cb.imajica2-第33章
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e car。 Once in； the door slammed； she told the driver to get going； and… the car sped from the curb。
On the step Gentle watched the corner where the car turned long after the vehicle had gone from sight； as though some words of peace might yet e to his lips and be carried from them to call her back。 But he was out of persuasions。 Though he'd returned to his place as a Reconciler； he knew he'd here opened a wound he lacked the gift to heal； at least until he'd slept and recovered his faculties。
Forty…five minutes after she'd left Gentle on his doorstep； Jude was throwing open the windows of her house to let in the late…afternoon sun and some fresh air。 The journey from the studio had passed with her scarcely being aware of the fact； so stunned had she been by Gentle's revelation。 Married！ The thought was absurd； except that she couldn't find it in herself to be amused。
Though it was now many weeks since she'd occupied the house （all but the hardiest of her plants had died from loneliness； and she'd forgotten how the percolator and the locks on the windows worked）； it was still a place she felt at home in； and by the time she'd downed a couple of cups of coffee； showered； and changed into some clean clothes； the Dominion from which she'd stepped only hours before was receding。 In the presence of so many familiar sights and smells the strangeness of Yzordderrex wasn't its strength but its frailty。 Without invitation； her mind had already drawn a line between the place she'd left and the one which she was now in； as solid as the division between a thing dreamt and a thing lived。 No wonder Oscar had made a ritual of going up to his treasure room； she thought； and muning with his collection。 It was a way of holding on to a perception that was under constant siege by the monplace。
With several jolts of coffee buzzing around her bloodstream； the fatigue she'd felt on the journey back into the city had disappeared； so she decided to use the evening to visit Oscar's house。 She'd called him several times since she'd got back； but the fact that nobody had answered was not； she knew； proof of his absence or demise。 He'd seldom picked up the telephone in the house…that duty had fallen to Dowd…and more than once he'd stated his abhorrence of the machines。 In paradise； he'd once said； the mon blessed use telegrams and the saints have talking doves； all the telephones are down below。
She left the house at seven or so； caught a cab； and went to Regent's Park Road。 She found the house securely 'locked； without so much as a window standing ajar； which on such a clement evening surely meant there was nobody home。 Just to be sure； she went around to the rear of the house and peered in。 At the sight of her； the three parrots Oscar kept in the back room rose from their perches in alarm。 Nor did they settle； but squawked on in panic as she cupped her hands over her brow and peered in to see if their seed and water bowls were full。 Though their perches were too far from the window for her to see； their level of agitation was enough to make her fear the worst Oscar； she suspected； hadn't soothed their feathers in a long time。 So where was he？ Back at the estate； lying dead in the long grass？ If so； it would be folly to go back there now and look for him； with darkness an hour away at most。 Besides； when she thought back to her last glimpse of him； she was reasonably certain she'd seen him rising to his feet； framed against the door。 He was robust； despite his excesses。 She couldn't believe he was dead。 In hiding； more like： concealing himself from the Tabula Rasa。 With that thought in mind she returned to the front door and scribbled an anonymous note； telling him she was alive and well； and slipped it into the letter box。 He'd know who'd penned it。 Who else would write that the Express had brought her home； safe and sound？
A little after ten…thirty she was preparing for bed when she heard somebody calling her name from the street。 She went to the balcony and looked out to see Clem standing on the pavement below； hollering for all he was worth。 It was many months since they'd spoken； and her pleasure at the sight of him was tinged with guilt at her neglect。 But from the relief in his voice at her appearance； and the fervor of his hug； she knew he hadn't e to squeeze apologies out of her。 He needed to tell her something extraordinary； he said； but before he did （she'd think he was crazy； he warned）； he needed a drink。 Could she get him a brandy？
She could and did。
He fairly guzzled it； then said； 〃Where's Gentle？〃
The question； and his demanding tone； caught her off guard； and she floundered。 Gentle wanted to be invisible； and furious as she was with him； she felt obliged to respect that wish。 But Clem needed to know badly。
〃He's been away； hasn't he？ Klein told me he tried calling； but the phone was cut off。 Then he wrote Gentle a letter； and it was never answered…〃
〃Yes；〃 Jude said。 〃I believe he's been away。〃
〃But he just came back。〃
〃Did he？〃 she replied； more puzzled by the moment。 〃Maybe you know better than I do。〃
〃Not me；〃 he said； pouring himself another brandy。 〃Taylor。〃
〃Taylor？ What are you talking about？〃
Clem downed the liquor。 〃You're going to say I'm crazy； but hear me out； will you？〃
〃I'm listening。〃
〃I haven't been sentimental about losing him。 I haven't sat at home reading his love letters and listening to the songs we danced to。 I've tried to get out and be useful for a change。 But I have left his room the way it was。 I couldn't bring myself to go through his clothes or even strip the bed。 I kept putting it off。 And the more I didn't do it； the more impossible it seemed to be。 Then tonight； I came in just after eight； and I heard somebody talking。〃
Every particle of Clem's body but his lips was still as he spoke； transfixed by the memory。
〃I thought I'd left the radio on； but no； no； I realized it was ing from upstairs； from his bedroom。 It was him； Judy； talking clear as day； calling me up the way he used to。 I was so afraid I almost fled。 Stupid； isn't it？ There I was； praying and praying for some sign he was in God's hands； and as soon as it came I practically shat myself。 I tell you； I was half an hour on the stairs； hoping he'd stop calling me。 And sometimes he did for a while； and I'd half convince myself I'd imagined it。 Then he'd start again。 Nothing melodramatic。 Just him trying to persuade me not to be afraid and e up and say hello。 So； eventually； that's what I did。〃
His eyes were filling with tears； but there was no grief in his voice。
〃He liked that room in the evening。 The sun fills it up。 That's what it was like tonight： full of sun。 And he was there； in the light。 I couldn't see him but I knew he was next to me because he said so。 He told me I looked well。 Then he said； 'It's a glad day； Clem。 Gentle came back； and he's got the answers。' 〃
〃What answers？〃 Jude said。
〃That's what I asked him。 I said； 'What answers； Tay？' But you know Tay when he's happy。 He gets delirious； like a child。〃 Clem spoke with a smile； his gaze on sights remembered from better days。 〃He was so full of the fact that Gentle was back； I couldn't get much more from him。〃
Clem looked up at Jude。
〃The light was going；〃 he said。 〃And I think he wanted to go with it。 He said that it was our duty to help Gentle。 That was why he was showing himself to me this way。 It wasn't easy； he said。 But then neither was being a guardian angel。 And I said； Why only one？ One angel when there's two of us？ And he said； Because we are one； Clem； you and I。 We always were； and we always will be。 Those were his exact words； I swear。 Then he went away。 And you know what I kept thinking？〃
〃What？〃
〃That I wished I hadn't waited on the stairs and wasted all that time I could have had with him；〃 Clem set down his glass； pulled a tissue from his pocket； and blew his nose。 〃That's all；〃 he said。
〃I think that's plenty。〃
〃I know what you're thinking；〃 he said with a little laugh。 〃You're thinking； Poor Clem。 He couldn't grieve so he's having hallucinations。〃
〃No；〃 she said； very softly。 〃I'm thinking； Gentle doesn't know how lucky he is； having angels like you two。〃
〃Don't humor me。〃
〃
