cpatricia.blacknotice-第54章

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d　flying　a　helicopter　and　programming　puters。　I　envisioned　her　as　the　irritating；　irrepressible　child　I　had　virtually　raised。。　Marino　was　right。　Lucy　thought　she　had　so　much　to　prove。　Her　first　impulse　had　always　been　to　fight。
　　〃I　didn't　think　they　really　believed　me；〃　she　said。　〃So　I　turn　to　Jo。　I'll　never　forget　the　look　in　her　eyes；　the　pistol　barrel　right　against　her　temple。　Her　eyes。〃　She　paused。　〃They're　so　calm　as　she　looks　in　mine　because　。　。　。〃
　　Her　voice　shook。
　　〃Because　she　wants　me　to　know　she　loves　me　。　。　。〃　Lucy　chokes　on　sobs。　〃She　loves　me！　She　wants　me　to　know　because　she　believes　。　。　：〃　Her　voice　went　up　and　stopped。　〃She　believes　we're　going　to　die。　And　that's　when　I　start　yelling　at　her。　I　call　her　a　stupid　fucking　bitch　and　slap　her　face　so　hard　my　hand　goes　numb。
　　〃And　she　just　looks　at　me　as　if　I'm　all　there　is；　blood　trickling　out　of　her　nose　and　the　sides　of　her　mouth；　a　red　river　down　her　face；　dripping　off　her　chin。　She　didn't　even　cry。　She's　out　of　the　story；　lost　her　role；　her　training；　everything　she　damn　well　knows　what　to　do。　I　grab　her。　I　shove　her　hard　to　the　ground　and　get　on　top　of　her；　swearing　and　slapping　and　yelling。〃
　　She　wiped　her　eyes　and　stared　straight　ahead。
　　〃And　what's　so　awful；　Aunt　Kay；　is　part　of　it's　real。　I'm　so　angry　with　her　for　quitting　on　me；　for　just　giving　up。　She　was　going　to　just　give　up　and　die；　goddamn　it！〃
　　〃Like　Benton　did；〃　I　quietly　said。
　　Lucy　wiped　her　face　on　her　shirt。　She　didn't　seem　to　hear　what　I'd　said。
　　〃I'm　so　fucking　tired　of　people　giving　up　and　leaving　me；〃　she　said　in　a　shattered　voice。　〃When　I　need　them　and　they　fucking　give　up！〃
　　〃Benton　didn't　give　up；　Lucy。〃
　　〃I　just　keep　swearing　at　Jo；　screaming　and　hitting　her　and　telling　her　I'm　going　to　kill　her　as　I　straddle　her；　shaking　her　by　her　hair。　It　wakes　her　up；　maybe　even　pisses　her　off；　too；　and　she　starts　fighting　back。　Calls　me　a　Cuban　cunt　and　spits　blood　in　my　face；　punches　me；　and　by　this　time　the　guys　are　laughing　and　whistling　and　grabbing　their　crotches　。　。　：　'
　　She　took　another　long　breath　and　shut　her　eyes；　barely　able　to　sit　up。　She　leaned　against　my　legs；　firelight　playing　on　her　strong；　beautiful　face。
　　〃She　starts　really　struggling。　My　knees　are　so　tight　against　her　sides　I'm　surprised　I　didn't　break　her　ribs；　and　while　we're　going　at　each　other　like　that；　I　tear　open　her　shirt；　and　this　really　gets　the　guys　going　and　they　don't　see　me　grab　my　gun　out　of　my　ankle　holster。　I　start　firing。　I　just　fire。　Fire。　Fire。　Fire。　Fire　。　。　：'　Her　voice　trailed　off。
　　I　bent　over　and　put　my　arms　around　her。
　　〃You　know？　I'm　wearing　those　wide…legged　street　jeans　to　hide　my　Sig。　They　say　I　fired　eleven　rounds。　I　don't　even　remember　dropping　the　empty　magazine；　putting　in　a　full　one。　Racking　it　back。　Agents　are　everywhere　and　somehow　I'm　dragging　Jo　out　the　door。　And　she's　bleeding　heavily　from　her　head。〃
　　Lucy's　lower　lip　trembled　as　she　tried　to　go　on；　her　voice　far　away。　She　wasn't　here。　She　was　there；　living　it　again。
　　〃Fire。　Fire。　Fire。　Her　blood　on　my　hands。〃
　　Her　voice　rose　to　God。
　　〃I　hit　her　and　hit　her。　I　can　still　feel　the　sting　of　her　cheek　against　the　palm　of　my　hand。〃
　　She　looked　at　her　hand　as　if　it　should　be　put　to　death。
　　〃I　felt　it。　How　soft　her　skin　was。　And　she　bled。　I　made　her　bleed。　The　skin　I　had　touched　and　loved。　I　drew　blood　from　it。　Then　the　guns；　the　guns；　the　guns；　and　smoke　and　ringing　in　my　ears　and　it's　a　blaze　when　it　happens　like　that。　It's　over　and　never　started。　I　knew　she　was　dead。〃
　　She　bowed　her　head　and　wept　quietly；　and　I　stroked　her　hair。
　　〃You　saved　her　life。　And　you　saved　yours；〃　I　finally　said。　〃Jo　knows　what　you　did　and　why　you　did　it；　Lucy。　She　should　love　you　all　the　more。〃
　　〃I'm　in　trouble　this　time；　Aunt　Kay；〃　she　said。
　　〃You're　a　hero。　That's　what　you　are。〃
　　〃No。　You　don't　understand。　It　doesn't　matter　if　it　was　a　good　shooting。　It　doesn't　matter　ifATF　gives　me　a　medal：〃
　　She　sat　up　and　got　to　her　feet。　She　stared　down　at　me　with　defeat　in　her　eyes　and　another　emotion　I　didn't　recognize。　Maybe　it　was　grief。　She'd　never　shown　grief　when　Benton　was　murdered。　All　I'd　ever　seen　was　rage。
　　〃The　bullet　they　took　out　of　her　leg？　It's　a　Hornady　Custom　Jacketed　hollowpoint。　Ninety　grains。　What　I　had　in　my　gun。〃
　　I　didn't　know　what　to　say。
　　〃I'm　the　one　who　shot　her；　Aunt　Kay。〃
　　〃Even　if　you　did。　：　。〃
　　〃What　if　she　never　walks　again　。　。　。　？　What　if　she's　finished　in　law　enforcement　because　of　me？〃
　　〃She　won't　be　jumping　out　of　helicopters　anytime　soon；〃　I　said。　〃But　she's　going　to　be　fine。〃
　　〃What　if　I　permanently　damaged　her　face　with　my　fucking　fist？〃
　　〃Lucy；　listen　to　me；〃　I　said。　〃You　saved　her　life。　If　you　killed　two　people　to　do　that；　then　so　be　it。　You　had　no　choice。　It's　not　that　you　wanted　to：'
　　〃The　hell　I　didn't；'　she　said。　〃I　wish　I'd　killed　all　of　them。〃
　　〃You　don't　mean　that：'
　　〃Maybe　I'll　just　be　a　mercenary　soldier；〃　she　bitterly　said。　〃Got　any　murderers；　rapists；　carjackers；　pedophiles；　drug　dealers　you　need　to　get　rid　of？　Just　call　one…eighthundred…L…U…C…Y〃
　　〃You　can't　bring　Benton　back　through　killing。〃
　　Still；　it　was　as　if　she　didn't　hear　me。
　　〃He　wouldn't　want　you　to　feel　this　way；〃　I　said。
　　The　telephone　rang。
　　〃He　didn't　abandon　you；　Lucy。　Don't　be　angry　with　him　because　he　died。〃
　　The　phone　rang　a　third　time；　and　she　couldn't　restrain　herself。　She　grabbed　it；　unable　to　hide　the　hope　and　fear　in　her　eyes。　I　couldn't　bring　myself　to　tell　her　what　Dr。　Worth　had　told　me。　Now　was　not　the　time。
　　〃Sure；　hold　on；〃　she　said；　and　disappointment　and　more　hurt　touched　her　face　as　she　handed　me　the　phone。
　　〃Yes；〃　I　reluctantly　answered。
　　〃Is　this　Dr。　Kay　Scarpetta？〃　an　unfamiliar　male　voice　asked。
　　〃Who　is　this？〃
　　〃It's　important　I　verify　who　you　are。〃　The　accent　was　American。
　　〃If　you're　another　reporter。　。　：'
　　〃I'm　going　to　give　you　a　phone　number。〃
　　〃I'm　going　to　give　you　a　promise；〃　I　said。　〃Tell　me　who　you　are；　or　I'm　hanging　up。〃
　　〃Let　me　give　you　this　number；〃　and　he　began　reciting　it　before　I　could　refuse。
　　I　recognized　the　country　code　for　France。
　　〃It's　three　o'clock　in　the　morning　in　France；〃　I　said；　as　if　he　didn't　know。
　　〃It　doesn't　matter　what　time　it　is。　We　have　been　getting　information　from　you　and　running　it　through　our　puter　system。〃
　　〃Not　from　me。〃
　　〃No；　not　in　the　sense　that　you　typed　it　into　the　puter；　Dr。　Scarpetta〃
　　His　voice　was　baritone　and　smooth；　like　fine　polished　wood。
　　〃I'm　at　the　secretariat　in　Lyon；〃　he　informed　me。　〃Call　the　number　I　gave　you　and　at　least　get　our　after…hours　voice　mail。〃
　　〃How　much　sense　does　that　。　。　。　？〃
　　〃Please。〃
　　I　hung　up　and　tried；　and　a　recording　of　a　woman　with　a　heavy　French　accent　said　〃Bonjour；　hello；〃　and　gave　the　office　hours　in　both　languages。　I　entered　the　extension　he　had　given　me；　and　the　man's　voice　came　back　over　the　line。
　　〃Bonjour；　hello？　And　that's　supposed　to　identify　who　you　are？〃　I　said。　〃You　could　be　a　restaurant　for　all　I　know。〃
　　〃Please　fax　me　a　sheet　of　your　letterhead。　When　I　see　that　I'll　fill　you　in。〃
　　He　gave　me　the　number。　I　put　him　on　hold　and　went　back　to　my　study。　I　faxed　a　sheet　of　my　stationery　to　him　while　Lucy　remained　in　front　of　the　fire；　elbow　on　her　knee；　chin　in　her　hand；　listless。
　　〃My　name's　Jay　Talley；　the　ATF　liaison　at　Interpol；〃　he　said　when　I　got　back　with　him。　〃We　need　you　to　e　here　right　away。　You　and　Captain　Marino。〃
　　〃I　don't　understand；〃　I　said。　〃You　should　have　my　reports。　I　have　nothing　more　to　add　to　them　at　this　time。〃
　　〃We　wouldn't　ask　you　if　it　wasn't　important。〃
　　〃Marino　doesn't　have　a　passport；〃　I　said。
　　〃He　went　to　the　Bahamas　three　years　ago。〃
　　I　had　forgotten　that　Marino　had　taken　one　of　his　many　bad　choices　in　women　on　a　three…day　cruise。　Their　relationship　didn't　last　much　longer　than　that。
　　〃I　don't　care　how　important　this　is；〃　I　said。　〃There's　no　way　I'm　getting　on　a　plane　and　flying　to　France　when　I　don't　know　what　。　。　。〃
　　〃Hold　on　a　second；〃　he　cut　in；　politely　but　with　authority。　〃Senator　Lord？　Sir；　are　you　there？〃
　　〃I'm　here。〃
　　〃