cb.imajica2-第45章

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e　washed　and　shaved。　Dressed　in　white；　he　looked　like　a　cricketer　returned　from　the　crease；　glowing　with　vigor　and　victory。　She　stared　at　him；　searching　for　some　sign　of　the　haunted　man　he'd　been　the　evening　before；　but　he'd　put　his　anxieties　entirely　out　of　sight；　for　which　she　could　only　admire　him。　More　than　admire。　Tonight　he　was　the　lover　she'd　imagined　as　she'd　lain　in　Quaisoir's　bed；　and　she　couldn't　help　but　be　stirred　by　the　sight　of　him。　Once　before　a　dream　had　led　her　into　his　arms；　and　the　consequence；　of　course；　had　been　pain　and　tears。　It　was　a　form　of　masochism　to　invite　a　repeat　of　that　experience；　and　a　distraction　from　weightier　matters。
　And　yet；　and　yet。　Was　it　perhaps　inevitable　that　they　found　their　way　back　into　one　another's　arms　sooner　or　later？　And　if　it　was；　maybe　this　game　of　glances　was　a　greater　distraction　still；　and　they　would　serve　their　ambitions　better　to　dispense　with　the　dalliance　and　accept　that　they　were　indivisible。　This　time；　instead　of　being　dogged　by　a　past　neither　of　them　had　prehended；　they　knew　their　histories　and　could　build　on　solid　ground。　That　is；　if　he　had　the　will　to　do　so。
　Klein　was　beckoning　her；　but　she　stayed　in　her　bower　of　fake　blossoms；　seeing　how　eager　he　was　to　watch　the　drama　he'd　engineered　unfold。　He；　Luis；　and　Duncan　were　merely　spectators。　The　scene　they'd　e　to　watch　was　the　Judgment　of　Paris；　with　Vanessa；　Simone；　and　herself　cast　as　the　Goddesses；　and　Gentle　as　the　hero　obliged　to　choose　between　them。　It　was　grotesque；　and　she　was　determined　to　keep　herself　from　the　tableau；　instead　wandering　up　to　the　far　end　of　the　garden　while　the　banter　continued　on　the　lawn。　Close　to　the　wall　she　came　upon　a　strange　sight。　A　clearing　had　been　made　in　the　artificial　jungle；　and　a　small　rosebush…real；　but　far　less　sumptuous　than　the　fakery　surrounding　it…had　been　planted　there。　As　she　was　puzzling　over　this；　Luis　appeared　at　her　side　with　a　glass　of　champagne。
　〃One　of　his　cats；〃　Luis　said。　〃Gloriana。　She　was　killed　by　a　car　in　March。　He　was　devastated。　Couldn't　sleep。　Wouldn't　even　talk　to　anybody。　I　thought　he　was　going　to　kill　himself。〃
　〃He's　a　strange　one；〃　Jude　said；　casting　a　glance　back　at　Klein；　who　had　his　arm　around　Gentle's　shoulder　and　was　laughing　uproariously。　〃He　pretends　everything's　a　game…〃
　〃That's　because　he　feels　everything　too　much；〃　Luis　replied。
　〃I　doubt　that；〃　she　said。
　〃I've　been　in　business　with　him　twenty…one；　twenty…two　years。　We　have　fights。　We　make　up。　We　have　fights　again。　He's　a　good　man；　believe　me。　But　so　afraid　of　feeling；　he　must　make　it　all　a　joke。　You're　not　English；　huh？〃
　〃No；　I'm　English。〃
　〃Then　you　understand　this；〃　he　said。　〃You　also　have　the　little　graves；　hidden　away。〃　He　laughed。
　〃Thousands；〃　she　said；　watching　Gentle　step　back　into　the　house。　〃Would　you　excuse　me　a　moment？〃　she　said；　and　headed　back　down　the　garden　with　Luis　in　pursuit。
　Kletn　made　a　move　to　intercept　her；　but　she　simply　handed　him　her　empty　glass　and　went　inside。　Gentle　was　in　the　kitchen；　rooting　through　the　refrigerator；　peeling　the　lids　off　bowls　and　peering　into　them。
　〃So　much　for　invisibility；〃　Jude　said。
　〃Would　you　have　preferred　it　if　I　hadn't　e？〃
　〃Meaning　that　if　I'd　asked　you'd　have　stayed　away？〃
　He　grinned　as　he　found　something　that　suited　his　palate。　〃Meaning；〃　he　said；　〃that　the　rest　of　them　don't　have　a　prayer。　I　came　because　I　knew　you'd　be　here。〃
　He　plunged　his　first　and　middle　fingers　into　the　ramekin　he'd　brought　out　and　laid　a　dollop　of　chocolate　mousse　on　his　tongue。
　〃Want　some？〃　he　said。
　She　hadn't；　until　she　saw　the　abandon　with　which　he　was　devouring　the　stuff。　His　appetite　was　contagious。　She　scooped　a　fingerful　herself。　It　was　sweet　and　creamy。
　〃Good？〃　he　said。
　〃Sinful；〃　she　replied。　〃What　made　you　change　your　mind？〃
　〃About　what？〃
　〃About　hiding　yourself　away。〃
　〃Life's　too　short；〃　he　said；　taking　his　laden　fingers　to　his　mouth　again。　〃Besides；　I　just　said：　I　knew　you'd　be　here。〃
　〃You're　a　mind　reader　now？〃
　〃I'm　flourishing；〃　he　said；　his　grin　more　chocolate　than　teeth。　The　sophisticate　she'd　seen　step　out　into　the　garden　minutes　before　was　here　a　guzzling　boy。
　〃You've　got　chocolate　all　around　your　mouth；〃　she　said。
　〃Do　you　want　to　kiss　it　off？〃　he　replied。
　〃Yes；〃　she　said；　seeing　no　purpose　misrepresenting　her　feeling。　Secrets　had　done　them　too　much　harm　in　the　past。
　〃Then　why　are　we　still　here？〃　he　said。
　〃Klein'Il　never　forgive　us　if　we　leave。　The　party's　in　your　honor。〃
　〃They　can　talk　about　us　when　we've　gone；〃　he　said；　setting　down　the　ramekin　and　wiping　his　mouth　with　the　back　of　his　hand。　〃In　fact；　they'd　probably　prefer　that。　I　say　we　go　now；　before　we're　spotted。　We're　wasting　time　making　conversation…〃
　〃…when　we　could　be　making　love。〃
　〃I　thought　I　was　the　mind　reader；〃　he　said。
　As　they　opened　the　front　door　they　heard　Klein　calling　them　from　the　back；　and　Jude　felt　a　pang　of　guilt；　until　she　remembered　the　proprietorial　look　she'd　caught　on　Klein's　face　when　Gentle　had　first〃appeared　and　he'd　known　that　he　had　the　cast　gathered　for　a　fine　farce。　Guilt　turned　to　irritation；　and　she　slammed　the　front　door　hard　to　make　sure　he　heard。
　
　As　soon　as　they　got　back　to　the　flat　Jude　threw　open　the　windows　to　let　the　breeze；　which　was　still　balmy　though　the　night　had　long　since　fallen；　e　and　go。　News　from　the　streets　outside　came　with　it；　of　course；　but　nothing　momentous：　the　inevitable　sirens；　chatter　from　the　pavement；　jazz　from　the　club　down　the　block。　With　the　windows　wide；　she　sat　down　on　the　bed　beside　Gentle。　It　was　time　for　them　to　speak　without　any　other　agenda　but　the　truth。
　〃I　didn't　think　we'd　end　up　this　way；〃　she　said。　〃Here。　Together。〃
　〃Are　you　glad　we　have？〃
　〃Yes；　I'm　glad；〃　she　said；　after　a　pause。　〃It　feels　right。〃
　〃Good；〃　he　replied。　〃It　feels　perfectly　natural　to　me　too。〃
　He　slid　around　the　back　of　her　and；　threading　his　hands　through　her　hair；　began　to　work　his　fingers　against　her　scalp。　She　sighed。
　〃You　like　that？〃　he　asked。
　〃I　like　that。〃
〃Do　you　want　to　tell　me　how　you　feel？〃
　〃About　what？〃
　〃About　me。　About　us。〃
　〃I　told　you；　it　feels　right。〃
　〃That's　all？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃What　else？〃
　She　closed　her　eyes；　the　persuasive　fingers　almost　easing　the　words　out　of　her。　〃I'm　glad　you're　here　because　I　think　we　can　learn　from　one　another。　Maybe　even　love　each　other　again。　How　does　that　sound？〃
　〃Fine　by　me；〃　he　said　softly。
　〃And　what　about　you？　What's　in　your　head？〃
　〃That　I'd　forgotten　how　strange　this　Dominion　is。　That　I　need　your　help　to　make　me　strong。　That　I'm　afraid　I　may　act　strangely　sometimes；　make　mistakes；　and　I　want　you　to　love　me　enough　to　forgive　me　if　I　do。　Will　you？〃
　〃You　know　I　will；〃　she　said。
　〃I　want　you　to　share　my　visions；　Judith。　I　want　you　to　see　what's　shining　in　me　and　not　be　afraid　of　it。〃
　〃I'm　not　afraid。〃
　〃That's　good　to　hear；〃　he　said。　〃That's　so　very　good。〃　He　leaned　towards　her；　putting　his　mouth　close　to　her　ear。　〃We　make　the　rules　from　now　on；〃　he　whispered。　〃And　the　world　follows。　Yes？　There's　no　law　but　us。　What　we　want。　What　we　feel。　We'll　let　that　consume　us；　and　the　fire'H　spread。　You'll　see。〃
　He　kissed　the　ear　into　which　he'd　poured　these　seductions；　then　her　cheek；　and　finally　her　mouth。　She　started　to　kiss　him　back；　fervently；　putting　her　hands　around　his　head　as　he　had　hers；　kneading　the　flesh　from　which　his　hair　sprang　and　feeling　its　motion　against　his　skull。　He　had　his　hands　on　the　neck　of　her　blouse；　but　he　didn't　bother　to　unbutton　it。　Instead　he　tore　it　open；　not　in　a　frenzy　but　rhythmically；　rent　after　rent；　like　a　ritual　of　uncovering。　As　soon　as　her　breasts　were　bare　his　mouth　was　on　them。　Her　skin　was　hot；　but　his　tongue　was　hotter；　painting　her　with　spiral　tracks　of　spittle；　then　closing　his　mouth　around　her　nipples　until　they　were　harder　than　the　tongue　that　teased　them。　His　hands　were　reducing　her　skirt　to　tatters　in　the　same　efficient　way　he'd　torn　open　her　blouse。　She　let　herself　drop　back　onto　the　bed；　with　the　rags　of　blouse　and　skirt　beneath　her。　He　looked　down　at　her；　laying　his　palm　at　her　crotch；　which　was　still　protected　from　his　touch　by　the　thin　fabric　of　her　underwear。
　〃How　many　men　have　had　this？〃　he　asked　he