sk.petsematary-第13章

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itory　is　that　which　defines　all　else；　hadn't　he　read　that　in　some　college　history　course？
　　Everything　done；　the　evening　put　neatly　away；　he　went　to　bed。　。　。　but　couldn't　sleep。　There　was　something　else；　something　that　nagged　at　him。　The　last　two　days　went　around　and　around　in　his　head　as　he　listened　to　Rachel　and　Gage　breathing　nearly　in　tandem。　GEN。　PATTON　HANNAH　THE　BEST　DOG　THAT　EVER　LIVED　…。　MARIA　OUR　PET　RABIT。。。　Ellie；　furious。　I　don't　want　Church　to　ever　be　dead！。　。　。　He's　not　God's　cat！
　　Let　God　have　His　own　cat！　Rachel；　equally　furious。　You　as　a　doctor　should　know。　。　。　Norma　Crandall　saying　It　just　seems　like　people　want　to　forget　it　。　。　。　And　Jud；　his　voice　terribly　sure；　terribly　certain；　a　voice　from　another　age：　Sometimes　it　took　supper　with　you　and　sometimes　you　could　feel　it　bite　your　ass。
　　And　that　voice　merged　with　the　voice　of　his　mother；　who　had　lied　to　Louis　Creed　about　sex　at　four　but　told　him　the　truth　about　death　at　twelve；　when　his　cousin　Ruthie　had　been　killed　in　a　stupid　car　accident。　She　had　been　crushed　in　her　father's　car　by　a　kid　who　had　found　the　keys　in　a　Public　Works　Department　payloader　and　decided　to　take　it　for　a　cruise　and　then　found　out　he　didn't　know　how　to　stop　it。　The　kid　suffered　only　minor　cuts　and　contusions；　his　Uncle　Carl's　Fairlane　was　demolished。　She　can't　be　dead；　he　had　replied　in　answer　to　his　mother's　bald　statement。　He　had　heard　the　words；　but　he　couldn't　seem　to　get　the　sense　of　them。　What　do　you　mean；　she's　dead？　What　are　you　talking　about？　And　then；　as　an　afterthought：　Who's　going　to　bury　her？　For　although　Ruthie's　father；　Louis's　uncle；　was　an　undertaker；　he　couldn't　imagine　that　Uncle　Carl　would　possibly　be　the　one　to　do　it。　In　his　confusion　and　mounting　fear；　he　had　seized　upon　this　as　the　most　important　question。　It　was　a　genuine　conundrum；　like　who　cut　the　town　barber's　hair。
　　I　imagine　that　Donny　Donahue　will　do　it；　his　mother　replied。　Her　eyes　were　red…rimmed；　most　of　all　she　had　looked　tired。　His　mother　had　looked　almost　ill　with　weariness。
　　He's　your　uncle's　best　pal　in　the　business。　Oh；　but　Louis。
　　Sweet　little　Ruthie。　。　。　I　can't　stand　to　think　she　suffered　pray　with　me。　will　you；　Louis？　Pray　with　me　for　Ruthie。　I　need　you　to　help　me。
　　So　they　had　gotten　down　on　their　knees　in　the　kitchen；　he　and　his　mother；　and　they　prayed；　and　it　was　the　praying　that　finally　brought　it　home　to　him；　if　his　mother　was　praying　for　Ruthie　Creed's　soul；　then　it　meant　that　her　body　was　gone。　Before　his　closed　eyes　rose　a　terrible　image　of　Ruthie　ing　to　his　thirteenth　birthday　party　with　her　decaying　eyeballs　hanging　on　her　cheeks　and　blue　mould　growing　in　her　red　hair；　and　this　image　provoked　not　just　sickening　horror　but　an　awful　doomed　love。
　　He　cried　out　in　the　greatest　mental　agony　of　his　life；　〃She　can't　be　dead！　MOMMA；　SHE　CAN'T　BE　DEAD…I　LOVE　HER！〃
　　And　his　mother's　reply；　her　voice　flat　and　yet　full　of　images：　dead　fields　under　a　November　sky；　scattered　rose　petals　brown　and　turning　up　at　the　edges；　empty　pools　scummed　with　algae；　rot；　deposition；　dust：
　　She　is；　my　darling。　I'm　sorry；　but　she　is。　Ruthie　is　gone。
　　Louis　shuddered；　thinking；　Dead　is　dead…what　else　do　you　need？
　　Suddenly　Louis　knew　what　it　was　he　had　forgotten　to　do；　why　he　was　still　awake　on　this　night　before　the　first　day　of　his　new　job；　hashing　over　old　griefs。
　　He　got　up；　headed　for　the　stairs；　and　suddenly　detoured　down　the　hall　to　Ellie's　room。　She　was　sleeping　peacefully；　mouth　open；　wearing　her　blue　baby…doll　pajamas　that　she　had　really　outgrown。　My　God；　Ellie；　he　thought；　you're　sprouting　like　corn。　Church　lay　between　her　splayed　ankles；　also　dead　to　the　world。　You　should　pardon　the　pun。
　　Downstairs　there　was　a　bulletin　board　on　the　wall　by　the　phone　with　various　messages；　memos；　and　bills　tacked　to　it。　Written　across　the　top　in　Rachel's　neat　caps　was　THINGS　TO　PUT　OFF　AS　LONG　AS　POSSIBLE。　Louis　got　the　telephone　book；　looked　up　a　number；　and　jotted　it　on　a　blank　memo　sheet。　Below　the　number　he　wrote：　Quentin　L。　Jolander；　D。V。M。…call　for　appointment　re　Church…if　Jolander　doesn't　neuter　animals；　he　will　refer。
　　He　looked　at　the　note；　wondering　if　it　was　time；　knowing　that　it　was。　Something　concrete　had　to　e　out　of　all　this　bad　feeling；　and　he　had　decided　sometime　between　this　morning　and　tonight…without　even　knowing　he　was　deciding…　that　he　didn't　want　Church　crossing　the　road　anymore　if　he　could　help　it。
　　His　old　feelings　on　the　subject　rose　up　in　him；　the　idea　that　neutering　would　lessen　the　cat；　would　turn　him　into　a　fat　old　torn　before　his　time；　content　to　just　sleep　on　the　radiator　until　someone　put　something　into　his　dish。　He　didn't　want　Church　like　that。　He　liked　Church　the　way　he　was；　lean　and　mean。
　　Outside　in　the　dark；　a　big　semi　droned　by　on　Route　15；　and　that　decided　him。　He　tacked　the　memo　up　and　went　to　bed。
　　　11
　　The　next　morning　at　breakfast；　Ellie　saw　the　new　memo　on　the　bulletin　board　and　asked　him　what　it　meant。
　　〃It　means　he's　going　to　have　a　very　small　operation；〃　Louis　said。　〃He'll　probably　have　to　stay　over　at　the　vet's　for　one　night　afterward。　And　when　he　es　home；　he'll　stay　in　our　yard　and　not　want　to　roam　around　so　much。〃
　　〃Or　cross　the　road？〃　Ellie　asked。
　　She　may　be　only　five；　Louis　thought；　but　she's　sure　no　slouch。　〃Or　cross　the　road；〃　he　agreed。
　　〃Yay！〃　Ellie　said；　and　that　was　the　end　of　the　subject。
　　Louis；　who　had　been　prepared　for　a　bitter　and　perhaps　hysterical　argument　about　Church　being　out　of　the　house　for　even　one　night；　was　mildly　stunned　by　the　ease　with　which　she　had　acquiesced。　And　he　realized　how　worried　she　must　have　been。　Perhaps　Rachel　had　not　been　entirely　wrong　about　the　effect　the　Pet　Sematary　had　had　on　her。
　　Rachel　herself；　who　was　feeding　Gage　his　breakfast　egg；　shot　him　a　grateful　approving　look；　and　Louis　felt　something　loosen　in　his　chest。　The　look　told　him　that　the　chill　was　over；　this　particular　hatchet　had　been　buried。　Forever；　he　hoped。
　　Later；　after　the　big　yellow　school　bus　had　gobbled　Ellie　up　for　the　morning；　Rachel　came　to　him；　put　her　arms　around　his　neck；　and　kissed　his　mouth　gently。　〃You　were　very　sweet　to　do　that；〃　she　said；　〃and　I'm　sorry　I　was　such　a　bitch。〃
　　Louis　returned　her　kiss；　feeling　a　little　unfortable　nonetheless。　It　occurred　to　him　that　the　I'm　sorry！　was　such　a　bitch　statement；　while　by　no　means　a　standard；　was　not　exactly　something　he'd　never　heard　before　either。　It　usually　came　after　Rachel　had　gotten　her　way。
　　Gage；　meanwhile；　had　toddled　unsteadily　over　to　the　front　door　and　was　looking　out　the　lowest　pane　of　glass　at　the　empty　road。　〃Bus；〃　he　said；　hitching　nonchalantly　at　his　sagging　diapers。　〃Ellie…bus。〃
　　〃He's　growing　up　fast；〃　Louis　said。
　　Rachel　nodded。　〃Too　fast　to　suit　me；　I　think。〃
　　〃Wait　until　he's　out　of　diapers；〃　Louis　said。　〃Then　he　can　stop。'；
　　She　laughed；　and　it　was　all　right　between　them　again…　pletely　all　right。　She　stood　back；　made　a　minute　adjustment　to　his　tie；　and　looked　him　up　and　down　critically。
　　〃Do　I　pass　muster；　Sarge？〃　he　asked。
　　〃You　look　very　nice。〃
　　〃Yeah；　I　know。　But　do　I　look　like　a　heart　surgeon？　A　two…hundred…thousand…dollar…a…year　man？〃
　　〃No；　just　old　Lou　Creed；〃　she　said　and　giggled。　〃The　rock…and…roll　animal。〃
　　Louis　glanced　at　his　watch。　〃The　rock…and…roll　animal　has　got　to　put　on　his　boogie　shoes　and　go；〃　he　said。
　　〃Are　you　nervous？〃
　　〃Yeah；　a　little。〃
　　〃Don't　be；〃　she　said。　〃It's　sixty…seven　thousand　dollars　a　year　for　putting　on　Ace　bandages；　prescribing　for　the　flu　and　for　hangovers；　giving　girls　the　pill…〃
　　〃Don't　forget　the　crab…and…louse　lotion；〃　Louis　said；　smiling　again。　One　of　the　things　that　had　surprised　him　on　his　first　tour　of　the　infirmary　had　been　the　supplies　of　Quell；　which　seemed　to　him　enormous…more　fitted　to　an　army　base　infirmary　than　to　one　on　a　middle…sized　university　campus。
　　Miss　Charlton；　the　head　nurse；　had　smiled　cynically。　〃Off　campus　apartments　in　the　area　are　pretty　tacky。　You'll　see。　〃
　　He　supposed　he　would。　
　　〃Have　a　good　day；〃　she　said　and　kissed　him　again；　lingeringly。　But　when　she　pulled　away；　she　was　mock…stem。　〃And　for　Christ's　sake　remember　that　you're　an　administrator；　not