really；　pared　to　us。　Such　a　little　life。。。。〃
　〃Why　did　you　do　this？〃
　〃Where　do　I　begin？　With　the　petty　reasons？　No。　With　the　big　one。　I　did　it　to　be　free。〃　He　leaned　in　towards　her；　his　face　a　chiaroscuro　jigsaw　beneath　the　lamp。　〃When　he　breathes　his　last；　lovey…which'H　be　very　soon　now…that's　the　end　of　the　Godolphins。　When　he's　gone；　we're　in　thrall　to　nobody。〃
　〃You　were　free　in　Yzordderrex。〃
　〃No。　On　a　long　leash；　maybe；　but　never　free。　I　felt　his　desires；　I　felt　his　disforts。　A　little　part　of　me　knew　I　should　be　at　home　with　him；　making　his　tea　and　drying　between　his　toes。　In　my　heart；　I　was　still　his　slave。〃　He　looked　at　the　body　again。　〃It　seems　almost　miraculous；　how　he　manages　to　linger。〃
　He　reached　for　the　knife。
　〃Leave　him！〃　she　snapped；　and　he　retreated　with　surprising　alacrity。
　She　leaned　towards　Oscar；　afraid　to　touch　him　for　fear　of　shocking　his　traumatized　system　further　and　stopping　it。　There　were　tics　in　his　face；　and　his　white　lips　were　full　of　tiny　tremors。
　〃Oscar？〃　she　murmured。　〃Can　you　hear　me？〃
　〃Oh；　look　at　you；　lovey；〃　Dowd　cooed。　〃Getting　all　doe…eyed　over　him。　Remember　how　he　used　you。　How　he　oppressed　you。〃
　She　leaned　closer　to　Oscar　and　said　his　name　again。
　〃He　never　loved　either　of　us；〃　Dowd　went　on。　〃We　were　his　goods　and　chattels。　Part　of　his。。。〃
　Oscar's　eyes　flickered　open。
　〃。　。　。　inheritance；〃　Dowd　said；　but　the　word　was　barely　audible。　As　the　eyes　opened；　Dowd　retreated　a　second　step；　covering　himself　in　shadow。
　Oscar's　white　lips　shaped　the　syllables　of　Judith's　name；　but　there　was　no　sound　to　acpany　the　motion。
　〃Oh；　God；〃　she　murmured；　〃can　you　hear　me？　I　want　you　to　know　this　wasn't　all　for　nothing。　I　found　her。　Do　you　understand？　I　found　her。〃
　Oscar　made　a　tiny　nod；　then；　with　agonizing　delicacy；　ran　his　tongue　over　his　lips　and　drew　enough　breath　to　say；　〃It　wasn't　true。。。。〃
　She　caught　the　words；　but　not　their　sense。　〃What　wasn't　true？〃　she　said。
　He　licked　again；　his　face　knotting　up　with　the　effort　of　speech。　This　time　there　was　only　one　word：　〃Inheritance。　。。。〃
　〃Not　an　inheritance？〃　she　said。　〃I　know　that。〃
　He　made　the　very　tiniest　smile；　his　gaze　going　over　her　face　from　brow　to　cheek；　from　cheek　to　lips；　then　back　to　her　eyes；　meeting　them　unabashed。
　〃I。。。　loved　。。。　you；〃　he　said。
　〃I　know　that　too；〃　she　whispered。
　Then　his　gaze　lost　its　clarity。　His　heart　stopped　beating　in　its　bloody　pool；　the　knots　on　his　face　slipped　with　its　cessation。　He　was　gone。　The　last　of　the　Godolphins；　dead　on　the　Tabula　Rasa's　table。
　She　stood　upright；　staring　at　the　cadaver；　though　it　distressed　her　to　do　so。　If　she　was　ever　tempted　to　toy　with　darkness；　let　this　sight　be　a　scourge　to　that　temptation。　There　was　nothing　poetic　or　noble　in　this　scene；　only　waste。
　〃So　there　it　is；〃　Dowd　said。　〃Funny。　I　don't　feel　any　different。　It　may　take　time；　of　course。　I　suppose　freedom　has　to　be　learned；　like　anything　else。〃　She　could　hear　desperation　beneath　this　babble；　barely　concealed。　He　was　in　pain。　〃You　should　know　something；〃　he　said。
〃I　don't　want　to　hear。〃
　〃No；　listen；　lovey；　I　want　you　to　know。。。。　He　did　exactly　this　to　me；　on　this　very　table。　He　gutted　me　in　front　of　the　Society。　Maybe　it's　a　petty　thing；　wanting　revenge；　but　then　I'm　just　an　actor　chappie。　What　do　I　know？〃
　〃You　killed　them　all　for　that？〃
　〃Who？〃
　〃The　Society。〃
　〃No；　not　yet。　But　I'll　get　to　them。　For　us　both。〃
　〃You're　too　late。　They're　already　dead。〃
　This　hushed　him　for　fully　fifteen　seconds。　When　he　began　again；　it　was　more　chatter；　as　empty　as　the　silence　he　wanted　to　fill。
　〃It　was　that　damn　purge；　you　know；　they　made　themselves　too　many　enemies。　There's　going　to　be　a　lot　of　minor　Maestros　crawling　out　of　the　woodwork　in　the　next　few　days。　It's　quite　an　anniversary；　isn't　it？　I'm　going　to　get　stinking　drunk。　What　about　you？　How　will　you　celebrate；　alone　or　with　friends？　This　woman　you　found；　for　instance。　Is　she　the　partying　type？〃
　Jude　silently　cursed　her　indiscretion。
　〃Who　is　she？〃　Dowd　went　on。　〃Don't　tell　me　Clara　had　a　sister。〃　He　laughed。　〃I'm　sorry；　I　shouldn't　laugh；　but　she　was　crazy　as　a　coot；　you　must　see　that　now。　She　didn't　understand　you。　Nobody　understands　you　but　me；　lovey；　and　I　understand　you…〃　'
　〃…because　we're　the　same。〃
　〃Exactly。　We　don't　belong　to　anybody　any　more。　We're　our　own　inventions。　We'll　do　what　we　want；　when　we　want；　and　we　won't　give　a　fuck　for　the　consequences。〃
　〃Is　that　freedom？〃　she　said　flatly；　finally　taking　her　eyes　off　Oscar　and　looking　up　at　Dowd's　misshapen　form。
　〃Don't　try　and　tell　me　you　don't　want　it；〃　Dowd　said。　〃I'm　not　asking　you　to　love　me　for　this；　I'm　not　that　stupid；　but　at　least　admit　it　was　just。〃
　〃Why　didn't　you　murder　him　in　his　bed　years　ago？〃
　〃I　wasn't　strong　enough。　Oh；　I　realize　I　may　not　radiate　health　and　efficiency　just　at　the　moment；　but　I've　changed　a　lot　since　we　last　met。　I've　been　down　among　the　dead。　It　was　very　。。。　educational。　And　while　I　was　down　there；　it　began　to　rain。　Such　a　hard　rain；　lovey；　let　me　tell　you。　I　never　saw　its　like　before。　You　want　to　see　what　fell　on　me？〃
　He　pulled　up　his　sleeve　and　put　his　arm　into　the　pool　of　light。　Here　was　the　reason　for　his　lumpen　appearance。　His　arm；　and　presumably　his　entire　body；　was　a　patchwork；　with　the　flesh　half　sealed　over　fragments　of　stone　which　he'd　slid　into　his　wounds。　She　instantly　recognized　the　iridescence　that　ran　in　the　fragments；　lending　their　glamour　to　his　wretched　meat。　The　rain　that　had　fallen　on　his　head　was　the　sloughings　of　the　Pivot。
　〃You　know　what　it　is；　don't　you？〃
　She　hated　the　ease　with　which　he　read　her　face；　but　there　was　no　use　denying　what　she　knew。
　〃Yes；　I　do；〃　she　said。　〃I　was　in　the　tower　when　it　started　to　collapse。〃
　〃What　a　Godsend；　eh？　It　makes　me　slow；　of　course；　carrying　this　kind　of　weight；　but　after　today　I　won't　be　fetching　and　carrying；　so　what　do　I　care　if　it　takes　me　half　an　hour　to　cross　the　room？　I've　got　power　in　me；　lovey；　and　I　don't　mind　sharing…〃
　He　stopped　and　withdrew　his　arm　from　the　light。
　〃What　was　that？〃
　She'd　heard　nothing；　but　she　did　now：　a　distant　rumbling　from　below。
　〃Whatever　were　you　up　to　down　there？　Not　destroying　the　library；　I　hope。　I　wanted　that　satisfaction　for　myself。　Oh；　dear。　Well；　there'll　be　plenty　of　other　chances　to　play　the　barbarian。　It's　in　the　air；　don't　you　think？〃
　Jude's　thoughts　went　to　Celestine。　Dowd　was　perfectly　capable　of　doing　her　harm。　She　had　to　go　back　down　and　warn　the　Goddess；　perhaps　find　some　means　of　defense。　In　the　meantime；　she'd　play　along。
　〃Where　will　you　go　after　this？〃　she　asked　Dowd；　lightening　her　tone　as　best　she　could。
　〃Back　to　Regent's　Park　Road；　I　thought。　We　can　sleep　in　our　master's　bed。　Oh；　what　am　I　saying？　Please　don't　think　I　want　your　body。　I　know　the　rest　of　the　world　thinks　heaven's　in　your　lap；　but　I've　been　celibate　for　two　hundred　years　and　I've　pletely　lost　the　urge。　We　can　live　as　brother　and　sister；　can't　we？　That　doesn't　sound　so　bad；　now；　does　it？〃
　〃No；〃　she