rj.acrownofswords-第57章
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irst time; Egwene wondered just how old she was。 Not a question you asked a Wise One; any more than an Aes Sedai。
〃When I left you; I was one of the Accepted。 You know about the division in the White Tower。〃 Bair shook her head and grimaced; she knew; but she did not understand。 None of them did。 To Aiel; it was as unreal as clan or warrior society dividing against itself。 Perhaps it was also affirmation in their eyes that Aes Sedai were less than they should be。 Egwene went on; surprised that her voice was collected; steady。 〃The sisters who oppose Elaida have raised me as their Amyrlin。 When Elaida is pulled down; I will sit on the Amyrlin Seat; in the White Tower。〃 She added the striped stole to her clothes and waited。 Once she had lied to them; a serious transgression under ji'e'toh; and she was not sure how they would react to learning this truth she had hidden。 If only they believed; at least。 They merely looked at her。
〃There is a thing children do;〃 Melaine said carefully after a time。 Her pregnancy did not show yet; but already she had the inner radiance; making her even more beautiful than usual; and an inward; unshakable calm。 〃Children all want to push spears; and they all want to be the clan chief; but eventually they realize that the clan chief seldom dances the spears himself。 So they make a figure and set it on a rise。〃 Off to one side the floor suddenly mounded up; no longer stone tiles but a ridge of sun…baked brown rock。 Atop it stood a shape vaguely like a man; made of twisted twigs and bits of cloth。 〃This is the clan chief who mands them to dance the spears from the hill where he can see the battle。 But the children run where they will; and their clan chief is only a figure of sticks and rags。〃 A wind whipped the cloth strips; emphasizing the hollowness of the shape; and then ridge and figure were gone。
Egwene drew a deep breath。 Of course。 She had atoned for her lie according to ji'e'toh; by her own choice; and that meant it was as if the lie had never been spoken。 She should have known better。 But they had struck to the heart of her situation as though they had been weeks in the Aes Sedai camp。 Bair studied the floor; not wanting to witness her shame。 Amys sat with chin in hand; sharp blue gaze trying to dig to her heart。
〃Some see me so。〃 Another deep breath; and she pushed the truth out。 〃All but a handful do。 Now。 By the time we finish our battle; they will know I am their chief; and they will run as I say。〃
〃Return to us;〃 Bair said。 〃You have too much honor for these women。 Sorilea already has a dozen young men picked out for you to view in the sweat tents。 She has a great desire to see you make a bridal wreath。〃
〃I hope she will be there when I wed; Bair〃 … to Gawyn; she hoped; that she would bond him; she knew from interpreting her dreams; but only hope and the certainty of love said they would wed … 〃I hope all of you will; but I've made my choice。〃
Bair would have argued further; and Melaine too; but Amys raised a hand; and they fell silent; if not pleased。 〃There is much ji in her decision。 She will bend her enemies to her will; not run from them。 I wish you well in your dance; Egwene al'Vere。〃 She had been a Maiden of the Spear; and often thought as one still。 〃Sit。 Sit。〃
〃Her honor is her own;〃 Bair said; frowning at Amys; 〃but I have another question。〃 Her eyes were an almost watery blue; yet when they turned on Egwene; they were sharp as ever Amys' had been。 〃Will you bring these Aes Sedai to kneel to the Car'a'carn?〃
Startled; Egwene nearly fell the last foot to the floor…stones rather than sitting。 There was no hesitation in her answer; though。 〃I can't do that; Bair。 And would not if I could。 Our loyalty is to the Tower; to the Aes Sedai as a whole; above even the lands we were born in。〃 That was true; or was supposed to be; though she wondered how the claim squared in their minds with her and the others' rebellion。 〃Aes Sedai don't even swear fealty to the Amyrlin; and certainly not to any man。 That would be like one of you kneeling to a clan chief。〃 She made an illustration the way Melaine had; by concentrating on its reality; Tel'aran'rhiod was infinitely malleable if you knew how。 Beyond Callandor three Wise Ones dropped to their knees before a clan chief。 The man strongly resembled Rhuarc; the women the three in front of her。 She only held it for an instant; but Bair glanced at it and sniffed loudly。 The notion was preposterous。
〃Do not pare those women to us。〃 Melaine's green eyes sparkled with something very like their old sharpness; her tone was honed like a razor。
Egwene held her tongue。 The Wise Ones seemed to despise Aes Sedai; all except her; or perhaps better to say they were contemptuous。 She thought they might actually resent the prophecies that linked them to Aes Sedai。 Before she had been summoned by the Hall to be raised Amyrlin; Sheriam and her circle of friends had met here regularly with these three; but that had ended as much because the Wise Ones refused to hide their contempt as because Egwene finally had been called。 In Tel'aran'rhiod; a confrontation with someone more familiar with the place could be mortifying in the extreme。 Even with Egwene; there was a distance now; and certain matters they would not discuss; such as whatever they knew of Rand's plans。 Before; she had been one with them; a student in dreamwalking; after; she was Aes Sedai; even before they learned what she had just told them。
〃Egwene al'Vere will do as she must;〃 Amys said。 Melaine gave her a long look and rearranged her shawl ostentatiously; shifted several long necklaces in a clatter of ivory and gold; but said nothing。 Amys seemed even more the leader than she had been。 The only Wise One Egwene had ever seen make other Wise Ones defer to her so easily was Sorilea。
Bair had imagined tea before her; as it might be in the tents; a golden teapot worked with lions from one country; a silver tray edged in ropework from another; tiny green cups of delicate Sea Folk porcelain。 The tea tasted real; of course; felt real going down。 Despite a hint of some sweet berry or herb she did not recognize; it was too bitter for Egwene's tongue。 She imagined a little honey in it and took another sip。 Too sweet。 A touch less honey。 Now it tasted right。 That was something you could not do with the Power。 Egwene doubted that anyone had the skill to weave threads of saidar fine enough to remove honey from tea。
For a moment she sat peering into her teacup; thinking about honey and tea and fine threads of saidar; but that was not what held her silent。 The Wise Ones wanted to guide Rand no less than Elaida or Romanda or Lelaine; or very likely any other Aes Sedai。 Of course; they only wanted to direct the Car'a'carn in a way that was best for the Aiel; yet those sisters wanted to direct the Dragon Reborn toward what was best for the world; as they saw it。 She did not spare herself。 Helping Rand; keeping him from putting himself at odds with Aes Sedai beyond recovery; those meant guiding him; too。 Only; I'm right; she reminded herself。 Whatever I do is as much for his own good as for anybody else's。 None of the others ever think about what's right for him。 But it was best to remember that these women were more than simply her friends and followers of the Car'a'carn。 No one was ever simply anything; she was learning。
〃I do not think you wished only to tell us you are now a woman chief among the wetlanders;〃 Amys said over her teacup。 〃What troubles your mind; Egwene al'Vere?〃
〃What troubles me is what always does。〃 She smiled to lighten the mood。 〃Sometimes I think Rand is going to give me gray hairs before my time。〃
〃Without men; no woman would have gray hairs。〃 Normally; that would have been a joke on Melaine's tongue; and Bair would have made another over the vast knowledge of men Melaine had gained in just a few months of marriage; but not this time。 All three women simply watched Egwene and waited。
So。 They wished to be serious。 Well; Rand was serious business。 She just wished she could be sure they saw it anything at all the way she did。 Balancing her cup on her fingertips; she told them everyth