rj.acrownofswords-第146章

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　　　〃I　don't　care。　You're　here　now。　You're　here。〃　She　did　not　giggle。
　　　〃Maybe　she　is　Aes　Sedai；〃　one　of　the　boatmen　murmured；　not　quite　low　enough；　〃but　I　still　say　she's　one　duckling　who　means　to　stuff　herself　in　that　wolf's　jaws。〃
　　　Nynaeve's　face　flashed　pure　scarlet；　and　she　snatched　her　hands　to　her　sides；　her　heels　thumping　to　the　deck。　Another　time；　she　would　have　given　the　fellow　what　for；　and　no　mistake。　Another　time；　when　she　could　think。　Lan　crowded　everything　else　out　of　her　head。　She　seized　his　arm。　〃We　can　talk　more　privately　in　the　cabin。〃　Had　one　of　the　oarsmen　snickered？
　　　〃My　sword　and　…　〃
　　　〃I'll　bring　it；〃　she　said；　snatching　up　his　things　from　the　deck　on　flows　of　Air。　One　of　those　louts　had　snickered。　Another　flow　of　Air　pulled　open　the　cabin　door；　and　she　hustled　Lan　and　his　sword　and　the　rest　inside　and　slammed　it　behind　them。
　　　Light；　she　doubted　if　even　Calle　Coplin　back　home　had　ever　been　as　bold　as　this；　and　as　many　merchants'　guards　knew　Calle's　birthmark　as　knew　her　face。　But　it　was　not　the　same　at　all！　Not　at　all！　Still；　no　harm　in　being　just　a　tad　less。。。　eager。　Her　hands　went　back　to　his　face　…　only　to　straighten　his　hair　some　more；　just　that　…　and　he　caught　her　wrists　gently　in　his　big　hands。
　　　〃Myrelle　holds　my　bond；　now；〃　he　said　quietly。　〃She　is　lending　me　to　you　until　you　find　a　Warder　of　your　own。〃
　　　Calmly　pulling　her　right　hand　free；　she　slapped　his　face　as　hard　as　she　could　swing。　His　head　hardly　moved；　so　she　freed　the　other　hand　and　slapped　him　harder　with　that。　〃How　could　you？〃　For　good　measure；　she　punctuated　the　question　with　another　slap。　〃You　knew　I　was　waiting！〃　One　more　seemed　called　for；　just　to　drive　the　point　home。　〃How　could　you　do　such　a　thing？　How　could　you　let　her？〃　Another　slap。　〃Burn　you；　Lan　Mandragoran！　Burn　you！　Burn　you！　Burn　you　to　the　Pit　of　Doom！　Burn　you！〃
　　　The　man　…　the　bloody　man！　…　did　not　say　one　word。　Not　that　he　could；　of　course；　what　defense　could　he　offer？　He　just　stood　there　while　she　rained　blows　at　him；　making　no　move；　unblinking　eyes　looking　peculiar；　as　well　they　might　with　the　way　she　reddened　his　cheeks　for　him。　If　her　slaps　made　little　impression　on　him；　though；　the　palms　of　her　hands　began　to　sting　like　fury。
　　　Grimly；　she　clenched　a　fist　and　punched　him　in　the　belly　with　all　her　might。　He　grunted。　Slightly。
　　　〃We　will　talk　this　over　calmly　and　rationally；〃　she　said；　stepping　back　from　him。　〃As　adults。〃　Lan　just　nodded　and　sat　down　and　pulled　his　boots　over　to　him！　Pushing　bits　of　hair　out　of　her　face　with　her　left　hand；　she　stuck　the　right　behind　her　so　she　could　flex　her　sore　fingers　without　him　seeing。　He　had　no　right　being　that　hard；　not　when　she　wanted　to　hit　him。　Too　much　to　hope　she　had　cracked　a　rib　in　him。
　　　〃You　should　thank　her；　Nynaeve。〃　How　could　the　man　sound　so　calm！　Stamping　his　foot　firmly　into　one　boot；　he　bent　to　pick　up　the　other；　not　looking　at　her。　〃You　wouldn't　want　me　bonded　to　you。〃
　　　The　flow　of　Air　seized　a　handful　of　his　hair　arid　bent　his　head　up　painfully。　〃If　you　dare　…　if　you　even　dare　…　to　spout　that　drivel　about　not　wanting　to　give　me　a　widow's　weeds；　Lan　Mandragoran；　I'll。。。　I'll。。。　〃　She　could　not　think　of　anything　strong　enough。　Kicking　him　was　not　near　enough。　Myrelle。　Myrelle　and　her　Warders。　Burn　him！　Removing　his　hide　in　strips　would　not　be　enough！
　　　He　might　as　well　not　have　been　bent　over　with　his　neck　craned。　He　just　rested　his　forearms　across　his　knees；　and　watched　her　with　that　odd　look　in　his　eyes；　and　said；　〃I　thought　about　not　telling　you；　but　you　have　a　right　to　know。〃　Even　so；　his　tone　became　hesitant；　Lan　was　never　hesitant。　〃When　Moiraine　died　…　when　a　Warder's　bond　to　his　Aes　Sedai　is　snapped　…　there　are　changes。。。　〃
　　　As　he　continued；　her　arms　snaked　around　herself；　hugging　tightly　to　keep　her　from　shivering。　Her　jaw　ached；　for　she　kept　it　clamped　shut。　She　released　the　flow　holding　him　as　if　a　hand　springing　away；　released　saidar；　but　he　only　straightened　and　went　on　relating　this　horror　without　so　much　as　a　flinch；　went　on　watching　her。　Suddenly　she　understood　his　eyes；　colder　than　winter's　heart。　The　eyes　of　a　man　who　knew　he　was　dead　and　could　not　make　himself　care；　a　man　waiting；　almost　eager；　for　that　long　sleep。　Her　own　eyes　stung　with　not　weeping。
　　　〃So　you　see；〃　he　concluded　with　a　smile　that　touched　only　his　mouth；　an　accepting　smile；　〃when　it's　done；　she　will　have　a　year　or　more　of　pain；　and　I　will　still　be　dead。　You　are　spared　that。　My　last　gift　to　you；　Mashiara。〃　Mashiara。　His　lost　love。
　　　〃You　are　to　be　my　Warder　until　I　find　one？〃　Her　voice　startled　her　with　its　levelness。　She　could　not　break　down　in　tears　now。　She　would　not。　Now；　more　than　ever　before；　she　had　to　gather　all　her　strength。
　　　〃Yes；〃　he　said　cautiously；　tugging　on　his　other　boot　He　had　always　seemed　something　of　a　half…tame　wolf；　and　his　eyes　made　him　seem　much　less　than　half　tame　now。
　　　〃Good。〃　Adjusting　her　skirts；　she　resisted　the　urge　to　cross　the　cabin　to　him。　She　could　not　let　him　see　her　fear。　〃Because　I　have　found　him。　You。　I　waited　and　wished　with　Moiraine；　I　won't　with　Myrelle。　She　is　going　to　give　me　your　bond。〃　Myrelle　would；　if　she　had　to　drag　the　woman　to　Tar　Valon　and　back　by　her　hair。　For　that　matter；　she　might　drag　her　just　for　the　principle　of　it。　〃Don't　say　anything；〃　she　said　sharply　when　he　opened　his　mouth。　Her　fingers　brushed　her　belt　pouch；　where　his　heavy　gold　signet　ring　lay　wrapped　in　a　silk　handkerchief。　With　an　effort；　she　moderated　her　tone；　he　was　ill；　and　harsh　words　never　helped　sickness。　It　was　an　effort；　though；　she　wanted　to　berate　him　up　one　side　and　down　the　other；　wanted　to　pull　her　braid　out　by　the　roots　every　time　she　thought　of　him　and　that　woman。　Fighting　to　keep　her　voice　calm；　she　went　on。
　　　〃In　the　Two　Rivers；　Lan；　when　somebody　gives　another　a　ring；　they　are　betrothed。〃　That　was　a　lie；　and　she　half…expected　him　to　jump　to　his　feet　in　outrage；　but　he　only　blinked　warily。　Besides；　she　had　read　about　the　notion　in　a　story。　〃We　have　been　betrothed　long　enough。　We　are　going　to　be　married　today。〃
　　　〃I　used　to　pray　for　that；〃　he　said　softly；　then　shook　his　head。　〃You　know　why　it　can't　be；　Nynaeve。　And　even　if　it　could；　Myrelle　…　〃
　　　Despite　all　her　promises　to　keep　her　temper；　to　be　gentle；　she　embraced　saidar　and　stuffed　a　gag　of　Air　into　his　mouth　before　he　could　confess　what　she　did　not　want　to　hear。　So　long　as　he　did　not　confess；　she　could　pretend　nothing　had　happened。　When　she　got　hold　of　Myrelle；　though！　Opals　pressed　hard　into　her　palm；　and　her　hand　leaped　from　her　braid　as　if　burned。　She　occupied　her　fingers　with　brushing　his　hair　again　while　he　glared　at　her　indignantly　above　his　gaping　mouth。　〃A　small　lesson　for　you　in　the　difference　between　wives　and　other　women；〃　she　said　lightly。　Such　a　struggle。　〃I　would　appreciate　it　very　much　if　you　did　not　mention　Myrelle's　name　again　in　my　presence。　Do　you　understand？〃
　　　He　nodded；　and　she　released　the　flow；　but　as　soon　as　he　had　worked　his　jaw　a　moment；　he　said；　〃Naming　no　names；　Nynaeve；　you　know　she's　aware　of　everything　I　feel；　through　the　bond。　If　we　were　man　and　wife。。。　〃
　　　She　thought　her　face　might　burst　into　flame。　She　had　never　thought　of　that！　Bloody　Myrelle！　〃Is　there　any　way　to　make　sure　she　knows　it　is　me？〃　she　said　finally；　and　her　cheeks　nearly　did　flash　to　fire。　Especially　when　he　fell　back　against　the　cabin　wall　laughing　in　astonishment。
　　　〃Light；　Nynaeve；　you　are　a　hawk！　Light！　I　haven't　laughed　since。。。　〃　His　mirth　faded；　the　coldness　that　had　dimmed　in　his　eyes　for　an　instant　returning。　〃I　do　wish　it　could　be；　Nynaeve；　but　…　〃
　　　〃It　can　and　will；〃　she　broke　in。　Men　always　seemed　to　get　the　upper　hand　if　you　let　them　talk　too　long。　She　plumped　herself　down　on　his　knees。　They　were　not　married　yet；　true；　but　he　was　softer　than　the　unpadded　benches　on　this　boat。　She　shifted　a　bit　to　make　herself　more　fortable。　Well；　no　harder　than　the　benches；　anyway。　〃You　might　as　well　reconcile　yourself；　Lan　Mandragoran。　My　heart　belongs　to　you；　and　you've　admitted　yours　belongs　to　me。　You　belong　to　me；　and　I　will　not　let　you　go。　You　will　be　my　Warder；　and　my　husband；　and　for　a　very　long　time。　I　will