anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第104章
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you。〃
〃This is true；〃 I said。 〃I suffer； and I suffer for one has done me wrong and I have no vengeance nor justice。 But let's not speak of such things。 I would be alone now。〃
A silence fell between us。 It was time for me to go but I had not the strength quite yet to do it。
Had I given him the usual purse？ I must do it now。 I reached inside my tunic and brought it out。 I laid it down； and spilled the golden coins so that I might see them in the light of the candle。
Some vague and heated thoughts formed in my mind to do with Amadeo and the brilliance of this gold and of how angry I was； and of how I seethed for vengeance against Santino。 I saw ikons with their halos of gold； I saw the coin of the Talamasca made of gold。 I saw the golden florins of Florence。
I saw the golden bracelets once worn by Pandora on her beautiful naked arms。 I saw the golden bracelets which I had put upon the arms of Akasha。
Gold and gold and gold。
And Amadeo had chosen ashes！
Well； I shall find Pandora once more； I thought。 I shall find her！ And only if she swears against me will I let her go； will I let her remain with this mysterious panion。 Oh； I trembled as I thought of it； as I vowed； as I whispered these wordless thoughts。
Pandora； yes！ And some night； for Amadeo； there would be the reckoning with Santino！
A long silence ensued。
The priest beside me was not frightened。 I wondered if he could possibly guess how grateful I was that he allowed me to remain there in such precious stillness。
At last； I ran my left fingers over the golden coins。
〃Is there enough there for flowers？〃 I asked； 〃flowers and trees and beautiful plants in your garden？〃
〃There is enough there to endow our gardens forever；〃 he answered。
〃Ah forever！〃 I said。 〃I have such a love of that word； forever。〃
〃Yes； it is a timeless word；〃 he said； raising his mossy eyebrows as he looked at me。 〃Time is ours； but forever belongs to God； don't you think？〃
〃Yes； I do；〃 I said。 I turned to face him。 I smiled at him； and I saw the warm impression of this on him just as if I'd spoken kind words to him。 He couldn't conceal it。
〃You've been good to me；〃 I said。
〃Will you write to your friend again？〃 he asked。
〃Not from here；〃 I answered。 〃It's too dangerous for me。 From some other place。 And I beg you； forget these things。〃
He laughed in the most honest and simple way。 〃Forget！〃 he said。
I rose to go。
〃You shouldn't have read the letter；〃 I said。 〃It can only cause you worry。〃
〃I had to do it；〃 he answered。 〃Before I gave it to you。〃
〃I cannot imagine why；〃 I answered。 I walked quietly towards the door of the scriptorium。
He came beside me。
〃And so you go then； Marius？〃 he asked。
I turned around。 I lifted my hand in farewell。
〃Yes； neither angel nor devil； I go；〃 I said； 〃neither good nor bad。 And I thank you。〃
As I had before； I went from him so swiftly he couldn't see it； and very soon I was alone with the stars； and staring down on that valley all too near to the chapel where a city was forming at the foot of my high cliff which had been neglected by all mankind for over a millennium。
28
I WAITED ALONG TIME before showing the letter to Bianca。 I never really concealed it from her； for I thought such a thing was dishonest。 But as she did not ask me the meaning of the pages which I kept with my few personal belongings； I did not explain them to her。
It was too painful for me to share my sorrow with regard to Amadeo。 And as for the existence of the Talamasca； it was too bizarre a tale； and too fully interwoven with my love for Pandora。
But I did leave Bianca alone in the shrine more and more often。 Never of course did I abandon her there in the early part of the evening when she depended upon me totally to reach those places where we might hunt。 On the contrary； I always took her with me。
It was later in the night…after we had fed…that I would return her to safety and go off alone； testing the limits of my powers。
All the while a strange thing was happening to me。 As I drank from the Mother my vigor increased。 But I also learned what all injured blood drinkers learn…that in healing I was being stronger than I had been before my injury。
Of course I gave Bianca my own blood； but as I grew ever stronger the gap between us became very great and I saw it widening。
There were times； of course； when I put the question in my prayers as to whether Akasha would receive Bianca。 But it seemed that the answer was no； and so in fear I didn't dare to test it。
I remembered only too well the death of Eudoxia； and I also remembered the moment when Enkil had lifted his arm against Mael。 I could not subject Bianca to possible injury。
Within a short time； I was easily able to take Bianca with me through the night to the nearby cities of Prague and Geneva； and there we indulged ourselves with some vision of the civilization we had once known in Venice。
As for that beautiful capital； I would not return to it； no matter how much Bianca implored me。 Of course she possessed nothing of the Cloud Gift herself； and was dependent upon me in a manner which neither Amadeo nor Pandora had ever been。
〃It is too painful to me；〃 I declared。 〃I will not go there。 You've lived here so long as my beautiful nun。 What is it you want？〃
〃I want Italy；〃 she said in a soft crestfallen voice。 And I knew only too well what she meant； but I didn't answer her。
〃If I cannot have Italy； Marius；〃 she said at last； 〃I must have somewhere。〃
She was in the front corner of the shrine when she spoke these all too significant words； and they were in a hushed voice； as if she sensed a danger。
We were always reverent in the shrine。 But we did not whisper behind the Divine Parents。 We considered it ill…mannered if not downright disrespectful。
It's a strange thing when I think of it。 But we could not presume that Akasha and Enkil did not hear us。 And therefore we often spoke in the front corner； especially the one to the left； which Bianca favored； often sitting there with her warmest cloak about her。
When she said these words to me； she looked up at the Queen as though acknowledging the interpretation。
〃Let it be her wish；〃 she said； 〃that we not pollute her shrine with our idleness。〃
I nodded。 What else could I do？ Yet so many years had passed in this fashion that I had grown accustomed to this place over any other。 And Bianca's quiet loyalty to me was something I took for granted。
I sat down beside her now。
I took her hand in mine； and noticed perhaps for the first time in some while that my skin was now darkly bronzed rather than black； and most of the wrinkles had faded。
〃Let me make a confession to you；〃 I said。 〃We cannot live in some simple house as we did in Venice。〃
She listened to me with quiet eyes。
I went on。
〃I fear those creatures； Santino and his demon spawn。 Decades have passed since the fire； but they still threaten from their hiding places。〃
〃How do you know this？〃 she said。 It seemed she had a great deal more to say to me。 But I asked for her patience。
I went to my belongings and took from them the letter from Raymond Gallant。
〃Read this；〃 I said。 〃It will tell you； among other things； that they have spread their abominable ways as far as the city of Paris。〃
For a long time I remained silent as she read； and then her immediate sobs startled me。 How many times had I seen Bianca cry？ Why was I so unprepared for it？ She whispered Amadeo's name。 She couldn't quite bring herself to speak of it。
〃What does this mean？〃 she said。 〃How do they live？ Explain these words。 What did they do to him？〃
I sat beside her； begging her to be calm； and then I told her how they lived； these Satan worshiping fiends； as monks or hermits； tasting the earth and death； and how they imagined that the Christian God had made some place for them in his Kingdom。
〃They starved our Amadeo；〃 I said； 〃they tortured him。 This is plain here。 And when he had given up all hope； believing me to be dead； and believing their piety to be jus
