anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第51章
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I paced the floor； my heart aching for her； and my soul hurting for myself that this had fallen to me。 It seemed a terrible justice for my slaughter of Eudoxia。 Indeed this child seemed some phantom risen from Eudoxia's ashes to haunt me as I tried to plan my escape from what I'd done。
Finally； I quietly sent out my call to Avicus and Mael。 Using my strongest Mind Gift； I urged them； no； manded them； to e to me at Eudoxia's house and to let nothing keep them from it。 I told them I needed them and I would wait until they arrived。
Then I sat down beside my young captive and I did what I had been wanting to do all along： I moved her heavy black hair back behind her shoulders and I kissed her soft cheeks。 These were rapacious kisses and I knew it。 But the texture of her baby soft skin and of her thick wavy hair drove me to quiet madness； and I wouldn't stop。
This intimacy startled her but she did nothing to drive me away。
〃Did Eudoxia suffer？〃 she asked me。
〃Very little； if at all；〃 I said。 I drew back from kissing her。 〃But tell me why she didn't simply try to destroy me；〃 I said。 〃Why did she invite me here？ Why did she talk with me？ Why did she give me some hope that we could e to an understanding of the mind？〃
She pondered this before she answered。
〃You held a fascination for her；〃 said Zenobia； 〃which others had not。 It wasn't only your beauty though that was a large part of it。 Always for her a large part of it。 She said to me that she had heard tell of you from a woman blood drinker in Crete long ago。〃
I dared not interrupt her！ I stared with wide eyes。
〃Many years ago；〃 she said； 〃this Roman blood drinker had e to the isle of Crete； wandering； looking for you； and speaking of you… Marius； the Roman； Patrician by birth； scholar by choice。 The woman blood drinker loved you。 She didn't challenge the claim of Eudoxia to all of the island。 She searched only for you； and when she found that you weren't there； she moved on。〃
I couldn't speak！ I was so miserable and so excited that I couldn't answer her。 It was Pandora！ And this was the first that I had heard of her in three hundred years。
〃Don't weep over this；〃 she said gently。 〃It happened in ages past。 Surely time can take away such love。 What a curse if it can't。〃
〃It can't。〃 I said。 My voice was thick。 The tears were in my eyes。 〃What more did she say？ Tell me； please； the tiniest things you might remember。〃 My heart was knocking in my chest。 Indeed it seemed as if I'd forgotten that I had a heart and must now find out。
〃What more。 There is no more。 Only that the woman was powerful and no easy enemy。 You know Eudoxia always spoke of such things。 The woman could not be destroyed； nor would she tell the origin of her great strength。 To Eudoxia it was a mystery…until you came to Constantinople； and she saw you； Marius； the Roman； in your brilliant red robes； moving through the square at evening； pale as marble； yet with all the conviction of a mortal man。〃
She paused。 She put her hand up to touch the side of my face。
〃Don't cry。 Those were her words： 'with all the conviction of a mortal man。' 〃
〃How then did you learn of the Mother and the Father？〃 I asked； 〃and what do such words mean to you？〃
〃She spoke of them in amazement；〃 she said。 〃She said you were rash if not mad。 But you see； she would go one way and then the other； that was always in her nature。 She cursed you that the Mother and the Father were in this very city； and yet she wanted to bring you here to her house。 On account of this； I had to be hidden。 Yet she kept the boys for whom she cared so little。 And I was put away。〃
〃And the Mother and the Father？〃 I asked。 〃Do you know what they are？〃
She shook her head。 〃Only that you have them； or had them when she spoke of it。 Are they the First of us？〃
I didn't answer her。 But I believed her； that this was all she knew； extreme as it was。
And now I did penetrate her mind； calling on my power to know her past and present； to know her most secret and casual thoughts。
She looked at me with clear unquestioning eyes； as if she felt what I was doing to her； or trying to do； and it seemed that she would not hold anything back。
But what did I learn？ Only that she had told me the truth。 I know no more of your beautiful blood drinker。 She was patient with me； and then there came a wave of true grief。 I loved Eudoxia。 You destroyed her。 And now you cannot leave me alone。
I stood up and went again to walking about the room。 It's sumptuous
Byzantine furnishings stifled me。 The thick patterned hangings seemed to fill the air with dust。 And nowhere could I glimpse the night sky from this chamber； for we were too far from the inner garden court。
But what did I want just now？ Only to be free of this creature； no； free of the whole knowledge of her； of the whole awareness of her； free of ever having seen her； and that was quite impossible； was it not？
Suddenly a sound interrupted me and I realized that at last Avicus and Mael had e。
They found their way through the many rooms to the bedchamber； and as both of them entered； they were astonished to see the gorgeous young woman seated on the side of the immense heavily draped bed。
I stood silent while the two of them absorbed the shock。 Immediately
Avicus was drawn to Zenobia； as drawn to her as he had been to Eudoxia； and this creature had yet to speak a single word。
In Mael I saw suspicion and a bit of concern。 He looked to me searchingly。 He was not spellbound by the young woman's beauty。 His feelings were under his mand。
Avicus drew near to Zenobia； and as I watched him； as I watched his eyes fire with a passion for her； I saw my way out。 I saw it plainly； and when I did； I felt a terrible regret。 I felt my solemn vow to be alone weigh heavily upon me； as if I had taken it in the name of a god； and perhaps I had。 I had taken it in the name of Those Who Must Be Kept。 But there must be no more thoughts of them now； not in Zenobia's presence。
As for the child woman herself； she was far more drawn to Avicus； perhaps because of his immediate and obvious devotion； than she was to the distant and somewhat suspicious Mael。
〃Thank you for ing；〃 I said。 〃I know it was not your choice to set foot in this house。〃
〃What's happened？〃 Mael asked。 〃Who is this creature？〃
〃The panion of Eudoxia； sent away for her own protection until the battle with us could be finished； and now that it is finished； here is the child。〃
〃Child？〃 asked Zenobia gently。 〃I am no child。〃
Avicus and Mael both smiled indulgently at her； though her look was grave and disapproving。
〃I was as old as Eudoxia；〃 she said； 〃when the Blood was given to her。 'Never make a blood drinker of a greater age；' said Eudoxia。 'For a greater mortal age can only lead to misery later on from habits learned in mortal life。' All of Eudoxia's slaves received the Blood at my age； and were therefore no longer children； but blood drinkers prepared for eternal life within the Blood。〃
I said nothing to this； but I never forgot it。 Mark me。 I never forgot it。 Indeed； there came a time a thousand years after； when these words meant a great deal to me； and they came to haunt my nights and to torture me。 But we will e soon enough to that； for I mean to pass over that thousand years very quickly。 But let me return to my tale。
This little speech from Zenobia was spoken tenderly as all her words had been spoken； and when she finished it I could see that Avicus was charmed。 This did not mean that he would love her pletely or forever； mind you； I knew that。 But I could see that there was no barrier between the child and himself。
He drew closer still and seemed at a loss to express his respect for her beauty； and then； surprising me pletely； he spoke to her：
〃My name is Avicus；〃 he said。 〃I am a long…time friend of Marius。〃 Then he looked at me； and then back to Zenobia。 He asked： 〃Are you alone？〃
〃Quite alone；〃 said Zenobia； though she did glance at me first to see if I meant to silence her； 〃and if you … all of you or perhaps one of you … do not take me with you out
